Perplexed
By: PikABoo.LOVE
Pairing: Sasuke/Sakura
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own the plot and well that's about it… The Songs are owned by the singers/bands, and you own the reviews.
A.N: Read And Review :) Or I will steal your Hot Pockets!
Advice: Friends and Family Always Come First.
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FAMILY
"You can't have them. They belong to someone else. To someone I loved. To someone I never forgot."
I began to tear up from that line Michael Hillyard said to Nancy. This was so good, I was on page 287 and I had one more page to read until it was finished. Sasuke was right it was a good book, now It was going to be my favorite book.
I read the last line.
"He nodded slightly, and held her tight as the surf roared in softly and the pale eastern sun peeked through the clouds. He understood."
It was so beautiful. How this man in this book understood what the girl was feeling. For so long they were apart, they went through so much it hurt to even read the lines. Sometimes I wished I could just meet Ekusas sooner.
We promised to meet each other when we finished High school, that as still 2 years away. But even so. To know that someone out there actually loved me for my personality and not for my looks really meant something.
I thought to myself for a moment.
Yes. That was true. Most guys generally go out with girls because they really pretty and they know they are somewhat all right to talk to. Most guys my age are driven by hormones alone, and they don't know what they are doing. It must really hurt if you really loved someone and they only broke up with someone because they found someone else.
I pulled my knees upwards and wrapped my arms around them. I let my chin rest on my knee caps and looked at my violet painted walls.
That was one of the reasons I never dated anyone. My mom said I should play the field to find someone who really liked me. But she also said to be careful, because a man could really hurt you.
That is the problem with being a female. We generally do not go out with guys for their looks, some do, but most don't. We go out with them because we actually like them. Im sure it would hurt more than anything to lose a strong bond with someone.
I shook my head and looked at my computer again.
Ekusas…
He was different, he seemed like a real idiot the first time I talked to him but when I really got to know him he turned out to be a real okay guy.
Kind of like Sasuke. I thought he was a real jerk for scaring me like that but when I started talking to him and a couple of friends of his. He seemed all right.
I began laughing; I remembered when he told me his brother was going to piss his pants from laughter when he told him how he gave me a concussion. He looked so embarrassed for knocking me out. I know he didn't mean to, but I am never going to let him forget what he did to me.
I stretched and lay down on my bed. I looked up at the ceiling. Life was starting to finally work out for me. I was beginning to make great new friends, I liked my room, I liked my schools, my two teachers I just met and how I was falling in love.
What a rush! I thought to myself quickly and pulled out my little black book once again. Time for another diary entry for my character, so far she had lost her two best friends and was all alone, her mom was getting very ill and high school was coming to an end for her. What to write…what to write.
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Dear Diary,
Mom is just getting worse, and worse each and every day. At these times I wish I could talk to my friend who is pregnant. She lost her dad, she would know what to say to me. But she doesn't talk to me anymore, she's to busy making out with the father of her child.
But I am worried about her. She is still my friend whether she likes it or not. She doesn't know how much she is actually hurting herself. What does she think of when the word baby is said?
Does she think it is just a game? Does she think its just a bulge in her stomach and it will go away eventually? No.
When I think of a baby I think a crying, screaming, cute, pooping thing that can either break a couple and bring them even closer. That is what a child really is. It is the glue in the bond.
It either works. Or doesn't.
I hope she makes the right choice about this baby before she makes a HUGE mistake. No 17 year old is ready to take care of a baby. Well, maybe a really rich 17 year old who has everything going for her and she has life already set herself. But definitely not my friend.
For goodness sake she wants to be a musician. I know there is nothing wrong with that choice, but it's one out of one million who ever get the chance she wants. She tells me countless times that she is the best there is. She is good, but not the best there is. There are better.
My other friend, she went off to college. She says I would only bring her down if we had contact. After 10 years she says that to me. How could she? That traitor. Life does suck.
But here is a few words to god.
Jesus, please answer my prayer. Make sure my friend who is pregnant is making the right choice. Or make sure she follows the right choice before its too late. I don't want her to live a life full of regret. The one who is in college, bless her soul. She has a talent like no other and I know she will be amazing at everything she does. And Lord, please help me in any way. Just watch me and keep me going until I finally break, I want to make some use of my self, before I pass away.
Amen.
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I took a deep breath and let all that out. The character in my book was really going through a tough time. I was gong to make sure Jesus would be there for her, and would guide her. There would be a happy ending, for her anyway.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on my pillow I dropped my little black book on the ground and drifted off into a heavy sleep.
