Since it's my birthday I'm gonna give you all a nice big fat present.

Chapter 10: Out of the frying pan, Into the Brothel.

"Hey Chloe, guess what?"

"What Jimmy?"

"I'm hungry."

"Yes Jimmy, just like you've said for every minute for over an hour."

"Ohhh, so that's why we're in the waiting line at Burger King. We're waiting for food!"

Chloe just closed her eyes. Sometimes she swore he did this just to mock her sanity. And every time he did, she was closer to losing it.

Every time.

Losing it.

The line moved forward slowly due to the lunch time rush. In the line next to them was a mother and her two children, complaining how hungry they were. The woman desperately was trying to play moderator to the loudness that were her own flesh and blood. Yeah, Chloe thought, see she could relate to that poor woman, whose face crumpled at the constant whining.

She felt, rather then saw, Jimmy creep into her personal space. His mouth carefully grazed her ear. Hello! This was new. Maybe Jimmy wasn't always thinking with his stomach and maybe he was giving her some love and affection.

"Chloe." He whispered huskily. "Just letting you know in case you'd forgotten, I'm hungry, because you were looking awful intent like at those kids and, well, you know…" Moving away from her shoulder he gave her a thumbs up and a goofy smile.

Someday…She was going to lose it.

"Next please."

"Oh thank GOD!" Jimmy leaped up to the front counter and requested the groups order. "Okay let's see, I want one Triple Whopper…With cheese, three Angus Steak Burgers, one Double cheese burger…That's with cheese right?"

The kid serving them gave him a strange look "…Yes"

Jimmy smiled as he continued. "Good, good and I would also like an original Chicken Sandwich…They're always good. Six large Fries and three large onion rings. Oh! Chloe, Chloe can I have a Shake? Please? Please? Chloe? Please? Chloe, please? Please? Please Chloe? Please?"

"No"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. "Awwwwwwwwww…"

"Jimmy just pay for it all with the Credit card and let's get out of here. I've got other hungry people on my schedule too you know." Glancing out the window she was certain she saw Pete and Clark wrestling in the garden.

"Fine." Jimmy grumbled, patting his pockets. "But I don't seem to have it."

Chloe gave him a look. "Jimmy you had it last."

"Did I? Cos' I don't think I did."

"Jimmy…You had it when we were at the fair."

The man in question suddenly acquired a far away look in his eye. "Oh…"

(County fair)

"My God! Bill…Hey, hey Bill! You better come here and take a look at your pig…"

Bill walked over to his yelling friend. "What about big old Luck-…JESUS!" He scanned around the tent furiously. "Why in the HELL, does my pig have a credit card up…It's…ASS!!"

(Back at Burger King)

Jimmy looked down at his fingers guiltily. "Well, I have no idea were it is."

The kid serving them cleared his throat. "Um, are you gonna pay for all this or not?"

"…So now we don't have any money." Chloe concluded

"Well, yay." Lois slapped Jimmy in the head.

"Hey! What was that for?" He muttered, rubbing his head.

"That was for losing the money kid. That credit card was borrowed from a very rich guy."

Clark spoke up and smiled. "And by borrowed, she means stolen from Oliver."

Lois frowned over at him. "Nu-uh, I mean that I borrowed, as in he knows I've got it."

Clark smirked. "You only told him you had it from a pay phone during our first pit stop." From the sudden look on Lois face, he knew he'd got her.

She sighed. "You say Potato; I say French Fries."

Pete slumped to the ground next to them. "Well now what do we do? Go home?"

Chloe gave him a look of pure horror. "No Peter. We do not go home. We do not call home. We do not even think of home. No Peter, we deal with the situation. With little, to no thought… Of home. Understand?"

"And just how do we do that?" Lana asked, brown eyes gazing suspiciously.

"Do what?"

"Get money without going home or asking for help."

Chloe bit her lip. "I…Don't know. But give me a few and I'll guess something'll be figured out."

"Well." Lana sighed "As long as nothing happens to my face, I'm fine with what ever we do." With that, she stretched up and leaned her head on Pete's shoulder. "Hey, you have comfy shoulders Pete!"

Pete raised his head high. "Oh, don't I just!"

"Wait, why don't we all get jobs? Yeah, it'll be fun." Clark suggested.

Lois scoffed "No way Smallville. I don't care if it has been a crappy holiday-"

"Hey!" Chloe and Jimmy exclaimed

"- it's still a holiday. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you go looking for work experience while you're on a holiday."

