Chapter 9: House of Jed

"Something tells me we're a little too South, you know?…"

The seven friends from Smallville stood in front of an old house that stood at the very top of a bare and barren hill. Dead trees lined the thin, twisting pathway up to the first stone step of the dark veranda. Angry black clouds swirled around the very tops of the tallest tower. An omen of things to come most likely…

Clark gulped. "Are you sure this is the place?"

Jimmy bit his lip before answering. "Yeah, my uncle Jed said we could stay here as long as we needed." He walked out of the line to face them all. "Okay, so it looks a little on the…Dracula way of things. But trust me, its fine on the inside. I mean, I did spend a lot of childhood summer holidays here safe and sound." Jimmy looked thoughtful for a moment. "But then again that was before aunt Fran went crazy and chopped bodies in the cellar…"

Pete's eyes widened in horror. "Well that's it then." He pulled his backpack onto one shoulder. "I'm spending the night, in the van. Who's with me?"

Chloe and Kara put their hands up. "Oh right here!"

"Great!" and with that the three of them turned and sped walked back to the van.

"It doesn't have heating!" Lois called after them.

Chloe looked back "I'd rather be cold than stalked by the undead!"

"You four have fun, 'Kay?" Kara waved her hand frantically over her head.

Pete would have said something patronising, but he was already trying unsuccessfully to open the passenger door of the van.

The four remaining friends watched Pete push and pull with the help of Kara and Chloe. Lana leaned over to Jimmy. "Should we tell them we have the keys?"

"Nah." Lois said as she walked towards the house. "If they really want they can fight off all the ghosts and ghouls for them."

Clark and Lana shrugged on their over night bags and trailed slowly behind Lois and Jimmy. They never took their eyes off the gargoyles that apparently guarded the house. If they guarded the house or potential victims from entering, they didn't know. Another omen it seemed.

"This isn't going to end well."

Creak.

Creak.

"Jimbo, these floorboards suck." Lois plonked her overnight bag on the couch in one of the two living rooms. Paintings that could only be described as creepy, hung along the tall walls.

Jimmy walked around the large room aimlessly. "Yeah…You know I don't remember this place being so…"

"Bates Hotel?" Lois finished for him.

Jimmy halted besides the fire place. "Yeah…"

A jingle started to come from his pocket. But Jimmy took little notice, keeping his eyes on the painting of Lord Franklin Olson of Ginger, one of Jimmy's ancestors.

Clark slumped into the couch next to Lois' stuff. "Jimmy, your phone's ringing."

Jumping slightly, Jimmy nodded to Clark and dug into his pocket. "Thanks CK." Putting the mobile up to his ear he motioned for the three guests to make themselves at home. "Hello?"

"Jamie? It's your uncle Jed."

Jimmy rolled his eyes at the nickname. "Hey Uncle Jed."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Uncle Je-"

"Boy!"

"WHO DAT!"

"Don't go rolling your eyes at me, kid! Listen, and listen good…"

Jimmy unconsciously leaned forward in an attempt to do as his eccentric uncle commanded. Lois and Clark glanced at each other. "Want to go explore?"

Clark shrugged. "Why not? Lana's already doing it." He pushed himself off of the velvet couch and walked out with Lois at his side. "Jimmy we're gonna find our rooms."

Jimmy just waved his hand for them to go, a worried expression on his face. Probably just another one of those omens.

In another part of the house, Lana flung herself onto the fluffy looking king sized bed. This room was hers for the night she had decided. With deep black curtains, violet walls and blood red carpeting it had a certain gothic feel to it. But she looked past that and looked on the bright side.

She swung her legs to one side of the large bed and padded over to the window. It had one heck of a view. Who knew the graveyard in the back lot looked less…dead in the afternoon sun?

"Aw, this house comes with everything…"

Lana's ears twitched as she heard Lois' distinct sarcastic tone seep in through the thin walls.

"…And what's that Lois? Mint chocolates on your pillow case? No wait, little shampoo bottles that you can take home? No wait! A bar of soap to wash your sailor mouth out, I can smell your curses from here."

Lana poked her head around the door frame and saw Lois snooping in the room next to her chosen one, while Clark's gaze watched her intently.

"Oh, funny man…No, I was just saying that everything that we need is in this room. My room."

