A/N: This chapter is called "Apologies" for the Grace Potter & the Nocturnals' song. The song is recommended, it's really great. Read and review, please!

APOLOGIES

Summer woke up with light streaming through the blinds in a room she didn't remember. At first fear consumed her, but she quickly realized she was in Seth's guest room. She looked next to her for Audrey, but the little girl was not there. But when she listened closely, she could hear her young daughter's giggling and Seth's nonstop talking downstairs, and she smiled knowing that everything was okay.

She could hear her cell phone ring in her purse and she leaned over painfully to reach it. Without looking at the caller ID, she picked up. "Hello?"

"Summer."

Her heart dropped and her brain could not focus at the mere sound of his voice. She felt as though she were spinning. Her mouth grew dry, but she forced herself to respond. "Yeah."

"I'm going to need to see you tomorrow morning."

"That's not going to be possible," she said firmly, unwaveringly.

"I'll give you another two hundred for the week," he said tauntingly. She hated this. She felt like shit when he did this. She used to spend two hundred and more on a pair of jeans. Now that two hundred could really help her and Audrey out. But she didn't know how everything was going to work out. She was in Newport. Could she even go back to LA? Would Seth mind? After she healed, what would happen? She and Seth hadn't discussed anything—the future—at all.

"I'm not in Los Angeles," she admitted.

"Did you run away?" He asked threateningly. She didn't speak. "Summer, answer me. Answer me!" His heavy breathing echoed in Summer's ear. "Did…you…run…away?"

Did she run away? Summer's mind floated into what seemed like some other dimension. Did she run away like Seth did? That first summer? When she was in love with him and Ryan left for Chino again and Seth wrote a pathetic note to her and took that goddamned boat and sailed away? Did she run away like Jimmy Cooper did before he was to marry Julie for the second time, giving Marissa a ring to give to her mother, as if that could quench the pain on Julie's face when Marissa gave her a hug and told her Jimmy had left again? Did she run away like Volchok did when he tried to kill Marissa, running out of fear and the knowledge that if he stayed everything would fall apart, even though it fell apart anyway? Did she run away like her mother? When Summer had been just thirteen, when she had needed a mother more than ever? Did she run away, abandoning her life and everyone in it for her own selfishness?

"No," she said sternly. He had always had the upper hand, but Summer was sick of that. Sure, he had money, money she didn't have, money she needed. But she had Audrey, and Seth, and Newport, and he had none of those things. "I didn't run away."

"Then when the fuck are you coming back?" He asked, unconcerned with anything but when she'd be back to give him what he wanted. Him. Marcus. It had always been about Marcus's needs and wants.

"I'm not sure," she said lightly, trying not to cry, though her eyes burned with the threat of tears.

"You better be here at seven, tomorrow morning," he warned her menacingly. "Because you know what I could do to you." She knew what he would do to her anyway, but she bit her lip and closed her eyes, as if it could block out her world.

"Why tomorrow morning, Marcus?" She asked. "We've never—in the morning before—"

"My wife left me," he said coldly. She wished she could be sympathetic, but all she felt was jealousy towards his wife. "And maybe you'll be good enough for me to forget that." Summer's eyes widened and she felt her stomach churn. She slowly closed her phone, taking it away from her ear, and slid out of bed, knowing she could easily call Seth and he'd gladly carry her. But Marcus's phone call reminded her of the things she valued above all: her independence and her ability to raise Audrey alone. And as much at the temptation to fall back into Seth's arms and allow him to become part of their lives taunted her, as much as she knew she loved him, she couldn't abandon everything she'd stood for since they'd broken up and she'd decided to make it on her own in LA. She hated depending on Marcus, and she couldn't allow herself to depend on Seth. She wanted to, badly, but she couldn't let herself.

Leaning against the edge of the bed, she hoisted her body upright. Her torso throbbed and her back ached, constant reminders of the ordeal that had happened only a day and a half ago. She slowly began to walk out of the room, clutching surfaces as she moved her feet slowly but determinedly. She could do this. She had to do this. She had to be strong.

"Summer!" Seth exclaimed when he saw her walking down the stairs, using the banister for support. He rushed over to her. "Let me help you."

"No, Cohen. I need to do this."

"You don't want my help?"

"No, I don't!"

He bit his lip as he watched her hobble out the kitchen doors to the patio, where she situated herself on a chair and stared out at the ocean in the distance. He hadn't meant to be so overprotective; he knew she hated that. But at the same time, he wanted to help her so badly. He wanted her to know he cared and how much he cared, and this was the only way he knew to do it. He slowly walked towards her, leaving Audrey in front of an apparently enthralling episode of Lilo and Stitch.

"Sum?"

"I'm sorry I snapped," she whispered, lowering her eyes. Shit, Seth thought to himself as he watched her. She was so beautiful, even when she was in so much pain.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to snapping," he admitted. He looked at her closely. "I need to give you your space. I'm just so damn afraid that you'll get hurt again…"

"I know. And I'm grateful I have someone who…cares, you know."

Seth nodded and slid onto the seat next to her. She leaned into him and he rocked her slightly back and forth. "I care about you so much, Sum."

