Ch.3: Peace Treaty and Heavenly Weaknesses

This time, she was doodling on a sheet of paper during work. She waved off most of the customers with some rude comments on her part and her now official mantra of 'no receipt, no exchange'; on occasion she did happen to cuss out a few people, but that didn't happen too often.

The paper really had no set design to it, she thought, as she looked at what she was drawing. It was just a rather large complex pattern. Circles. Squares. Stripes. Dots. Crosshatch. Swirls.

"Excuse me,"

"No receipt, no exchange." Temari muttered without looking up or halting her design.

"Oh, I don't want to exchange anything."

Temari looked up.

It was a cream-skinned girl with caramel colored hair pulled up into two buns. It was a pretty old-school hairdo, but on this chick it seemed to work. She had a slightly irate expression and her brown eyes were lidded with annoyance.

"What's the problem?"

"I realize this isn't your job, but…" The girl sighed. "The blonde over there," The girl pointed to the left. A skinny, flaxen haired, pouty-lipped blonde was whispering to a pale indigo-haired girl. "She's pestering my friend. Might cause in trouble if…" The girl paused. "Can you just like…kick her out?"

Temari yawned. "Why don't you and Bluey just skiddat?"

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "'Bluey' and I have to meet someone here. Neji will plotz if we aren't here and her dad will just about…ugh…I don't even want to think about it."

Temari stared at her for a bit, and then turned her head to Ino. "Oy! BLONDIE!"

Ino turned her head. Her eyebrows knotted together in confusion.

"Get your little plastic butt over here!"

Ino scowled and sashayed over in the most provocative way. Temari was immediately reminded why she didn't like the blonde. She grumbled. To her surprise the brunette did the exact same thing. They shared a quizzical look before Ino interrupted. "What?"

"I'm going to ask you to leave Bluey alone."

She frowned. "What?"

Temari looked at the brunette. "What's Bluey's name?"

"Hinata."

"Hinata. I'm going to ask you to leave Hinata alone."

Ino's lips pursed. "Do you call everyone by their hair color name?"

Temari shrugged. "If you don't quit pestering her, I'll have you kicked out."

"You can't kick me out for that!"

"I can make up a reason." Temari replied nonchalantly.

Blondie's lips twisted into a scowl. "Fine." With a huff, the blonde turned on her heel and walked in the direction opposite of Hinata.

The brunette smiled. "Thanks. I know that's not your job, so thanks muchly."

Temari waved the girl away. "No biggie. I hate Blondie anyway."

The brunette smiled. "I'm Tenten."

Temari snickered. "Ten Ten? That's so dorky."

Tenten scowled.

"I'm sorry! I didn't—" But before Temari could completely apologize, the brunette stalked off with an indignant huff.

"Oh, fine." Temari muttered under her breath. "Konoha people are just so touchy."

"I wouldn't say their touchy. I think it's mostly that you're so obtrusive and crass, and the people around here aren't quite used to that."

Temari scowled upon recognizing the tone of that voice. She could never mistake that voice. That lethargic, annoying, horribly sexy voice. "Go away, moron."

"See, that's rude. Most Konohans would consider that discourteous and actually think you wanted the person you're speaking to, to leave." He chatted amiably, a smile threatening to arise on his features.

"I DO want you to leave." She scowled.

"No. You don't."

"Yes. I do."

He was leaning against the counter, a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eye.

"I don't like you." She growled at him. Although, that wasn't entirely true. She sort of liked him, sort of didn't…

"Shame, because I really like you."

Much to her chagrin her heart began to beat ridiculously. "Shut up."

"Whatever the lady desires."

Temari scowled. "I really, really dislike you."

Shikamaru grinned, but said nothing.

Temari lowered her head and began doodling again.

The next time she looked up, she noticed he was gone. She let out a heavy sigh of relief. Though, she was more than just a bit disappointed. Ugh. There she went trying to make this jackass a prince charming. He was not! He especially could not be after she'd kicked him in the shins. That kind of thing did not happen in fairy tales.

Once upon a time there was a mediocre looking princess. Due to the death of her horrible father she was forced to repeat the phrase 'no receipt, no exchange' (because the evil wizard demanded it in return for her and her brothers' survival) for a long time to all annoying people and move to a horribly green and crazy fortress. Prince charming then, one day, came upon his steed to rescue her and for unknown reasons decided she wasn't worth rescuing. The princess then proceeded to beat up the prince. Frustrated and angry the princess murdered the evil wizard and robbed him clean, she then proceeded to run away back to her sunny hometown, where (due to unfortunate circumstances) she did not reign, but did live happily…ish. You know, for a princess without a prince and all, she was as happy as she could be.

Oh, yeah. Marvelous fairy tale it was.

She dropped her head to the counter.

Death would be nice.

Then she could stop imaging a romantic guy to be with her.

