Chapter eight: The Revelations
Summer removed her sunglasses, revealing a set of big chocolate brown, watery eyes. "Hey Coop."
Marissa stood there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. First she had thought that this must be a joke; either that or a very strange and vivid dream. Was her mind truly playing nasty tricks on her? Not only was she seeing Summer, but now she was hearing her too. She looked at her big brown eyes, not realizing that Marcello and Julie were staring at the both of them waiting to see what her reaction would be. Maybe she was right all along, she really was going crazy because this couldn't be happening, it didn't make sense.
She closed her greenish blue eyes for a moment and held them shut, trying to take it all in. Julie stared at her daughter, wondering if she was ok. She took a step forward to touch her arm, but before she could even make contact Marissa came to and reopened her eyes. She figured that as soon as she opened them reality would reappear and the vibrant mirage of Summer would be gone. But to her astonishment Summer was still standing there, her smile still wide and welcoming, and her cheeks stained slightly with tears. Everyone was so silent that it was deafening and Marissa's head felt like it was going to explode.
A million thoughts and questions started running through her clouded mind. What was she doing here? Was she there to see her? Shouldn't I be screaming at her for sleeping with my boyfriend? Did time heal all the wounds? Could she even be angry with something she didn't remember? She looked amazing. I really have missed her. Should I hug her? Should I run away? Why now after all this time? All of these thoughts were crashing down on her all at once, but the one thing on her mind that held more weight than any other was what would seeing her mean in her quest to finding her memory? Suddenly she felt embarrassed. She was confused and scared. The fact that she didn't know how to act with her once best friend was driving her senseless. She took a step away and looked down. Her stomach tightened and she felt a little nauseous.
As she took a step back, Julie finally reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, hoping that the contact would comfort her. She tried to tilt her head a little to meet her yes. "Marissa honey, are you ok?" The look of genuine concern was very evident upon her face. She looked up to Summer instantly and tried to think of something quick. "It might be too much for her." She spoke as if Marissa was a mute and couldn't answer for herself.
Summer looked to Marcello and he shook his head with disbelief. "Too much for her to see her best friend?" He chimed in and took a step forward before Summer could even respond. He was ready to step in and help his new friend with whatever she needed. He knew how Julie could be, and he wasn't about to let her come between these two best friends any longer. It was obvious to him the love Summer had for Marissa, and the idea of Julie keeping them apart infuriated him.
Marissa heard Marcello's words covered in his thick Italian accent and was a bit taken back by the passion in his voice. How did he know anything about them? This was all too much. She looked up to him, and with his glance he gave her a small reassuring smile. Something about it made Marissa ease up just a bit. But before she could speak Julie interrupted her.
"Do you have any idea what my daughter has gone through?" She paused and shot a piercing glare in Marcello's direction. "Seeing someone from her past like this could cause her much confusion." With that, she stepped in front of Marissa, as if to protect her from any harm. She wasn't going to let two young kids ruin three long years of getting Marissa to where she was today.
But Summer knew better. And Julie's words only fueled her anger. She could feel her blood start to boil and things around her started to blur. The fire in her eyes was enough to scare anyone and she took a step forward. "Or it could help her regain her memory!" Summer shouted, she pushed her hood back further, and stood up tall.
Marcello looked to his friend proudly and knew that this wasn't over by any means; in fact it was just starting. He placed his hands on his hips and nodded to Summer and then both of them turned to face Julie to see her reaction.
Julie was shocked to find Summer to be so bold. She stared at her for a moment with a look to say, "don't mess with me." She stood her ground and raised her chin a bit to let Summer know she was not backing down from this. "Summer…" She began, her voice sweet as can be, but her eyes darting towards her. "… you really don't know what you are talking about." She pressed her lips together firmly, causing thin white lines to spout from them.
Maybe it was the fake sweetness in her voice, or more likely it was nearly three years of life without her best friend, but Summer could feel her heart start to beat faster and she took another step closer. She wasn't going to let Julie Cooper do this, she was determined to speak her mind and get Marissa back in her life. Now the indomitable brunette and the daunting red head stood face to face, with mere inches between them.
"Well maybe I would know what I was talking about if you would have told us where she was, and informed us of her well being!" Summer was trying with all her might not to scream in the middle of the shopping center. She was also attempting to keep her cool, but every second that passed she grew more and more fired up.
Marissa who was standing behind her mother could hear the anger in Summer's voice and grew even more confused. Why now, after all this time? She took a step back from them and stared as the two continued to confront each other. Marcello never left Summer's side, and he let his hand run to the small of her back for mental support, all the while diverting his gaze between the three women.
"Listen here young lady, I know what is best for my daughter and you need to change your tone of voice if you…" Julie began to defend herself but Summer interrupted her before she could even finish.
"If I what?!" She began, not even trying to hold back her anger now. She shook her head in disgust. Anything that Julie would try to throw at her, she already knew she would have an argument for. She was prepared for battle. "You kept her from us Julie! For three years! We were the one thing that could have helped her and your selfish, well manicured, cardio-bar ass kept her from us! You say you know what's best for her, but I'm thinking you only know what's best for Julie Cooper." She paused and then looked to Marcello who just smiled to her for being so outspoken.
"Cardio-bar ass?" He questioned with a laugh bending his head down low to check her ass out and shook his head. But Summer was too focused now to even crack a smile. She eyed him carefully and then looked back to Julie.
Julie couldn't believe what she was hearing. When did Summer become so brave and brazen? She had to admit she was a bit taken back by her daughter's best friend's forwardness. She would have never expected her to stand up to her the way that she was. And suddenly she began to become a little frightened by the outcome of this encounter. "I don't need to explain myself to you." Julie began, but when she saw that her strong voice didn't budge Summer she continued. "Look Summer, the doctor's said that…"
Julie tried to remain calm, tried to act like she was in control. She was not about to concede defeat to this young girl. Julie had been playing this game for far too long, and she had many years on her. She didn't have to take this attitude, and she wouldn't. Summer may be determined and bitchy now, but there is no way she could trump Julie Cooper. But Summer was on a roll and she wouldn't let Julie breathe any sort of lie. "They said what, Julie? To keep Marissa from the ones who love her the most? I find that very hard to…"
"You slept with my boyfriend." Marissa interrupted meekly. She had finally come from around Julie and showed her face to them once more. She wasn't sure what they were talking about, but the one thing she wanted answered was why Summer was even acting like her friend. "How could you do that… after Holly and Luke… why?" She paused and continued to look into her yes. "We were best friends." She was confused beyond anything, and her first reaction was to just run. And yet she didn't escape just yet, she wanted to know why someone who clamed to love her would do something so hurtful. None of it was making sense, but she was trying. With her head hung low she didn't wait for a response to move on. "You claim to love me but you slept with my boyfriend. We haven't been close for longer than three years, so what do you want Summer? What are you doing here?"
