Sorry it took so long to put this one out. I kind of got distracted with the new Stargate Series I've been working on. Check it out if you want. Stargate Evolution: Alternate Destinies. I now return you to your irregularly schedulaed program

The next day, Cal had to go talk to Dr. Weir, because apparently someone had checked personnel files, and discovered that she'd usurped the identity of one of their passengers in order to get to Atlantis. In response to this accusation, Calypso dutifully assumed responsibility, and accepted whatever punishment that Weir saw fit to give her. Her plan of course was to inspire a feeling that she deserved a second chance for her honesty (HA!) and integrity.

It worked like a charm.

She went to the mess for her daily cup of coffee, and smiled when she encountered Rodney in the hall. Of course, this interaction was limited to him seeing her from down the hall and then scurrying off to the safety of his lab, but still...

"Hey, Cal," called Kavanagh on his way out of the commissary as she was on her way in. Kavanagh was actually pretty nice to her, although John had posited that this might have been because the man thought she could influence her brother in anyway other than inspiring him to mischief. She smiled at the scientist.

"Hey, Cal," she replied, and he snorted.

"I copied the crossword book I got from home, thought you might want something to keep you occupied off hours," he told her, holding out the sheaf of papers with a homemade binding. She accepted the gift with a surprised smile and a blush.

"Wow, Calvin, thanks a bunch," she said, and he shrugged before digging in his pocket and producing a pen. She nodded, taking it and tucking it behind her ear. He nodded and then cleared his throat when the moment grew longer and neither of them said anything.

"Right. Well, Hermiod needs me to help him with something on the Daedalus, so, have fun with the crosswords." he said, and she nodded.

"I will. Thanks again," she told him, before continuing on to the counter where the coffee was, and then to the nearest empty table. New recruits were arriving that day on the Daedalus, so she lounged in the cafeteria, jacket-less (it was really warm today for some reason), enjoying her lukewarm coffee. She wasn't on duty, so unless they called for her, she was going to enjoy herself.

The mission briefing that morning had been about recon for an alpha site. They still hadn't found a suitable one, the Wraith making it increasingly difficult for anywhere to be considered safe. She tried not to think about it as she filled out an expert crossword.

"Hi," said someone as they slid into the seat across from her. She looked up to see a square-jawed marine, probably new, smiling at her in what she supposed he thought was a charming way. She gave him a quick once over out of habit, and then went back to her coffee.

"Something I can help you with, Marine?" she asked, filling out twenty-six down for Marine Corp. Nomenclature as Jarhead. Her visitor looked nonplussed.

"Not really, I just thought you looked like you could use some company," he replied, and she refrained from rolling her eyes, but only barely.

"Wow." she said instead, looking up at him and putting down her pen. He blinked. "Laying it on awfully thick, aren't you?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "I mean with that tone you might as well just forego the pleasantries and ask if I want a private tour of your bedroom." she told him matter-of-factly. He didn't seem to get it, because his smile grew.

"Was that a yes?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes, gathering her book, pen, and coffee cup.

"I think you can spank your own monkey," she told him, walking off.

Halfway down the hall, she stopped walking, staring into space as a thought occurred to her. She took a sip of coffee, nodded a little, and then adjusted course. Two minutes later, she was sitting in her brother's room as he prepared to address his new troops.

"I had the best idea over coffee today," she started, as she walked into the room unannounced. For his part, he looked unphased.

"If it has to do with why Rodney twitches at your very name, I don't want to know about it," John told her, and she blinked, momentarily diverted from her original topic of conversation.

"He twitches?" she asked, interested. "Really?" John looked at her, and she shook her head. "No, you're right; completely beside the point. I want to address the new troops." she told him, and he stopped, staring at her. There was a moment where neither of them did anything, and then he leaned against the edge of his desk, folding his arms.

"Alright, I'll bite. You can't," he told her, in a manner that suggested he knew that what her response to that would be.

"Why not?" she asked, not one to disappoint her twin.

"Because you're not the military leader of Atlantis," he answered, in the same tone as before, nodding his head to indicate that she should give the punchline now. She snapped her fingers and pointed at him.

"But they don't know that."

There was a moment of silence during which they both stared at each other and Cal just sipped her coffee, a mischievous glint in her eyes, before John abruptly stood up, regarding his twin.

"Alright. I concede. You are – for now at least – Queen Prankster. The king is dead, long live the queen." he said, and she smirked, giving an exaggerated bow. John took off his jacket and handed it to her, the grin on his face matched only by the one on his sister's.

"Ten hut!" snapped Lorne – who was in on it – as Calypso swaggered into the control room and sauntered down the steps until she was about midway, high enough to look over the entire group of newbies, some of whom looked confused, one of whom looked warily suspicious.

"Major," she greeted Lorne, with a head nod. He was careful to keep his smirk hidden as he nodded back.

