Chapter Two: The Separate Lives
It was a late Sunday afternoon, or at least it was when the gorgeous blonde haired, blue eyed girl started out. She had been sitting outside at a small café for a few hours, her long, thin frame slouched over a cool drink and her legs stretched out in front of her. Now as she sat scribbling away in an old leather bound journal, the warm setting sun of pinks, oranges, yellows and even magentas mixed together to create one of the most beautiful sunsets there ever was. The wind softly blew some of her hair around in her eyes, so that she was forced to pause mid sentence to move them aside. It was as if mother nature was trying to tell her to look up and enjoy this moment. And so she did. Pushing the stray strands of hair behind her ears, she looked up and took in a deep breath. It was absolutely beautiful, amazing really. And as she sat there and stared at it she couldn't help but think that although it was the same sun, the one that warmed not only here but Newport as well, it seemed so different in Formello.
She looked around herself and set her pen down in the journal to hold her place, closing it for a brief second, to really take in the setting. She sat back in her chair, closing her eyes for a moment and letting the sun heat her freckled face. She had lived here for the last three years. And although the majority of her life she had resided in Newport, this is where she would now consider her home She was much more comfortable here, knowing that at least she remembered all of it.
Still in the silence of the setting sun, for a moment Marissa squinted her closed eyes even harder. Someone passing by would just think that she was straining due to the brightness of the rays. But that wasn't the case at all. Instead, she was trying once again, just like she did multiple times ever day for the past three years, to remember what her last few years in Newport were like. Any time she had a lull in a conversation, was taking a break from her studies, or just wasn't thinking about anything else, she thought of that. It was constantly hanging over her, almost as if she couldn't function properly without figuring it out. The first year after she awoke, she spent most of her time in therapy upon therapy sessions, trying to figure out just what the cause of her memory loss was. According to Julie, the doctors here were the best of the best, but even they couldn't make sense of it all. So sooner or later they were labeling her a lost cause. But although the doctors had long given up on figuring it out, Marissa spent at least a little bit of each day still trying on her own.
And this time, just like every other time, her mind was blank, and she grew frustrated once again. The only thing she could remember was her life up until right before her sophomore year at Harbor. So what was she like for the rest of her time there? Her mother informed her that she had graduated from Harbor with flying colors, was still social chair, and had her life pretty well put together. But what she didn't understand was what had gotten her that far? Because that day, the last that she remembered, when she took all those pills in Mexico was that she wasn't sure she could live on. She would have done anything to forget the pain. She felt so lost then, and in her eyes, she had no one. So she knew that there were many events that led up the accident, to make her the person that she was now, but she just couldn't remember them. Something just didn't seem right.
She sighed in utter irritation. No matter how much time has passed, Marissa still couldn't get over that three years of her life were taken from her. Why couldn't she remember? The doctors told her that there was a reason she was blocking it out. But Julie had told her as much as she knew, and out of all the events that happened in those years that were lost she couldn't think of any reason why she would selectively not remember them. Still at the same time, her doctors instructed her to focus on her life now. Even if she can't remember it, her past was her past, and what was important was her future. What better reason to move on, then the fact that you can't remember the past? Julie even joked that sometimes she wished she could forget her past. Marissa didn't find the joke very humorous.
She finally reopened her eyes, and after her pupils adjusted to the brightness of the sun, they focused on a group of young men across the street. It was a very familiar scene to her. It seemed that as the summer sun was going down in Formello, was the time when many of the people her age emerged. The group that she was watching seemed so content. They were simply shooting the breeze and catching up on the previous nights adventures. A couple of them were on their mopeds, parked on the side of the street, while the other two emerged from their houses. She saw as the group laughed and smiled at a joke that was just made. Though they were speaking in Italian, and Marissa only caught a few things here and there, their laughter was contagious and it made her smile.
This was one of her favorite spots and she came there almost on a daily basis. Because of this, she knew all of the men by name now, and even created a bit of a friendship with a couple of them. This in itself was comforting; she knew she had developed a life in Italy. But she knew it just wasn't the same. Even though they had easily befriended the 'American Girl' and made her feel very welcome it couldn't compare to what they had with each other. This group of guys had known each other all their lives. Three of the five attended university, one of them up in the northern part of the country, the other two right near by in Rome. While the other two opted not to attend University at all;, choosing to start their lives right out by working. And though they all decided to go their separate ways, and the difference among them was quite evident, they still shared a common link, a true friendship. To Marissa, it was obvious that the group remained very close. She longed for something like that, a group that just knew her so well, no matter how far apart they were, they would still be the 'group'. But she knew deep down, the chances of that were not possible anymore, and she had to come to terms that it was something she knew she could never have. How could she be close to people she couldn't even remember?