'Everything gets better… eventually'
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The next morning I woke up and l rubbed my eyes as I rose. Wednesday. This was the day I hated out of all days. It was halfway through the week, and it always seemed to be the longest. Aside from Fridays…
I jumped up and jumped off the bed. I grabbed some bathroom stuff and went to the bathroom. To have a shower, and wash my hair. I turned the tap and as the water dropped I stripped off my pjs and jumped into the shower.
Finally…
This was one of my favorite parts of the day. Waking up in the morning to have a nice relaxing shower. If there was no such thing as a water bill I would stand in the shower forever. I grabbed my shampoo and squeezed the gel into the palm of my hand.
I rubbed it through my hair and foam was beginning to form. I started singing in the shower, very lame I know but it was a past time.
Time for the rinse! I let my face stare up at the ceiling as the water droplets fell on my head, I let my fingers run through my pink locks to help with getting rid of the shampoo. Once that was done, I threw some conditioner in my hair and rubbed it through my hair, this time my hair felt all stringy and weird.
I let the conditioner sit in my hair as I was washing my body with the body wash. I rinsed my hair and my body together and climbed out the shower. Turned off the water, wrapped a towel around my body and hair and walked back into my room.
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Once I was dressed and my hair was bone dry I went downstairs to see my mom sitting at the kitchen table with a laptop open in front of her.
"Mom?"
"Oh Heavens! Sakura!" She turned around and gave me a huge smile, stood up and hugged me. "Good morning angel face, how was your sleep?"
"Good mom. Why aren't you at work?"
"Oh they are fixing up my office for me, and said I should stay at home and work at home. Would you like a ride to school?"
"No thanks mom, I think ill manage. Have you eaten breakfast yet? I can make you some eggs and toast if you like."
She took her seat and sipped her cup of coffee and nodded.
"Would you like a new cup of coffee as well?" She nodded, saved her work and closed the laptop.
"We haven't talked for quite some time dear, what has happened at school? Any boyfriends?"
'Oh I hated when parents did that. Asking you if you had a boyfriend or not, was it like a rule to ask that kind of question to high school kids?"
"No mom. But I have made a couple of new friends who are awesome. And school is going just fine. Would you like scrambled?"
"Yes Please. That wonderful dear! Cherish your high school years, makes you feel young! University Is better but its nice to still be a teenager. Live you years my little angel"
"Yes mom." I finished making her egg and when the toast was finished it popped up and landed on her plate, I had mastered that technique. Took me years. I handed the plate to her with a new cup of hot coffee. She smiled and began eating.
"Mom you look not well, have you been skipping meals again?"
"Ummm…no…"
"Mom."
"Okay fine I have, but you wont believe the amount of work I have, and I need to have it finished."
"Mom if you leave work for a day, the office will not explode. You should at least eat something. Even a cookie if you must, but you shouldn't starve yourself."
She began laughing and brought me up into a hug. "Oh Sakura I love you so much. You are just wonderful, you are being the mother in this house when it should be me."
I smiled and hugged her back. This was my mom, she was very emotional but she did love me and I loved her too.
"Okay mom I have school! Please stop hugging me" She let me go and kissed my forehead. She placed a 10 dollar bill in the palm of my hand.
"We need some milk."
"I bought a new bag yesterday mom."
"Oh so you did go to the grocery store! Thank you so much sweet pea! For that how about you go and get a movie for the two of us. Tonight we can watch a movie with popcorn and everything! What do you say?"
"That sounds great mom. Romantic, Action, or comedy?"
"Romantic! I need a good cry and squeal"
"Okay Romantic it is, ill be home at 3:30. And please eat something mom!" I hugged her once more, took the money and left for school.
I opened the house door again and walked in.
"What's wrong honey?"
"Forgot my bag" I grinned at my stupidity as she started laughing and I ran back out with my backpack this time.
---
I got to school on time and I had chemistry and English. One class with Sasuke and I think I had Ino for the second. Yes I had a friend for three classes. Art class I did not see anyone I knew, but im sure I would make one friend.
I looked around but couldn't find Sasuke. I shrugged and planned to ask the office this time for directions. I walked through the hallways to the office and passed that map again.
DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?
(We don't either. Good Luck)
I growled at the sign and gave it a good fist and spat my tongue out at it. It wasn't going to get to me this time. Nu-uh.
As I turned around I bumped into something. Oww a bump on my forehead to go with the bump in the back of my head, I looked up and it was his highness himself. Sasuke.
"Ouch that must hurt. Sorry again."