Although both women wanted to continue the tremendously heated discussion they were in, as soon as they heard Marissa's voice, they grew absolutely silent. They stared, and watched her as she spoke with her head to the floor. After she was done, Marissa raised her head slowly and met Summer eye to eye, waiting to see some sort of flicker of regret or even some form of embarrassment from being called upon the truth. But instead of seeing her cheeks flush red, all Marissa saw was a fresh tear run down Summer's face.
"Marissa I don't know where you…" she stopped herself and shook her head in disbelief. How could she tackle this? Her eyes met Julie and she took a deep breath. Turning back to Marissa she spoke again, "I could never sleep with Ryan… I…"
Marissa looked to her for a moment and squinted her eyes. Ryan? Did she just say Ryan? She turned her gaze to her mother for a moment, a strange look forming upon her normally very confident face. She wanted her mother to explain to her what was going on, but everyone was quiet once again. "Not Ryan." She started, "Ryan and I never dated… I.. I was talking about Koby." Marissa saw things flashing before her eyes. The same images she had been thinking about for the last three years. The dreams, the memories of her times right before TJ mixed with memories in which she wasn't sure were real or not. Things started circling around her, and she was losing focus again. She began to freak out, and needed answers now.
"Koby? Who in the hell is Koby?" Summer immediately glanced to Julie for an explanation. But Julie wasn't paying attention to Summer at all. She was looking to Marissa who was starting to turn paler and meek.
She shook her head and moved to support her. "Marissa, honey are you ok?" She turned to Summer and glared at her. "You are confusing her!" She grew more frightened, not just for Marissa but for her entire plan that seemed to becoming unraveled. "Marissa honey, we should go, and I'll explain everything once we..." She couldn't lose her, she couldn't lose her Marissa.
"Don't you think you've done enough!" Summer wanted to hit her, she knew now what Ryan felt like all those times. "Marissa… listen, I know you are confused, that is why I came…."
"Marissa you have to trust Summer…" Marcello chimed in at the same time.
Everyone was talking to her at once, but Marissa found it hard to actually hear anyone's actual words. She hadn't felt this confused since right after the accident. She looked from Summer and then to Julie. Both of their mouths were moving; she could see the concern in their eyes, but Marissa had never felt so claustrophobic in her life. She started to back away from them, shaking her head. "Both of you just stop!" She screamed as tears of her own burned the white flesh on her face. "I… I can't do this." She admitted to them.
Julie and Summer stopped arguing and turned to look at the distraught Marissa. Simultaneously they took a step forward to comfort her. Summer could feel her heart starting to break; this is not how she wanted things to happen. And at the same time, Julie felt like her world was crashing down on her all over again. "Marissa." They both spoke at the same time.
"No, don't." She instructed them, taking another step back and putting her thin white hands up to keep space between herself and them. "Just leave me alone." And before either of them could do anything else Marissa turned around and started to walk away. At first it was just a couple of sluggish steps, but before she knew it she was in a full on dash. It was too much for her to handle, and she wasn't sure she could take it right now. Tears started to stream down her face just as fast as her legs were taking her through the shopping center. She couldn't get out quickly enough. Her head was spinning; it felt like it could explode at any minute. Everything around her was a blur and she could feel herself become dizzy. The amount of information she was trying to process only bemused her more.
But regardless of her head spinning, she continued running… running until she couldn't breathe anymore, and she was forced to stop. As she did, she rounded her shoulders over, placing her hands on her knees to catch her breath, the tears felt like they were burning holes into her soft skin. Looking around, she tried to gain her composure. And as soon as she did, she hailed down a cab and quickly spoke to the driver as she got in. "Lake Bracciano." She told the driver, and without speaking he responded by heading out of the city.
"Ryan I know." She stated simply.
His eyes shot up to her. What did she mean she 'knew'? What exactly did she know? He squinted his eyes lightly, waiting for her to further explain.
Isabella may have not known every single detail, but with the information she had received, along with knowing Ryan pretty well, and just being an intelligent girl, she put two and two together.
"I know what happened to Marissa."
Ryan stood there for a moment just staring into his girlfriend's deep green eyes. He pressed his lips together firmly, holding his breath, and causing his face to grow slightly more white. What did she mean she knew what happened to Marissa? How could she possible know? He tilted his head slightly, trying to figure out what exactly she was talking about. But again he remained silent.
Isabella looked at him, waiting for some kind of reaction; or even just a form of recognition that he had heard her. But to her dismay she didn't obtain one; instead she received a blank stare with a slight tilt of the head. She sighed, and had everything she could do to not let out the tears that were welling up behind her eyes. Her heart was breaking, because she was finally realizing just how much Marissa meant to Ryan. But it was more than that. He was still in love with her, she was the reason he couldn't love her back. The thing was, she would have been ok with knowing about her. She could handle the fact that he had had past loves; it was rare to find someone who hadn't had them at their age. It was just that if he would have just been honest with her, if he would just admit he was still in love with her…
"The accident, her memory loss, I know it all." Isabella reaffirmed her first statement. Her voice trembled as she attempted to take another step towards him. She wasn't going to tell him how she knew, but she knew, and that was all that mattered. "Ryan?" She called out his name, wondering if she should try to touch him again.
Ryan closed his eyes and turned his back to Isabella. Visions of a broken, bruised and beaten Marissa flashed before his eyes again. He tried to ignore them, but they seemed as clear as day. She knew. How did she know? As much as Seth couldn't keep his mouth shut, he wouldn't think that he would actually make a mistake this huge and tell her. He had warned him time and time again, that Isabella didn't need to know about his past. It was HIS past, his demons, and he didn't want her to have to deal with them.
He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair and took a deep breath. Some how, deep down inside his gut, he knew this would come up sooner or later. He just didn't expect it so soon. He didn't know what to tell her, because he still hadn't dealt with it himself. And if he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn't willing to admit that even though it had been three years since the accident, he couldn't move on completely. She was still out there… she may have lost her memory, but he hadn't. Finally after a very long silence he spoke in a monotone voice. "Who told you about her?"
