A/N Thanks to all! I'm still feeling quite down and I can't promise an update tomorrow if I'm still feeling all yuck. But I'll try.
Max rode home in the cold cab. The air was up too high and it was pouring down rain now. The thunder roared at him from behind and he turned around to see dark clouds building up in the sky. He shivered and watched as the cab fee rose higher. He sifted his pockets for his last remaining remnants of change and tossed them at the driver when he pulled up to the curb. He ran inside trying to cover himself from the rain and shook a bit when he stepped into the building.
He ascended the staircase rather slowly today. It was 3 in the afternoon but it felt more like 8 a.m. He was dragging his feet the whole way up the stairs. He could hear the floor boards creaking the higher he got, and knew Sadie would be pacing around waiting for some kind of feedback. He closed his hand around the doorknob and walked in.
Sadie looked up and stared at the dripping wet boy with the grey eyes.
"He's okay." Max said bluntly setting himself down at the table and resting his head on it.
Sadie didn't respond. She arched her eyebrows and walked over to the table, she sat down lightly and patted his head gently.
"He said his stomach hurt…and then he asked about her."
Sadie's eyes lit up like a wildfire and she stared at Max intently. "What?"
"He said she was sad, and then called her broken. He had to be talking about her."
"Did he say her name?"
"Not exactly but who else would it be? And she was sad the last time he saw her, and she IS broken."
Sadie gently smiled. "Max, that could be the drugs talking, or flickers of his mind referring to anyone, the doctors said-
"I know what they said Sadie." Max's voice was urgent and frustrating. "But I know who he is talking about, and I know it was about her."
Sadie sat back and let out a breath. Max focused back down at the table and his head felt heavy.
"You need some sleep." Sadie said changing the subject.
"I can't sleep with a recovering cocaine addict in the house."
"Max get off your high horse. No one gave you shit when you weren't talking, or eating, or making sense after Nam…you were freaked out and we understood, now understand this, your sister has an addiction, it's something that happens to people and it's a damn shame it happened to her, but it did. I don't know a lot about things but I do know that she's your damn sister and she needs you just as much as Jude does, if not more. She's battling with her demons, too."
Max looked up into Sadie's eyes, he had never seen her so passionate about anything other than music, and this was surely something that was a big deal…but he almost felt like Lucy didn't want to get better, and he wasn't going to help someone get better who didn't want it.
He nodded to Sadie and stood up. He walked shamelessly into his little sister's room and saw her looking out the window.
"It's thundering." she said low and in a very monotone voice.
"Yeah…"Max replied rubbing the back of his head. "It's pretty wicked out there, there's a big one rolling in."
Lucy turned around. Her face had no color and her eyes were sunken. It had been 9 days since she had a fix of any kind, and she didn't look more awful then she did right now. He could hardly bear to look at her.
"I hate storms…" she replied coldly.
"You used to sneak in my room and crawl in my bed, and you'd cuddle up so close. You'd be half crazy sounding, talking about how you were going to get struck by lightning. And I always read you a story under the covers with a flashlight." Max laughed a little and caught sight of a spark in Lucy's eye.
She nodded. "You made me feel safe."
"What about now?" Max asked worried.
She looked down, "I'm too ashamed to look at you, for you to see what I have become, I don't feel safe anywhere, and I haven't in months."
"Luce…I really think getting you in to talk to someone and maybe getting you on something is key here."
"Another addiction though? Even if it is prescribed."
"Addiction is a big word, and yes you have one…but you have got to do something, even if it's just talk to someone."
Lucy looked back towards the window as a roll of thunder hummed in the distance. She nodded and Max relaxed.
"Thank you." he responded as he walked over and embraced her in a hug.
It was the first 'real' hug she had felt from Max in a long time.
"How is he?" She asked quietly.
"He's in pain…"Max sighed letting his sister go.
"Did he say much today?"
Max hesitated and looked out the window, he didn't know if he should say anything to her. He opted for it though, maybe telling her would help.
"He said you were sad, and broken, well not you exactly he said 'she' but I don't know who else he would refer to since you are sad and broken."
Lucy's eyes lit up a bit and she felt like smiling but her mouth wouldn't move from the state it was in.
Max leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to make you some food, try and take it easy."
Lucy watched him walk out while she twirled her cross necklace around her fingers. He was so lonely all alone in that hospital bed, and he too was broken. She thought about John and how everything, all the messes and the tears seemed to stem back to him. She felt herself grow angry and her eyes widened. She tried to brush it off but she just kept thinking about him.
It was late and Max was still up searching for sleep. He could hear Jojo's guitar humming from the living room while the rain beat against the walls. Sadie's voice echoed off the walls alongside the thunder.
Never mentions the word addiction,
In certain company.
Yeah she'll tell you she's an orphan,
After you meet her family.
She paints her eyes as black as night now,
Pulls them shades down tight.
Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,
The pain's gonna make everything all right.
She says she talks to angels,
They call her out by name.
Oh she talks to angels,
Says they call her out by name.
Max sighed. The song was ripping him apart, and he was praying that Lucy wasn't hearing this. God he felt so sick and tired and lonely. There was nothing he could do for anyone. Jude wouldn't even remember he had been there, and Lucy, Lucy was so far gone.
It was getting later, Jojo's guitar grew silent but the thunder roared louder and louder, it was shaking the apartment and Max knew there was no chance he would be sleeping tonight.
His door opened slightly and he saw a light from the hall. He turned to see Lucy standing in the doorway, she looked so small and scared. She closed the door gently and walked over to the bed. She pulled back the covers and Max watched her with confusion.
"I don't want to be alone, and I'm scared."
Max watched her curl up next to him and he rolled over. He rubbed his sister's back gently and told her it would pass, she just needed to fall asleep.
"I'll tell you about how good Jude looked today until you fall asleep."
Lucy cuddled up next to him while she listened to Max tell her about his deep brown eyes and even though his voice was raspy it was still low and relaxed. She smiled to herself, the first smile that had crossed her lips in days. She just wanted him to smile back at her, and tell her how much he liked her laugh. She wanted to be able to stand next to him and feel safe, and feel like nothing else mattered in the world.
She closed her eyes and sank into a sleep while Max continued on.
Across town, the power was flickering and the generators at the hospital were beginning to turn on. A nurse walked in to Jude's room and saw him, his head turned slightly looking out at the rain.
"It's really coming down out there Jude, and what are you doing up."
"She….she hates thunder."
"Most people do." The nurse checked his iv and looked at him, she flicked the light on and walked to the other side of the bed, her eyes were squinting. On his lips was a little bit of blood. She drew back and looked startled. She heard him couch from low in his throat and paged the doctor.
"Jude, have you been coughing."
"My…stomach…." he moaned while continuing to look out the window.
"Jude I'm going to give you a shot, you're going to be tired after t, but when you wake up you shouldn't be in pain."
Jude raised his hand a little and felt it grow numb. The nurse sounded so worried, there was a tone in her voice. He watched the rain trickle down and his eyelids grew heavy until they were shut completely.