"Ow, yes it does hurt. What is your chest made out of steel?" I rubbed my forehead and I could feel the bump beginning to form. Lovely.
"Nope, just muscle."
"Well I officially hate your chest now."
He patted his chest and glared at me. "Don't worry chesty, she didn't mean that!" he began laughing as I looked at him awkwardly.
creepy…
"I was just pulling your tail Sakura. So you lost again I see."
"Yes. Where is our Chemistry class? This Map is of no help." I pointed at the map and glared at it and gave it one more spit of the tongue. Stupid map.
He looked at it for a moment and chuckled.
"Your such a n00b."
"Am not!"
"Okay Fine. Your Such a spaz." He waited. "Grapefruit."
"Your so mean!"
"I am not mean. I am just teasing you." He smirked. Damnit I hated when he did that, he looked so good when he did that.
"So am I ever going to get the Chemistry class or are we going to stand here like ducks?"
"Yeah right, lets go." He turned me around and pushed me foreword with his hands on my shoulders.
"Oh yeah Sasuke I finished the book you gave me!" I pulled it out from my backpack and he was still pushing me along.
"Really? Was it good?"
"It was amazing! Im going to buy a copy for myself! Oh and Sasuke, this fell out from inside it." I pulled out the piece of paper from the back.
"Oh that. I wondered where I put that." He took it from my hand and read it over. "Yes this is it. Thanks Grapefruit!"
"What is it?"
"Well im sure you must know by now that I am indeed in love with someone who is not in this school, well this is a few song lyrics I made for her. I was thinking of making a song for her when I meet her."
"Meet her?"
"Yeah. There's a long story behind it but basically it's the same case as you, I talk to them but do not know their name. I should really find out."
"Well she is really lucky. When she See's you she's going to be so surprised! I just know it!"
I smiled at him and I could feel the blush coming across my cheeks, Damnit he's getting to me. But he still doesn't make me feel the way Ekusas does. No one does. He smirked and pushed me into the elevator.
"You think so? Well I hope so, I really like her and when I meet her and make my choice if I really love her or not, then I will think about a life time with her."
"Aww Sasuke! That's so sweet! Well for you I will pray that she is the perfect one for you!" I smiled and couldn't help but squeal it was so cute how Sasuke was so up front with me about his feelings for this girl, I hope Ekusas was as adorable as Sasuke.
Sasuke pressed the 3rd floor button and the elevator rose. It was silence on the way up and when the door opened he stepped out with me.
"So what was your favorite part of the book? I loved in the beginning how they made a promise to stay together. It really showed how much he loved her."
"Oh that was so cute! I loved at the end when she was trying to find those beads and he had them and told her that they were for someone he loved. And then she realized he knew, who she really was. That was just incredible!"
"Yes. My mom gave me this book when I was 5 years old and told me to read this book when I was in love with someone. I read it over the summer and now I really think I know what love is."
My eyes widened when he said that word.
'L.O.V.E'
"Sasuke."
"Yeah?"
"Can you tell me what love means to you? I mean I have to do an art project on Love but I don't think I really know what it means, or the feelings when you are in love. Can you tell me what you are feeling now?"
"Oh. Sure"
He thought about it for a moment, I couldn't believe how Sasuke was actually thinking. I guess love was a very difficult topic.
"Its so confusing. One moment you just think of this person as a friend, then a good friend, best and then you realize how amazing they really are. You eventually want to know everything about them, what their likes and dislikes are and everything. It's just. Amazing you are so confused…and you like it."
I tried to let all of this register in my mind.
"The hardest thing is actually to tell the person you love them. I mean I haven't even told her that I love her yet. But I want to. I really want to."
"Well then why don't you?"
"You know…I think I will"
"Really? Sasuke that would be so awesome! But I think you should tell her face to face."
"I will. Ill let this first sink in, and when the time is right ill get a plane ticket and visit her. And tell her."
I smiled and was so excited, I was so happy for Sasuke. He was actually going to let this lucky girl know he loved her. A lot. I hope Ekusas would tell me that one-day. That he loved me. I loved him, and I was sure he loved me too, but I want him to tell me that.
"You should Sasuke! You really should!"
He nodded and smirked. "Thanks Sakura. I think you are the only person I can really talk to about this girl. You and I are in the same situation."
"Yes Love is a crazy thing. We are going to be the best of friends Sasuke!"
"For sure" When he said that we arrived at chemistry class. I led me through the door and there was the team. But there someone else there this time. A boy with a pale color of eyes, He had long black hair in a loose pony tail and a scowl that could wake the dead. He freaked me out.
