A/N Ah yes another chapter! Enjoy…I can promise you that in the coming chapters more stuff will go on, and I'll try not to let it get dull! And this is once again a flashback chapter and the last one for a bit.

Sweet.

He had a nickname for her now. Not quite as wonderful as love and a bit on the cheesy side, but the point was, he had a nickname for her.

Jude laid in between the comfort of his sheets while Jojo's guitar bounced off his opposite wall.

"Do you have to play in here mate?"

Jojo didn't respond. He continued to strum the chords with his fingers and hum an unfamiliar tune.

Jude sighed and rolled over. It had been 2 weeks since the "night from hell" as Max called it. He couldn't remember much of it, just the fight and the tears, and the "sweet." He didn't understand why one word was driving him so crazy but it was.

Jojo stopped playing when Jude rolled over.

"It's a good song man, once I get words that sound right to it."

Jude didn't respond. At this point caring about lyrics wasn't his priority.

Jojo picked back up into strumming and started speaking a few words that came to his head.

"I'll go with none so you don't go without.

The color of my decision is pale white like your doubt.

Could you rest in my soul under my bones and lies?

Been sleeping all day while you shed tears in disguise.

Up the street where the East Coast burdens you.

To the way your hands melt like the snow.

I never asked you the answers that you knew,

But you've broken me up and I've got the time to go."

"It wouldn't be hard to guess what inspired you there mate."

Jojo smiled a little and watched Jude roll back over and face him.

"I was hard on her."

"I can't say you weren't, but she's hard on the drugs my friend."

Jude sighed and looked at the pile of clothes lying on the floor. He knew he should get up, walk to the Laundromat and do something with his day, but it was so hard to get out of bed. Jojo stood up and picked up his guitar.

"Look man, you can lay here forever and think about all the things that aren't worth living for, or you can make the most of the things that are."

Jude watched him walk out into the living room and he sat up. His head ached and he was out of pills. Around the room were half full bottles of liquor and empty ones piled high amongst each other. Jude stood up and walked into the bathroom. They had a mirror now, which didn't make him too happy. Seeing his reflection was enough to make him sick to his stomach. He bent over the toilet and felt himself grow sick.

He wiped his face and turned the shower on. The water eased his mind and he began humming the tune Jojo was humming earlier. He couldn't take "sweet" from his mind. He kept repaying it, how John said it and how he looked when he said it. He knew why it bothered him, the first time he called Lucy love she returned the favor by walking up to him, placing her hands on his hips and kissing him.

He leaned against the shower wall and grimaced. The thought of her kissing someone else, even if she hadn't, it churned him up inside. His stomach, still weak from throwing up was ready to give way again. He couldn't take it. He didn't want to do laundry, he didn't want to get dressed, he wanted to drink because that seemed to keep his stomach from aching out something awful. He turned the water off and headed to the kitchen, grabbing a fresh bottle of whiskey he walked to his room and indulged in the most satisfying part of his day.

Across town Lucy was wandering alleys and empty shops with John and Prudence. She was longing for the fix she hadn't got yet. She felt her fingers tingle and her forehead sweat. She wanted it, and she needed it. John kept looking back at her and smiling. "Soon sweet" he would tell her before turning around. Prudence always looked so confused anytime he said that, but Prudence who never really cared all that much found it easier not to ask.

By the time they had scored anything it was late in the day. The sun was setting over the city skyline and the car horns were dying off. The lights looked wonderful to Lucy and she wished Jude could be there to see them with her.

Jude

His name in her mind was almost foreign at this point. They hadn't spoke much since what happened. Every once in a while she would crawl off the couch and into his room, and snuggle her way between the sheets. Jude wouldn't always wake up but if he did, nothing was ever said. He would drape his arm over her and pull her close. She would face him for a moment and their eyes would freeze for a second. Neither one of them spoke and ever dared to. Sometimes she knew exactly what he was saying without him ever opening his mouth. She'd roll back over and fall asleep feeling comforted and well, hoping that in the morning things would still be so peaceful. But mornings came and Jude wouldn't be there. He'd be in the kitchen or in the living room gazing out the window or at his sketch pad.

Lucy sighed while thinking about Jude and John noticed she was falling behind.

"Sweet…what's got you back there?"

"I think I am going to head home guys…there's some things I need to take care of."

John winced when she said she was leaving. He knew what for and he knew why. It was that piece of shit good for nothing English boy with the face of a poet. He shrugged.

"Well don't plan on coming back tonight…we're going out."

Lucy heard a tone in John's voice that she never caught before.

"Okay…" she stated bluntly.

She turned down the next alley and cut across traffic. She needed to talk to him, just to hear his voice.

