Calypso stared at Rodney from the doorway and thought to herself how bizarre it was that she thought he was so attractive, boisterous and condescending as he was to others. Then she thought to herself how she'd married Harriman, so she really couldn't talk, and she stepped into the room, decked out in low-riding, hip hugging, boot cut jeans, and a tight top that the custom decal was fading from. It was still legible (barely), and it read 'Talk Nerdy To Me', with a binary background that translated to 'Geek' over and over. On top of that she wore her Atlantis issue jacket. Her hair was French braided, and she was wearing her thigh holster. She just liked to wear it.

She liked the idea of walking around armed.

"Hey, Rodney," she started, and he jumped, wide blue eyes snapping up to look at her. He looked as if he were about to start babbling, but as soon as he saw her, he froze, blinked a couple times, and then just stared. She smiled at his shock and allowed him to ogle, just standing there for a long moment as his eyes traveled from her face to her shirt, which he no doubt understood with ease, if the twitch that the corner of his mouth gave, to her thigh holster. She raised an eyebrow as his gaze lingered there, and then she chuckled, bringing his eyes back to her face. He blushed, and she smiled, stripping off her jacket and then appropriating the corner of his desk to sit on. "So what was it you wanted me to turn on?" she asked mischievously, and he cleared his throat before getting to his feet.

"One of the Exploration teams found it in one of the empty rooms on a lower level somewhere in the vicinity of the north pier. We don't know what it is, and we don't want to risk an artificial gene having an adverse affect on its circuitry, so—" He told her as they walked into one of the rooms that branched off of the main laboratory. When she looked at him to see if he was going to finish that sentence he waved to it, and she snorted before walking over. She circled it for a long moment, her hands running over the surface as she concentrated, not yet sure exactly how the whole gene thing worked.

It was about a fourth of her height taller than her, with a console sort of panel that ran up before taking a ninety degree turn that ran out about a foot, and supported a sort of half dome structure, which actually looked kind of like just one cymbal. She walked around and ducked her head carefully forward to look under it, her green and gold specked chocolate eyes roving over what looked like a lot of flat and technologically advanced circuitry.

"Well?" asked McKay and she took a step back, studying it from a distance. A thought struck her, and she raised an eyebrow.

No way, she thought, even as a smirk tugged at her face and she unclipped her gun belt. She glanced at McKay, whose eyes quickly diverted from the activity on her leg to her face.

"I'm gonna need a chair, Rodney," she told him, and he nodded, going to the door and yelling for one of his minions to bring in a chair. In about a minute, after a squawk from the main lab, two other scientists rolled Kavanagh's chair into the room, and then just stared as Calypso set her gun aside, toed off her sneakers, undid the top button of her jeans and then started to pull on the hem of her shirt. She stopped when she saw the three male scientists staring at her. She blinked and then smirked, which seemed to bring Rodney out of his stupor. His jaw clacked shut, and he turned to his minions, who were still caught in the hypnotic death beam that was Calypso Sheppard.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, and they jumped. "That's the military leader's sister, who do you think you are?" he demanded, and they stumbled over themselves to beat a retreat, after which Rodney closed and locked the door. Cal snickered, and Rodney looked around at the room for something else to concentrate on as his best friend's sister continued to strip right in front of him.

"Appreciate the gesture, McKay," she said, and he cleared his throat.

"Why are you…?" he waved his hands in her general vicinity. She smirked as she grabbed the chair and positioned it under the machine, sitting in it so that most of her nakedness was obscured from view.

"Just a hunch." she replied, and he looked at her incredulously.

"You are worse than your brother, you know that?" he asked, to which she just giggled, placing her (naked!)hands on the controls. Rodney took two steps closer and then stopped when he remembered that she was without clothing. With his luck she was without modesty either. He didn't think he could handle it.

"Okay, here we go," she muttered, as she sat back in the seat, reaching over to one of the arms of the device, waving her hand over a panel, which then began glowing, as did the cymbal shaped device over her head. Rodney's first instinct was to get nervous. This, of course, was a default reaction to anything that glowed just before it did whatever it was supposed to do, because no one ever knew if it was going to hurt them or not.

After a moment, the glowing stopped, and Calypso began to giggle. Forgetting his aversion to her nakedness (which wasn't so much an aversion to seeing her naked, just to the complications that would inevitably bring about), Rodney stepped forward and swung the chair around to face him, because really, what if the machine caused people to go crazy?

What he saw stunned him.

"Whoa," he said, sounding subdued as he took a step back.

Calypso was sitting there fully clothed, and her hair was…different.

The outfit she was wearing wasn't something he would have expected, not that he expected her to be wearing clothes at all, but still.

Black jeans covered in leather chaps vaguely reminiscent of Ronon's, a black T-shirt, frayed blue jean vest and black leather jacket, topped off with a hokey looking Sheriff's star that was pinned to her vest, and black, steel-toed, chain heeled boots. And that was just her outfit. Her hair was still black, and it was still curly, although just a little bit less, but the last half inch of every single strand of her now silky and split-end-less hair was now blood red.