Ugh. She needed to get real.

She lifted her head a bit as a slight pressure was felt on her skull.

"Wakey, wakey, Precious."

"Don't call me precious. And I'm not sleeping." She scowled upon realizing something. "Did you flick me on the head with your finger?"

He waved a nice round cookie before her. "Food?"

She closed her eyes in delight as the smell of chocolate hit her. Oh…My…

NO! Must resist evil cookie from evil boy… Must…

"Leave." She spat out at him.

He smirked and took a bite out of the deliciously warm cookie. "Mmm…White chocolate."

Temari tried hard not to drool. Oh, how she loved white chocolate. He couldn't know that could he?

"Sure you don't want any?" His voice was teasing.

"G-Go…away…"

He waved the cookie in front of her again.

Did he not know how dangerous that was? You don't wave yummy goodness in front of a hungry female, you might return with no hand to speak of.

"You know you want it."

"Shut up."

"It's warm."

"Shut up."

"Chocolaty. Chewy. Oh-so tasty."

She gave him one last glare before giving in and snatching the cookie from his grip. "I hate you, just so you're aware." She took a bite and nearly melted in her seat.

Oh, it just tasted fantastic. He was a God-send. CookieMan from heaven above. He was irritating, oh yes. He was a jerk, oh yes. He was rude, oh yes. But he brought cookies!! (A quality that redeemed him – at least for the time being – in her eyes)

"I knew you'd like it."

"Shut." Mm…She could die now and be okay with it. "Up."

His lips quirked up. "I love to see you eat cookies."

She paused, and glared furiously at him. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"Why I don't recall."

She was about to snap something snotty back at him, but chose to take a bite of the cookie instead and the insult died in her mouth. Wonderful, her weakness was cookies. If this were a real fairy tale she'd be killed by the evil force in under a second.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

"Mmorry?" She mumbled through a mouthful of cookie.

He smirked. "Yes. Sorry. About…'gossiping' the other day."

She swallowed the yummy morsel and stared him. What was he playing at? "Like that'll make up for it." She grumbled and took another bite. "Jackass." She added in afterthought.

"You swear a lot."

"So? You irritate me a lot."

"It's just;" He explained, "those girls get on my nerves."

Her eyebrow twitched. Aw, man. The cookie was finished. She licked the crumbs off her fingers, too happy with the yummy chocolate to be sufficiently angry. Though she was aggravated, which said a lot about how angry she would've been had he not brought her chocolate goodness. "Who are those girls?" She appeared completely disinterested and part of her really was, but a bigger part was curious. When did she become so stereotypical that she could be one of those girls? Was cussing that bad? She did swear, but she didn't think she swore so much so that she could be categorized… Or maybe he was talking about something else entirely.

"Sasuke's fan-club. When you grinned at the mention I thought…"

Sasuke's…? 'The hell? That whole mess happened because he thought she was one of those dweeby melt-in-your seat girls for a guy she'd never even talked to? Okay, so maybe she was kinda pining for Lazy – but she hadn't and wouldn't act like those twits did with Sasuke before she'd sort of known him. Even then, she still wouldn't… If there was anything she wasn't, it was a fangirl. She might obsess, she might create seemingly random fantasies, she might even desire a prince charming, but she did not become a psychotic fangirl. No siree. "See?" She snapped her fingers in her face, quite annoyed. "You thought. All this assuming is pissy, you know! You could've just asked me. I was grinning because I was remembering kicking out the pink-haired one and Blondie. It was fun."

"You might've lied if I asked outright."

"I do not lie." Temari retorted self-righteously.

"Oh, really?"

"Really." She affirmed. His skepticism was bothering her. Some prince!

"Can I test that theory?" He was smirking and there was a glint in his eye that Temari found she did not like. Oh, no, not in the least.

If she were to listen to her mind, she would tell him to bugger off and respond no, he could not test that theory. Of course, her pride prevented her from even considering that course of action. So like an idiot she opened her mouth and told him to go right ahead.

This was why she could never be a princess. Princesses did not fall to the bait of some psycho pretending to be a prince.

Oh, wait.

Wasn't that the problem with fairy tales? All the princesses had a brain the size of a pea?

Shikamaru leaned forward. "Do you," This was going to end soooo bad, "find me attractive?"

Hell yes. His lazy demeanor must trigger the release of hormones in her body. Weird, how biology works, right? "What kind of stupid question is that?" She was incredibly grateful that she did not blush.

"I'm testing your honesty."

"Oh and how would you prove whether I replied honestly or not?" Temari pressed, avoiding answering the question. Answering it honestly would have such horrible results.

Honesty should die.

It's a wonder dishonesty hadn't battered honesty to death with a dirt encrusted shovel yet.

"Just answer the question, Temari." His dumb dark eyes were smiling.