She sighed softly and moved her attention back to her journal. She opened it back up and continued writing…
"…so back to the dream. It's weird, I really haven't had one of them for awhile now. At least not for the past few months or so. But suddenly, out of the blue last night I had one again. This one was just the same as all the others. I was in a white truck. But this time instead of driving it, I was sitting in the passenger side. Every time I have the dream something changes in it slightly, and yet the outcome is still the same… a crash. I can't help but think that it was real…I mean it feels so real, and I know that its real but it's nothing like the way Mom explained it to me. As I looked over to see who was driving, I would expect to have seen Summer, or maybe even Holly or Luke, but none of them were there. Instead, I looked over and saw that kid Ryan. I remember smiling to him, as if he was the one that had always been there all along. I don't really remember why I was talking to him, or where we were driving. But it felt good, as if we really knew each other. Even though I was scared out of my mind, when I looked to him and saw his shining blue eyes staring back into mine I had this sense of comfort. It's weird when you dream of people you aren't really even close to. I mean, why would Ryan, someone I haven't really spoken to in six years, make an appearance in my dream? Maybe it was because the last thing my mind seems to recollect is TJ, and he was there. And just like all the others, the dream seemed so real. Maybe my brain is just making things up now, you know fake memories in hopes of finding a real one. I know its mixing reality with some warped version that my head has made up. I just wish I knew why I was drinking and driving that night. What was I escaping from this time? Maybe if I knew, then I could remember some of the other things as well. But I can't ask her, the only person that might know. And we all know why. Was I always such a mess? I know mom says she is telling me all she knows, but something still seems off. Especially the part about Summer sleeping with my boyfriend… I think she is keeping something from me… "
Just as Marissa was going to dive into more of her thoughts she was interrupted by the ring of her cell phone. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it read "Julie". Speak of the devil, she thought and shook her head as she flipped her cell phone open.
"You're late." Marissa stated and looked at her wrist for her watch. It wasn't in a negative tone really, it was almost as if it were expected, but she still was annoyed.
"I know sweetie, I'm still in the city. Joseppi and I just spent the most amazing time by the Trevi Fountain. You know, there is a reason why they use that scene in so many romantic movies, its enchanting…" Julie spoke in a very satisfied tone. To her, everything had fallen into place, and there was no reason not to be happy.
But before she could continue, Marissa cut her off. "Mom, can't you tell me all about it when you get here? I'm starving."
Julie frowned slightly, thinking to herself. Even though her daughter didn't remember all they had been through in those three years that drove them apart, she still seemed to have some sort of attitude towards her like she had. But she couldn't possible remember, if she did she wouldn't be talking to her now.
"Well actually sweetie that is what I was going to talk to you about." She started. "I bumped into Bray this morning at the restaurant. He said something about meeting you for dinner around 8:00, and to not rush home."
Julie paused for a moment, waiting to hear a reaction from Marissa. But when she didn't, it was her chance to continue on. " Marissa I really like this one, I do hope you don't mess it up with him."
"MOM!" Marissa grew even more agitated. "How could I possibly mess it up with him?" She took a deep breath, and although she was frustrated with her mom for trying to run her love life, she couldn't help but grin and get excited at the thought of seeing Bray.
Julie laughed lightly, Marissa did have a point, if there was one thing that Julie was sure of, it was Bray's infatuation with her daughter. "Ok, ok honey, well I might just stay with Joe tonight, so feel free to have Bray sleep over. I will see you in the morning. Don't forget…."
Marissa couldn't help but blush slightly at the comment her mom made about Bray staying over. And just then, as if on cue she looked up to see the tall, light brown haired boy, with a body that would make any girl look twice, approach her. As he shaded her from the sun, she could see his gorgeous, well defined facial structure. He had these dark brown eyes that she seemed to always get lost in. But the strong arms that he had would always 'find her.' And his lips… with that slightly crooked smile made her melt each time. But he wasn't overly built, more of a swimmer physique, which was just right for Marissa's slender frame.
