"Okay, this is nuts. First of all, I didn't even know you had a sister," Rodney started, and Sheppard groaned, letting his head drop back against the wall.

"Yeah, there's a reason for that, you know," he muttered, and Rodney snorted.

"Obviously it's because you fear a John Sheppard version of my sister's visit," Rodney guessed, and the subtle shrugging of Sheppard's shoulders was the only confirmation the scientist got. "And you should fear. You should fear greatly," he gloated, making Sheppard sigh and shaking his head, looking at the ceiling. "No, no, I put up with it for almost three weeks, it's your turn to take your medicine, 'Johnny'."

Rodney was obviously having way too much fun with John's little turn of misfortune. He eyed the geek.

"Yes, Meredith," he replied sullenly, and Rodney snickered, knowing that he was getting to the military man who was usually so ready with a witty comeback.

Over the next couple of days, John Sheppard could not go anywhere without running into his sister or hearing about her. She was the buzz of Atlantis, especially when he found out that she had the gene too (not surprising, considering they were twins), at a strength that rivaled his own, and boy did that just put him on the defensive right up front? To be fair, she was new, and John was certain that once she got over her new-ness, everything would fall back into place, and he'd feel better.

He wished however, as he noted the small group huddled around his sister in the mess hall, that they'd get over her new-ness soon.

"Hey, Johnny," she called, waving him over. He sighed and walked over, like a man taking his last steps towards an electric chair. "You didn't tell me you were a hero," she said, accusatorily, and he raised an eyebrow before shrugging.

"Just doing my job," he offered, and she snorted.

"Uh-huh," she said, looking at him like they were sharing some big secret. Well, he thought, she'll understand that soon enough, if what I hear from Lorne is right. "So, hey, you still up for a fight?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes, some of his old attitude coming back.

"Please. You can't touch this," he teased, and she grinned, standing up.

"Let's go, then," she challenged, and he raised an eyebrow at her before turning to go. "Hey, John?" she said, and he looked at her, but she just tripped him, and he squawked as he hit the floor. "Race ya," she called, as she took off. He scrambled to his feet as people hurried to get out of the way.

"You cheat!" he snapped as he dashed off after her, a grin stretching his features.

888

Elizabeth was furious, and John knew that he should be looking guilty, but it was all he could do not to keep from laughing, and he definitely wasn't looking at Calypso, who sat in her seat biting her lip to keep the giggles in.

Kavanagh was furious too, which only made not laughing that much harder, considering that he'd come straight from the commissary, still wearing the food that Calypso had accidentally pushed him into.

"Atlantis is not a personal playground, Colonel," Weir was ranting, and for his part, all John could do was nod and hope she didn't call for a verbal confirmation, because there was no telling how pissed she'd be if she thought he wasn't taking her seriously.

Calypso took in a shuddering breath as she too attempted to contain her laughter, and John couldn't help it, he looked at her. She was sitting there, lower lip firmly sucked into her mouth, teeth latched onto it, and there were tears streaming down her face as she trembled with unreleased laughter. A snort escaped him and she lost it, bursting out with a deep belly laugh that had her doubled over in her seat, and John wasn't far behind, sinking into his seat even as he knew that he would be facing an even more severe punishment.

Weir had stopped at the snicker, and she was now staring at the two laughing adults sitting before her as Kavanagh fumed, but when she looked at Kavanagh, she found that she had to take a moment to recover her composure. He just looked so ridiculous.

"Dr. Weir, I demand justice," Kavanagh blustered, and she shook her head, snorting in a very un-diplomatic way.

"Oh get out," she snapped. "All of you; out!" she ordered, complete with shooing gestures, and Kavanagh stormed out, but John and Calypso took forever, first having to find the strength through the laughter to get out of their seats, and then stumbling into each other before staggering out into the hall, still laughing like the hyenas they were.

888

"So hey, where's your room?" asked Cal, and John looked at her over his fork, which had stabbed what looked like stew meat, but could really have been anything.

"Uh…why?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"Cause I gotta sleep somewhere. Dork,"

"I thought you had a room? Egghead," he retorted, and Rodney looked at them both like they were insane before going back to his laptop and MRE.

"Whoever's in charge of it hasn't gotten around to it. Fluffy," she added as an afterthought and he scowled at her through a mouthful of food, one hand running over his hair almost protectively. Rodney stopped typing and seemed to have a small seizure before shaking his head and going back to his dinner.

"So where'd you unpack your stuff? Gack face." he asked, and she smirked, drinking her water to clear her mouth of food.

"In one of the rec room closets. Hairball."

"So sleep there," said John, with a shrug. "Imp," he added, and she grinned.

"Can't sleep there, jarhead, other people hang around there, I wouldn't be able to get my beauty sleep." she replied, munching on her salad.

"Kindergartener," he snapped.

"Loser." she shot back.

