Big Thank you to CarlyJo, Once Bitten and Chrissienuil for the reviews. It was great to hear from you. Thanks so much for all the support. I hope you enjoy the next chapter :)
Take care everyone.
Emmalisa x
Nicholas was right, she did need closure.
How could she ever move forward when she was forever looking back?
Chapter Twenty Five
Nya was roused from her sleep by something tickling her nose. Her head was still a little groggy so the tickling sensation wasn't a pleasant one. She just wanted to sleep. Sniffing and groaning at the sensation, she rolled over, back into the warmth of the blankets.
Just one more hour and she would get up. Perhaps...
She wasn't sure how many hours she had slept for, but her body felt like she needed at least another month of rest. Her arms ached still from being extended, and since Nicholas respected her wishes to remain in a bed and not below ground, she hadn't healed as quickly as she may have done.
Nicholas had given her blood and left saying he needed to see someone. She wished she could say she didn't feel abandoned, but she still did. Even though she had been through so much in this house, it still wasn't her own. She didn't yet feel like she belonged here.
Nya groaned aggravated that the tickling sensation was back.
Wiggling her nose she buried herself deeper into her pillow, inhaling deeply of Nicholas's scent. She hoped he would be back soon. She needed someone to hold her, she didn't want to talk about what happened, she just needed someone to be with her.
Once again she felt something tickling at her nose, annoyed beyond belief, Nya's eyes snapped open and came face to face with something red. In natural reaction to something that close to her face, Nya gasped and jumped back, before grinning at what had been tickling her.
Nicholas had a red rose in his hand, and a smile on his face that said he was amused by her reaction, and very happy to see her awake.
"I thought you were going to sleep all night" His childlike grin was mesmerizing, and she couldn't help but beam back at him. How had her annoyance gone away so fast? Her heart did a funny little flip as she looked at him. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to that feeling.
The rose that had previously been annoying her was now being idly run up her arm.
"How are you feeling?" Nya wasn't sure if Nicholas had even spoken, as his eyes were glued to the rose and her skin.
"How am I feeling?" She screwed her face up as she thought of how she was feeling. Not great that was for sure. Her arms felt heavy and stiff, and she still had a chill. A sort of tingling sensation that ran down her back, and down her arms every so often.
The rose reached her shoulder and ran across her collar bone and back before caressing up her neck. Nya swallowed at the feel of the red petals on her skin.
"Better" She managed to whisper out.
Nicholas leaned closer to her, his lips less than a couple of centimeters from hers. "Liar"
Nya smiled, and wondered why she even bothered to lie to him.
"So where have you been?"
Nya frowned as Nicholas pulled back and returned to watching the rose gliding up and down her neck. Something was wrong, she could tell.
"I have something downstairs for you in the living room"
She had never really enjoyed surprises, but she trusted Nicholas completely. Whatever was in that room would be a good thing. She trusted that.
On her tip toes, she ran across the lobby floor, the marble cold on her bare feet.
The white shirt was fluttering around her thighs.
She turned to smile at Nicholas over her shoulder and was surprised he wasn't smiling at her antics. He seemed quite grave. No smile on his ageless face. No emotion at all.
Nya should have noticed that more. She would have noticed that before.
Something about living with Nicholas had made her less suspicious and more trusting.
She didn't think anything of Nicholas' expressionless face, she didn't suspect that whatever sitting in the room in front of her would be something she didn't want to see.
She trusted that everything would be fine.
Facing the wooden door, her hand clutched the door handle and before she could open the door, she felt Nicholas' large hands on her hips, tight, stopping her moving any further.
His face rested on her shoulder as he whispered beside her.
"Everything I do, I do for your happiness. Always remember that, my angel. I live to make you happy"
Nya stopped smiling at his words. Although they were words of love, the way he said those words were not happy. They sounded like an apology. An excuse.
She turned to face him, and he kissed her lightly before resting his forehead upon hers.
"Open the door if you want to, Nya. Only if you want to"
Nya closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She trusted him, and her feelings for him. Whatever was on the other side of that door she could handle. She kissed Nicholas before stepping out of his reach, turning to the door. Nya turned the handle and walked into the room.
On the cream sofa sat her mother.
Nya couldn't move, and could barely breath. She hadn't seen her mother in nearly three years. All at once the agony of leaving her mother behind, of traveling alone, working in exotic bars was crushing down upon her. The grief was unbearable. Tears fell before she could stop them.
Her mother was here. In their home. No! She was in Nicholas's home.
Before her mother could even utter a word, Nya turned and walked out the room. She couldn't breathe in there.
The weight of her emotions too much for her to bare. This was too much. All too much.
Yesterday she had killed her father, and tonight she was getting visited by her mother. NO! Nya stilled in the lobby as she realized her mother hadn't come her on her own accord. Nicholas...Nicholas had brought her here.
Dragged her probably, Nya thought bitterly as she ascended the stairs.
Her heart was pounding in her temples, her whole body felt alive, tingling with emotion. The most intense feeling she had was anger. So much so, it took all her control not to spin around, bare her new teeth and hiss as Nicholas followed her up the stairs.
This was one vampire he didn't want to get too close to right now. She was furious, shaking with her feelings.
This was the surprise? This was what he had brought to her, the night after she had killed her own father?
