Peeves' Daughter
Author's Note: Someone on another site once made a comment about "Peeves' daughter," though I can't for the life of me remember the context. I took it as a challenge- what would Peeves' daughter be like?
Peeves, cackling madly, zoomed out of the North Tower, closely followed by an empty sherry bottle and Professor Trelawny's outraged screeches. Flipping over onto his back, he floated lazily through the afternoon sun, wiggling his feet as if swimming through air, in a gentle arc that brought him near the owlery.
On impulse, he floated in through the window and shouted "BOO!" as loud as he could. In a cacophony of screeching and hooting, most of the owls took off through the windows, or leaped hooting and screeching from one perch to another.
One of the exceptions was a beautiful white snowy owl, which simply gazed at Peeves reproachfully.
"Well, pretty birdie," he said, floating nearer, "Peevsie doesn't scare you? Then how about… THIS!" Peeves stuck his thumbs in his ears and wiggled his hands, while blowing an extra loud and wet raspberry just inches from the bird's face; she bit his nose.
Swearing loudly, Peeves drew back and sucked in a huge breath. Before he could do anything else, however, a voice behind him said, "Picking on the poor pretty owls again, Daddy?"
Startled, Peeves spun around. Floating toward him, smiling, was the tall, thin ghost of a young woman with a big smile on her face, and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
"Miriam!" Peeves cried. "How's my favorite daughter?" He rocketed over to her and made himself insubstantial, so he could give her a ghostly hug. She laughed.
"I'm your only daughter, Daddy, remember? You adopted me and no one else, because I'm just like you." She reached out and tweaked his nose, then zoomed over to the white owl and screeched in her face. Annoyed, the white owl took off and flew out the nearest window, hooting and grumbling her displeasure.
Miriam laughed and zoomed back to Peeves.
"Well, I did it. I drove out the latest family that moved into my house. That's three in the past two years, Daddy. This last batch was stubborn; took me almost a whole year to finally get them out." Miriam had been haunting a house a few miles south of Hogwarts for almost 200 years. Very few had suffered her tricks and taunts for more than 6 months.
Peeves cackled again. "Very good. You've learned well from your old Dad." He bowed low to her, sweeping his hat off his head and placing it on his butt. "So how have you been?"
The two bounced and bobbed around the owlery for more than an hour, catching up on each other's (for lack of a better word) "lives" and enjoying each other's company. Miriam didn't often visit, but Peeves always enjoyed it when she did. She told him all the things she'd done to drive out her latest family, and Peeves grinned and laughed at her antics.
"Oh, how I wish I could've seen their faces at that," Peeves said. "C'mon, let's go have some fun with the students."
The pair plunged down through the owlery floor, heading for the Great Hall where students would be gathering for dinner. They hadn't gone far, however, when Miriam suddenly stopped, her eyes going wide as she clutched her head.
"Da-daddy. Something's wrong," she moaned. "I feel… funny inside." She doubled over, clutching her middle now. "Daddy, help me."
Peeves spun around and rocketed to her side. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"I, I don't know. It's like…" Her eyes suddenly got wide. "Oh, no! Daddy! They've brought an exorcist. I can feel it- the people are back and they've brought a priest! Daddy, help me!"
Peeves rushed to her side, horrified and helpless. "Miriam, hold on. Fight him, you can do it. They're tried this before, you'll be OK."
"No, Daddy, he's too strong. I feel awful. I can't stand it. Oh, Daddy, I love youuuuu" Miriam's voice shot upward as she seemed to stretch and stretch, filling the hallway before she abruptly vanished.
"Miriam, no! Nooooo!" Peeves screeched. He bounced off the walls along the corridor, wailing and tearing his hair. An unfortunate student poked her head around the corner and Peeves bowled her over, then dived through her to the floor below.
Hogwarts Castle was a dangerous place for the next week. No one was safe from Peeves' wrath, until finally the combined efforts of the Bloody Baron and Headmaster Dumbledore stopped the worst of his devastation.
Forever after, though, any Hogwarts student named Miriam was safe from Peeves' pranks. And every year, on April 12, the word "Miriam" mysteriously appeared on every chalkboard in the school.