"Mullet head,"

"Neanderthal,"

"Oh god!" shouted Rodney, and they jumped, looking at him. He looked exasperated and amused at the same time. "I am trying to eat, here," he told them, and they snickered.

"You like it," Calypso scoffed, playfully. "So, Johnny, about that room,"

"You want it you gotta sleep on the floor."

"Oh, that's just mean."

"No," he insisted firmly. "I remember what happened the last time the family stayed at a hotel on one of dad's half-assed vacations. I really don't want to be suffocated in the middle of the night, you heat-seeking python," he accused, and she pouted for about a second before looking at Rodney.

"What about you McKay?" she asked, batting her eyes.

Rodney looked at her, a deer-in-headlights look on his face before he coughed.

"What?" he said, caught completely off guard, and she grinned predatorily. He looked flustered. "Uh…"

"Knock it off, Cal," John said, rolling his eyes. "We're not in high school anymore."

Rodney blinked, looking at his friend and team leader.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Probably the fact that I dated all his friends in high school," answered Calypso, nodding when Rodney's eyes widened. "And his physics teacher," she mused. John pointed at her, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I still don't believe you about that," he told her, and she snickered.

"Senior year was my busiest of the four," she said conspiratorially. Rodney blushed. John just shook his head.

"Wow, that's crass," he said, but he was laughing underneath. She shrugged.

"So how 'bout it, McKay?" she asked, and he stared at her for a moment and then looked at John before mumbling something about the lab and retreating. John gave Calypso a look, one that she caught and raised an eyebrow at when she turned back to her food. "What?"

"Tread carefully, if you're thinking about pursuing McKay, sis. He's not like the other guys you've dated. Or…married, I guess," he said, still trying to wrap his head around that. She flicked a grape substitute at him, but he deflected it. "How does a person get married eight times in the course of what, two, three years?" he asked incredulously, and she shrugged.

"Well, after I found out Anthony was a lecherous pig and got that restraining order, I met Eric, liked Eric, and three months later I was marrying Eric. A week after I found out he was secret service, he told me we could never see each other again, or it would compromise his position in the president's service. Couple weeks after I met Walter, which lasted all of a month."

"Seriously, Harriman?"

"I thought I needed stability. Walter's pretty stable, but after about two weeks, I was itching to get out of there." she told him. He raised an eyebrow, not saying anything. "Was married for eight months to an exec, but he has a thing for younger girls, so I left him, and took half of everything,"

"Good business tactic,"

"Yup. Then there was a drunk fling in Vegas—"

"No," John said, sounding scandalized, and she snickered.

"Oh, yes, little brother, I have been through the tunnel of love. That was annulled the next day. The sex was good though," she added, just to see her brother make faces. "Number six was a construction worker. He lasted the longest – a year – for one reason," she said, and the look on her face was grim. "It took me that long to find where he'd hidden the shotgun." John froze. After a short study of her face, he found that he didn't even want to know what kind of man she'd married.

"Jesus." John exclaimed, leaning forward. "Did you kill him?" he asked, and she looked at him, expression guarded.

"Would you hate me if I did?" she asked. John's first instinct was to get angry. Not at Cal, at the idiot who had dared to hurt her in any way at all. And he was angry at himself for not being there to bash the man's face in himself. He reined those emotions in and sighed, reaching over and taking her hand.

"I'm your brother." he told her. She relaxed almost immediately.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks," she said, and he shrugged, pulling his hand back.

"It's what I do," he replied. "So what about number seven?" he asked, and she raised an eyebrow before making a face.

"After the first couple of weeks, he started to remind me of you, which was just something so creepy that I didn't even want to contemplate," she said, shuddering. Her brother screwed up his face.

"Ew, Callie," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"And Dirk's cute, but he's not that bright, and I need more stimulating conversation than his workout routines and his ambition to join the Olympics." she finished. "There you go; the marriage history of your sister."

"Then I'd definitely say that McKay isn't like anyone you've ever dated or married." he confirmed. She nodded, looking at the doors through which the scientist had exited. After a moment, she tilted her head.

"He is hot, though," she noted, and he snorted, shaking his head.

"Please don't have that talk with me," he told her, and she chuckled.

"Who should I have 'that talk' with?" she asked, challengingly. He took two seconds to think about it.

"Teyla," he answered. "She's good at the whole girly discussion thing."

"Yeah?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as if to ask just how he might have come by that little tidbit of information.

"Yeah," he answered, his face blank of expression, denying her an answer.

"Hmmm. Well, I'll think about it. What does Rodney like, though?" she asked, and Sheppard gave her an incredulous look.

"For that, you'd have to ask Rodney." he said, regretting it almost immediately at the look of intrigue on his twin's face. "Calypso, I'm begging you, please don't chase my geek. I need him for off world missions, and I can't take him off world if he's frazzled from dodging your come ons," he told her, and she grinned.

"Relax, Johnny," she told him, reaching across and patting his cheek. John was not assured in the least.

"At least get to know him first," he pleaded, receiving only laughter in response.