She smiled to him, and held up her finger to let him know to wait just one moment. "I know, we have a doctor's appointment in the morning." Marissa interrupted. "Surprisingly I can't forget about them."
Julie sat on the other end of the line, feeling guilty for just a brief moment. She knew how hard it was for Marissa to not be able to remember her past. But Julie knew that it was for her own good. And so the guilt quickly faded as she again justified her actions in her head.
Marissa began to smile as Bray rolled his eyes a bit and she had to look away so she could finish her conversation with her mom without laughing. As she did Bray stood there, folding his arms across his chest with a playfully smirk on his full lips. Watching his girlfriend, he was completely in awe of her beauty as the sun started to fade behind the horizon, casting an angelic shadow on her face. "Ok Mom, I have to go." She tried to cut her off from her now apparent ramblings. And with that she hung up the phone.
"Good evening love, you look terrific." Spoken with a thick English accent he greeted her. And without waiting for Marissa to stand to welcome him, Bray leaned down, kissing both sides of her cheek and then finally her lips.
Marissa only smiled, returning his affection by closing her eyes and returning the kiss softly. As she pulled back she smiled widely and stood to embrace him tightly. "Buonasera."
On the other side of the Atlantic things didn't quite paint as pretty of a picture as they did in Formello. In fact, by the look upon Seth Cohen's face one would think that the Nana had passed away or something. Usually the brooding was left to Ryan, but this time his brother seemed to have him easily beat. And although it was only about 2 in the afternoon, it seemed to be much later. The skies were cloud covered and grey, and the silence in the room was eerie.
He sat there on the edge of the queen sized bed that he shared with his girlfriend, and watched as things were strewn across the room in attempts for Summer to organize them. Three very oversized suite cases were open and lay upon the bed next to Seth, and he ran his finger back and forth across the side of the smaller one.
Finally he broke the silence. "I really don't know why you would rather spend your summer in boring Europe, when you could be living up your last real vacation with the likes of your very sexy, extremely talented boyfriend." Seth tried once more to talk Summer out of leaving.
But when Summer Robert's had her mind made up, she was really not one to argue with. No matter how much Seth pleaded with her to 'not leave him behind for two entire months,' Summer knew what she had to do. It was what she had wanted to do for the last three years.
From in the closet, Summer could be heard shouting. "It's not our last vacation Cohen. Stop being such a drama queen."
Just then you could see a piece of clothing fly out of the closet and Summer continued to speak. "We'll have Chrismukkah break, AND spring break, not to mention all of our long weekends. Besides we all know that even after I graduate you'll find some way to drag me to some comic book convention or something."
Although it was unseen by Summer, Seth rolled his eyes and flopped down onto the bed, staring at the familiar patterns the ceiling made. "But why do you have to go there Summer? Why not just Tijuana or even San Francisco to see Ryan?" He pouted. "I don't think either of us can go two entire months without a lil something something from our lovin lovins."
His attempts at humor didn't crack Summer, and she emerged from the closet with the last handful of clothes to pack.
"Cohen!" She ran over, and threw her clothes on top of one of the bags. "Stop putting your grubby paws all over my new Louis Vuitton cruiser bag. You just had pizza!" With that she leaned over and swatted his hand away that had been tracing the side of the bag.
Once her bag was free of icky Cohen germs, she resumed packing and spoke with conviction. "First of all, eeeew. TJ was so high school, I think we both know that I am much to mature to party with the roughyings. What kind of vacation is that anyway?"
Seth turned his head to watch his girlfriend, and opened his mouth to speak a rebuttal. But all he got out was a 'bu' before Summer continued on. "And secondly we can visit San Francisco any time we want, Ryan lives there. This is a chance of a lifetime Cohen."
Seth just shook his head and laughed. "Chance of a lifetime Summer? Your dad has been taking you to Europe since you were eight years old. I still remember the first time you set foot on the Champs Elysees. You talked about it at recess for like a WEEK." He was exasperated, and he knew the real reason why she was going, she just wouldn't admit it. "And you brought a beret back for show and tell."
