Ch. Sum: Sakura decides that she's going to love again. Let's just hope Naruto doesn't mess it up.

CHAPTER 4

When Sakura reached her house, she wasn't welcome home with open arms like she thought she'd be. In fact, she wasn't welcome home at all, because the door was locked and nobody was home. Not that a simple lock posed a problem to a ninja or anything, but it was just one more thing to add to the list of wrongs that have occurred that day. She thought it may be wise to go in, lock herself into her room, and not come out until her own apartment was dry.

Knowing this house like the back of her hand, Sakura bolted all the way up the wall until she reached the balcony that lead to her room. If she knew her parents well, she knew that they had yet to notice anything about the busted lock on this particular door. In Sakura's earlier fantasies, she imagined Sasuke easily making his way through those sliding glass doors in the middle of the night and greeting her with a midnight kiss that she'd never felt. It was stupid, really, how much her life seemed to revolve around Sasuke back in the day. No wonder he'd found her so annoying. Oh well, at least one of Sakura's pointless fantasies came in handy.

She slid the door open with ease, slipped into her old bedroom, and plopped down onto her old bed. It hadn't even reached midday yet, and everything one could possibly imagine seemed to have gone wrong. At least, she reasoned, that bad luck could taunt her, but it certainly couldn't defeat her. She also wouldn't lose to whatever internal battle she was having about her feelings toward Naruto.

At this point, and after this much thought and reasoning, Sakura felt she could safely admit that he was handsome. Of course he was! That Hinata girl who'd watched him always seemed to admire him, not that he'd ever notice. As soon as that thought crossed her weary mind, a chord was struck inside of her. What if he did notice one day? It didn't seem possible, seeing as the boy was dense as a brick when it came to romance. All the same, it wasn't impossible either. Hinata was a very pretty girl, if a little shy. She also had a body Sakura'd dismantle an entire country to have. Lacking nice full breasts and hips was something that annoyed Sakura greatly.

Then again, Naruto loved to make fun of the Hokage's breasts for being so big. He'd go as far as to say that there were two ton weights in them, and using them to smash in the skulls of her (male) adversaries was one of her super secret techniques. Sakura'd elbowed him right in the head for that one, and he deserved it. He laughed and oww'd at the same time about it, too.

That was a sign that big breasts weren't his thing, and if that were true then Hinata was probably out of the running. Sakura couldn't help but feel jealous when she got mental flashes of the two of them together, holding hands, smiling at one another, kissing. Kissing stung. Sakura clutched her stomach and shivered a little. Hinata was the heiress to one of Konoha's oldest and finest clans. She could have any man she wanted, and the two on her team would probably jump at the opportunity to take her out for a good time. She didn't need Naruto. It wasn't meant to be.

Sakura rolled over and punched the side of her mattress. Since when has thinking about Naruto with another woman become torture? This was obviously going way out of hand. Of course, the thought of Ino winning Sasuke over used to annoy the piss out of Sakura, but it never quite stung the way the thought of Naruto with another woman had. Then again, Ino never really stood a chance at winning Sasuke's affections. Hinata winning Naruto over, on the other hand, wasn't quite so impossible. Naruto didn't have to wait forever for Sakura to decide how she felt. In the ninja world, it was prudent to live life as if every day was your last. After all, every day could very well be your last.

She didn't know when it had happened, but Sakura drifted off to sleep. It was just a small nap, and didn't last anymore than twenty minutes or so. She was overwhelmed by thoughts, feelings, decisions. Being young and in love wasn't exactly a life-altering thing, unless you're Haruno Sakura, who took love very seriously. Even the mere thought, the phantom feeling of love could haunt and control her by the strings of her heart. She'd once centered her existence around Sasuke, all to come to the realization that he did not reciprocate her feelings. At this point, Sakura had felt the tears she'd been holding back for so long well up, and she cried quietly to herself. She had to purge her heart of her first love completely.

