Chapter 11
Message from Harriet Smith to Emma Woodhouse
Subject: OMG
Emma! OMG I'm sooo happy! JOHN ASKED ME TO THE DANCE!!
Can you believe it? I mean, when I was half-knocked out, on the ground, he came over and asked me!!
I don't feel as bad now, because I'm so excited! Just a little tired…but….omg……I never thought he would ask me
to the dance!
Thanks so much for everything!
Luv Harriet xox
Message from Harriet Smith to Robert Martin
Subject: Re:
Hey Robert,
Sorry about this afternoon! I was going to go, but I ended up going with my friend (Emma) to watch football
and meet the guys.
And ended up in hospital because I got knocked out by a ball. But I'm fine now.
I hope everything's ok with the group. Miss everybody back at Highbury.
Hartfield's nice and the people here are cool. Especially Emma. She's really popular and smart and everybody loves her.
It's kind of weird why she would want to be friends with me. I guess it's because she's so nice.
Well, I'll see if I can meet up with you all tomorrow. I'll ask Emma along, tell Spike that! :p
Harriet
Message from Robert Martin to Harriet Smith
Subject: none
Oh crap that's not good are you ok now? Football as in the guys' team or the girls' I didn't know you
liked football. Nah all cool with the group everyone misses ya too. Emma as in the blonde chick at the mall?
Sweet. Yeah Spike'll be happy bout it he's got it bad for her but we told him that people like her probably have
a boyfriend already lol.
Message from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston
Subject: don't worry, emma said she'll let you live another year.
…or maybe till tomorrow.
She was hell bent on killing you, man!
I saved your life by telling her that Taylor would deal with you instead.
So now you'll just have to look out for your girlfriend from firing your ass off!
later,man
Message from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley
Subject: none
What the heck!? Knightley, are you nuts, man?!
Oh yeah, like that really helped me! You mean instead of being
in critical life support condition, I'll just have permanent head concussion?!
Great.
Was that your idea of helping?!
Message from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston
Subject: none
Come to think about it….yes, it is.
Quite effective, isn't it?
Well, it's not I can say stuff like: "Emma, why don't you lay off Chris? He didn't do anything wrong."
?? I VALUE MY LIFE JUST AS MUCH AS YOU VALUE YOURS, WESTON!
Message from Taylor Lee to Chris Weston
Subject: YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!!
Nah, I'm just joking! I know what you did was due to bad skills and lack of talent.
So I'll forgive you on that one. And I've decided that stupid people can't be prosecuted
for their natural behaviour! It's just cruel! So unjust!
But you're going to make up for it….and I mean it, Chris Weston! Or I'll tell everybody
about Mr. Teddy. Oh yes, I will, I'm not joking!
Emma and I have a plan. And you're going to help. Trust me, you will when you hear about the
alternate option!
Lots of love
Taylor xoxox
Message from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley
Subject: Re:
Knightley, you were right. Taylor has something even worse prepared.
I'M GETTING ROPED INTO ONE OF EMMA'S PLANS!!
Bloody hell, man, help me!
Message from Emma Woodhouse to Chris Weston
Subject: hello
hey Chris!
Guess who? You're favourite person!!
Taylor told me that she sent you an email about 'it' already.
So don't you pretend you don't know what I'm on about!
Ok, this is my plan. First, you need to swear an oath:
I, Christopher Weston, will uphold my honour and not tell anyone
about this. Even nosy Davey. And we MEAN it. (You tell and you're DEAD)
You shall not fight for creative control over this mission and if you do you'll be sorry.
And last of all, all orders are sent from above ( Emma and Taylor) and you shall obey
WITHOUT questions, whinging or dumb suggestions!
Chris, you're going to be our insider.
( By the way, this is about John and Harriet. Duh. Why else would we use you?)
You'll drop SUBTLE ( we'll have to work on that) hints to him at practice.
DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT THIS, DUMBO, OR YOU'LL BLOW THIS WHOLE THING!
Taylor'll forward my commands over to you from me!
I'm busy tomorrow, I have an appointment, stupid skating thing. So, we'll have to discuss this another time.
P.s: I'll know if you tell Dave. And if you do, ignoring my threats, then you will be one dead guy.
I will tie you to the railroad tracks with Mr. Teddy as a gag. And Taylor and I will be PASSING BY on the choo choo train.
Message from Chris Weston to Emma Woodhouse
Subject: what the heck?!
No offence, but you chicks are psycho & this ain't going to work!
I'm not going to be some gay messenger, no way, man!
So, you stop giving me orders from above, woman.
Message from Emma Woodhouse to Chris Weston
Subject: re:
First of all, let's get something straight.
This operation hasn't even started, and already you're breaching the oath!
DON'T FIGHT FOR CONTROL, WESTON!
DON'T MESS WITH ME!
I MEAN BUSINESS.
There you go! Are you more clear now?
And yes way, you're our messenger.
Em
p.s: It's Ms. Woodhouse to you, not woman. Only I get to call you that.
Message from Chris Weston to Emma Woodhouse
Subject: re: re
Uh…yes, ma'am.
Ok, fine, what do I have to do??
Please let it not be involved with doing suss sissy things.
That would just be too embarrassing, ok?
Message from Taylor Lee to Chris Weston
Subject: plan
Emma told me to tell you this, her internet suddenly broke off.
On the phone with her at the moment…
So:
Talk to John about how nice, pretty, smart, funny…etc Harriet is.
Find out what he thinks about Harriet.
Get him to dance with Harriet at the dance.
Ok, so if you do those things, Emma and I will completely forgive you.
Don't forget, I'm sure everyone will love to know about Mr. Teddy.
Keep that in mind while you're doing those four steps.
Love, Taylor
Message from Christ Weston to Dave Knightley:
Subject: Kill me now!