Isabella looked at the back of his head, and watched as he ran a shaky hand down the back of it. She sighed and decided to play this game of beating around the bush and hiding from the real issues; at least for now. "Does it really matter how I found out? Most everyone around here knows about the accident, it only took a little bit of investigating to find out more." She paused and waited for him to respond, and with his silence she grew more frustrated. She was trying to at least sound patient, but it was becoming harder by the second. "The question is, why have YOU never told me about her?"
Her question lingered in the air, and this time she wouldn't speak until he answered her. It wasn't something new and surprising that Ryan was keeping something from her. She knew the moment she meant him that he was someone with a complicated past, and it took him awhile to trust and open up to people. But Isabella had felt like they had made progress. He started to open up to her, at least with some things like his family, and his life in Chino. She had truly believed that they were moving past those problems. Little did she know the root of his pain had still been left unturned. It was brutal on her to realize that he still didn't trust her with his heart… and with the important most stuff.
"There isn't anything to tell." He said as he looked over his shoulder at her. But he didn't turn his entire body around. He wished that that would be enough, just telling her he didn't want to talk about it. But he knew her too well now, and he knew she wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer. And so he took a deep breath and continued, trying not to feel… trying to put on the show that it wasn't a big deal. As he spoke, his eyes never met hers. "We dated, and she was in an accident. We weren't even together when it happened." He paused and continued to look straight ahead. "She was in a coma for awhile, but she woke up when I moved to Berkley." Although he was trying hard not to show it, the pain and regret was evident in his voice. "We aren't allowed to see her, not that it matters anyway, because she doesn't remember me." It was the most he had said in a really long time. He only hoped that she would be satisfied with that information.
However, Isabella needed more than that. If Marissa didn't mean anything to him then he wouldn't be acting this way. She took a deep breath and shook her head, disappointed with him, for not trusting her yet again. She had never done anything to hurt him before, and she was tired of proving her loyalty, her passion and her very being to him time and time again in hopes he would return a bit of his heart. Before she knew it, she couldn't hold them back any longer, and the tears started to overflow out of her green eyes and down onto her cheeks. "Julie told everyone to stay away, that it would hurt Marissa more to see you." She picked up where he left off. "And of course, you wanting to do what was best for someone you care about, stayed away… even though it killed you inside." She sat on the edge of her bed, feeling defeated. She wiped the tears away from her cheeks only to have fresh ones take their places. She continued to look up at him, just hoping… praying he would finally open up.
As Isabella began to talk about what she knew, Ryan could feel his blood pressure rise. Why was she talking about this? What right did she have to bring up the past he was trying so hard to forget? The last three years he had fought his very own soul, just to find some sort of peace within himself. But peace was no where to be found. All he created was some sort comfort in consistency. He never stopped hurting, and definitely never stopped missing her, he just got used to it. And in some weird way the constant familiar pain became soothing.
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen the darkness from cold.
How I wish I'd screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run, far far away;
Find comfort in pain
All pleasure's the same:
It just keeps me from trouble.
Hide's my true shape,
Like Dorian Gray
I've heard what they say,
But I'm not here for trouble.
The more he tried to ignore her, the more Isabella continued to speak. Ryan became angrier and angrier and began to shift uncomfortably. He didn't want to do this, not now, not ever. As he felt one single tear drip out of the corner of his eye he clenched his fist and turned around to face her. "Stop." He said with an agitated voice. But it wasn't a scream. He tried to stay calm. He wasn't going to let her bring out his emotions.
It's more than just words:
It's just tears and rain.
Isabella wasn't sure but she thought that she saw a tear streak his face. She looked closely, but just as quickly as it was there it was gone again. And through her own blurry eyes it was hard to focus on anything. "Ryan you need to deal with this." She stood back up, but didn't dare move closer to him. "I know how much she meant to you, I can see it in your eyes. You can pretend all you want that it doesn't matter, but it does matter…it affects us… and you need…"
"Do you know that I was there when it happened?!" His voice raised as he tried to explain to her what he was going through, without actually talking about his feelings. "Whoever informed you, did they tell you that I thought she had died in my arms? That I held her there as she was broken and bleeding? And did they leave out the small bit of information that I could have probably prevented it all?!" His voice was no longer calm. She wanted his emotions, she would get them. He just wished that he could close those doors in his mind for good, and only open the ones with the good memories, not these.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me to understand the years.
(How I wish you were here)
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
He stared at her with the look of pure hatred in his eyes. And it scared Isabella; she had never seen him like this. Normally he was one of the most gentle persons she knew. Without warning Ryan moved back over to the night stand, grabbing his wallet and his keys.
"Ryan where are you going?"
I guess it's time I run, far far away;
Find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same:
It just keeps me from trouble.
Hide's my true shape,
Like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say,
But I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same:
It just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words:
It's just tears and rain.
Ryan shook his head. He couldn't deal with this, not now. He needed to get out of there, clear his head, push the old feelings out of his heart before they started to eat at him once more. Isabella grew frightened and took a step forward to him. She grabbed his arm lightly and spoke. "Ryan wait, there's something you don't know." Ryan ripped his arm away from her but stood his ground. He didn't say a word, just looked at her to go on.
She stood there breathing heavily. Her blood shot eyes were puffy and sore, and her nose was running with immensely hurt feelings. She knew she wasn't supposed to tell Ryan what Summer had found out, that Marissa's memory wasn't completely gone. But she felt like she was losing him. She couldn't lose him, she didn't even think she could live without him. Part of her knew that if he never found out, he would eventually get back to the state they were in; the content happy state of their relationship. But she also knew that that state wasn't real… and she was sick of living a life filled with acting and lies. And if finding out what she really meant to Ryan meant that she had to tell him what she knew, she was willing to do that. It was a risk, and before she spoke she hesitated a great deal. What if she told him? She knew there was a huge chance of him taking off. She didn't date Ryan Atwood for a year and a half and not realize he had a savior complex. But maybe if he knew that she was ok, and that Summer had gone to find her, they would be able to move on. She looked intensely into those deep blue eyes as Ryan waited for her to speak.
"Marissa, she…" just as she began to speak, there was an obnoxious knock at the door and Seth's face popped up in one of the pool house windows. He only had one eye opened, afraid of what he might see if he fully looked on. But once he saw that the couple was fully dressed he proceeded with opening the pool house doors. "How is my second favorite couple in the entire world doing?" He spoke with a bit of a laugh. "I would say you were my first, but not to sound conceited or anything, but Summer and I are surely much cuter than the two of you. It's true Ryan has the whole young Russell Crow thing going for him, and Izzy, you are definitely a knock out, but Summer and I have this charm that is just…"
"Seth!" Both Ryan and Isabella screamed his name at the same time, getting him to shut up. And with that Seth jumped. He looked startled at the two of them, and realized for the first time that Isabella was crying. He opened his mouth to speak, but he wasn't sure what to say.