That wouldn't change what she really wanted, though. She wanted him back. She wanted Team 7 back to its old self, only with one huge difference. Sakura was no longer gunning to be Mrs. Uchiha, and she refused to be the damsel in distress that he always had to protect. When he came back, she would be his equal in strength. Like Naruto, she now saw him as a rival, a brother, and a friend. She would protect him with her life, and she would believe in him even when no one else would.

What she wouldn't be, though, is a slave to his vibe. She would also make damn sure that he knew what he was missing upon his return. Dump her off on a bench, will he. Well now she was dumping him, through her tears and through her pride. She now had room in her heart to love again, which was a space a certain Uchiha stood almost no chance at reoccupying at this point. After all, there was at least one guy out there that actually worked for it.

"Oh, Sakura! It's so good to see you! How have you been?" said Mrs. Haruno, shocked and more than a little delighted to see her daughter up and about the house like old times. It was just her mother, seeing as her father was out on business in another country, but that was all right. It was nice that it was just the two of them. Since she'd moved out, Sakura couldn't help but appreciate her mother more and more.

"Just fine, mom. You don't mind if I stick around for a few days, right?" said Sakura with a sheepish grin on her face. After all, she had been so determined to move out just a few months prior, insisting that she could make end's meet on her own if she really worked hard. So far so good, except she lived in one of the cheapest apartment complexes there was, and it was currently under water right now. They must have had ancient pluming from the days of the first Hokage, or something.

"You're always welcome, dear. I'll go fix us up something good to eat. Why don't you relax a bit?" Her mom smiled at her on her way into the kitchen. Some food certainly couldn't hurt, seeing as Sakura had hardly eaten anything all day. While she was heading up the stairs, she decided to take a nice, long shower to clam her nerves. It was just another opportunity to think her options through, really, but the more of those she had, the quicker she'd come to her conclusion.

As she'd undressed and untied her hitai-ate from her head, she took a good, long look in the mirror. There were still traces of red in her eyes from her previous cry, and they still stung. She used to cry so much more back in the day, just how could she stand it? There was also a pensive wrinkle in the middle of her forehead. Her hair was a mess, and she could see traces of scars up and down her body. Even the mirror was against her today, and Sakura had to refrain from punching it. Her inner made a point to flip her reflection off, though. Sakura looked as pathetic as she felt, and she had no choice but to change that. No more feeling sorry for herself!

As she stepped into the shower, the cold spray she was initially greeted with made her flinch, but once it was warm enough to her liking she ducked her head under and sighed. She was so exhausted for some reason, and this helped her relax her tense muscles and drifting thoughts. Now that she'd flushed away most of her inner-turmoil through tears, it was about time she did the same on the outside. It was time that she unwind and stop worrying about Sasuke and Naruto so much. This moment was for her now, to give her the peace of mind Tsunade had practically ordered her to have.

She rubbed as much soap as she could into a wet wash cloth and scrubbed away. She started up high, behind the ears and in back of the neck. She took a deep breath when the sting around her shoulders peaked her senses. Boy, she'd need to put a nice, long massage on the list of things to do on her paid vacation. She scrubbed down her arms the longest, taking care to get every inch, especially on the underside. Then she scrubbed down her torso and up to her breasts, slowly examining what was her body. She didn't have the world's biggest breasts, nor did she have the tightest tummy, but she wasn't half bad looking. She didn't need to be too skinny, but sometimes she felt that it couldn't hurt. It wouldn't be too long until she went on her thousandth diet.

She scrubbed as high up her back as she could reach, and back down her spine. Then she scrubbed over the curve of her buttocks, satisfied that at least one part of her body was well-curved. It was one thing she had that Ino didn't, but it was still hard to beat Hinata. No matter, there were still the legs. They weren't too bad, but Sakura wanted to lose a few inches in the thighs. She didn't often see TenTen of Team Gai in any form-fitting pants, but when she did, she saw a pair of the thinnest, strongest legs that could only be brought on by her teacher's training. Sakura would ask Lee out for some training, but unfortunately she didn't have a death wish. This was another of her features she'd just have to deal with.

