A/N Ah I apologize for the lines that I was using to separate past and present, not showing up. I'll try something different so no one gets confused! Much love for the reviews!

Sadie was tip toeing through the kitchen and trying to be quiet as she heated up some water. The noises of the day were already making their way into the open window of the apartment. The heat was settling in early and it wasn't even half past nine yet. She stared out from the balcony and looked at the street below, crowded and plagued by about 100 people rushing to work. She hadn't been up this early since before she started singing, it was kind of nice, but not something she wanted to get used to.

She was thrown from her day dreaming when the kettle started howling. She ran quickly but lightly into the kitchen trying not to wake Lucy up as she passed. She took the kettle off the stove and finished buttering some toast. She could catch Lucy moving around a bit out of the corner of her eye, and when she was finished getting stuff together, she took a plate and a mug of tea over to the couch and sat down next to Lucy. She rested a hand on her back and called her name quietly.

Lucy stirred in her sleep and felt the heat of the top floor apartment seep into her skin. She could smell tea and it almost sounded appealing to her. She fought to open her eyes and saw a blurry Sadie smiling calmly and gently down at her. Lucy's chapped lips formed a small smile, not anything to write home about.

She pulled herself up and felt her head throb. She rubbed her temples and took the warm mug from Sadie's hand. It was so hot and tea was the last thing she wanted on a summer day, but the smell of it made her feel so relaxed.

"It's good for headaches, Jojo drinks it all the time, some gypsy woman got him hooked on it after a show last fall."

Lucy felt the warm liquid slide down her throat. It wasn't all that bad, a little bitter, but it did make her feel soothed.

Sadie sat the plate down next to her and Lucy made a face. She was not at all hungry.

"Please eat darlin', you have gotta get something in your stomach."

"Uh…" Lucy moaned while pushing the plate away.

Sadie sighed and felt helpless. She hated seeing Lucy like this, all sick and disoriented, she figured she would have asked for a fix by now but it had been a few days.

"Where is Max?"

"He stayed at the hospital last night. Said he couldn't leave him there alone again."

Lucy looked at her feet and then mumbled low under her breath "I want to go see him."

Sadie let out a deep breath and fixed her gaze on the wall. Jude had been in the hospital for three days now, and the improvements that he had made, were only in the fact that he was breathing on his own and his leg would be okay after about six weeks and some therapy. As for himself, Jude wasn't really himself. The medicine the doctors were giving him for his ulcers were slowly helping them deteriorate but he still might have to undergo surgery. His esophagus lining was ripped from throwing up so much and he was going to have to cope with the pain of that for a while. But Jude didn't feel. His eyes never opened, and he never responded. He would move sometimes, his arms would slide from one position to another and his head would fall to the opposite side. Everyone always held their breath for him to just turn and look, but he didn't.

Lucy stared at Sadie who was lost in a moment and touched her arm.

"Sadie…I feel fine. Please, Jude was my boyfriend, my life, I don't understand why I wouldn't see him."

Sadie nodded, it wasn't like it was going to do him any harm, he wasn't even all there. She thought about Lucy though, frail and wearing thin, she was in detox and although she was speaking softly and caring, Sadie knew what could happen if something were to throw her off.

"Lucy…get cleaned up and I'll take you in."

Lucy threw her arms around Sadie and hugged her tightly. Sadie was startled and taken aback a bit, but she felt herself return the hug and it felt good to see Lucy smile.

Lucy walked towards the bathroom and Sadie stood up and picked up the dishes. She walked to the kitchen and looked around the empty apartment. She didn't like the loneliness coming through all the cracks. Jojo had been staying at the hospital when Max would go home and sleep and max did the same for Jojo, but they had stayed up there together the night before, and when Sadie would go up one of them would have to come home to be with Lucy. She missed having her "family" around. She shook her thoughts from her head and finished cleaning up while Lucy got ready.

Max sat quietly in the pale white room staring at the machines hooked up to his best friend. Sunlight peered through cracked blinds and shone directly into his piercing blue eyes that were now a bit gray. He kept watching the heart monitor, his rate would rise and fall and his breath would become slower and slower and just when max would think about calling the nurse it would go back up. He tapped his foot quickly on the ground and bit his lip.

He leaned forward and cracked his knuckles. "Jude…I think you should wake up today."

There was no answer from the lifeless, sleeping English boy with the witty remarks. Not even a flinch.

Max laughed, "Come on…I know you can hear me you sick bastard. Seriously though…you have got to get up."

Max grabbed his coffee and sipped on it. It was so bitter and growing cold, the creamer had gathered in one corner forming a large bubble and he winced while looking down into the cup.

