Present Day

"Brigadier General Jonathan O'Neill was one of the most courageous men I have ever had the pleasure working under." Sam started in her eulogy for Jack. "He was honest and brilliant, dauntless and brave. General O'Neill was a great asset to the Air Force, and to the Stargate program. He was the type of man, that I was lucky enough to call friend."

She continued on, being able to keep her emotions in check. How, she wasn't quite sure, but she knew that she had too. Jack would expect nothing less. "General O'Neill," she paused, "Jack, I love you, and you will be deeply missed." When she was done, there was barely a dry eye in the compound.

After the service, Landry told Sam that he wanted to see her. Her request to be sent to Atlantis was approved, and she was to leave in five days time.

"It has been a pleasure working with you Colonel Carter."

"You too, sir."

6 weeks ago

Daniel walked into Carter's office.

She looked up at him. "Daniel, I am right in the middle of something."

"Here." He said handing her an apple. "Sam, I'm worried about you. We all are."

"Thanks, but Daniel. I'm fine. Well, not fine exactly." She looked at him. "I just have figure out what happened to General O'Neill." She turned back to her computer.

"Sam, he's gone."

"We have thought that before." She looked up at him. "I can't give up. I have to figure this out."

"Was there some sort of anomaly? Did our gate malfunction?"

"No and no"

He looked at her. Deep concern radiated from him. "Sam, listen to me. Jack's gone."

"No Daniel. He's not. He can't be!" Her voice was starting to fill with emotion. "Don't you understand? I have to do this. I have to find him."

He looked at her. What he wanted to say was, "I miss him too." But he knew better than to trivialize her pain. Jack meant more to her… well, more than either Jack or Sam willing to admit. The look on her face, in her eyes, was one of desperation. Desperation to find her lost love. It was the same look he had worn for all those years after losing Sha're.

"Let me help you." He gingerly said to her, as he flashed her a small smile.

"No. It's ok. Something's not right, and I have to figure it out." Carter said, returning the same smile.

oooooo

Six weeks blossomed into eight. Carter knew the answer lay with that 'clunking metal sound'. But with no access to the Pentlookian's weapons, she didn't know exactly what it was. She ran scenarios over and over again in her head. "Did it destroy the Stargate? No. They could still dial the planet. Did it destroy the wormhole? It was possible. Did he get sent somewhere else? That was probable. Where? Where did he go then?" Carter let out a deep sigh, stood up and stretched her back. She was coming to the realization that this was a hopeless task. O'Neill was gone. But just as soon as the thought entered her thoughts she pushed it out again. She couldn't give up. That fighter inside her wouldn't let her until she knew he was really gone.

General Landry knocked on Carter's doorframe. She looked up. He hadn't seen her for a two weeks, and her appearance shocked him. She looked unhealthy. She had black bags under her eyes, and her skin was ashen. She looked tired.

"Anything new?" He asked her.

"Not yet, sir."

He went over to her table, and sat down on of the stools. "Carter, I want to talk to you."

"Sir?"

"I want you to take some time off. Colonel Mitchell and the rest of your team has expressed concern over your health."

"Sir, I'm fine."

"I can tell by looking at you that you are not fine. You look like hell." He said shaking his head, "I want you to take some time off."

"Sir, I just need a little more time. Thank you for your concern, but I am ok. I just have to figure this out."

"Carter, this wasn't a friendly request. It's an order."

"Sir…" Sam started to protest.

"Colonel Carter," His voice took on a sharp military tone. "General O'Neill has been listed as killed-in-action. This matter has been officially closed. We are having a memorial service for him in a week. Think about what you want to say."

"Sir!" Carter said, her voice pleading with him.

Landry's voice took on a softer quality, "Carter, I know what you are thinking. It's not your fault. He knew the risks." He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "I also know he meant more to you than just being your commanding officer."

She couldn't meet his gaze. "But sir…" her voice trailed off.

"Downtime Carter. I want you to take a few days."

Downtime. What was she supposed to do with downtime?

TBC