I am so DEAD. My girlfriend and Emma are plotting against me.
At the dance, if I do or say anything weird…
IT'S ALL EMMA'S FAULT!
Message from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston:
Subject: RE: Kill me now!
I'm looking forward to the dance, that's all I can say!
Message from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley:
Subject: RE: RE: Kill me now!
I don't even know why you're going to the dance.
You hate them.
Messages from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston:
Subject: I already told you!
It' Emma. She's making me go. Plus there's another reason to go now.
You're going to be publicly humiliated.
Messages from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley:
Subject: Whatever…
That girl. I swear she came from hell.
Don't know why you even stand her or like her.
Messages from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston:
Subject: What the hell
are you talking about?
We're friends if you haven't noticed, even though she sometimes has issues.
Messages from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley:
Subject: Not according to what
Taylor has been going on about.
Messages from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston:
Subject: none
What did she say about Emma and me?
Messages from Chris Weston to Dave Knightley:
Subject: What about Emma and you?
Who said anything about Emma and you?
Why do you want to know so much anyway?
That's not like you
Unless….
You do like her?
Messages from Dave Knightley to Chris Weston:
Subject: You're an idiot!
That's all I can say about you.
Chapter 12
Diary entry of Emma Woodhouse
Today has been very eventful in world history terms. Or from my point of view: Mission Accomplished.
Well, maybe not quite…since John and Harriet aren't exactly together just yet. Yet. But soon will be.
HE ASKED HER TO THE DANCE. With a little help from me. But still. Ok, I'll give you a blow-by-blow
because I don't want to miss ANYTHING out!
3:30 pm right after school. On the oval.
Harriet and I sat on the bleachers and took photos of everybody. A few of Chris so Taylor would be happy.
And enough for me to put on my dartboard.
Dave was in a foul mood and wouldn't let them have too many breaks, so there wasn't much time to talk to them.
But when he finally did, I took the opportunity to directly talk to John.
J: Hey Emma.
E: Hi, you guys were great out there.
J: Thanks, Dave doesn't think so.
( and we both looked over to Mr. Grouch who sat frowning next to Chris on the bleachers)
E: Nah, you guys are going to be fine. Well, Harriet and I think so!
J: Are you going to the dance?
I must say he is very well trained. I was kind of surprised that I didn't have to make idle boring small talk till I reach my point!
( I thought he was going to be like Dave. Clueless)
E: The dance? Yeah! Are you? It's a couple thing, can't be missed!
J: Yeah, I'm going, but I haven't asked my date yet.
E: Oh, well, who did you have in mind, John?
Come on, say it, say it.
J: Who you going with?
Wait. What the heck? Me? We were talking about you!
E: With Dave, only because he begged me. And I felt too sorry for him, to turn him down.
Then suddenly like practically out of nowhere, Dave said: 'Yeah, right, Emma. You mean you begged me! If I can remember
correctly, there was this twit that said-'
(And that was my cue to punch him hard in the gut)
What? He deserved it! He nearly blew everything! Harriet was this close to being asked, till dumbass came along!
And so he's sitting there groaning, holding his stomach, making a scene.
J: So you're only going as friends, right?
E: Yeah!
God, would people stop asking that!
J: ok, cool. Well, who do you think I should go with? Sandra from your form class?
You mean Gussy's clone? Uh…right.
E: Sandra? (Pretends to think) I think she's planning on going with some guy in yr 12.
Little lies never hurt anybody, right? And besides if you want something really badly, you'll have to do anything to get it!
J: Oh, ok, well how about Lisa in Izzy's grade?
Uh oh. Lisa's a part-time model. Danger zone. Emma, think something fast.
E: Hm, what about Harriet? I mean, she may not be a model but she has more personality than Lisa!
And she's not a slut.
J: Harriet…hmm…..ok, I'll go with her. We can all go together. Weston, Taylor, Knightley, you and us.
E: Great! Well, why don't you ask her now!
So he walked towards Harriet, and I swear it was the cutest thing ever! I kind of skipped over to Dave, wanting to piss him off.
He was still sore about that little pinch I gave him! Come on, it was only a little one! Sissy. I was having a great time gloating…until….
CHRIS WESTON KNOCKED HARRIET OUT!! It was absolutely awful! John was just about to ask her, when stupid Chris kicked the BALL straight at her head! Bad aim?! What the hell! He was trying to kill her!
Dave drove us ( John, Chris, Harriet and me) to the hospital and we were there for ages. Finally we were allowed to go, and it turned out that she was fine. Which is very lucky for Chris. Well, later I found out that John asked Harriet to the dance. Which is great!
Harriet's not telling me what they're going as! Traitor. She said it's a surprise.
Oh yeah! Another thing! It's soo hilarious! I can't believe it! You know how this seriously feral guy from Highbury asked me out?
Yeah, well, it turns out that I'm probably going to see him again. How yuck is that? ( Oh god, I sound like Gussy. She has infected me with her Loser Syndrome)
Harriet pleaded me to come along to skating tomorrow. Ice skating. If it was skateboarding, I would've said no. For obvious reasons.
Well, I said only if Dave comes along! Haha, it's because I want him to see what Highbury people are really like. So he can stop lecturing me about being nice to Robert Martin. Whatever. The only reason I said yes, was because I want to compare Robert to John. Huge distinction.
It wouldn't be risky, seeing as Harriet is so over Robert. Poor guy. Yeah right. But who cares!?
Dave only agreed to come along, because I said I wanted to get to know Robert Martin a bit better. Right, like that's ever going to happen!
Maybe if he changed schools…otherwise no way!
Well, I'm kinda tired now, so off to bed!
Update tomorrow on the skating excursion with the ferals!
Em xox