"Now is not the time Seth." Isabella informed him, before he could even speak again, trying to sound less harsh. She tried to regain her composure now that Seth was in the room, and began wiping her tears away. But the room fell completely silent and the awkwardness was quite evident.
Seth shuffled his feet a bit, not sure if he should just turn around and walk away or stay and try to fix things. He couldn't help but wonder what he had just walked into. And although he knew he shouldn't be involved, and was actually scared by the tension in the room, his curiosity kept him glued to the floor. He started to tap his toe and looked to Ryan, only to see an angry look upon his face. "Are you guys having problems between the sheets? You know this one time Taylor helped…." Seth continued to fill the room with his ramblings, but this time it was Ryan that interrupted them.
"NO Seth." He began with an annoyance in his voice. "Isabella here was just going to tell me what she knows about Marissa. Mysteriously she knows more about her than I do." He turned back to face her, waiting to hear what she wanted to say.
Seth gasped and quickly spun around, his Jew frow bouncing light as he did. "You can't!" Seth barked out and moved between his friends quickly. "Isabella, you promised…"
Ryan's eyes brows raised. So it was Seth that had spilled the beans after all. He had never been so disappointed with him in his entire life. Instantly he felt betrayal creep into his soul. He looked to him and stared. How could he? After all these years, he thought he had grown up.
"Seth he needs to know." Isabella protested. He wasn't the one that told her about the accident or about Ryan's feelings, all he had revealed was that Summer was in Italy. And now everything made more sense now that she had all the pieces to the puzzle.
Ryan started to get confused. What more was there to know? Was there more to it than Seth telling Isabella everything he had wanted to keep buried the last few years? Ryan looked to Isabella and frowned. But what was bothering him more? The fact that Isabella was quite obviously upset, and it killed him to know he was the cause of that pain, or was it the fact that his closest friends were going behind his back?
"Seth I can't believe that you told her!" He shook his head with disappointment. His voice was full of anger and bitterness.
Suddenly Isabella realized what was going on in Ryan's head. She knew things were all messed up, but she needed to be sure Ryan didn't blame Seth for telling her about Marissa. She knew how close the boys were, and she would never forgive herself if she messed that up. "No Ryan it wasn't him…"
"Ryan, I totally had your back dude, you know I wouldn't do that…" Seth talked at the same time.
It seemed everyone was talking at once. "Then who was it Isabella?" Ryan demanded to know.
Confusion cluttered the air and Isabella grew more impatient by the moment. She could hear Seth rambling on and on about how he had in fact matured, and he even kept Summer's secret for a long time, which was why Isabella couldn't tell anyone. And everyone should be proud of him, because it was definitely a record. At the same time Isabella was trying to convince Seth that Ryan deserved to know. And finally Ryan grew quiet, trying to take it all in. He wasn't sure what anyone was talking about, but he finally understood that they were talking about separate issues.
"Summer will rip me to shreds if she finds out." Seth turned to Isabella, pleading with her to please not tell Ryan.
"Seth, this is important, he deserves to know everything. He won't be able to make his own decisions or heal if everyone keeps trying to shelter him from everything." It was as if Ryan was now out of the room and Seth and Isabella continued to banter back and forth. Seth's hands were flying around in protest, and a look of complete and utter horror glowed in his eyes.
"Ok everyone stop!"
The two bodies turned to look at Ryan, and again silence filled the room. He looked back and forth between two of the most important people in his life, a mixture of feelings flooding him. "Please someone just tell me what is going on."
Seth looked to his brother and took a deep breath. He saw the confusion and pain in his eyes. He hadn't seen that look in awhile, and deep down he knew that Ryan needed to know what Summer was doing. But he was afraid, and wasn't too proud to admit that. Not only was he terrified of the wrath of Summer's fury if she found out he let the cat out of the bag, but he was also horrified of opening Ryan's wounds once more. He hung his head low for a moment, and started to murmur under his breath.
Isabella looked to Seth for a moment, and took it as a sign to go forward. She didn't want to be the one to come between three great long term friendships, but she felt like Ryan needed to know. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for telling Ryan what was going on. She wasn't positive what the outcome would be. Would Ryan leave her? Would she see a side of him she had never known? All she knew is that she needed to risk that because Ryan deserved to know. "Ryan, Summer isn't just in Europe for a vacation." She began slowly. But by Ryan's eyes she could tell that he was already starting to figure out. "She is there to find Marissa."
Ryan stood there for a moment completely speechless. Summer had done what he had sought to do for the past three years. But he was too afraid, afraid that he would hurt her more. He shook his head in disbelief, partly that Summer would risk damaging her best friend more and partly that he hadn't had the courage to do it first. "But Julie said that…"
"Summer thinks that Julie is lying." Seth finally blurted out. He knew now that there was no way in changing Isabella's mind. And he knew he might as well tell Ryan the complete truth; not that he hadn't been dying to do so anyway. "You know she has been studying medicine in school. She has become quite a good little nurse if you ask me." For a moment Seth's mind wandered until Isabella cleared her throat to snap him out of it. "Right….so I didn't realize it, but the driving force behind Summer's new medical passion is of course Marissa." He paused and looked between Ryan and Isabella as he continued to speak. "She is pretty certain that the facts that Julie has been giving us are not medically accurate."
Isabella looked to Seth, surprised that he had finally opened up to Ryan. The information that she had in her head about Summer was only partly speculation. So she let Seth continue. Ryan did the same. He knew that once Seth began the story, there would be no stopping him now, and all he had to do was sit back and wait for it all to come out.
And that is what happened. For the next ten minutes Seth explained to Ryan that Marissa's memory wasn't completely lost. He shared with him Summer's theory about her partial memory loss, and that Julie had been keeping her from them. He explained that Summer didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, but just recently he found out that she had located her. Isabella and Ryan sat there silent, taking it all in. Isabella watching him carefully, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. But his eyes remained blank. It would be a long night. Isabella knew that.
"Grazie." Marissa said as she reached up to pay the cab driver. She opened the door and stepped out onto the cobblestone street. Lake Bracciano was only about thirty minutes out of the city, and only fifteen minutes from her and Julie's borrowed home in Formello. She had stumbled upon this quaint little town within the first few weeks of living in Italy, when she took a wrong turn and ended up near the water. It wasn't long before this place became a safe haven for her. Julie wouldn't go near it; the town itself was too small for her liking. There weren't many places to shop or dine; it was just a small quaint town with great scenery and amazing friendly people. And so whenever she wanted to get away and try to clear her head, this is where she came. No one knew about it, not even Bray.