Summer paused in putting her last pair of shoes in the side pocket and thought about what he had just said as if trying to remember the moment he was talking about. "Cohen that was the second grade!" She laughed and moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. "I remember crying when Luke stole that stupid hat from me and played with it like a Frisbee. It got stuck in a tree and Marissa and I were too scared to climb it to get it."
Seth sat up next to his girlfriend, and sheepishly rubbed his legs. "It was a tough tree to climb…" He began. "After you all went to play on the jungle gym, I tried to go get it for you. You know to impress you with my tree climbing skills. But when I got about half way, one of the branches gave way, and I fell."
Summer's eyes grew wide at the thought of a young lanky Seth frying through the air. She tried to hold in her laughter and Seth continued the story. "Lucky for me, there were a lot of branches to break my fall. I should know, I hit every one on the way down." He looked away in shame. "I had to leave school early that day, but I don't think that anyone noticed."
Summer's eyes softened, which Seth never saw because he looked away. Part of her felt awful for the life Seth led before she knew him. But at the same time as she saw her boyfriend's vulnerability she had take the opportunity to poke fun. "We had recess together?"
Seth turned to her, a mock gasp escaping his lips and he held his hand to his heart. "Way to twist the knife Summer!"
Summer just laughed, leaned over to kiss him lightly on the cheek, and then got up to continue packing. "We are going to be fine Seth. Besides we have been inseparable for the last … well it's going on a decade now. You already got the chance to sail away. In fact you even shacked up with Luke for an entire summer. So now it's my turn to spread my wings and be on my own for awhile. It's the last chance I've got; after this year I'll be going to Med School, and…"
Seth interrupted and spoke above her words. "And by 'spread your wings', you mean lots of shopping and drinking espresso, and NOT shacking up with any guy named Luke… or Jacque, or Antoine right?"
Summer laughed, realizing just how insecure Seth could really be. She knew that this would be the first time they were really apart in a very long time, and she couldn't help but think it might just be good for them. "Well at least it's not some Vegas prostitute or Southern Belle who wants the whipped cream licked off her body!"
"Touché." Was all Seth could mumble, and he realized that he really didn't have much room to talk. With as many times as he had messed up, he couldn't complain even if she did. This worried him, because god he hoped she wouldn't decide to pay him back for all those times.
"Shouldn't you be packing anyway? This room is a mess, and your plane for Newport leaves in just a few hours." Summer said as she put all her weight down on one of her overstuffed bags, attempting to zip it up.
"No, there really isn't much to pack. Captain Oats needs to be sedated for the flight, he gets all uptight and skittery when we fly. But other than him, I'll just cram some stuff in the ONE bag you left me. Besides, if I forget anything I'll just make Mom and Dad go buy me some more." Seth stated simply.
He and Summer shared an apartment year round in Rhode Island, which housed most of their things. But they still had their rooms back in their respective parents' houses, full of enough stuff for a second home.
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I almost forgot her!" Summer ran over to the nightstand where Princess Sparkles and Captain Oats sat side by side. "She would have never forgiven me, if I left her for the entire summer with just you and Oats to take care of her." She played with her hair a bit, and then placed her gently in the other side pocket of her carry on, leaving her head peaked out to breathe.
"Well Cohen, I think that's it. Are you ready to drive me to the airport?" Summer asked as Seth groaned.
He couldn't take it anymore, he bounced out of bed like he was just challenged to a fierce ninja game on the PS2, and grabbed Summer by the shoulders. "Summer you aren't going to find her ok!"
Summer looked at him, pretending to be puzzled. She knew that Seth was smart, and he would figure out what her real purpose was in going to Europe. Still with her rambles about having to live on her own for a change, explore the world, shop until she dropped…you know everything she dreamed about before taking the plunge into the real word, she thought would be convincing enough. Still, the uneasy tension of him knowing was always there, the just had never actually talked about it.
"You don't know that Seth." She began, trying to pull away, and grab her things, but Seth was being pretty persistent and held on tightly to her.
"Even if you do Summer, she won't remember you… she doesn't remember anything. Julie said that…" He was trying desperately to convince her, and this time, although it was extremely rare, it was not for selfish reasons. He didn't want Summer to travel half way across the world just to find that her best friend didn't remember her. It would break her heart.