"I know you do," she smiled shyly. "I care about you too."

They sat in silence, each soaking in the other's words. Finally Summer dared to speak, breaking the perfection of the moment.

"Seth, I'm not sure I can do this," she admitted, with some hesitation.

"Do what?"

"This…all of this."

"Summer. What are you talking about?"

She shifted so she was facing him. "I've worked really hard not to be that Newport princess, that girl who lives for nothing but a new pair of Prada pumps and a new fuck buddy. And I almost became that girl. I was so, so, close, Seth."

He nodded. "What does this have to do with—?"

"I need to be able to do this on my own. I need to be able to support Audrey by myself, in every way, no matter how I do that. Do you understand?"

"What are you saying, Sum?" Seth asked, slightly hurt.

"Tomorrow I'm going back," she said determinedly. "Back to Los Angeles."

"Oh, Sum," he whispered. "Don't do that."

"I can't just sit here all day, every day," she explained. "I can't do that."

"You don't have to do that!" Seth protested. "You had a life here in Newport once, you can have a life here again. You can get a job here, send Audrey to school here…"

"I need to do this on my own."

"Then you can move out, but at least stay in Newport! Let me help you, let everyone help you…" Seth trailed off, talking speedily, trying to get her to understand.

"I have an apartment, I have jobs, and both Audrey and I have lives in L.A.," Summer explained gently.

Seth rested his head in his palms, bending over, frustrated and upset. Finally he looked up at her. "I can't stop you, can I?"

"Nope," she smiled slightly; apologetically.

"Never have been able to," he sighed. They were both thinking of those last few days in Providence. They hadn't realized at the time that those days would be the demise of their close relationship, one that had lasted years.

"Nope," she repeated, relaxing into him, calmed by the feeling of her body and his touching, letting him wrap an arm around her and forget what tomorrow would bring.

It had been a perfect day. They had taken Audrey to the beach and watched her spin until she fell into the sand, splash in the waves, scream and grin. Seth had assisted the little girl and they'd built an elaborate sandcastle only to be washed away midday. Summer had packed sandwiches, and Audrey found the 'sand' in the word 'sandwiches' to be the cleverest thing on earth.

It had been Seth, of course, who had pointed this out to her.

Summer was sad to be leaving him. She knew he was a good influence on Audrey, who seemed to smile more and laugh more all day. She knew he was good for herself, Summer, too. She knew that because she felt that that slight ache in the corners of her mouth on the drive back, like she'd smiled too much and her muscles were sore. She wished she could give this to Audrey. Days at the beach, with no obligations—besides having fun and being happy. A beautiful home to come back to. The feeling of being constantly loved, constantly adored, constantly appreciated. Summer tried to do this every day, but she knew she was being stretched thin, in more ways than one.

It was finally time to say goodnight. After putting Audrey to sleep, they had watched a movie, both falling asleep on the couch so that Summer was snuggled in the crook of Seth's arm. Finally they woke up as the movie's credits ended, and they walked upstairs, about to part.

"Sum?" Seth asked suddenly as she turned away from him. She spun back to face him. To him, she had never been more perfect then she was in her sweatshirt and pajama pants, her face without makeup, her hair pulled back and messy. Before she could respond, he drew his face near hers and quickly put his lips to hers before either he or she could panic and back away. But that didn't happen. Summer wrapped her arms around his neck, moving closer so their bodies were almost touching. Finally she broke away for air.

"You know how I said last night I'd sleep in Audrey's room?" She whispered huskily. He nodded. "Maybe I should try out yours."

His face brightened as his mouth spread into a wide grin, and she found this completely irresistible as she pecked his lips once more and slipped her hand into his as he led her into his bedroom. She sat down on his bed. He sat down next to her.

"What do you want to do?" He asked. She knew he was talking about more than whether they could kiss the night away, like they both wanted to. He was talking about the future. About the two of them.

"I want to forget, Cohen," she said, with such bitter honesty that Seth knew he couldn't deny her anything she asked. "I want to forget everything."

And he knew exactly what she meant. He always had.

He kissed her again, and this time she didn't break for air, and he slowly, gently pushed her down so her back was parallel to his mattress and he was parallel to her, his arms supporting him so she wouldn't be crushed. Though that was, really, all she wanted. To be crushed by him, overwhelmed by him, flooded by him—so that maybe Marcus and all those bad memories could be drowned away. She decided to ignore tomorrow and everything it would bring and focus on the moment, on Cohen, the only boy--man, now, really--whom she'd ever really loved. When he hesitated at the hem of her tank top, and again at the elastic of her pajama pants, she urged him on. When they were both divested of all their clothes and exploring each other like they hadn't in years and years, the chemistry that had always been there raging between them, Seth looked at her with the silent question that she answered with a firm nod, and in his swift movements he reversed every pain and hurt Marcus had caused her.

He did what she wanted him to. He helped her forget. He filled her by erasing the emptiness Marcus had placed in her. He was the antidote to her pain; her frustration, her agony. He put her back together in a way only he could do. Marcus had broken her, and he would break her again the next day, but for now, she was whole. And that was all she had ever wanted.