Marissa made her way over towards the lake. She paused for a moment and just stared into the bright sun as it reflected off of the blue grey liquid chopping away at different things in its mass. This side of the lake was surrounded by a stone wall that many people sat on to look out at the view. But after years of coming here Marissa had found a much better spot to enjoy the lake than looking at it from afar. There was a spot in the wall that had a part in it. Coming from that separation were a set of steep stone stairs that went down towards the lake's edge. In fact after a good rain, the first few steps of the stairs would be covered in the lake's water. The stones were tattered and worn and in parts almost completely washed away. Because of this, the local town had put a 'No Trespassing' sign up due to the potential danger. Still this didn't stop Marissa. Looking both ways Marissa made sure the coast was clear, and just like many times before, she then jumped over the chain that was supposed to prevent people from going forward. If she wanted, she could easily go on the other side of the colossal lake which had a man made beach front and places to go to the waters edge. But Marissa liked this natural feel, where waves would beat against the rocks and the stone wall. More importantly she liked to be alone. Climbing down the steps carefully she paused, and then like so many times before, she jumped over to a near by rather large flat rock that rose high above all the others. Looking up, the wall was a good twenty feet, and no one seemed to bother her there. If she situated herself just right, even if people above her were to look over the edge they wouldn't be able to see her.
Sitting down Marissa curled her legs up into her body and hugged them closely. Resting her chin upon her knees she stared out and watched as the small waves splashed against the rocks in front of her. Once in awhile the wind would pick up, causing a larger wave to lightly spray the freckles on her face. She only welcomed them. She squinted her eyes lightly and took in the feeling that the water gave her. The constant motion of it soothed her soul, and brought a sense of peace to her brain. She sighed and shook her head. What was so familiar about this place? She knew she had never been there before she moved to Italy, and yet it gave her a sense of familiarity she just couldn't explain.
Ryan climbed the familiar wooden ramp to the spot in which he had spent so many key moments in his life. Like the pool house, the lifeguard stand held more than just memories. It brought back intense feelings and familiarities beyond his control. Once at the top he turned around and leaned up against the wooden wall. The sun had long gone to bed and had been replaced by a half crescent moon. Its rays shined upon the water, and Ryan slid down to take a seat in his favorite spot.
He had no idea what to think about all the information he received just an hour previous. Marissa was in Italy and had more memory than Julie led on. Seth and Isabella had filled him in on everything they knew, and yet there were still so many things left unanswered. He had no idea if she even remembered him at all. But she did remember Summer, so that was a good sign right? Surely he was just as important in Marissa's life and remembered him too. He brought his knees up half way and let out a deep sigh.
Ryan had dreamed of hearing the words, "Marissa remembers you," over and over again. But he never thought that it would actually happen. The last three years had been an extremely difficult time in his life, even harder than the beginning years of his life, which was hard to imagine. There had been a great number of people who had just left his existence previous to what he knew now: his father, his mom, Trey, all the people that meant anything to him. When he first came to Newport, he had a wall built up around him. He wasn't about to fall in love with anyone again, just to have them leave his life like the others. But after time he grew to trust people. And just when he thought he could really rely on the human race once again, she was ripped out of his being. It was different this time around, not because it wasn't her fault, but because it was his. Ryan let a hand move up to his forehead, as he massaged his brow. He was getting a headache.
"I would never sleep with Ryan." The words ran over and over in Marissa's brain. What exactly was Summer talking about? She had never been more confused. Although she knew her mom wasn't perfect, she never thought that she would lie to her about something so important. But Marissa couldn't help but wonder if she had gotten the whole story. Did she and Ryan date? That just seemed so strange to her. Julie had told her that she hadn't dated anyone really seriously most of high school. When Marissa asked why, Julie just assumed she had been too hurt by Luke. But even that didn't add up the more Marissa thought of it. Sure she loved Luke, but she wasn't in love with him. She hadn't been for most of their relationship. Still, even though she remembered being infatuated with Ryan, wanting to know more, wanting to be with him, it didn't make sense that they had actually dated. So why did Summer say that?
Julie told her she dated around until she met a new guy in school named Koby. "He has dark brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, is extremely well bread, and has great abs." Julie told her as she was trying to fill her in on the memories she had lost. It was weird to her that she had fallen in love with someone she couldn't even remember. But at least the fact that he had blue eyes explained the fact that she kept seeing them in her dreams. But the question in her mind was, if he was so important to her, why did her memory block it out? Then of course there was the Summer issue. After all these years, why would Summer sleep with her boyfriend?
Marissa's brain started to hurt more and more, as she tried to patch things together. If she really had dated Ryan it wouldn't really be that hard to believe. Marissa could still remember the way she felt the first time she met him. She had never had those feelings before. But was she just a silly school girl with a crush on the new guy? She remembered the model home, and even the night of her Cotillion. If it wasn't for Luke, Marissa would have loved to pursue things with him. Ryan made her feel so different, he made her feel alive. And yet she couldn't do that to Luke. She was so confused back then. But that was nothing compared to how confused she was now. Marissa laughed and shook her head. She SHOULD have done that to Luke, after all he did it to her. She leaned her head back and remembered those last nights as if it were yesterday…
The night was warm, even warmer than expected. The Cohen boy who lived across the street, Summer, Ryan and Marissa had some how found themselves stuck together on a road trip to TJ. Marissa couldn't even remember exactly why she was going with them instead of with her typical ride, Holly. Although the warm Mexican air filled the atmosphere, there was a cold front splitting through the two young teenagers outside at the vending machine. Marissa was wearing a light green tank top, with an adorable frilly pink skirt that sat low on her hips. Ryan was in his typical attire of jeans, a grey button down shirt and of course… a wife beater.
Marissa was leaning up against the wall, looking quite annoyed at being stuck in the middle of no where. Secretly she wasn't as annoyed as she seemed. Still she would never admit that, not to anyone, not even herself. She was brought out of her thoughts as Ryan spoke. "So, I have to pick wisely, ding dongs or cheese sticks?"
Marissa rolled her eyes, continuing with the act that she didn't want to be there. "I don't know, pick whatever."
"I don't care either, so…."
Marissa interrupted him. "So I guess we'll all just starve."
Ryan looked over to her with a slight glare. He understood that she was upset, but how long was she going to put him through this? "Are you ever going to stop being mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you." Marissa answered almost too quickly.
"Right."