She climbed the stairs and passed Sadie and Jojo leaving on the way. They smiled at her but both looked rushed. She wished them luck on their gig and finished the climb alone. She walked into the apartment and saw a half full bottle of whiskey on the counter. She closed it and put it under the sink. She walked to the back room and saw Jude, drawing in his book. He never looked up, never moved, she was afraid to breathe.

"Hi…"she said barely above a whisper.

Jude looked up from his sketch, startled. "It's 7?"

"I know…I wanted to talk to you."

He concentrated back on his drawing.

"Please…"

"Look I feel bad about what happened, but I don't expect you to forgive me. I can live with that."

"I do forgive you."

Jude laughed a bit and sat his book down.

"I do." Lucy said her voice quivering.

Jude rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. Lucy walked to the edge of the bed and sat down next to him.

Jude turned and faced her. "You don't sleep in here much. We barely speak, when I see you you're coming or going from somewhere and you can't wait to get a hold of some o' that fancy powder. Who are you Luce?"

Lucy breathed in deep and coughed. "Jude…I like how I feel when I am doing it. Just like you like being drunk."

"It's different-"

'It's not any different, listen…why can't we just accept the things how they are and learn to still love each other anyway?"

Jude shrugged. "I just want to see you more."

Lucy looked at her hands. "I'm afraid of you Jude."

"Oh come on, you know I'd never hurt you."

"You don't know how you look when you drink…"

Jude let a breath escape and he looked at the broken girl on the bed next to him. Two broken people with two broken lives, about to have broken hearts.

"I'll try to stop…" he managed to spit out.

Lucy looked into his eyes and held his gaze, for the first time in weeks. "Thank you." she whispered, her voice still cracking.

Jude half expected her to say me too, but she didn't. She never mentioned John and she never mentioned cocaine. Jude let it rest. He had nothing else to say really, and if him not drinking as much would get Lucy to spend more time with him, he could deal with it.

But Jude didn't stop. He didn't get worse and he didn't get better. He couldn't find it in himself to pry his hand off the bottle. His stomach would ache and growl all through the night if he didn't have a few shots before bed. Lucy was around more, but angry and always picking fights. She'd yell and cry for no reason, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

Lucy knew Jude couldn't pry himself away from the drink, like she couldn't pry herself away from the drug. John would drop by for a visit while Jude would shower, or when he would pass out in the middle of the night. Lucy would get her fix and be set, but when she didn't have her fix or Jude would hang around, she got so upset she couldn't handle it.

Everyone noticed that they were falling apart. But they noticed it more than anyone.

The day before Jude left for good, he was rubbing Lucy's back before bed. It had been a pretty good day, they hadn't bickered. She rolled over and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Why does he call you sweet?" Jude asked and after he did so he knew he shouldn't have. It had been building inside him for weeks and he just wanted to know.

Lucy stared into his eyes coldly and turned to face the wall.

"Jude…just drop it."

"I just wanted to know-"

"Jude…"

He stopped rubbing her back and rolled towards the opposite direction. It was the last time they would fall asleep next to each other.

Sweet

Lucy woke up hearing that word echo off the corners of her mind. It frightened her a bit and she swallowed hard. She looked around the apartment and saw no one, the lights from outside were the only way she could see anything at all. She heard the door close quietly and saw the outline of Max's shadow walk into the living room.

"Max…"

Max walked over and kneeled down in front of her. The light from outside caught the reflection of his eyes and his tear stained face. Lucy touched the places where his tears had been falling.

"Lucy…I…I can't do this." Max said between breaths.

"What happened why am I here?"

"I had to bring you home, you wouldn't stop screaming after the ambulance came and me and Jojo brought you home. You passed out on the way from screaming and crying. The doctor stopped and just said it was shock and to let you rest a bit."

"Max I want to go to the hospital, I want to see Jude."

"You can't…Luce."

"Max please.." her tone was getting louder.

"Lucy you have to understand something…Jude isn't good."

"What do you mean, he's fine, he's always fine, he woke up when Prudence lifted his head, I saw him!"

"Lucy….you don't understand, just lay back down I'll explain it to you when your strength fully comes back.

"No Max…please." Lucy gripped onto his shirt.

Max hesitated but saw the intent in her eyes. "He has head injuries from hitting the ground…and his leg…his leg is busted up from the car. But….his stomach…and his throat…" Max's head sank into his hands. "He's got some really bad bleeding internally, and…he has some kind of ulcers from drinking…the doctors said they caught them so late that they don't know how long it's going to take him to recover…and he's not talking. He won't even open his eyes. It's like a comatose state…it's awful"

Lucy started pulling at max's shirt harder. "Let me go see him…now!"

Max shook his head and tried to free his sister's hands from his shirt.

Lucy started getting upset and sobbing, her breath became quick and short. Max tried to get her to calm down but her eyes grew heavy and she sank back into the couch. Max tried to wake her up but her body gave up and she fell into another state of feint.

The last thing she remembered was the first time Jude called her love.