Once she'd gotten every nook and cranny of her body scrubbed, last came the hair. She'd shampooed that for a good long time, until the foam from the suds started creeping down her neck like leeches. It felt so good to shower like this, seeing as she hadn't in a very long time. After all, it'd always be a five-minute quickie and then off to work, but this? This felt nice. It felt nice to detach herself from her unfriendly world, if even for a little while. Last up she lathered her hair with conditioner and ducked under the spray. This was always her favorite part, because afterward she could run her fingers through it with ease. Like all good things, this one had to come to an end. Before she ran her parents' hot water quota clean, she shut off the shower and stepped out, toweling off her hair and body and throwing a bathrobe on. Her goal was to relax herself, but she'd felt that she'd done more than that. She'd rejuvenated herself.

Now there was no mountain she couldn't climb; no ocean she couldn't swim. She and her inner simultaneously pushed their fist out and laughed. This Sakura no longer felt sorry for herself, nope. This Sakura wanted to do some things, meet some people, and kick some ass.

"Sakura, dinner's ready!"

After she had something to eat, because boy was her stomach giving her what's for! She said boo to the diet she'd contemplated earlier. Starving herself never made her any skinnier anyway.

Her mom really piled her plate on, and Sakura ate slowly, but plentifully. She and her mom talked about generic things of momentary unimportance, such as missions, clinical work, being one of the best trainees under Tsunade.

One great thing about Sakura's mom was that she wasn't a fuss, or a worry-wort. In fact, any other parents would have had a cow if their baby was placed on Naruto's team, but her parents didn't seem to mind. They were practically religious supporters of Sandaime's ideals, and if there was one thing that particular Hokage had that many of the villagers didn't, it was compassion for Naruto. Because he supported and cared for Naruto, Sakura's parents didn't mind him in quite the same way that most others did. They seemed more concerned about Sasuke ending up on her team. What a way to be torn down in the prime of her life. They believed an Uchiha was way beyond her, for she was a ninja born of a family that boarded between ordinary ninja and civilian status.

Sakura would have to change that about herself, and about her family. She was already becoming one of the most talented ninjas of the Haruno bloodline. She wasn't the strongest ninja, nor was she the most nimble, but she was very smart. In being so, she was about to exceed even some of her own expectations, and became much more than one to fill the third space on her team.

This was something that made her mother proud. Sakura had become brave and capable, which is why Mrs. Haruno had allowed her to go live on her own; to become her own person.

Above all, her mom trusted her to be nothing less than a success. It must have been a stroke of luck, rather than misfortune, that the water pipes had broken. It was nice to have this kind of talk with her mother. There was nothing else like it in the world.

That was, until the topic she'd avoided like the plague came up.

"So, have you found yourself a nice boyfriend yet? It's unbecoming of you to keep pining over the Uchiha boy," said her mother, and there went Sakura's good mood right out the door. She groaned and pushed her plate back, having lost her appetite. Sasuke was the last thing she wanted to talk about. In fact, the thought of boys in general was really going to be the death of her.

"No, mother. And I'm not pining over Sasuke either. In fact, I'm... over him," said Sakura, unsatisfied with the crack in her voice. It wasn't that she wasn't over him, because she really was. It was just hard to hear herself let go of something that had felt so strong and so right for the longest time. Although, every romantic fantasy of her's she'd ever thrown Sasuke in, every last one, were not scenes, hopes, or dreams that fit him in the slightest. He was not a kind person, nor was he romantic, and he didn't even try to be. He only put his heart and soul into life-or-death situations, and he cared enough for her to cut himself off from her life politely. He thanked her, but he left her. There was no longer a gaping wound in her heart that every thought of him poured salt into. All that was left was a scar, which was a reminder of her grave mistake. She had gotten too close to the wrong kind of guy, and was burned as a result. More than anything, she hated being reminded like this.