Clark crossed his arms, unconsciously mirroring Lois' own stance. "Well excuse me if I'm wrong, but you don't get payed to do work experience Lois. That's why we're looking for a job. You know, where you get money for what you do."

Lois opened her mouth to counter his claim, but Jimmy got there first. "Oh, you mean like being a volunteer? Man, I would love to be a volunteer fireman."

"Uh, that's not what I meant Jimmy." Clark said softly

Jimmy look crestfallen "…Oh. So I can't be a volunteer fireman?"

"No, no, you can be what ever you want. Just, you won't get payed for it. Understand Jimmy?" Clark asked. The shorter man nodded slowly. "So it won't help in our situation."

"So I can do it when we get back home?"

Clark smiled "Yep. Hey, I'll even drive you to get signed up."

Jimmy pumped a fist. "Yes! Free ride!"

"I want to wash trains." Pete announced. He looked pleadingly up at Lois. "Can we wash trains?"

Lois cocked an eyebrow at the sitting man by her feet. She crouched down to his eye level. "No Pete."

"What? Why not?" Pete whined

"Because… do you see a train station around here?"

Pete looked around and shook his head. Lois continued "Do you see any train tracks?" He shook his head no. "Did you see anything resembling anything to do with trains when we drove in?" Another shake. She gave him a nod and stood back up. "And that Pete, that is why we can't wash trains for money."

"Ah, of course." He nodded finally. "But, what about buses?"

"What about being an astronaut? That could give us some great cash." Chloe muttered.

Lois rounded on her younger cousin. "An astronaut?"

"Well yeah, Clark looks healthy enough to be a space traveller."

Clark frowned "Oh yeah, pick on the guy who's already been in space." He whispered to himself.

"What am I, the sane one?" Lois sighed. "Chloe-"

The blonde put up a hand, stopping her older cousin. "I know, I know, no where near NASA… But you have to admit, good money."

"How about a lawyer?" Lana suggested. "That makes money and I bet I could be good at it…" She trailed off thinking.

(In another part of Lana's brain)

"Your honour." Lana, in her most sophisticated suit stood pointing at her client. Her dark eyes blazing as she sought out to defend the truth from Secrets and lies. "It is clear that my client, Miss Hart is innocent… For God SAKE MAN… The woman is wearing pink! She has to be innocent."

The judge nodded in silent approval. "I agree Ms. Lang, you've supported your client with one of the best defences I've ever come across, and I've been doing this for more than fifteen years. Miss Hart I find you not guilty."

(In the real world)

Lana sighed contently. "Yeah, another win for team Lana."

All occupants of the group watched her, an embarrassed silence making itself known through each passing moment. Clark cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to break it. "And as we move away from the awkwardness that is Lana. I have an idea as well."

"Good, cos' you're the practical one here Smallville, shoot." Lois smiled.

Clark grinned at them. "Two words guys: Ninja Pirate."

Lois' grinned dropped faster then a stone thrown from a 5th floor window. "What?"

Jimmy nodded mistaking Lois' question as curiosity. "Yeah, what's a Ninja Pirate?"

Clark draped one of his arms around Jimmy's shoulders. "Well Jimmy, a Ninja Pirate is kinda like…You watch cartoons right?"

"Oh yeah, all the time, can't get enough of them."

Chloe pursed her lips. "Trust me Clark, it's the truth."

"Nick tunes?" Clark asked generally interested.

Jimmy nodded vigorously. "All kinds."

"Great! Well a Ninja Pirate is like CatDog." He leaned forwarded slightly, Jimmy following intently, hanging off every word. "See, you can do secret Ninja stuff, but with guns, ships and the seven seas included."

Clark stood up straight and smiled at Jimmy, who gleefully looked back in awe.

"I want to be a Ninja Pirate!"

Lois rolled her eyes. "No one is going to be a Ninja or a Pirate, you got that." She quickly faced the group. "Please tell me you're all possessed and that what you just suggested we do for money was not an idea formed in your own normal state of mind."

Pete sniffed at her. "Well jeez, I didn't here you giving out suggestions Lois."

"That's cos' you didn't ask me, and before anyone does: Yes, I do have an idea and it's a whole lot more realistic than all of yours combined." She stated confidently.

"Fine." Chloe huffed. "What's your miracle money making job that's better then being apart of NASA then, huh?"