Dumb.

Dumb.

Dumb.

He probably knew the answer anyway. He was doing this to torture her. Sicko. Sadist. "I…" Where were the annoying customers when you needed them? "Think…you are…" Come out, come out, wherever you are. She really wouldn't mind if someone came after her with a chainsaw right now. Just as long as she wouldn't have to answer his stupid question. "The most annoying person I've ever met."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Just thought I'd throw that out there before I answered the question." She clarified. "It might paint a clearer picture for you." She explained. "I actually think I may have some mental illness—"

"No doubt about it." Shikamaru grinned.

Temari scowled. "As I was saying," she enunciated, "because of this deficiency in my brain or perhaps my biochemical engineering, I actually happen to find you attractive."

"Of course you would."

She never wanted to hit someone more. "I really don't like you."

"Maybe if you went to the carnival with me on Friday you'd find me much more enjoyable company."

Temari blinked. "Are you asking me out on a date?" According to Kankurou, the reason no guys ever asked her out was because she was a righteous bitch and a pain in the ass. Normally she thought he was over-exaggerating, but to be honest, she'd been a horrible person and a colossal pain to Shikamaru. This didn't make any sense at all; the jackass had to be playing with her.

"Yes."

"Hell no." Was her immediate response. She didn't do dates. Prince charming always ended up as prince jackass. Better off with prince imaginary. (Even if he hadn't started out as prince charming – shoot, he hadn't even bothered to try to be prince charming. Did that mean, since he was already prince jerk, he would turn into prince charming? Isn't that how the laws of physics went. For every reaction there's an opposite reaction or some equally preposterous nonsense like that?)

He raised an eyebrow. "Am I really so bad?"

"You're horrible."

"Good match then, don't you think? We're both horrid."

She peered at him curiously. "Is that really any way to charm a girl – by calling her horrid?"

"Would you rather I spout some corny poetry?"

She snorted. Immediately she regretted doing that; that wasn't a very ladylike action at all.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes amiably at her. Then his hand ventured into his pocket and pulled something out. It was a tiny porcelain fan. Laced black iron, with white underlie and three purple dots – 'stars' they were in Suna.

Her breath hitched in her throat, and a pink blush crossed her cheeks. She collected fans, miniature and normal-sized, particularly ones of Suna origin. This was one was definitely of Suna origin. "What…?"

"You collect them. I thought you'd like this one."

Trembling she took the small hand-sized fan and turned it in her fingers. "H-Ho…How did you…?"

"That little charm you have hanging from your upper right ponytail." He explained lethargically. "It's very expensive and rare. A Hozuan if I'm correct. I had Naruto ask Gaara – Gaara doesn't seem to like me very much, by the way – just to affirm my hypothesis."

"I…It's…Thank you so much." She was breathless and thought she probably sounded very stupid. But now her heart was beating ridiculously and her skin was tingling. He wasn't a bad guy. Annoying, but not a bad guy. "It's beautiful; I don't have one anything like this."

He could most certainly be her prince…

"Nothing compared to you."

Temari's mouth dropped open and she felt heat rise to her face. Oh…My…He was so…

"Really, Shika, are you flirting!?" A scandalous voice chimed.

Her feelings of elation disappeared and her heart (which had been thudding madly) dropped to her stomach. Temari pressed her lips together. Woohoo, it was Blondie. Way to ruin a very nice moment.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Ino, would you—"

"And with her, really!" She crooned

Temari tapped her fingers against the counter. "What exactly is wrong with me, Blondie?"

"Well, for one, you're a righteous bitch." Blonde said matter-of-factly.

"Why, thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment." She scowled.

Temari smiled thinly. "I happen to think it is."

"Ugh, whatever, weirdo." Ino flicked her hair back casually ignoring her. "Isn't she just a tad too troublesome for you, Shika?"

What was with the 'Shika'? For goodness sakes that was the most – most –ugh! Temari growled. She did not like her. Not one teeny tiny bit.

Why did Lazy even talk to her? What was she his ex or something?

Shikamaru looked at her in irritation. "Ino." He said warningly.

Blondie ignored him. "I mean, when Chouji told me I thought he was joking." She giggled. "But now, I find it's true!" Her pretty pink bubblegum popped and she smirked.

"Oy, Blondie, get lost."

She huffed. "I don't think I will."

Temari tried to stifle the urge to strangle Blondie.

Ino harrumphed. "Besides, Shika, I don't think she appreciates your efforts at all." She flicked her hair back again, and Temari got a face-full of platinum blonde hair. Her hair smelled like lilies and made her feel like gagging. Temari spat out the taste of hair from her mouth. "You know," Ino prattled on, "you should take me to the carnival on Friday. I hear—"

"No fucking way, Blondie." Temari spat out quickly. "He's taking me."

