A/N I'm feeling rather out of it so I apologize in advance for any errors, I'll try to keep a sharp eye and hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow for a longer update!

He had called her "mum."

Somewhere between scared and doubtful, Jude was hiding and not planning on coming out. Every time he would open his eyes he would see bright flashes of light, some smiles, some frowns, but he always heard loud booming voices that made him draw his eyes close again and he so badly wanted to cover his ears.

He recognized Max and Sadie but he could only focus on them for about 10 seconds before shutting his eyes again. The light was too much, and the noise, god would the noise stop.

The first time he had seen anyone, he saw an unhappy looking lady with her hair tied up. Her face was out of focus and she seemed to be looking down. He felt her soft hands and she smelled like home. The way she said his name, so gently yet so perfect, well it made him feel more at home than ever before, and he opened his mouth and whispered a very raspy, very drawn out "mum."

He vaguely remembered her telling him it was Sadie. She wasn't mean about it and she never laughed, she was calm and continued to rub his hand.

Sadie. He thought to himself. The singer, the "love child", the fire that kept burning into the wee hours of the morning. Yes he knew Sadie.

He was in and out of sleep all the time.. .fighting off his demons and his aches. His leg felt like something had torn it in two, and his head, that was another story. He wanted so badly to reach up where it was hurting and rub his temples, but he could barely get his arms up. His stomach was worse than he could ever remember. At times he would get enough energy to search his bed for his bottle of whiskey, but then after a few minutes of no luck, he remembered this wasn't his bed. This was a hospital room, he knew he was there and that was all he knew. The nurse had tried to explain that the shots would take away his pain, but in the middle of the night when morphine was wearing off, he could feel his gut yell out, and his head would scream back at him. He wanted a shot, but a shot of alcohol, he didn't like where he was, he didn't like that he couldn't move, he didn't like that he was alone.

His eyes were pierced shut tightly as he was trying to think why he was here. He couldn't open his mouth to get his words out and all anyone ever told him was, "you're going to be okay." He couldn't recall anything. Just the walk to the café, and that sorry excuse for life, John sitting next to Lucy.

Lucy. Her name came across his mind like a windstorm, bringing on a thousand and one different images, sounds, and feelings. Heartbreak, strife, love, pain, peacefulness, and then that aching in his gut. His eyes still closed, winced tightly down and began to water. He moved his hand up just enough to rest on his stomach and he felt like throwing up. The pain eased up after a few seconds and his eyes loosened.

He felt sad now, Lucy, why couldn't' he remember seeing her. For the brief few times a day he would open his eyes, he never saw the girl he had just seen in his mind. Maybe that was the only place she existed? But then why so many images of her? He saw the two of them walking, and laughing while sitting on a bed with orange covers. He saw himself brushing the hair from her face while feeling cold air rush around them both. He heard her laugh, so sweet and carefree, so simple. But then he saw her crying, her tear stained face buried deep in her hands, she was mumbling something but he didn't know what. When she moved her hands away, blood was pooling in them. His eyes tightened again and he felt so sorry for her, but so angry, too. His stomach began aching again, this time worse than last and he pushed his hand down tightly on top of his gut. A few more seconds of pain and it was gone, but his breath had been knocked from him and he felt dizzy.

His eyes loosened but this time he let them relax and slowly but surely open. The room was empty except for a figure sitting in the chair. The two slivers of eyes he had weren't great on focusing. Everything was blurry and faded. He blinked a few times, things would focus and then fade. He heard a cough coming from the image.

"Jude…"

Max. He knew that voice anywhere. The blonde boy with blue eyes and an even bluer soul. He felt the image of his friend grow close and he felt his hand on top of his.

"Don't fight to stay awake, just relax, and sleep, but know I'm here."

His hand felt so warm and he moved his fingers to try and hold onto it.

Max caught on to what Jude was doing and grabbed onto his hand, as though he wouldn't survive if he let go.

Jude's mouth opened and he caught his breath. His mouth was dry and his jaw felt stiff and heavy. He could see parts of Max's face clearly and he looked tired, and stiff. He hadn't shaved and he was in desperate need of sleep.

"My……stomach…." It felt like hours for him to get two words out. His lips felt like they were going to bleed from moving and being so chapped, and he was sure that his jaw was going to break at any moment.

"Is it bad?"

His mouth hung open searching deep for an answer wouldn't let him make one. He simply nodded and squeezed Max's hand with the little strength he could.

"I'll tell them…they'll get something for you."

He nodded and opened his mouth, fighting off his screaming muscles and chapped lips. "She……she's…..so sad." He let out a deep gasp after finishing.

Max looked down into his eyes, they were so deep dark brown and empty. He had no idea what Jude was even talking about, and he figured Jude didn't either. "Yeah so is everyone." He responded.

Jude shook his head lightly and felt himself grow angry. He squeezed Max's hand a little harder and looked up into his eyes or what he could see of them.

"No…..she's….broken."

He gave up. He felt too weak to keep his eyes open and they grew heavy and he let them close. His grip loosened and he felt the darkness coming over him. He didn't want to sleep again but it sounded so good. His sleep gave him no pain and no cravings, and no images of crying beautiful girls.

Max watched his friend drift off into a deep sleep.

"She is broken Jude, you are, too. And you're both the only things that can fix each other."

Max let go of his hand and ran his own through his greasy tangled hair. He needed a shower and a bed. If it wasn't him staying at the hospital and waiting to see his friend wake up for a few seconds, he was holding Lucy's head over the toilet and hearing her sob and scream. He stood up and walked towards the nurses station. The young red headed nurse with the kind smile looked at him sadly.

"Everything alright Mr. Carrigan?"

"Yea…look he's complaining about his stomach, the pain is bad, can you give him something?"

She nodded. "I'll send his nurse in there now. He's talking more today then?"

"Well more than hello and yes." He replied.

"And your sister…"

Max looked down. "She's still getting sick and screaming a lot. The doctor said it's a mix of detox and shock, and just a complete anxiety attack. She's breaking down."

The nurse looked up and offered a smile. "Well, if you need anything you know where to find me, and I wish you and your's the best of luck."

Max offered her a slight smile and walked towards the exit doors. The sky was overcast and grey, thunder rumbled off in the distance and the smell of rain was hanging overhead. He didn't want to go home but he couldn't leave her like this. He didn't know what to do, his life was coming undone and there was no one for him to turn to anymore. He sighed and cursed under his breath. "You have to be strong for them and keep it together man." He told himself. He was pulled from his thoughts when a boom of thunder rang closer, he looked up at the sky and then reached his hand out, and hailed a cab for home.