Rodney stared. Calypso kicked her feet a little in excitement.

"That is so cool!!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and looking down at herself, feeling the new clothes and running her fingertips (the rest of her hands were concealed in a pair of skin-forming leather), over the star. "Oh, man, that's awesome. Rodney, you've got to try it," she told him, and he stared at her.

"Uh, no, I'm good, thanks." he mumbled, but she rolled her eyes, taking a few steps towards him.

8888

"Colonel Sheppard?"

John looked up from fiddling with his ear wrap and tapped his radio.

"That's me," he answered, and the man on the other end (scientist. No military man would sound that timid. Hesitant to broach a subject maybe, but not timid) cleared his throat.

"I think you should come down to the lab, sir." he continued, sounding nervous.

"Why?" asked John, raising an eyebrow. Unless Rodney was threatening bodily harm, none of the other scientists requested his presence for anything other than to turn on whatever Ancient gadget was holding their interest that day. And since he didn't hear Rodney screaming in the background…

"Well, um, your sister…"

John sighed, shoulders slumping as he stopped walking towards the gym where he'd last seen his sister and turned towards the labs.

"I'll be right there," he groaned, in a put upon voice. He should have known. He was going to drop by the labs after checking on his sister, who had been disinclined to move after she'd smacked him in the side of the head with her stick, because he was supposed to be spending time in the labs today. It figured that Rodney would call looking for him. And since Cal would use just about any excuse to bother the easily flustered scientist…

John sighed again and stepped into a transporter, tapping his destination on the screen a little harder than was absolutely necessary. As he stepped out and walked the twenty feet to the lab, he wondered just what sort of mayhem he'd be facing.

Then he heard Rodney scream for help.

Running into the lab, he dodged scientists and minions alike, and he burst into the side room in a way that was so action hero-like that if his shoes had allowed it, he'd have slid into the room.

What he saw almost froze his brain.

"Oh, stop being a baby, Rodney, just—"

"No! Get off me, you crazy woman!"

Calypso was trying so hard not to laugh, but John just stared, open mouthed as she tried to divest Rodney of his clothes.

"What the HELL is going ON here?!" he demanded, and they stopped, Rodney jumping and then wriggling out of Cal's grasp to hobble over and hide behind John, who tried not to think of it as defending his best friend from a girl, because that was Heightmeyer worthy and he hated shrinks. Cal just shook her head.

"The machine Rodney found takes an image of what hairstyle you want, and the clothes you want to be wearing and materializes them around your body, or in the case of the hair, it changes the hairstyle to whatever you want." she explained, and held her arms out in a sort of 'exhibit A for the prosecution, your honor' manner. John looked at her, eyed the clothes on the floor, and then looked at Rodney, who was readjusting his clothing, his face cherry tomato red. Then he shook his head.

"Right. Cal, no more stripping in the lab, and no more trying to strip Rodney in the lab." And boy was that something he never even had nightmares about saying. "Rodney, you should have known this would happen the second she figured out it was a mini salon/shop machine, and you really have to learn hand to hand from Ronon," He ignored that the man's face went purple, and held up a hand to stave off the arguments that his sister was clearly a crazy person and that crazy people are naturally gifted with the strength of twelve of Ronon. "I'll take over from here, Cal go bother someone else, please." he asked, and she rolled her eyes, but she was more amused than put out as she started to leave. John looked at her and then at the clothes on the floor. "Hey, hey!" he said, and pointed. She rolled her eyes and strapped her gun belt back on before stooping to pick up her clothes.

She was on her way out when she paused, looking at Rodney with a studious expression.

"You know, you could probably try it out when there's no one here to watch," she told him, and he stared at her, slack jawed. "I'd have no problem with suggesting a few outfits that would look good on you," she told him, with complete sincerity. "I have a friend in Wyoming about your build, and he was a fashion genius," she added, turning his incredulous expression to one of thoughtful consideration. She smirked, straightened, and shifted the mass of clothes in her arms. "I'll see you later, McKay," she said, winking at him before walking out. He shook his head and looked at John, who shrugged in half apology, half helplessness to change his sister's disposition. Then the Colonel looked at the machine and back at Rodney.

"Knock yourself out. I trust you don't need an audience," Rodney said, before walking back out into the main lab and slumping into his seat, rubbing his forehead for a moment. When the moment had passed, he straightened his lab coat, which tended to pull on his shoulders if he didn't bunch it up in the back. As he was doing this, he paused, his hand on the outside of his pocket, and frowned, before putting his hand into his pocket and pulling out something that hadn't been there before.

He stared for a moment, and then crushed the scrap of lacy, light green fabric in his hand as he put the other to the bridge of his nose and pinched, leaning his elbow on the desk in front of him.

That woman was going to be the death of him, he thought, as he stuffed the thong into the bottom drawer of his desk and got back to work amidst snickers and smothered giggles that he ignored.