It was hard to admit that she was over him, yes, but that didn't make it any less true. Which reminded her, for the third night in a row she had a date with Naruto in a few.

"Excuse me," said Sakura, wiping a grain of rice off her lip. She left the table without so much as a passing look. Her mother's gaze weighed a ton on her back, but she kept on going. This was not the person to speak to about this sort of thing. Then again, Naruto wasn't either, seeing as he was part of the problem. The only difference was that he wouldn't bring up Sasuke in such a way.

When she reached her room, she'd gotten a glimpse of herself in her tall mirror, reminding her that she'd need to change out of that robe. First things first, though. She had to cool off a little, and a few moments on the balcony would do the trick.

The breeze picked her hair up instantly, and the stars in the sky twinkled. What a perfect evening it was, great for taking a nice, long walk in. She could practically see all the couples out now along the dirt roads, holding hands and talking about nothing in particular. That was one of her biggest romantic fantasies, aside from watching the sunset from the monument of the Hokages, or walking through a forest of cherry blossom trees along an endless gravel path as the petals blew around her and her lover. The thoughts gave her tingles. She knew she was getting a little too old for this stuff, but it didn't hurt to dream every now and then.

She needed to think of something romantic to fit the moment, though. It was chilly, so maybe her lover could place his coat around her shoulders. The two of them would lace fingers, lean in really close, and before leaning in to kiss they look up at the stars. Her lover is the first to look down, catching a glimpse of her star-strewn, bright green eyes. He leans in real close and tells her, "You've got stars in your eyes, Sakura."

It was about then that she sighed and shook her head. There was no way that sort of thing would happen. Men were only capable of being that romantic in movies. Well, that was what a woman's dream world was for. The vault of dreams doomed to never come true.

"You've got stars in your eyes, Sakura," said a voice from her side. She yelped in surprise, knowing damn well she should have sensed the presence beside her. What's more, the thought of Naruto reading her mind was outright creepy, which lead her to this question: Since when could Naruto read minds? Or was he? Could he?

"Naruto! Don't surprise me like that!" Sakura shouted. If the seat out there weren't attached to the balcony itself, she would have tossed it at him. In any case, she knew she had to get going. She told him she'd spend a bit of the evening with him, but no more than that! It was bad enough that she couldn't bring herself to call this whole thing off and have an evening without him for a change.

Naruto stood crouched on the rim of the balcony, and he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. Couldn't resist."

"Damn it," Sakura muttered. "What are you doing here, anyway? I was just about to go see you."

"Yeah right, dressed in that?" said Naruto, and she could feel the perverted thoughts soaring through his mind. Yes, there was obviously nothing under her bathrobe. He was staring at her in such a way that lit her skin on fire, but she couldn't quite pinpoint the feeling, so she settled for her default. Rage.

"If you don't want me to break every bone in your damn body you'll quit staring at me like that," said Sakura, and fell back into the seat with fear. So he was horny, was he? Well, she'd just have to give him something to be horny about, and disappoint him dearly when he thought he had her wrapped in his sweet little fingers. With a pointed smirk on her face, she shoved open the sliding-glass door and glared over her shoulder. "I'm getting dressed now. Don't you dare think about peaking."

She slammed the door shut, and the curtains along with 'em, intentionally leaving a crack in the curtains open to test him. She just dared him to peep on her. She just dared him.

Sakura couldn't be happier about being back to normal again.

to be continued...

A/N: I may raise the rating on this story (but I don't think the shower scene calls for an M-rating cos nothing sexual happened.) I will let you all know if an eventual lemon for this story will be written. Also, I was overwhelmed by the amount of good comments that the last ch. received, so I thought I would update a day earlier than I wanted to as a thanks.