Chapter 4:

"What…?" Lara said, her mouth hanging open slightly in shock. She chuckled to herself, shaking her head, "Come on, Neats, he's not L… Right?" She looked at Ryuuzaki, her eyebrows knit together. He looked back at her but didn't reply.

His eyes rolled up to the ceiling as he avoided looking at her.

"Y-you really are L, aren't you?" Lara said, her voice getting louder as she stepped into the room, frowning. "Ryuuzaki?"

"I didn't want anyone to know, Ms Lara," he replied evenly, still not meeting her gaze as he chewed on his thumb, "I wanted to have a chance to observe the kids without them being influenced by my identity." An eerie silence fell over the room as Lara stared at Ryuuzaki, her face slowly darkening as she realized just what he meant.

"Neats, come here," she said quietly. Near, regardless of the fact that he was nearly halfway across the room, heard her clearly as his eyes shifted from the detective near him to his sister.

"But I want to finish my chess game, Lali…" he mumbled, twirling a lock of hair in his fingers as he looked away as well.

"Neats!" Lara snapped, "Get over here, now! I am not asking." Near shuffled in his seat uncomfortably, but didn't move otherwise. Lara's gaze sharpened harshly, and she was about to bark at him once more when Ryuuzaki cut in.

"With all due respect, Ms Lara," he said, now frowning as he looked back down to her, "little Near should have the choice to stay here and finish this game if he wants."

"Shut up," Lara bit back harshly as Ryuuzaki's eyes widened in surprise at her remark. She turned back to Near who was avoiding her gaze wearily, "Neats, come here."

Near looked from Lara to Ryuuzaki, feeling at a complete loss of what to do. He wanted to talk to L more, but…

"Ms Lara," Ryuuzaki said more firmly, "You can't…"

"Do not tell me what I can and cannot do, L," she growled back at him. "I am his sister and he will do what I tell him to do." For once Ryuuzaki seemed to be at a loss for words, completely taken aback at this fierce demeanor in the formerly pleasant girl he had taken a liking to. She turned back to Near, gritting her teeth, "Come here."

"But…" Near began.

"Nathaniel River, you will come here if you know what is good for you," she flared, clenching her fists angrily. Near's eyes widened at the rare use of his full name, a taboo in the orphanage for the prospective heirs of the alias 'L.' He slid off his seat quietly, understanding that he had no choice in the manner. He walked toward his sister quietly, his small face in a frustrated pout as he hurried past her and out the door. She didn't seem to care, however, as her gaze was still pinned on Ryuuzaki. The anger she was lashing out at him was intense, but he received it with a calmly dark demeanor.

"Stay away from him, L," she said as she turned. Without a second glance she walked out the door, leaving the detective alone in the empty room with a half-finished game of chess.

-

"Lali, why did you do that?" Near yelled angrily at her as he stomped his foot. "I wanted to…"

"I don't care, Nate," she bit back. "You are to stay away from L, alright? I do not want to see you talking to him. Ever." She watched as he bit back his anger, his usually stoic eyes livid with emotion. He let out a frustrated yell before running onto the bed, throwing himself on it and burying his head in a pillow.

"Throw a fit if it'll make you feel better," Lara yelled so he could hear her, "You're still not going to change my mind!"

Near kicked his small feet furiously as he yelled back in a muffled voice, "I hate you!"

"I don't care!" she snapped back.

"I hate you, I hate you!" he kept yelling. She could hear his muffled sobs now as well, but steeled herself so she wouldn't rush to comfort him as she usually did.

"I want to talk to L!" he continued. "I want to be L! I want to be a detective! That's why I'm here! I want to find out who killed my mom and dad!"

"That's a job for the police! I won't let my little brother get involved with criminals and killers! You are not going to be L!"

"Why not? Why not? I want to! I want to…!" He was crying now, his feet no longer kicking as his energy began to die down. "I'm going to find all the bad guys and I'll make sure they get locked up! That's what L does! That's what I'm gonna do!"

"I don't want you to! You don't need to! You hear me, Nate?"

Near threw the pillow away as fiercely as his four-year-old arms could. He sat up and glared at Lara, and was about to yell back when he realized she was crying as well, her face wet and her eyes red with all the anger gone from her face. His retort died down as she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him, lifting him into her lap as she cradled him and cried into his pajamas.

"Please don't, Nate," she sobbed, "I don't want to lose you, too. Please don't…"

Near remained silent as she rocked both of them back and forth in rhythm with her broken cries. After a moment he reached up and wrapped his arms around her neck as tightly as he could. Now he couldn't help crying once more.

"It's okay, Lali," he blubbered, scared for his sister. "I won't be L if you don't want me to, okay? I'll be something else, okay, Lali?"