"Well why would I be mad at you?" She responded with wide eyes, wondering what exactly he was thinking."
Ryan let out a light inaudible sigh. "Because you walked in on me with another girl?"
But now Marissa didn't need to pretend that she was annoyed. Jumping on his words quickly she responded. "Actually, I think she was a woman. But why would I care about that?"
"I don't know. Shouldn't be a problem."
"There is no problem."
Ryan shook his head and returned his attention back to the vending machine. "Except ding dongs or cheese sticks."
"I don't care, Ryan! I really don't care about cheese sticks, I don't care about ding dongs and I really don't care that I walked in on you with some girl, or woman, whatever!"
There was no need to pretend anymore. They both knew what the real issue was. And although Marissa was telling him she didn't care, he knew better. "The only reason I was with her was because you were CLEARLY back with Luke."
"I was NOT back with Luke." Marissa protested.
"But you are now right?"
"Right."
"Good."
There was a soft silence between the two as Ryan answered. But Marissa continued. "Great, so we'll just go to Mexico, split up so we don't have to talk to each other ever again."
"Sounds like a plan." Ryan paused but then went on, "By the way, you could've knocked first."
"Did you ever wonder why I went to the pool house to find you?" Marissa asked, trying to open up to him.
"Everyday. Here's your chance. Clear the air. Tell me." Ryan looked at her intently, waiting for an answer.
Marissa took a deep breath. She couldn't tell him, she was embarrassed and confused, and now she WAS back with Luke. Changing the subject she spoke. "Cheese sticks. I hate ding dongs."
Ryan thought back to the look on Isabella's face as she listened to Seth tell them both what Summer had found out. He avoided making direct eye contact with her for fear of what he might reveal himself. But when she wasn't paying attention, Ryan looked to her green eyes. He wondered what she was thinking. There seemed to be a good mixture of sadness, worry and pain written across her face. He knew Isabella well enough to know she was genuinely concerned for Marissa's well being (even though she had never met her). It was in her nature to help people and care for them, just like it was his. It was part of what made them work so well together. But he also knew that she was scared for other reasons as well.
Ryan opened his eyes again and looked out at the ocean's waves. They splashed up onto the shore with vigor, knowing that they belonged there and what their purpose was. If only Ryan could be as determined as the forceful water in front of him. He once was that guy. But things had changed, and he wasn't sure what his purpose was anymore. Awhile back he knew he was meant to be with Marissa, he was meant to protect her, and to save her from anything that tried to harm her, and most of all to love her. But since the accident, that world had shattered. He hadn't really fooled himself, and he knew that deep down he hadn't completely moved on from her, no matter how hard he tried. The problem was, it wasn't just about him and her anymore. He had brought someone else into his life, into this mess. Though his intentions were innocent at first, he knew now that it was a mistake. He shut his eyes again and groaned. Pictures of Isabella ran through his mind. Her long dark curly hair, her perfect curves, and her full lips that would always curl into a smile when he teased her, she was beautiful, and she was his. Although Ryan was reluctant at first to let her into his life, he knew that she was amazing, and she loved him. She was the type of girl that a lot of guys dreamed for, and yet she wanted him. And the thing was, he truly did love Isabella now. It took awhile, but he could honestly admit that. The thought of hurting her drove him crazy. But he couldn't help but to think 'he needed to do this.' Part of him wanted to hop on the next plain to Italy and resume the role of Marissa's savior, but had his reigns been taken away from him? Maybe she didn't even need him anymore. Maybe he had to let her go.
But he couldn't. He had to know if she remembered him, he had to help her. The other part of him knew that by saving Marissa it would be breaking someone else. Was he capable of hurting that someone? He stared out into the ocean again, and with his thoughts, his eyes began to lose focus. Slowly he stood back up, making his way back to his car… and back to the pool house.
Marissa knew that she wasn't ready to face Summer or her mother. But she couldn't stay at the lake forever. She just didn't know who to trust anymore, and it frustrated her to the point of wanting to scream and pull her hair out. Seeing her best friend did more than just throw her for a loop. The moment their eyes met, she longed to hug her. She missed her so much, and part of her knew that she was the solution to all her unanswered questions. But could she trust her? Julie's stories were never very detailed, but they always held a great bit of passion, and she was after all her mother. All this time despite her and Julie's differences, she truly had trusted her with her life, but maybe she was wrong in doing so. She just didn't know what to think anymore. All she knew was that she didn't want to run from this, she needed to know what was going on.
And yet Marissa knew she couldn't go home, to Bray's and the restaurant was completely out of the question. Marissa didn't want to face anyone of her past of her present right now. Leaning up against part of what was left of the ruins of the fall of Rome, Marissa felt this place was appropriate for her mood.
"Marissa, Bonjourno." A think Italian accent spoke softly, and Marissa turned around to face him.
Marissa turned and smiled softly, letting her arms fall to her sides and standing up taller, trying to appear brave. If she could convince him, maybe she could convince herself. "Hi, thanks for coming."
Marcello smiled sweetly, flashing his yellow and blue eyes at her and approached her somewhat timidly. When he got a call from the restaurant telling him that Marissa wanted to meet him he was shocked. No, he was astonished! He was in Summer's hotel room, trying to calm her down from their encounter with Julie when he got the call. He stood there with his mouth opened, completely taken back by Marissa's request. Speaking frantically in Italian he watched as an antsy Summer paced the room asking 'what', and 'who is it?' After hanging up the phone and informing her what the call was about, Summer stood there even more bewildered than he was. "Why you?" She asked him, but all he could do was shrug. Immediately Summer wanted to go with him, and didn't hesitate to tell him so. But Marcello informed her that Marissa had left very explicit instructions, and for some really bizarre reason, she wanted to talk to him and only him. Reluctantly Summer let him go, but not without making him promise to call her as soon as he could. Which led him here. He saw Marissa off in the distance, her long, delicate body leaned up against one of Rome's most precious pieces of history. Though she was gorgeous, and had the look of a stunning European Model, she couldn't look any more out of place.
"Of course." He started as he moved even closer to her. "But you know, Summer is back at her hotel, waiting to see you, if you want I can tak…"
Marcello was immediately cut off by Marissa as she spoke. "I can't face her right now." The two looked at each other, and Marcello just nodded in understanding. He still wasn't sure why she wanted him here, but he was happy to oblige if it meant helping her in anyway. "I know you probably don't understand why I called for you." Marissa continued.
"Well most everyone finds me most fabulous, so I can understand if you just can't get enough of me." He winked and smiled a little, trying to lighten the mood, and to let her know that he was in fact her friend in this situation.