Ino smirked.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

Temari then got the succinct feeling that Blondie had meant for her to do that all along.

"Ah, well. Shame." Ino then giggled her stuffy giggle and skittered away, leaving in her wake the overpowering smell of lilies.

"So, now, you're giving me a shot?" Shikamaru snickered a bit.

"Shut up."

"What, is that the only phrase in your vocabulary?"

"I hate you."

"And yet, you're going on a date with me. Funny how that works."

She pursed her lips. "Are you always this arrogant?"

"Most geniuses are."

She scoffed. "You're a genius?"

He yawned lazily.

Temari rolled her eyes and ran her finger across the porcelain fan. Mmm, it was indeed gorgeous. A little bit like him.

She blushed as that thought crossed her mind.

He noticed. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask."

"Fine."

She stared at him for a bit. "Are you really just going to drop it?"

"What? Do you not want me to drop it?"

"I'm just shocked is all." Temari idly played with her hair. "What's your stitch with Blondie?"

"St-Stitch?" He was snickering again.

"That isn't funny!" She protested.

He shook his head in mirth. "I just love the way you talk." Temari pouted. He grinned. "Ino and I are just friends."

Temari sincerely doubted that.

Shikamaru sighed noting her skepticism. "I don't lie either."

"Oh, really?" She said in disbelief.

"We've been friends since we were little. Mostly because our dads were best friends and we just ended up spending a lot of time together."

Temari stared at him, still tugging at her hair, measuring his words in her mind. "So, you've no…romantic liaisons with her? Past or present?"

He shrugged. "When I was little, I had a thing for her. Not anymore."

"How little?"

"Six. Seven."

"I bet she looked plastic when she was that age too." She muttered in distaste. She dropped her hand from her hair, as she thought of something. "When did you get over your crush?"

Shikamaru said nothing, his dark eyes drawing to an area somewhere past her. "I don't like lying."

Temari swallowed. "Pardon?"

"I don't like lying, and I don't really want to answer that question."

Temari sighed just the tiniest bit. "No problem. Not my business anyway." That didn't stop her from being curious. Tut, tut, Temari, she chided herself. Curiosity killed the cat remember.

Bet he died happy too.

He leaned forward. "I guess it's my turn to ask the question."

She wants about to cut in, with a 'not even, I haven't even started' but he beat her to the punch.

"Is your obsession with chocolate only limited to white chocolate?"

She flushed. "I-I…WHAT?"

"When you were eating the cookie, you looked as if you were in pure ecstasy." He was smirking.

Oh, she just adored white chocolate. She might very well rob a bank if they offered her a lifetime supply of white chocolate. Yum. Of course, him knowing that wouldn't be very good. He could use it as leverage! (Kami knows Kankurou did) Temari scowled. "White chocolate only."

He snickered.

His phone started ringing again. This time the ringtone had changed to on of those bump-and-grind hip-hop songs. Funny, she didn't take him for a hip-hop guy. Although, she supposed the earring dangling from his left ear could…

He grimaced and pulled out his phone. "Hello?"

The voice on the other line seemed slurred and almost (thought not quite) as lazy as Shikamaru's. The boy sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a minute."

A few more words passed between them and he snapped the phone shut. His expression was turned back into that lethargic mask and his movements seemed more sluggish than they had a second ago.

"What's with the song?" She asked quickly, before he had to leave.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Ino's always messing with my phone. I've given up picking the ringtone: she always changes it."

Well, THAT cleared it up. Blondie DID look like the hip-hop type. Maybe also some pop.

Temari? She liked country and alternative.

Maybe she could fix the ringtone on his phone sometime in the future…

"I'll see you. My dad."

Dad. That explained the similarity in tone. Jeez, did lethargy run in his family?

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Pulling away, she blushed a bit. "I'll try not to kill myself with depression in the time that you're gone." Good. At least she could still manage sarcasm. Would be bad if lust killed that function – she liked it so much.

He smirked. "Are you quite sure?"

"Well, my heart will throb like mad every time you're gone, but I'll survive." She ran a hand through her upper left ponytail. "Maybe…" She added jokingly. (1)

He smiled. "You are cute."

CUTE? What!? She'd never ever been called cute. She was so not the embodiment of cute. She scowled. "I am not cute!"

"Cute." He said walking away.

"AM NOT!"

"Cute."

Temari scowled.

She as sooo not cute. She'd prove him wrong! He'd just see on Friday how not cute she could be.

She was damn sexy.

A/N: Iknow, Shikamaru is muchly out of character, but I figure he would act different around Temari, when he really wants her you know. Like he'd try for things. So from Temari's POV I suppose it seems very out of character. Tell me what you think.

(1) The entire sarcastic bit here was hope240291's suggestion. I was trying hard to find a sarcastic thing for Temari to say but was coming up short, and she gave me this idea.