"Yo teme! Neji is in our class! We wont fail!"
"No. You wont fail, I cant fail this class remember I got the highest marks in the class last year."
"Showoff"
"Idiot"
"Smartass!"
"Dumb ass"
I took a seat next to Ino at the end of the long row of tables.
"Hey Sakura! This is Neji! He is the genius of the group. Aside from Shikamaru, who only works when he feels like it."
"Neh. Im going to pass high school so why should I bother, high school is for babies I should have taken up that offer in the fourth grade to skip 5 grades. I just should have."
"Oh stop whining. You have us and that is all that matters. Friends and Family always come first!"
"Oh so true"
I watched them bicker and looked up at the front of the class. There was a list of pages and questions and below was written.
"Well Done. You read the board! Complete these questions! And once your done you can tell your friends what is up on the board! – Mr. Kyo"
'how nice' I took out my chemistry text book and began working on the questions. I wrote a long paragraph for each question's answer and was done in half an hour. I coughed and closed my book.
"umm guys. Read what Is on the board."
They all turned their attention towards the bored and groaned.
"Mr. Kyo is so mean! Sakura did you finish those questions already?"
"Yeah." I said very embarrassed, I should have told them from the very beginning.
"Im done." Sasuke stood up and put his sheet of paper on the teacher's desk and took a seat. "Don't be sad Sakura. They are the ones who were bickering and did not look at the board, it is not your fault"
I nodded and began reading my answers over and when I finished I placed the sheet of paper on the desk and took a seat. I looked outside the window to my left and watched how the flag was flying with the wind.
Sasuke was so nice to me.
Why?
---
It was English class with Ino. We walked into the class and our teacher was sitting up at the front reading a book. When the class was settled the moved the book and placed it beside her.
"My name is Shizune. Or Shizune-sensei if there are losers in the class who want to be all polite." She pointed to the board and I read it.
'Write an essay on a something that has happened in your life. And let it be interesting and truthful, not you were the first Asian on mars'
I laughed at what she wrote and she got her stick and waved it around.
"Class. This essay is should be complete at the end of the fan fiction."
"What?" The entire class was confused at what she said.
"Oh right. Forget what I said! I mean this essay is done by the end Of May. Yes you have basically the entire year to write this essay. It better be long and amazing. I want to cry, scream, stomp, laugh and even hit someone from all the emotion in your essay. If you would like you can write it in a story form as well."
A student in the class raised her hand and she pointed to her with her magic stick.
"Yes."
"Will it be marked?"
"Will it be marked? OF COURSE!!!! I am the fastest reader you will ever meet I will have all your essays marked and read in 3 days. I have 4 classes and each class has 40 kids. That is 160 kids in total. If each kid writes a 20 paged essay each that is 3200 pages I have to read. (I think that is the right answer. I did it off the top of my head.) And Mark. I can get that done in 3 days.
'She is so weird…'
"All right! Now get out of my class! I don't want to see you until Thursday!"
We all nodded and rushed out of the class. She was a freaky teacher I could tell you that much.
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I grabbed my things and bolted out of the school. I wanted to watch a movie with my mom and I wanted it to be a good movie.
I went to the local movie renting store and walked in. I looked around and found the perfect movie.
"The Guardian"
It looked promising. I went to the front and grabbed a bag of microwaveable popcorn for my mom and I. I purchased the movie and walked back home. I opened the door and walked inside and saw my mom finishing off her work. I smiled and was glad, she had a bag of grapes beside the lap top and saw her grab a few every few seconds.
"Hi mom"
She jumped up startled by my voice but came around and hugged me.
"Hello Sakura! How was school?"
"It was awesome, I loved chemistry, my English teacher is a bit of a weirdo but she is still really nice."
"That wonderful! Did you get us a movie to watch?"
"Yes!" I grabbed the movie and the popcorn bag and handed them to her.
"The Guardian? Oh that does sound good! And butter popcorn! You know my weakness Sakura." She laughed and plopped herself down on the couch. "I got us a pizza because I thought we could slack off tonight"
"All right a pizza I don't mind." I took three pieces and placed them on my plate, they were still hot so I could just eat them. I put the DVD into the DVD player and sat next to my mom. As the movie began to play she pulled out a box of tissues, she was prepared for anything.
So we sat there for the entire movie. We eventually fell asleep while watching the news at who knows what time.
But overall, I had a great time with my mom. Ino was right for one thing, the advice she told Shikamaru.
Friends and Family always come first.
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Read & Review.
Next Update. 12/24/07 or sooner.
xXx
Perplexed – End