With a tilt of her head, Lois opened her mouth…

"I found a job!"

For a moment Lois looked confused. "That's not my voice." She looked down at her hands. "At least, I don't think that's my voice." She stared at Clark. "Was that my voice?"

"I would say no." He replied in amusement.

"Good."

Kara came jogging up to the group. "Hey, I found us all jobs."

Clark glanced around. "Hey yourself, where have you been?"

"You mean you all didn't notice I was gone?" Kara asked incredulously.

There was silence and then six guilt ridden heads shook 'no'. Kara rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't. No, no please don't mind the new chick. I mean I was just gone for how long? And no one notices, not even my own flesh and blood…For shame cousin, for shame." Clark winced from the guilt boiling in his chest.

"I'm sorry…" Clark started out.

"NO!" They all yelled.

"No more brooding please. Clark, I love you like a brother, but we're on holiday." Chloe whimpered. Clark looked taken back, but stopped none the less. She turned to Kara. "How'd you know we had money troubles?"

Kara shrugged absent minded. "I overheard you. So I went and got us all some jobs at this local establishment… You can all thank me later when we have money and near a good clothes store with clothes in my size."

"Yes, thank you Kara. Thank you very much. You got us all jobs at the local BROTHEL!!" Lois steamed. "A Kent strikes again!"

Kara gave Lois a shocked gaze. "Hey! Brothel forward slash bar thank you."

Lois sneered at her. "Oh, my mistake"

"It's not so bad Lois." Lana soothed.

"Not so bad… Lana, look at me!"

The two women looked Lois up and down. Her fit body was clad in a tightly done up leather corset. A tiny red mini skirt attempted to cover the top of her long legs. Leather knee high boots completed the outfit of a hard worker at the brothel.

"Oh Lois, look at you all grown up, while the rest of us girls are dressed in maid outfits: The skank addition." Chloe teased.

"Well apparently they were out of my size." Lois replied through her clenched teeth. "Why do I always end up in these situations with you cuz?"

Chloe shrugged. "I dare not question the powers of the beyond."

"Oh, have a cry Lois." Came a voice from the shadows that cast the furthest wall in darkness.

"Yeah!" Came two more voices in disgust.

"At least you get covered up. At least you don't have to walk around like a piece of meat. At least you're not 'styled up' like us!"

"Please…" Lois scoffed.

The three men walked into the light of the room. "Look at you? Look at us!"

There standing in front of the ladies was Clark, Jimmy and Pete clad in the shortest gold sparkling shorts to have walked on the face of the earth. Lois, Chloe and Lana stood opposite the uncomfortable men with dangerous smirks on each of their faces.

Lana slowly walked up to Pete and squinted at the object around his neck. "Well, they do have a point. They have to wear wittle bow ties, with wittle gold stars on them." Lois and Chloe laughed at the look on the guys faces.

"…Shut up." Jimmy pouted.

"Yeah, do you have any idea where we dudes have to go?" Questioned Pete.

The girl's smiles just got wider at the many scenarios running through their minds. Clark frowned, annoyed. "At least you get to entertain the opposite sex…If you catch my drift."

Jimmy scrunched his eyebrows together. "Not really…Oh wait, now I do! Hmm…Wait…Oh…Yeah, I do. Aw man."

(In another part of the Brothel)

"They wanted jobs, I got them jobs. But apparently they aren't good enough. Humph, so I thought the place was just a bar. Shoot me down for trying to be helpful." Kara, in all her maiden glory, slowly explored the hallway in which she walked down. She guessed that the standard visitor normally didn't get to see this area of the building. It was dark, rusty and smelled of- "Lycra?" Kara bent down and picked up a tiny piece of gold material.

"Hmm, that's weird. It's like I was meant to see this to forward the overall plot of the story." She glanced around herself. "And now I'm getting the urge to use my powers to continue this forwarding. Curious."

Tilting her head slightly sideways, she activated her super hearing.

"87 bottles of fish guts on the wall, 87 bottles of fish.

Victor throws one down because he's pissed off at AC,

86 bottles of fish guts on the wall."

"Dude, your humour: it's not very good and is not helping."

"Not helping…? Aqua baby, you were the one who got us into this, what would you call getting yourself and team mate tied up in a random Brothel? A mess? No…"

"Hey, I said I was sorry. How was I to know not to touch the blue button?"