She didn't reply, but a new wave of emotion flooded her as her cries regained momentum. He felt panic well within him as he started bawling again. He cried with her, letting her continue to rock him as he felt a wet spot grow on his back.

"Don't cry…"

-

Ryuuzaki sipped his tea morbidly, his expression unusually somber as he sat in an empty sitting room with a tea tray on the small coffee table before him. He looked up, considering his options in dealing with Lara and Near. He wanted to observe Near more, seeing as he was the most likely candidate to succeed him so far, but if his sister was so adamant about keeping him away, then…

He perked his head up at the sound of someone opening the door. To his surprise, Near walked in, his dark eyes pinned on Ryuuzaki as he made his way closer to the detective. He stopped in front of him silently as Ryuuzaki stared back.

"You shouldn't be here, little Near," Ryuuzaki said dryly as he sipped his tea and lowered his eyelids detachedly. Near didn't reply, but his expression hardened.

"You're going to go talk to my sister now, Ryuuzaki," he said clearly, his small voice strangely fierce.

Ryuuzaki didn't respond to the child's character, however, "I don't think that would be a good idea, considering Ms Lara's reaction earlier this afternoon."

"I don't care," Near replied, "You're going to go talk to her," He balled his fists, "And you're going to be nice to her, Ryuuzaki, because if you're not, then I'll tell everyone that you're L."

This made Ryuuzaki pause and consider the boy out of the corner of his eye. It was really a rather natural course of action, to blackmail him like that. If the other children found out he was L, his entire trip would be ruined. In fact, it'd ruin any chance of testing them without any outside influences. He frowned, putting down his cup in its saucer and resting it on the table.

"What do you expect me to say, little Near?" he said, not bothering to hide his exasperation.

"That you're sorry," Near replied simply. Ryuuzaki gazed at him curiously as he chewed on his thumb. He sighed, lowering his head so it was almost hidden behind his knees, then stood up abruptly, his back turned to Near.

"Where is she?" he asked simply.

"In our room." Ryuuzaki strode out of the room silently, his hands shoved in his pockets as he made his way down the hall.

Near watched the teen disappear, then glanced at the tea service. He grabbed a few sugar cubes and popped them in his mouth, plopping down on the ground and sucking on them silently as he waited.

-

Lara sighed heavily, lying in bed as she watched the shadows stretch across the floor. The sun was setting slowly as evening came. She rolled over onto her stomach, wondering where Nate had gone to. She had fallen asleep with him in her arms, but that was a few hours ago.

A loud knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. Wondering who would be calling, she got up to go open it. Once she did, she suppressed her surprise to glower at her visitor.

"What do you want?" she frowned, leaning on the doorsill. Ryuuzaki sighed.

"Little Near asked me to come talk to you," he replied. She narrowed her eyes at him, but motioned for him to come in. She shut the door as he passed, then strode to the bed and sat down, looking at Ryuuzaki expectantly.

"What do you want to say?" she asked.

"I'd rather not say anything," he shrugged. "Although I suppose little Near would like me to apologize."

"Ah," she said with a knowing smirk, "Well now, it's obvious what you should do, Ryuuzaki: apologize, get my trust again, and eventually convince Nate to take up your offer." Ryuuzaki's somber expression didn't change as she snorted, crossing her legs and leaning back. "Tell me, if that doesn't work, how many other backup plans do you have buzzing through that head of yours?"

"Whatever happens inside my head is my business alone, Ms Lara," Ryuuzaki frowned. "And it would honestly be better for the both of us if you stopped acting so childishly and talked decently."

"Why so defensive, Ryuuzaki?" she jeered. "You have me in a vulnerable position, and that's why I'm biting and hissing so much, but what about you?" She cocked an eyebrow, "Do you feel threatened?"

"Even if I was, I wouldn't make it as obvious as you are doing it now," he replied stoically.

"I'm perfectly aware of that," she shrugged.

"If you are so aware of this, why do you still take on such a predictable demeanor?"

"Because I'm human," she bit back.

"Are you insinuating I'm not?"

She was silent for a moment before replying, "You can't be. Someone like you can't allow themselves to be human."

"Why do you say that?"

"You know why, it's obvious even now." She turned away, "Feelings expose weakness, and you've been reckless so far. Best to forget all about them, no?"

"You make it seem as if I'm some trained robot," Ryuuzaki replied coldly, "As if I accept the situation I'm in so dumbly."

"You accept this, but you still act so predictably?" she asked, echoing his earlier words.

He blinked, hesitating for only a second before he answered, "I act this way because I want to."

She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair as she laughed rather bitterly, "That's the crux of my dilemma, you see." She peered at him through her fingers, "You people always want to do what you do." She turned her body towards him, her face determined, "Prove to me that you are human. Show me that a tool for the police can still be real."