Marissa laughed and shook her head. But his planned had worked; with the laughter her body relaxed, and she felt more at ease with him. For some reason she knew she could trust him, even if she couldn't trust anyone else. She let her shoulders relax a bit and got straight to the point. "How do you know Summer?"
Marcello watched her carefully, trying to read her body language to get a feel for where she was going with this. "Bella?" He began and smiled. "I met her just a bit ago when she rammed her feisty little body right into me, and practically knocked me over." He laughed, remembering their first encounter and telling his slightly different version of it. "That girl may be little but she sure does have power and determination."
Again Marissa chuckled noting that Summer really were all those things he described. Marcello watched her, and saw a hint of complete joy in her eyes. He had seen that same look when he first told Summer that he knew Marissa. "She just came into town; she has been looking for you since the beginning of the summer. I always tell her it is fate that we bumped into each other, you know seeing how I work for your…." He paused, almost saying something harsh towards Julie, but knowing he didn't want to get started on the wrong foot. "…for Joseppi and your mother."
Marissa shook her head and took a deep breath. "It's ok, whatever you were going to say about my mother I am sure she deserves it." Again their eyes met, and another point of understanding was made. "I… I don't understand why she has been looking for me. I mean when I left Newport we weren't even friends, why would she care about my well being?"
Marcello sighed and shook his head. He knew that he had to convince her that Summer and her were friends, and this may take awhile. He moved over to a portion of the ruins that were small enough for him to sit on. He jumped up and sat down, and then patted the seat next to him. To his surprise Marissa agreed and followed suit. "Marissa, I don't know what your mother has told you, but according to Summer the two of you were the best of friends and she has missed you more than a Matador misses his capote!"
Marissa sighed softly and shook her head. "It doesn't makes sense. Why would my mom tell me that Summer and I weren't friends? After all we have been through, I never really thougth that Summer would stoop to the level that Holly once did. I thought she was different."
"That is because she is different!" Marcello said exasperated. "I've only known my Bella for a very short time, but she is the most loyal friend I have ever had. Not to mention she has the most gorgeous hair." He winked and nudged her shoulder again lightly.
"But someone is lying. Either Summer, or my mother, and I just don't know who to believe right now." Deep down and on a subconscious level, Marissa knew who to trust. But for some reason, she just couldn't admit that to herself.
"Do you think that Summer would prance all the way through Europe just to find you after all these years if you weren't friends?" Marcello pointed out the most obvious point. He didn't want to call Julie a liar. Ok well he did, but he respected Marissa enough to not call out her mother. She would figure it out sooner or later on her own. "She has wasted her entire summer vacation just for you. Now THAT is what I call a sacrifice."
Marissa sat there for a few moments, completely silent. She had spent a lot of time at the lake just thinking, and had pretty much come to the same conclusion on her own. The way that Summer spoke in the shopping center, she knew that she was so happy to see her, and at the same time so angry at Julie. But she needed to have it confirmed by someone else.
"If my mother has kept me from my best friend all this time…" she trailed off as her eyes started to water lightly as more and more questions raised in her mind. She held back the tears and continued. "Why would she do that? Summer could have helped me remember…. She could have helped me find myself again." She looked to Marcello, a few tears now escaping her eyes. She pleaded with him with just a look to just explain it to her.
"I don't know Marissa, maybe Julie didn't want to confuse you any more." He spoke the words, but not believing any of them as they left his mouth. Julie was a class act bitch in his eyes, and he couldn't imagine her reasons for keeping Marissa from her friends were anything but selfish.
"Maybe." Marissa spoke softly and looked out into the distance, where the sun was shaded behind hundreds of broken stone pieces. It filtered through them, casting shadows every which way. The parts where the sun came through showed off the most gorgeous green grass, mixed with purple, yellow and red flowers. But the parts where the stones blocked the sun's rays were left dark and cold. It was exactly how Marissa felt. She only knew small glimpses of her life, the rest were hidden from her mind's eye. After some more silence Marissa's tears began to flow freely once more.
"Marcello, I'm so confused. I feel…" she took a deep breath and as she let it out she started to choke up, the tears turning into sobs. "…. I feel so lost."
Marcello's heart started to break as he saw Marissa begin to weep. He had no idea how he had gotten himself into the middle of all this. Sometimes he thought that drama found him. But he knew he was there for a reason, and he wanted to help her just as much as he wanted to help Summer. "Marissa…" he spoke softly and wrapped his arms around her. "Summer found you… she loves you." He rubbed her back softly. "I am sure you will find your way."
Ryan returned to the pool house as the sun was waking up in the morning sky. He still wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, but the one thing that he had decided was that he needed to talk to Isabella. Really talk to her. He needed to tell her everyone of his past, and to the best of his ability open up to her. He was terrified he wouldn't be able to do it, and if he did, he was only hoping that she would understand. Without knocking he twisted the doorknob and took a deep breath. As he exhaled he pushed the door open. Expecting to see Isabella sleeping in his bed, he was surprised to see that the bed was still made and Isabella was no where in site.
"Izzy?" He called out, moving further into his room while looking around. He suddenly panicked, was it too late, had he lost her already? He ran over to where he left his cell phone the night before to see if he had any messages. He flipped open his phone only to see that he didn't have any. He sighed and started to head back out towards the main house to see if she was in there. Just as he opened the door again he heard a voice.
"I'm here." It was a voice barely capable of being heard and Isabella stood there in a fresh pair of clothes with her hair wet from the shower she had just had.
Ryan turned around and let out a sigh of relief. He shut the door once more and looked over to his girlfriend. At first he wanted to hug her, to take her in his strong arms and tell her that he was sorry. But instead he stood there, unable to move. "I… I thought you were gone."
Isabella shook her head. She hadn't slept a wink all night, thinking about what was going to happen between her and Ryan. She had no doubt in her mind that she loved him with all her heart. But seeing Ryan the way he was when he found out about Marissa made her realize that he just wasn't sure where his heart lay. "I thought about it, but then I realized that I shouldn't be the one going." She moved over to the bed, and for the first time Ryan realized that her duffle bag was out, and she was packing.
Ryan wasn't completely sure what as going on. But he knew he didn't want her to leave. "Isabella listen, I know that things have been really weird for us lately, but you have to know that I love you and…"
"Ryan please just stop." She turned around to face him. Her eyes were red, but she was all cried out. Today, she would not let Ryan see her tears. "I understand what you are going through." She continued and then placed another item in the bag.