Lois gestured towards a kettle and mug. "And look Smallville, tea and coffee making facilities!" She throw up a small packet that was next to the white mug, catching it on its way down. Reading the label on the plastic, her love for the room grew instantly. She tossed it over to Clark. "Chocolaty goodness Smallville. It even comes with chocolaty goodness."

"That's great Lois." Clark said dryly. His reaction to the chocolate cookies was not the one she had given. Walking past her he placed the cookie packet in its original spot. "Let's take a look at the size of the bathroom."

"Oh yes." Lois replied breathlessly, both her hands placed above her left breast. "You just take me where ever you want, you piece of man meat."

Clark stared at her. "I am not meat." He muttered. Lois wrapped her arm around his bicep, leading him into the tiled room. "Of course you're not Smallville. You're a Chicken."

"Still meat Lois."

"…Is it?"

Lana laughed quietly at them. She moved back into her room, smiling. This place really wasn't so bad; in fact it was kinda nice, peaceful, not to mention quiet…

"AHHH!!!"

The petite young woman jumped at the noise that had come from the room she had just finish spying on. Quickly, Lana ran to the room searching for the reason for the blood curling scream. She hastily burst into the bathroom.

"What's-" THWACK "-Ow!"

As she had burst into the bathroom at the speed of sound, Lana hadn't noticed Lois opening the clear shower door. Right in front of her.

"Lois, for goodness sake there's no need to…" He turned and spotted Lana on the ground. "Oh hey Lana, what are doing on the floor?"

"Oh you know." She sarcastically laughed, while rubbing the sore spot on her head. "Just checking if my friends were getting murdered, what with the whole yelling thing in the dark, creepy house, it gives you ideas." She glanced at herself into the small mirror past Clark. "Ugh, I have to stop getting injured with you people."

Lois winced at the raw skin. "My bad. There was just this complimentary body soap in the shower. I yelped from excitement, Smallville squealed like a scared little girl when he heard me." She shrugged.

"I did not." Clark denied "I was just…shocked, that you of all people can act like a girl." He nodded to Lana. "Sorry."

Lana shook her head in exasperation and walked past a glaring Lois back into bedroom.

"What did that mean?" Lois crossed her arms. "You don't think I can I act like a member of the female race?"

Clark gulped "No, It's just-"

"You don't think I AM a member of the female race do you?" Her jaw clenched.

"WHAT!?" His large hands came up in a peace offering. "Lois, please, I think you're…You're…"

"I'm what?"

"Overreacting."

"Ha, try again."

"Um, Attractive…?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Four words for you Kent, D. E. D. Dead." Lois turned away from him, hiding her amused grin from her victim. "Men. Only want things to grope for their self pleasure."

Clark side stepped around her. "Hey-"

Before he could utter his denial on the topic Lois put one of her hands on his shoulder. "I'm kidding Smallville, I know you way too well for this conversation to even continue. So there's no need to get defensive 'kay? Besides, we're a team and we're in this for the long run." She winked. "Inspirational moment over."

Going into the bedroom the pair met up with Lana and now Jimmy, who had just walked in at the same time as them. His face was hard and just a little frightened. 'Not a good thing' the three thought as a collective.

Omens suck.

"Hey guys, I just got off the phone with Uncle Jed and I got some bad news about the house." He wiped some of the sweat forming on his forehead. "There seems to be an itty bitty little curse running around in one of the rooms."

Lana slowly put up a hand. "So, what you're saying is…?"

Jimmy locked eyes with her. "One of us will become an axe wielding murder before we leave. Most likely they're going to be taken over by some sort of supernatural entity. Come to think of it, it's probably going to be the same spirit that made my Aunt Fran go a bit on the murderous side of life."

Three pairs of large, shocked eyes gawked at Jimmy. But their host just gave them one of his encouraging thumbs up. "But let's not dwell on that now. It's a vacation and who's hungry? Because I'm starved!"

(10:30pm)

Lois pulled back the silky black covers of her king sized bed. After eating micro waved lasagne with the others they had all retreated to their selected rooms. Tugging the bedding around her to keep warm, she couldn't help but sigh in content.

Boy, did she enjoy that tea and coffee making facility with the added chocolaty goodness. Deep down she knew bad dreams were most likely going to happen because of the sugar. But really, when did that ever stop her? Sighing again she closed her hazel eyes and attempted to fall asleep.

(11:45pm)

Growls and Demonic tongues was the noise Clark woke up to. Rubbing his eyes he glanced at his wrist watch to check the time. He had only been asleep for little more than an hour. Blinking out the last of the glazed look in his green eyes, he sat up trying to listen to the noise with his super hearing.