"Because it's a button you've never seen, let alone touched before. You just don't do it man."

"In my defence, normally those ones are red. It was blue…Blue, the colour of the ocean."

"Shut up Artie."

"I hate you."

"Yeah well, I hate you more."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh. Man, I don't think I'll be able to look Green been in the eyes when he and quick step find us."

"Meh, deal with it. I am."

"I'll deal with you in a minute Artichoke. I have a chunk…A chunk! Of my shorts missing!"

Kara looked at the wall where the voices came from. She tried to see if the two men behind the voices were really being held captive, but the wall was conveniently lined with lead. "Ok, don't want to do a Kal and smash into a wall. So, where's that random blue button…"

A silent, shadowy figure quietly crept through the slightly opened window. Short spiked blonde hair faintly grazed the edge of its frame work. Landing gracefully from the short drop, they slowly stood to an upright position and gazed at the room surrounding them. A huff of exasperation slipped from their lips.

"You leave to do the grocery shopping for an hour and they're all kidnapped…Superheroes my ass." They started forward, carefully picking out their route to walk. "'Oh no, you go right ahead and do your 'womanly' duties, we've got it all under control…' Please."

Slipping out from the room The Black Cannery scoped out the dirty hallway. "I'll kill them all."

Jimmy sighed in frustration. "Dude, nothing's happening to us." Five other heads nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we just have to wait." Pete suggested.

Lana gave him a look. "Wait for what?"

Others suddenly had a far away look in their eyes and collectively sighed as one.

"A sign…"

Green and Red.

Meshed together.

Actually pretty sexy.

Bart smiled and nodded to himself. "You know, our colours look really good together if I do say so. Like Christmas."

"What!? Bart we're tied up together, basically swinging around in the air, the other half of our team is missing and all you can think about is how well our colours looked together!?" Oliver semi-yelled.

With their arms tied up above their heads, Bart struggled to shrug his shoulders. But the message was sent and Oliver rolled his eyes.

"Yo, it's not like I asked for us to be tied up together and hung from the ceiling." Bart reasoned. And that was just what the two of them were doing, hanging together by their wrists from the roof. "Hey, how lucky is it that the bad guys don't have sharks or something swimming under us?"

"Yeah Impulse, we sure are lucky." Oliver grimaced with his sarcasm. He glanced around the room quickly. "Alright, I've had enough. We're getting out of here. Impulse we need to swing, maybe we can weaken the bolts holding us in the roof."

"Yeah, we could do that. Or we could swing so I could hit that red button." Bart smirked over his shoulder. "It would be easier."

"And when were you going to tell me about the button?" Oliver asked

"When you asked if I had any ideas, my little gherkin. You know like in the comics. Two heroes are trapped and one can't see a way out. So they desperately turn to their comrade and ask 'Do you see any hope for us?' and then the comrade says-"

Oliver kicked him behind the knee. "Just swing Bart!"

"Swinging now."

Moving the combined weight of the two heroes right and left, they managed to get Bart's left foot near enough to the red button on a giant computer that Oliver some how missed. As the red running boot connected with the knob, their cuffs suddenly retracted and the men fell to the floor with a yell of surprise.

Oliver gingerly messaged his wrists as he ran to the door. "Come on, let's go find the others."

Bart picked himself up and dusted off his costume. "You better hope your lady friend is still shopping Ollie."

Oliver turned to face him. "Why is that Bartholomew?"

He tapped Green Arrows leather clad shoulder in sympathy. "Cos' she's gonna be pissed at you for not letting her come. You'll be straight in the dog house."

"Yeah." Oliver whispered. "…I know. Cross fingers."

"That's it!" Clark stood up suddenly, his fingers crossed. "The signal, the sign… We gotta go."

The five others spread around him making the perfect line. He turned to his right and bumped fists with Lois. Then staring forward, he took a confident step self-assured…

"Hey, whoa." Lois interrupted.

Clark's shoulders fell. "Lo-is." He whinged "Come on! My big moment!"

"Deal Smallville, cos' you've missed placed Kara again." Lois smiled before getting a serious look. "Your own cousin Smallville, your own flesh and blood… For shame, Clark, for shame. You see me misplacing mine?"

"So you're Superboy's super powered cousin?"

"Yep."

"Yeah Fish, can't you tell, she and Kent have the same jaw line."

Kara grimaced. "Um…Thank you?"