"Colonel," he replied. Calypso turned to the group of men and women.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, My name is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard," she lied, watching with satisfaction as all of them looked surprised, and one of them in particular looked sick. "I will be your commanding officer for your stay on Atlantis. We don't have many rules around here, so I'm sure you'll pick them up quickly, but rule number one around here – as this is an alien city with technology we know next to nothing about – is: Do not go anywhere or touch anything you're not supposed to. As those of you with twenty/twenty vision have probably noticed, I had to learn this lesson the hard way," she said, with a grand sweep of one arm. "Respect the scientists, they're smarter than you, but don't be afraid to speak up if you have an opinion. Getting ripped a new one should this opinion not be shared by our resident Geek squad is no reason not to point out something that you think is wrong. For one it keeps them thinking, always a good thing.

"Follow orders, but not blindly. If you think there's a problem, or you don't understand the reasons for the order, ask about it. I can't tell you the number of times that Atlantis or the SGC has been compromised by alien consciousnesses in the heads of high ranking officers, or shapeshifters assuming their identities," Because she didn't know. "Other than that—"

"Cal, what the hell are you doing? Where's John?"

Cal whirled around, looking at McKay in surprise, and then glancing at the troops, who were now looking suspicious for different reasons, before walking up the steps and heading over to McKay. She grabbed his arm, walking away with him, ignoring the look of wary suspicion on his own face. When they had rounded the corner and were out of sight of most of the soldiers, but not Lorne, she let go of him and started sprinting down the corridor, manic grin on her face. There was a yelp from McKay behind her as the few new recruits not held back by Lorne came ripping down the hall after her. She slid into the opening transporter and hit a destination, flattening herself against the wall as the soldiers made it to the transporter just as the doors closed.

Fortunately, the issue was resolved by Weir without bloodshed, and Cal had the immense satisfaction of watching a certain marine's face turn ashen at the mention of her relation to their military commander.

Later, after her shower, she wandered through the city in search of things to do. She saw Lorne down the hall and waved, as did he.

"That was awesome, right?" she asked, and he snickered.

"Couldn't have planned it better myself," he answered.

"You think they'll hold a grudge?" she asked, and he batted the idea away with one hand as he shook his head.

"They'll get over it. You learn pretty quickly that everyone here takes care of everyone else, and the little shit doesn't matter," he told her. She nodded, and then looked around as the lights dimmed some and the ground shook a little. They shared a look and then keyed their radios.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Major Lorne,"

"Rodney, it's Cal, what's up?" she asked.

Neither of them got an answer. Cal looked at Lorne, who was wearing a similar expression of worry, and keyed her radio again.

"Kavanagh, you got your ears on?" she asked.

"Cal! –Can ba—ly hea-- --ou!" the scientist came back, and she tried her best to keep her voice calm.

"Calvin, very calmly and slowly state your location," she told him.

"We--- North—st pier. –borat—y! Cal?"

"I'm here. Say again, Northwest or northeast?" she asked, but all she could hear was static. She looked at Lorne, and then the two of them were running down the hall.

"Dr. Weir, this is Major Lorne—" started the officer as they went. Cal, on the other hand, went a different route.

"Chuck, this is Cal, I need you to scan the Northwest and Northeast piers for life signs."

"The Northeast pier? Isn't that were Sheppard and McKay were supposed to be today?" answered the technician. As she and Lorne reached the transporter and the doors opened, she cursed, tapping the glowy dot that corresponded with her destination. She also pulled out her sidearm.

"You have a life signs detector on you?" she asked, and he reached into his pocket.

"Never leave home without it," he answered distractedly. "They're this way, come on," he said, and she nodded, gun at the ready in case they were dealing with some crazed experiment gone wrong. When they got to the room, the door wouldn't open, and Cal pried off the door panel to find that all the crystals were fried. Sighing, she keyed her radio again.

"Zelenka, this is Sheppard, could you bring a new set of door crystals, as well as – and I really hope it doesn't come to this – a cutting torch?" she asked. On the other end of the line, the Czech scientist sighed.

"One of these days, Rodney will give day off, and that will make me happy,"

"Not likely," she told him.

"I will be there momentarily,"

"Thank you,"

Twenty minutes, three more broken crystals, and some creative swearing later, half the door was gone, and Cal stepped in to find that Sheppard and McKay were on the floor, and Kavanagh was nervously looking between them. He looked at her, and she blinked.

"She's going to kill me," he told her, and she blinked.

"Who? Weir?"

He gave a hysterical giggle.

"Colonel Sheppard."

Cal blinked at him for a moment, and then looked down at her brother, who did indeed seem a little bit on the thin side, and whose butt now filled his pants better, despite slimmer looking hips. She knelt down and rolled him over, and then blinked some more as she looked into the mirror image of her own face. She nodded, for a lack of anything productive to say, and then looked at Rodney.

Rolling him over, she was presented with very feminine features for a man, including mammary glands that were going to need support if he didn't want back issues. She blinked at him and then looked up at Lorne, who was staring. She sighed, and keyed her radio.

"Carson, this is Cal, are you busy?"