He kept replaying the night in his mind. John running down the street and Jude lying there, bleeding to death, eyes on his sister, not able to speak.

"Lucy was there Jude, I know you saw her, and I know you heard her screaming."

Jude never moved an inch.

"Look man." Max's tone became aggravated. "I have sat here with you for days and you haven't done shit other than move your arms and your head. This isn't like you, you can stay up all hours of the night and run on no sleep. If you're faking this I swear to God I'll write you off."

Max's head fell onto his lap and he let out a sob. He felt a hand on his back and jumped up. Sadie was staring down at him with sorrow in her eyes.

"He just won't wake up Sadie."

Sadie rubbed his back and sighed. "Max…I think there is someone outside who needs a moment alone with him."

Max looked up at Sadie with confusion in his eyes.

"You brought her here?"

Sadie nodded. "I know we talked-"

"Are you out of your god damned mind?"

"Max-"

"She's been sober for three days, she's been sick and she's been having crazy mood swings, she gets so tired so easily…the first 48 hours is crucial and we just weaned her past that, I don't want this to throw her back into a funk and stress her out to where she needs it again!"

"Max she wouldn't take no for an answer, and it's her boyfriend!"

"Was…Sadie, was."

"They never broke up, he just left."

"I'm not going to argue with you about what they are or aren't or why, I just don't think this is smart."

Sadie looked at Jude and then back at Max. "You need to get out of here for a bit, and your sister, the love of Jude's life is going to come in here whether you like it or not."

Max searched for words, but instead pointed his finger at her face and shut his mouth. He bolted for the door and Sadie followed close behind.

Lucy heard the door open and she looked up. Max couldn't even look her in the eye.

"You know how I feel about this, and you." max continued to look past her.

Lucy nodded and looked down. Max pushed past her and Lucy looked up at Sadie.

"He's just having a real hard time with Jude and with seeing what you're going through."

Lucy nodded again and looked at the door.

"Go on in, I'll be out here if you need me."

Lucy hesitated before walking to the door. She didn't know what to expect but she didn't expect anything good. She pressed her hand against the cold wood and pushed. The room smelled like cleaner and it was so bright. She walked past the hanging blue curtain and heard the sound of a beeping heart monitor. She drew in her breath before looking down at the boy she once loved so much.

Jude's eyes were closed and he was pale, his brown curly hair was wisped around his face and his mouth was closed lightly.

Lucy sucked in deep and let out a brief sob between breaths. Jude never moved, never changed form, he just laid there.

Lucy touched his arm and drew back. He felt cold and clammy and not at all like Jude. Not like when they would wrap up in a blanket on the balcony and he'd draw her close and point out the changing street lights. She'd lean back against him and he'd breathe into her ear, sending chills up her spine. She wanted to remember him like that, not this.

She sat down in the chair across from the bed and barely got his name out before she started sobbing uncontrollably. She kept repeating why, over and over and clutched her cross necklace in her hands. She glanced up at him every now and again but he still hadn't changed.

She leaned her head down and tried to calm herself down. She wiped her eyes and let her breathing return to normal. She couldn't see him like this. She had hated him for the last month and seeing him, looking at him now, and seeing him at the club the other night, she realized she never didn't love him.

She began sobbing again and couldn't handle it. She needed to get out of there. She wanted to get out. She stood up feeling sick and helpless and rushed towards the door. She pulled it open and ran down the hall, pushing past Sadie and Max.

Max watched his sister run past him and it wasn't long after that he was going to. He caught up with her and pulled her back.

"LET ME GO!" She screamed getting stares from the patients and families waiting in the lobby.

"Lucy come on."

"MAX LET ME GO GOD DAMNIT!"

Sadie ran to Max's side and helped pull her towards the hospital doors.

"Damnit Sadie I knew this was a bad idea!" Max said trying to keep his sister from breaking free.

Lucy was kicking and screaming, and sobbing all at once. Sadie hailed a cab and Max stuffed himself along with her into it. He rolled the window down and looked at Sadie, "Stay with him, don't leave him alone…I'm taking Lucy home."

Sadie nodded and watched max struggle to buckle his sister in. She was throwing her hands and pleading with him to let her out. He motioned for the driver to leave and Sadie watched them pull away.

She walked back in and avoided all the stares and whispers. She walked slowly into Jude's room and sat down on the edge of his bed. She grabbed his hand like always and rubbed it gently.

"Hey Jude." she said gently while stroking his hand.

She felt a squeeze coming from the lifeless body and jumped.

"Jude…" she said barely above a whisper.

Blah kind of sucky I know, I'm a bit sick and out of it but I'll get some better chapters up.