How stupid had she been? What had she expected? Well she was damn sure she hadn't expected to find her bloody mother !
"Nya, wait!" Nya ignored Nicholas as she slammed the bedroom door shut.
Was this what her life was going to be like? The minute everything was going OK, something would happen that would shatter everything she had come to believe in. The second the door was shut, Nya leaned back against it, and let the tears fall. She couldn't stop them once they had started, the emotion too raw and fresh. Her mother was downstairs.
Nya shook her head as she failed to comprehend that fact. Her mother was here. Nicholas had brought her here.
Nya stared at the ceiling as she thought over the agony she had gone through when she had left her mother behind. She couldn't stay any longer, she had long realized she couldn't help her mother. She had tried, hundreds of times over the years.
She had taken her to therapy, meetings, counseling. Brought videos, tapes and books, everything you could imagine to try to get her mother to stop drinking. In the end even tears and screaming didn't help to convince her mother to stop. The threat of losing her own daughter also failed to rouse even a minuscule amount of grief or regret.
Nya could remember clearly leaving her home. Walking to the door with nothing, as she had nothing, hearing her mother approaching from behind. Nya could smell the alcohol before she heard her mothers approach.
The way her heart had pounded, Nya had been sure that her mother was coming to stop her.
Coming to beg her to stay, to remain with her.
That she would promise to stop the drinking.
Nya had turned with hopeful eyes to glance at her mother.
The second she did, her mother had spat in her face, called her vile names and ended with "Shut the door behind you".
Nya sunk to her knees. There had been nothing left to do but leave. And now her mother was back. She loved her mother but she couldn't bare the burden anyone. She couldn't have any more restless nights wondering if she would find her mother dead in the morning.
She couldn't do it anymore.
She couldn't!!
She knew she was weak for not being able to cope but she couldn't anymore. Enough was enough. No more fighting, and losing.
"Nya, Please open the door" Nicholas' whispered voice came through the wood, and Nya couldn't respond verbally, she just shook her head, and covered her face with her hands.
"Nya. I'm sorry. I thought you needed closure with your mother, perhaps build a new relationship. I only want your happiness..."
Nya wasn't sure how it happened, but one minute she was on the floor, sobbing the next the door was open and she was slapping Nicholas. She couldn't even recall how she hit him, she only came back to herself, when her hand connected with his cheek, and the look of sorrow came into his eyes.
She hadn't wanted to hit him, she didn't want him in pain, But –
She was so angry! So emotional. She wanted to scream and fight so badly. She just wanted it all to go away.
"Closure? I need closure with my mother? I got closure when she spat in my face and called me her greatest regret! You want to make me happy? Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to leave my own mother behind. Sure, she wasn't going to win any 'mother of the year' awards. But she was my mother! I loved her, and for years I tried to help her. You don't know what its like. How could you ever understand." Nya slammed the door on Nicholas and tried to gain back control of her breathing. The words had just slipped out.
Backing away from the door, Nya walked into the bathroom, and leaning over the white wash basin as she splashed her tear stained face with hot running water. Bracing her hands either side of the basin she looked into the mirror above it. This couldn't be happening. She hadn't expected any of this.
She felt like a child, hiding in the bathroom, but she was generally terrified to come out.
She couldn't face what was outside of this room right now.
She couldn't face her mother, not yet.
She wanted a relationship with her mother, of course she did, but she was too angry right now to bare the sight of her. She hated that even after all these years the pain of her childhood, or lack of, still tormented her. How much of a child she was to not be able to get past this?
Nicholas was right, she did need closure.
Not of her relationship with her mother.
But she needed to put her previous life to rest. How could she ever move forward when she was forever looking back?
She did need closure, and when she got it, she could possibly try to rebuild her relationship with her mother. But it would be from scratch, they didn't even have the foundations for a relationship. It would be a fresh start.
Nya took a deep breath and clutched the basin a little tighter. She had been so sure of her future a month ago, but now... so much had changed.
But was the prospect of a loving husband and a chance to rebuild her relationship with her mother so bad a change? She didn't have to work at the bar anymore, she didn't have to be alone all the time, trusting no one.
Nya looked into the mirror and wondered if the changes were good but too much? So much had happened in so short a time. Could she still be the person she had always been, but be happy?
Nya shook her head, she was thinking too much. Worrying too much. She preferred to take everything one day at a time.
"Nya?"
Nya turned and looked at the door. Nicholas was still behind it. Wiping her tears from her face, Nya walked to the door and opened it slowly.
She felt so guilty when she saw Nicholas on the other side. His cheek was pink, and his eyes held so much pain she wanted to cry again. But she wouldn't, crying wasn't going to make this right.
"I'm sorry I hit you"
"Baby, never apologize to me. I deserved it."
Nya shook her head. "About my mother... I..."
"I know, you need time"
Nya nodded, a red tear streaking down her right cheek, before being wiped away with Nicholas's thumb.
Thank you for reading :)
Sorry it took me a while to upload. Please review.. :)
Take care everyone
emmalisa x x
PS: Carly Jo your prediction for Nya's reaction was spot on. You know the charactors really well. When I read your review I had already done the draft copy of this chapter, so I was amazed when you wrote Nya's exact reaction... :) x