Disclaimer: I don't own Bones…just this story.
Author's Note: Okay, well…this is a replacement for chapter three, which was absolutely terrible. Hope this turns out a bit better! I might re-write the scene at the café, or I may have Booth tell Bones in a different way. Check back and see! Oh, and review. Thanks! Oh, and PS: Any opinions included in this chapter, or the story regarding the Iraq war, or war in general, are Booth's and Booth's alone. I may share these believe, or I may not. I don't want it to turn into a political debate.
"Agent Booth, you will be leaving the FBI."
I gasped, inwardly, toying with the material of my pants, nervously. This announcement, spoken in such a clear, strict tone left no room for complaints, or anger. That was why I needed to collect myself, think before I spoke. The room was silent, and it was strange and unsettling. An explanation should have followed such a declaration. A shiver ran up my spine, and I realized I might be receiving some sort of test. My blood was boiling from shock, and fury, but this was not the time for an emotional outburst. I sat up straight, fixing my tie with one hand before folding them in my lap.
"I understand, sir, though I will need an explanation before I will leave this building. The FBI has been my life, and I need to understand why I am being fired."
My words rung out in the office, almost as nonchalant as Cullen's, and the director nodded. His eyes held remorse, approval, and a note of something else, which almost looked like pride. The pride unsettled me. If I had done something worth of being fired, he should not be proud of me just because I managed to muster up a dignified response. Hope glimmered inside of me, for a second, and I fixed my eyes on my deputy director as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Agent Booth, you are not being fired. I am sorry I needed to startle you in such a way, but it was necessary. I needed to be sure I am making the right decision. You're response showed me that I am. You're a good agent, Booth."
Apprehension was growing within me, coming in a wave after the feeling of relief washed over me. I was glad I was not being fired, but there was something else I had to do, something that was making Cullen show more emotion than he usually ever does. I adjusted my tie again, letting my fingers slip over the silk. It was brightly colored, as I liked them, but in the silence and light of the office, it seemed garish and ugly. I muttered a thank-you for the compliment, but Cullen's face did not change. He was serious, business-like, and he continued talking.
"Booth, you should know better than anyone what it is like when a country is at war. War times mean sacrifices, on all parts. You have been requested by a top official to travel to Iraq, and use your skills as a sniper to assist the United States military in a few key missions. You will leave within the week, and your tour will last a year. After that, you will be welcomed back into your position with the FBI. Will you go?"
The question that Cullen asked was not an offer, I could not refuse, and my heart and mind were torn in two. When I had been a sniper in the military before, I was a single boy, carefree and ready to do anything my country asked of me. Now I was a man with a child, a beautiful child, and a life that I had established. Yet, the flag of my country was the backdrop to my life, enveloping my child, keeping him safe, and covering my life. I was passionate about the United States, and I would die for it. I would welcome this chance to defend my homeland one last time.
"Yes sir, I will."
My words were simple, but conveyed so much meaning. They meant a year in a hot, sandy desert. They meant a finger squeezing a trigger, and a back aching from crouching. They meant bloodstains, and tears. A memory of a brown haired woman flooded back into me, one who struggled back in another war torn country, but I didn't defend. This image brought another one, of a different brown-haired, beautiful woman. This time, I would defend her.
As I stood up to leave, and had shaken Cullen's hand, I turned to him, speaking slowly, evenly. I did not want any passion to be conveyed in the words I spoke. That would give the wrong message. I did not want Cullen to think I wanted a protector for my lover. I wanted him to think I wanted a protector for my friend and partner. That's what Bones was, a friend and partner, whether that was what I wanted or not.
"Sir, while I am on my tour I expect Dr. Brennan will be given a new, temporary partner?"
I stressed the word temporary, and held his eyes while I asked. This was important to me, and I needed him to acknowledge that she would be looked after, be taken care of. I knew she had so much fight within her, but everyone needs a little help, especially in her dangerous job. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't anymore, and I needed someone to do that. I did not want someone to take my place, which might break me apart.
"She will be taken care of, Agent Booth. You are dismissed for the rest of the week, and I hope to see you in a year. Good-luck, and Good-bye Agent Booth."
The words were very final, very stiff, but Cullen's eyes held worry, and affection. I nodded, and said good-bye, walking out of the office. I was sure of myself, and not at the same time. I was doing the right thing, but I was leaving so much behind. Parker, and Bones were the two most important people in my life, and I would not see them for a year. I was leaving, possibly forever.
As I passed the desk of Natalie the secretary, she smiled up at me, asking some question about how my meeting went, and if she could do anything for me. I shook my head, and answered her questions, not revealing I was leaving, but wondering whether there would be a different secretary when I returned.
I smiled, and said good-bye to Natalie, reflecting on the life of a secretary as I walked on. I knew she had a small son, and briefly wondered if it was difficult making ends meet, a secretary was not the best job. She could do so much better, even if she was good at her job.
I turned around, pulling my wallet out of my pocket, and pulled a good-sized wad of bills out of it, and placed them in front of Natalie, who looked at me like a fish out of water. I smiled at her, and said good-bye, then left the Hoover building, possibly for good.
A secretary is thankless job, with tedious work, and not much pay. If I was not to return, and could not officially say good-bye to anyone I was close to, there had to be some measure of an ending. I was not scared of death, but I was scared of what I would leave behind, what memory people would have of me. If there was any last act I could've committed with the FBI, giving a gift to a secretary is it. Sometimes the people that did not have the largest paycheck, or were not the most important needed the most attention and help. I knew this from experience.
As I pulled past the Hoover building, squinting up at it, I thought of Cullen, and then I thought of Natalie, pocketing the money, thinking of what she could buy her son with it. She would spend it on her son, I knew. After thinking of Natalie, I did not look back at the building. I would be fine if I never came back to it. Closure with a company, and basic strangers is good, but I had a harder task. There were living breathing people who I had to go talk to now, and I was scared of what would happen with them. You cannot close the door on loved ones. It is left wide open so, if there comes a time of tragedy, the pain can flood in. Thinking of Bones, and Parker in pain, I winced, and made a decision. No matter what, I would not die, and would return to them again.
AUTHORS NOTE: Okay, a little all over the place, but it is way, way better than my first try at the third chapter, and it makes everything a bit more clear. Review please!