He lowered his head a fraction of an inch, his bangs shadowing his eyes as he quietly considered her question, his thumb resting on his lip. He finally answered, "I am not a tool, not for anyone but perhaps myself."

"It doesn't matter if you think that, because they don't." She sighed, "What do you think will happen when you finally die or someone kills you? Do you think they'll even bat an eye? That's why this orphanage is here; it's to make you easily replaceable."

"Fighting for justice is my passion," he replied sharply. "I would want for someone to carry on my legacy so readily. That is the reason for this orphanage."

"But at what price?" she asked, her voice rising. "And how can you ever push such a heavy burden on a child who doesn't know better?"

"Near is a smart boy," he replied. "He knows what he wants."

"He is a child," she said forcefully as she rose. "He doesn't know what he wants. Does anyone ever do?"

"I do."

She grimaced, then walked to the window, looking out it at the receding sunlight, "Of course. You're a genius. You're smart enough to figure out what you want."

"Is that so hard to believe?" His anger flashed through his words, clearly discernable.

"Yes." She turned and faced him, their eyes locking.

"And just how, may I ask, did you come to that conclusion with only three weeks of observation?" he retorted angrily, stepping forward.

"Oh, as if you haven't done the same thing," she snapped back, also shrinking the distance between them. "What gives you the right?"

"I'm…" but Ryuuzaki was cut off.

"You're smarter than me, right? You understand the situation better? Is that it?"

He clenched his fists, "I am able to look at the situation objectively, something you refuse to do."

"Ha! As if you're being so objective now! You're hardly keeping in your anger!" He bit back his last retort, seething down at her now that he was standing up at his full height. They had unwittingly been stepping forward, so that their faces were only inches apart.

"You're letting yourself be provoked by a common girl," she continued, prodding him with her finger. "Why is that, Ryuuzaki? Have I managed to strike a nerve? Just how badly do you want to pummel me right now?"

"My standards of common decency are all that are keeping me from physically striking you, Ms Lara," he nearly growled, his wide eyes now narrowed dangerously.

"Then why don't you?" she exclaimed, now shoving him back roughly. "Huh? Why don't you just whack me and get it over with?" She shoved him once more, making him stumble backwards. "Am I such a pathetic creature that it would be unjust for you to hit me?" His bangs covered his eyes once more, but his clenched teeth and tense muscles were more than enough to expose the mounting fury within him.

"Come now, Ryuuzaki," she laughed, "You must've figured it out by now, right? It's completely rational for you to strike back, since I'm the one that's threatening you. Tell me, just what is stopping you? Are you a good little doggy that only attacks when ordered?"

That finally seemed to push him over the edge as he finally shoved back. She stumbled with the force, but he grabbed her shoulders and kept pushing her back until he had pinned her against the opposite wall, his grip tight on her shoulders.

He was breathing heavily as he said, "No, I am not a robot. I am not the trained dog you think I am. You've been playing with my emotions, and I am very angry, but I'm also…" He was shaking, his head bowed as she stared at him calmly. She bit her bottom lip, attempting to remain bitterly cold, but finding it harder to do so.

"You're what?" she asked, noticing the tremor in her own voice.

He paused, his shaggy head falling ever so slightly, "I don't know…"

"Ryuuzaki, I'm…." She exhaled softly, then allowed the room to settle back into tense silence. After a moment, she smiled sardonically to herself, looking away, "I'm glad."

Another pause, then she reached up and gingerly stroked his cheek with her fingertips, then cupped his face in her hands. "I'm glad you're not a drone. I'm glad you're angry. And I'm sorry." His expression was still distant, but he lifted his head.

"As am I," he muttered. "I should have respected you enough to tell you why I really came to the orphanage." He finally looked at her, his eyes troubled, but she just smiled as she ran her thumb over his cheekbone. He blinked in surprise, as if just realizing that she was holding his face.

He released her shoulders shakily, then followed her arms up to her hands, gently taking them off himself and bringing them down, the shock of the situation beginning to settle on him. She twisted her hands to be able to grasp his properly, then intertwined her fingers in his.

"You're a good person, Ryuuzaki," she whispered, "but you frighten me." He was silent, his mind buzzing as he looked down at their hands. "I'm scared of the future you're offering my brother; I'm scared of what will become of me once that happens." Her eyes flickered up to his. "And I'm scared of what you may mean to me." She could feel his surprise as his hands tightened their grip for a moment, before slacking. She let them go, crossing her arms as he put his hands in his pockets.

This would be the moment where he would move aside and let her pass, but he lingered in front of her, looking around him with uncertainty and avoiding her gaze. She watched him, then opened her arms and moved forward, wrapping them around his torso as she pressed her face into his chest.

She felt him stiffen with shock, then finally gingerly lift his hands and placed them on her back. After another moment, he held her properly and tightened his embrace, pushing them closer together.