After walking around in what seemed liked circles with the odd couple, Kara was ready to go home now. With or without the others. She didn't care if there was a point to Chloe Sullivan's vain attempt to get everyone out of the state of Kansas. She didn't care if Lana thought Australia was in driving distance from Kansas.

But what she did care about was getting the hell out of there (and of course if the others were safe).

Kara's blue eyes caught sight of a door that was up ahead of the trio. "Guys, I can see a way out of this hallway. I think we should take it."

AC smirked. "You're the leader."

"…Lead on." Victor encouraged.

Clark and Lois were discussing which way they should led the group to find Kara. Chloe, Jimmy, Lana and Pete just followed their leaders in awed silence. The two friends had led the group all around the twisted hallways and they still were no where near finding Clark's cousin. Why Clark didn't just use his powers three out of the four of them didn't know.

Clark abruptly stopped walking, making Lois run into his hard back. "Why would you do that?" Lois asked while rubbing her head.

Clark smiled at her. "I think we should go…"

"…Right. You want us to leave our comrades in this disgustingly dirty labyrinth because you're scared of Dinah?"

Bart turned swiftly to Oliver. "YES! Dude she is one scared bambina. How you're going to get in her pants is beyond me."

The green clad man gave his shorter friend a glare. "We're not leaving them behind and that's final."

"Fine, but I think we should figure this place out instead of running around looking like…"

"…Crap! This is the last hallway guys. Who would've thought they'd be another hallway behind the door from the last hallway? Weird." Kara let her gaze take in her surroundings. "Hey, I think there's a door right at the end there. Let's move boys." AC and Victor nodded and ran after the tall blonde woman.

"She would be an awesome add on to the team huh?" Victor whispered to AC.

AC nodded and grinned "Yeah I agree and not just cos' I think she's…"

"…Stuck. Now we are stuck in a room with four doors and they are now all locked. Nice one Smallville."

Clark rounded on Lois. "Hey, you followed me."

"Yeah, well guess what…"

"…Ollie, I found a button."

"Well then push it, let's get this thing…"

"…Free. I'll buy you and ice cream, you don't have to pay a thing. Just, Kara, open the door." Victor pleaded.

Kara smiled in triumph. "Kay'" Using her super strength she pulled the heavy metal door from its hinges…

Suddenly a group of three came face to face with a group of six. The silence of the room invaded everyone's senses. Then, as if they were given a hint, noise erupted from both groups.

"What are you doing here?" Group of three questioned.

"Us? What about you?" Group of six answered. "Kara why are you with those two?"

"You forgot about me/her again, didn't you?

"…No."

Silence once again claimed the room. A little more awkward then the first one. A tiny clicking sound started to come from the right of the room. The nine people all turned to look at the wall it was coming suspiciously from.

"Do I even want to ask?" A new voice in the room spoke up. Everyone turned away from the mysterious ticking noise and looked at the owner of the voice.

"Oh, hi Dinah. Did you finish shopping?" AC asked carefully.

"Shut up fisherman…What is that ticking noise?"

Clark shrugged. "Dunno. We were all wondering-"

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Suddenly the right wall flipped and Bart and Oliver crashed into the room. "BART!"

"What! You told me to push it!" Bart protested to the guy on top of him. He glanced up at the faces watching them in amusement/horror/embarrassment.

"Oh hey, Dinah…Clark…Lois…Chloe-lious…AC…Victor…Radom Blonde chick that looks like some sort of relation to Clark…Chloe's boyfriend who stole her from me, but I forgive and forget, because she's hot…Clark's friend who I've only met in his photos of when he was in high school. What up?"

Oliver gasped. "Dinah! You're not shopping! It's, ah, not what it looks like."

Dinah smirked as she bent down near the body pile that was green and red. "Sure it isn't Green…"

Back on the road, everyone was in they're rightful places. Jimmy was driving, Chloe was navigating, Kara was bored, Lana was sleeping, Pete was reading, Lois was watching Clark, The Justice League went home and Clark…was on a laptop.

Lois cocked an eyebrow. "What're you doing?"

"Vigorously voting in an online poll for my favourite fictional TV couple and most likely going to get ripped of for it, you?" Clark answered without taking his eyes of the screen.

Lois sucked in a large breath as she took out a small plastic card. "Protecting this card I borrowed off Oliver and watching you lose your mind is fun."

"Oh" Clark answered back absent minded. "That's cool."