But again, Summer interrupted. "She's lying!" She bursted out, but then realized what she had done. She continued on, but her speech must softer. "Look Cohen, I have done all the research. Even if Marissa does have complete amnesia, the way for her to get better is NOT to be in a foreign surrounding. She needs to be surrounded by the people who love her, and who will help trigger her memories."
Seth shook his head, knowing that for the last three years, there was a reason why Summer got so into the art of medicine. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his flat chest.
"I just think that Julie is holding her there captive. And if I find her, she … she just might remember me. Maybe I'll spark something in her and I'l… I'll have my best friend back." A small solitaire tear blinked out of Summer's eye, and Seth's heart broke.
"Summer…" he reached up to wipe the tear away with his thumb and comfort her. "Julie has done a lot of bad things in the past, but do you really think that she would want to keep her daughter from remembering her past?" And without Summer even answering his question, Seth realized that Julie Cooper was very capable of something like that.
"I still don't think that you should go Summer, you don't even know where she is. And Europe is a big continent."
"I know she is in Italy Cohen." She looked up to him, the determinedness shown in her eyes. The puzzled look upon his face made Summer explain further. "I've snooped around in your father's den, and I found a letter from Julie… it was post marked from Italy ….she took her to Italy."
Seth just wasn't sure what to say anymore. He knew that no matter what she said, she would have an excuse for it. And though he didn't want her to go, deep down he couldn't help but hope she was right; maybe she would find her, and things would work out. He couldn't blame her for being so affected by it all, let alone so determined in fixing the situation. In fact she handled it much better than Seth would have. It was too easy to be reminded about how he took off on a boat when Ryan left for Chino. And that was only an hour away, it was nothing like this.
"Well look at you. My girlfriend is just your regular Nancy Drew." He tried to lighten the topic slightly, so that it would bring a smile to her face. He rubbed her shoulders and smiled softly. He took a deep breath, and finally realized that she needed to do this.
Finally giving in he spoke. "Ok Summer, I understand why you want to… no, have to go. But maybe I should go with you? I mean Italy is still a big country, and I just happened to win the 'Compass Award' in my boy scout troop."
"Cohen, you were fifteen, and it was maze for nine year olds." She laughed and lay her head in his chest, while wrapping her arms around him. "Besides I'll be fine, and I want to face Julie Cooper by myself."
As the two stood there hugging, a thought came to Seth's head. "This so could be my next story line in Atomic County." His voice suddenly changes to what he called his announcer voice. "Will Little Miss Vixen be able to save Cosmogirl from the spell her evil mother has put on her? She faces her toughest battle yet… the fight against …against… Ice Ruby? The Bomb Shell Adulteress? Cosmo Woman? … no the Fire Mistress! Damn I'm losing my touch…"
Just then Seth could feel a hard whack against the back of his head and he looked to see that an angry Summer had just hit him. "OUCH Summer!"
Summer just shook her head and rolled her eyes, the sweet moment now ruined. "You are NOT going to use our personal lives for your stupid comic book Cohen."
"Graphic novel." He corrected in a soft whisper while rubbing the back of his head in pain. Luckily Summer didn't know, but he already had the sketches started for Cosmogirl losing her memory.
Just then Summer took one last deep breath and her rage blackout was shortened. "I'm going to miss you and your Coheny ways Cohen." And before Seth could complain about his headache or for her bipolar emotions, it was quickly forgotten when Summer pressed her small body against his. He wrapped his arms around her once more, and they hugged tightly.
"It will only be a couple of months Summer… and you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder." Now instead of fighting with her, he attempted to comfort her. And yet, he wasn't quite sure how, seeing how he knew that he was feeling like he couldn't go two months without her. "And besides, I have always wanted to try the whole phone sex thing."
Summer leaned back and gave him a glare worthy of Ryan, and he backed off with an uncomfortable laugh. "Right, one rage black out is enough for this hour…man Ryan would be so proud of you."
He hugged her once more, trying to savor their last moments together, and Summer spoke one more time. "Don't tell him ok?"
"What that your glares are getting scarier than his?"
Summer laughed. "No, that I'm going to try to find Marissa… I just don't want to get his hopes up. You know, what if I don't find her, or worse, what if…." She stops mid sentence, not even wanting to voice the idea that she was wrong, and Marissa would never know them again.
Seth sensed how uncomfortable she was and just held her tighter. "Don't worry, I won't tell him. Now let's get you to the airport before you miss your flight."