They held each other for an unknown amount of time, then simultaneously came apart. He stepped back and she walked into the middle of the room. They were both seriously shaken and didn't turn to look at each other.

Finally, Lara sighed heavily and swiveled on her foot. Ryuuzaki turned his head slightly to look at her.

She smiled broadly. "I'm going to go find my little brother," she said hoarsely, as if she hadn't used her voice in a while. She cleared her throat, let out a shaky breath in an attempt to gather herself, then walked out without another word.

After a silent minute with himself, Ryuuzaki mirrored her actions and stepped into the hall. His hands were still trembling as he headed to the kitchen, hoping that a sugar fix would finally calm them down.

-

Near amused himself with a small toy car as he sat on Lara's lap. She was stroking his hair, leaning down to kiss his head every now and then. Normally he would object to such overabundant expressions of sisterly love, but he could tell something was wrong with Lara.

She had found him where Ryuuzaki had left him, sucking on sugar cubes. Instead of scolding him, however, she smiled and picked him up, hugging him fondly. He could feel the shivers still running through her body and wondered what could have scared her so much.

Later, as he was walking to the bathroom down the hall, he noticed Ryuuzaki was sitting in the sitting room, his legs drawn up as usual with the computer open before him. Instead of gazing intently at the screen, however, he was resting his forehead against his knees, completely unaware of his observer with his face completely hidden.

Now, Lara had declared it bedtime and turned off the lights. Lying in the dark and attempting to go to sleep, he turned towards his sister. His eyes had by now adjusted to the light, and he reached for his sister's hand easily, wrapping his fingers around her index finger. He heard her exhale, then felt her stroke the back of his hand with her thumb gently.

"Lali?" he asked with a whisper.

"Hm? What is it, love?" she asked rather drowsily.

"What happened between you and Ryuuzaki?"

There was a moment of silence before Lara answered, "What do you mean, Neats?"

"I saw him earlier, and he was all distracted." Then he added truthfully, "And you seem scared, Lali."

She took a moment to answer once again, "Maybe I am, love, or maybe I'm just being silly." They lay quietly before she asked, "You really want to be the next 'L,' don't you?"

Near couldn't see her expression clearly in the dark. "Yes…" he said rather guiltily. He wasn't sure, but he thought she was smiling. She reached up and stroked his cheek.

"You know I love you, and I hope you know I'll support you in whatever it is you want to do," she said with a smile in her voice. Then she pinched his check gently, as he had seen crusty aunts do so to their nephews on the telly, "But you'll always be my little Neats, and I'll always be there to make sure you don't end up a sugar addicted spider like Ryuuzaki."

"What if I move to Japan?" he asked, pouting as she lay her hand down.

She chuckled, "You're forgetting that mum taught me a bit of Japanese a while ago, and I still remember it. I'll have no problem living there."

"Mongolia?"

"Imagine the snowmen we could build. They'd be huge."

"Africa?"

"Someone has to be there to scare off the lions, Neats."

"Are you gonna follow me everywhere?" he mumbled.

She laughed, tapping his nose gently, "In some way or another, love, I'll be there."

"Don't blame me if you end up old and lonely."

"Hoh!" she chuckled at his audacity. "And who says I can't get married in Africa or Mongolia?"

"Well, I don't know about there, but in Japan you could only marry Ryuuzaki."

"Aw, give him more credit."

He was silent for a moment, and she thought he had finally drifted to sleep, but then his tiny voice rose once more, "…Lali?"

"Hm?"

"Do you love him?"

She chuckled, and he heard her take in a deep breath and exhale loudly. She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead before saying, "Sleepy time, Neats, it's late."

He snorted with annoyance at her obvious avoidance of the question. When he tried to ask her once more, she only pretended to snore loudly. He finally gave up huffily, then tucked in.

He slept, and he dreamed.

He dreamed they were in Africa, and Lali was chasing the lions away.

He smiled.

Note:

I FEEL AWFUL. People kept asking me when I'd update… you guys are so cool… TT.TT

Bah, you wanna know why I took so long to update? (No.) Pfft, fine, I'll tell you anyway. Well, I was rather disappointed with the last chapter, and didn't like how so much was revealed at once. They were too cozy with each other. This one's added some more tension :)

I realized a while ago that my Near is too young. I dunno why, but I refused to think of Near as anything older than 12 or 13, at most, in the manga, and now it turns out he's 15! zomg its crazy!! (has anyone gotten the thirteenth volume scanlated yet?) Sorry about that, and I would edit it, but Near is so cute when he's little… Besides, a lot of what he does wouldn't make sense if he was seven or eight years old.

'Tis a fanfic, no? Anything goes! Sort of…

And I apologize for my lousy fake British accents. Ugh. :P

LEAVE A REVIEW. Cuz the last ones were amazing and you all make this little fangirl so happy…