"No one can hear you scream when you're dead…UGHHHHH AHHHHHH GRRRRR AHAAAAAAAA!!"

Clark's eyes widened. Turning off his super power, he put his fist to his forehead. That was Lois' voice. Three things went through his head at this realisation. 1) She was trying to scare him and the others. 2) Jimmy wasn't kidding about the curse thing. 3) If it was the curse thing this would be Lois number 1004 time she had been possessed.

First time out of Smallville.

"I am the servant of evil, sworn enemy of all that is good and decent!"

Clark bowed his head as he rolled slowly out of bed. Taking his white shirt off his pile of clothing on the chair next to the door, he decided to check out what the heck was going on in this creepy house of Olsen.

Louder growls and inhuman noises infiltrated his ear drums as he stopped in front of Lois' bedroom door. Suddenly the wooden door flung itself open and Clark found himself face to face with Lois…

"Lois…?"

Her glazed eyes never blinked in the minute she stared up at him. "No. Lois is dead. I am Emily. Emily Rose."

Or maybe it wasn't Lois.

"Time to died, Clarkie AHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"Oh God damn it."

(Outside…15 minutes into the future)

"Pete it isn't going to open, give it up man! Chloe and I did and look, now we're playing Texas Hold 'em." Kara never took her eyes of her cards. Sure they were a two and four, but she could bluff. Chloe's face was blank before her, so she was probably bluffing as well Kara scoffed inwardly. Banging went on in the background as Pete smashed a hammer against the van's metal door. She needed to concentrate; her new top was on the line along with Chloe's ring. But because of Pete's constant whining and scraping off van paint with various tools, it was bit difficult.

Chloe's eyes squinted up at Pete; she was fairing no better in this situation. "Pete, sit down and shut up. I got to win this and you're not helping."

"Yeah, what she said." Kara nodded over at her blonde companion.

Pete finally sighed in defeat. He dropped the black crowbar he had just found to the ground and sighed again. "For four hours I have been trying to get in this damn van…We should've gotten the keys off-"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The three friends collectively turned slowly towards the house from which the scream came from.

Pete nodded and point up to the highest window. "What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY? See, now they're all being killed off by scary evil demonic stuff. FOOLS!" He plonked down next to Kara and folded his arms over his chest in a huff.

"Are we going to help them?" Kara asked quietly.

Chloe shook her head. "Only if they get out here."

"What?! Why?"

"Let me Chlo." Pete interrupted "Because Kara we, the three of us as a collective, are the final defence in this thing. The climax of this two shot chapter will only happen when all the characters are involved in the main story line, see?"

Kara blinked in surprise. "But you didn't want anything to do with this thing."

Pete smiled at her, patting her leg as if she was a child. "I also knew it was still going to happen, even if I did voice my opinion on the matter."

Another scream, sounding suspiciously like Lana, sifted in through the background of the conversation. Chloe looked back up at the black, cold house and whispered to herself.

"Those poor bastards never had a chance…"

(Inside…In present)

Evil!Lois stepped over an unconscious Clark. His crumpled form lay over the first step of the spiralling staircase leading up to the bedrooms. She gripped the suspiciously looing green vase in her hand tighter. Looking down at the young man, she gave a crooked smiled before lifting the vase above her head.

But as she swung down for the finale of Clark Kent's life, she stopped. She spied the blood dripping down Clark's wound onto the wooden floor. Her head cocked at the sight. Suddenly she ripped her shirt and wrapped the fabric around his large cut.

'Funny.' Thought Emily Rose. 'I certainty did not do that.'

She then once again swang the vase up and, ignoring the screaming from inside her, smashed the glass down onto Clark.

"Pity…he was hot…AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

To be continued in part two of House of Jed…

Here's a little teaser to keep you wanting more:

Lana Accidentally locks herself in the cellar. Jimmy then lets her out after awhile, holding a knife (They scream a lot at each other. Jimmy because it's Lana, Lana because Jimmy is holding a god damn knife)

Chloe and Kara have a heated debate on whose cousin has gone crazy this time. Flash back occurs showing a time when both of them had gone mad.

Chloe: "Always be prepared."

Kara: "CONSTANT VIGILANCE! HIYA!!!"

Pete: "Hey, it plays AM Radio…NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Big fight scene with the three and evil! Lois…