Ryan face immediately went cold. He wanted to tell her that there was no possible way that she could understand. She had never lost the love of her life, she had never had to see him dying in her arms… or then face the fact that he was alive, but had forgotten all about her. But he knew that she was trying, and it wouldn't be appropriate for him to start in like that. "Iz, I know that you know what happened now, but you can't possibly…"
Isabella could feel her anger starting to rise again. He wasn't going to tell her that she couldn't understand. No she had never been in an accident with the love of her life, nor had she had to deal with losing him in a way that he had. But she did understand losing someone, whether he knew it or not. "Can't possibly understand what you are going through?" She finished his sentence for him and raised a brow. "I think that I do." She left the words like that. What Ryan couldn't see was that he was the love of her life, and she felt like she was losing him.
The words hit Ryan like a Mack Truck hitting the side of a brick building. He blinked and fell silent for a moment. "Iz, I tried to push you away…. I… I wasn't ready, but you…"
"Don't you dare blame me for this Ryan. I waited almost two years for you, and I never once pushed you into anything!" She couldn't believe he was saying this, that he was blaming her for opening up to her. "Are you going to tell me that you never loved me now, and that it was all my fault that you moved on from her?" Her words were harsh. This is not how she expected this conversation to go, but he had opened up the can of worms and there was no closing them now. Ryan remained silent and so she took advantage and continued. "You asked me out Ryan, you told ME that you loved me. I never held you back from going anywhere!"
"I do love you." Ryan protested. He moved over and sat on the edge of the bed, his head falling into his hands again. He could feel the tears coming again, but he couldn't let them go, he had to be strong. He had never cried in front of anyone, and he wasn't going to now.
Isabella watched him move to the bed in defeat and sighed. No matter how angry she wanted to be at him, she knew that he was going through something really difficult, more difficult than she could even imagine. And she knew what she needed to do.
"Look Ryan, lets not fight." She moved over to the bed and sat down beside him. "I know you love me…." She smiled for a moment and spoke again. "I would like to think that I can read people pretty well, and not even Ryan Atwood can hide his true feelings from me….. I know you can't get enough of me." She teased him, but it was partly true. Although Ryan had kept his whole heart away from her all this time, she knew he cared for her, and their chemistry was undeniable. She had dated him for quite awhile now, and although she had her share of insecurities, she knew he at least loved her, on some level. The problem was, did he love her enough? There was only one way to find out.
Ryan was thankful for the joke and light hearted tone Isabella's voice changed into. He knew he didn't want to fight with her. He didn't want to hurt her an ounce more than he already had. It was just challenging; he didn't want to admit that he brought her into this mess and risked breaking her heart… her huge, beautiful heart. "It's true Izzy, please know that." He said as he looked up.
Isabella managed to let another smile form on her lips, and she placed a hand on his arm. "I know Ryan." That moment their eyes met, and her entire body warmed. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to hold him, and to get lost in his world. They both sat there silent, and although neither of them knew it, they were coming to a mutual understanding.
"Which is why I want you to go." Isabella said as she stood up. The tears were filling up behind her eyes and if she looked at him any longer she knew they would break out. She moved back over to the night stand and reached behind the wall to take out Ryan's cell phone charger. Moving back over to the bag she placed it inside.
For the first time Ryan realized she wasn't packing a bag for herself, but for him. His eyes widened and he immediately stood up to lightly grab her hand. He knew he wanted to go to Marissa, his entire body, mind and heart needed to see her again. But he didn't want to lose Isabella in the process. He was confused. "Isabella wait, I'm not going to go anywhere." He stuttered, obviously unsure of himself.
Isabella looked up at him and let out a small laugh. "I knew you would say that." She smiled softly and took another deep breath. "Or at least I hoped. Your loyalty is so strong Ryan, and I know you don't want to hurt me." Ryan opened his mouth up to protest but she continued. "But I also can see in your eyes that you need to do this."
She moved back over to his desk and grabbed the plane ticket she had gotten him the previous night while he was out 'clearing his head.' "You don't have to make the decision Ryan, I made it for you." She reached her hand out and handed him the ticket. She swallowed hard, and felt herself start to shake. Don't cry Isabella… do NOT cry. She told herself. If she wanted to be convincing to Ryan, she needed to be strong.
Ryan looked to the ticket that was now in his hands. It was a round trip ticket from LAX to Rome. He couldn't believe his eyes. He looked back up to her and could feel his heart start beating faster and faster. He was speechless, and he just didn't know what to do. He was going to go see her, after all this time… and he had never been so anxious.
Although they were both silent, Isabella could see the look of anticipation on his face. And though she knew that this was going to be his reaction all along, she still hoped deep down that he would surprise her. She though that her heart couldn't break anymore, but in that moment she felt as if someone took the already shattered pieces and stomped on them. "Ryan, go." She instructed him. He needed to find out what Marissa still meant to him, and if there was still a chance to be with her. Isabella knew that if she was ever going to get his entire heart, she had to let him go.
"Izz…" Ryan barely choked out. He looked back down to the ticket and saw that his hand was shaking. He looked back up to Isabella who had moved over to the bag and got it from the bed. She returned and handed it to him.
"Hurry up, Seth is in the Range Rover waiting for you." Ryan didn't know what to say yet again. Just then he heard a honk and knew that this was really all happening. He moved in to wrap his arms around Isabella. But she took a step back. "No Ryan, just go!" This time her voice seemed urgent. And it was, if he didn't leave that instant, she knew she would grab a hold of him and never let him out of her site. This was the biggest risk she had ever taken, but she knew she needed to do it.
Ryan was a bit taken back by her lack of affection. He needed to at least tell her goodbye. But she wouldn't allow it. She turned around, so that her back was to him, and he had nothing left to do but walk out the door.
As soon as she was sure that he was gone, Isabella buckled onto the bed, crying deeply into the pillows. Moments later, Kirsten made her way into the pool house. Her motherly instinct telling her not to use any words, she simply sat on the bed and placed her hand upon Isabella's back, rubbing it softly for comfort. Isabella quickly sat up, and collapsed into a loving embrace with her.
"Dude what took you so long?" Seth asked as soon as Ryan opened the back door to throw his bag in, and then shut it to get into the passenger side. He had been waiting in the driveway for nearly twenty minutes, tapping his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel.
Ryan looked to his brother, and although he was completely torn on just exactly how to feel, he actually let out a very small but noticeable smile. "Just drive Seth."
Seth didn't need to be told twice, he put the car into gear and backed out of the driveway. "Can you believe we are going to Italy?"
Ryan's head snapped around and looked at his brother. "We?"
Song: Tears & Rain by James Blunt