A/N: Mmkay, I felt like treating anyone who's reading this, so I did the whole double update thing. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy, and I know you'll probably get confused with the kids, but I'll explain it later, more in the next chapter. And don't kill me for what I put in this chapter with Ashley and Spencer...trust me Ash is like my favorite character, but yeah, its part of the story. Enjoy! (and don't kill me) XD. And yeah, italics are el flashback.

Disclaimer: Don't own SON, don't sue me. )

I stared at the TV and tried to concentrate on the show. They were playing re-runs of America's Next Top Model; season 1 to 19. I figured this'll keep me occupied and keep my thoughts away from Shawn and Spencer…and Aiden.

I couldn't remember why we chose him as the fucking donor in the first place. Spencer was happy about it, but I remembered thinking "What the fuck are you doing?!" and I still wonder that. I mean, I love her, but this was the first big fuck-up, the first tear in our relationship, or at that time, our marriage. It's amazing how Aiden always finds a way to fuck things up with me and Spencer.

Aiden…stupid jock. Sure he might be my son's…or Spencer's son's father, but he's my ex. And he's not just any ex, nope, he's special. He's the ex that knocked me up way back when, and now he's Shawn's dad, and every time I look at Shawn, all I see is Aiden. They look so much alike! Same hair, same muscular physique, same smile, same attitude. The only thing different is that Shawn has Spencer's eyes, and that's the only thing that I can look at without wanting to kill him.

"Again…?" I turned to look at where the question came from. For a second I thought Tyra was talking to me, but I realized otherwise.

"If he loves Aiden so much, why don't we just have him live with him?" I sighed and she sat down next to me, but kept a slight distance.

"You said you wouldn't hit him again…" She was on the verge of tears. I put my hand on hers, but she moved hers away. My touch alone scares her, she doesn't like it anymore.

"I say a lot of things." I looked at her, waiting for a pissed response, but it never came.

"This isn't funny, Ash. I could care less what you do to me…" she paused for a second. Most likely remembering what happened…

"Don't you bitch to me about that shit!" I yelled from the other side of the room.

"You fucking just walked out when I actually needed you! He's not just mine you know, he's fucking yours too!" She yelled back, louder than me.

"Well sorry!" I replied sarcastically. "Why don't you just have Aiden get his fat ass over here and help for a change!"

"You know what, maybe I will! At least he gives a shit about things other than himself!" I walked up closer to her and she backed up. Within a few steps, she was pinned against the wall with nowhere to go.

"That's bullshit and you know it." I both yelled and whispered at the same time.

"You're just pissed that Shawn looks like him. Maybe he'll act like him too. Maybe he'll go and get some high-school slut knocked up just like Aiden did!"

I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her into the wall. Once I had her completely pinned to it with my left hand, I slapped her with my right.

"I'm the slut!" I yelled, and slapped her with my left hand, and put my right around her neck.

"Ash…" she barely got out due to the fact that my hand was suffocating her.

"Scream my name, come on. Just like you used to, baby." I grinned and slapped her again, and took my hand away from her neck.

She was bending over, gasping for air, and trying to get away. I pushed her back up against the wall.

"Come on baby, you used to do it all the time." I leaned in and kissed her, but she pushed me off of her.

"Stop it!" She yelled, and started crying.

"You know you like it…" I put my knee in between her legs and pushed it up a bit, coming in contact with her center.

"Don't…please…" she was still having trouble breathing.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to," I said, and slapped her in the face again.

"Ashley…" Tears were falling down her face freely now.

"That's right, say my name, bitch." I smirked and slapped her on the other side of her face again while unbuttning her jeans with my free hand.

"Please…"

"Whatever you want, baby."

"I just care what you do to him." She finished a few seconds later. I was almost too lost in though to hear the words, but I did.

"I'm sorry…" Was all I managed to get out. Two little words is all I can say for hurting Shawn and my wife. Not only am I a monster…I'm pathetic.

"Maybe you should go…" she sniffled, obviously trying to hide that she was crying, but she was failing miserably.

"Spence…" I put my hand on her back, but she cringed at the contact.

"Maybe Kyla will let you stay with her…" she was about to completely break down, and there was nothing I can do about it.

"Don't…please…" I was begging.

"Its funny…" she looked up at me for the first time since she came downstairs. "I seem to remember me saying the same thing." She let out a laugh.

"Spencer…" I was about to cry, but I wouldn't let myself.

"You didn't listen to me, and you think I'm gonna listen to you?"

"Please, Spencer."

"Bye, Ashley." She got up and walked upstairs. I heard the bedroom door shut, and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

I knocked on the door and tried not to wake anyone up inside. Most likely Lizzy and Monica were still up, but if they weren't, they'd kill me.

Kyla opened the door and looked my up and down. "Again?" she asked while yawning.

"Yeah…" she grabbed my hand and slowly pulled me inside.

"ASHLEY!" Monica ran towards me and almost tackled me while trying to hug me.

"Hey!" I tried to sound the happiest I could on the outside, but on the inside I was dieing. "Now where's my other niece?!" I yelled sarcastically.

Lizzy emerged from the kitchen and greeted me with a hug. Unlike Monica, she knew something was wrong and was trying to comfort me.

"You okay?" she said softly, trying to make sure no one could hear.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I smiled and said as if nothing was wrong.

"Hey, Ms. Davies…" I looked over to the corner to see who it was.

"Shannon, you're over here so much you might as well just call me your Aunt." I grinned and she smiled.

"Yeah, mom will just love that one." She rolled her eyes.

"Is mom back at home anyway? Or is she still vacationing in Italy with her new boy-toy?" Me, her, and Kyla all shared a laugh.

"Wow, you guys really are all sisters," Monica said and shook her head.

"Shut up! If anyone knows I'm related to Ash and Ky me reputations wrecked." Shannon laughed and Kyla gave her a light punch on her arm.

"Technically we're only half sisters anyway," Ky added.

"Just like you and Ash," Lizzy said from the kitchen.

"Yeah, but unfortunately me and Ashley are stuck with the bitch of a mom." Shannon followed Lizzy into the kitchen and started searching through the fridge.

"Yeah, she's just the accident from mom and the fresh meat," I said sarcastically and laughed. Sad thing is, it was true. I mean, sure my mom's a bitch, and dad's dead, but at least I know who my dad is; Shannon doesn't.

"Shut up!" she yelled from the kitchen with a full mouth. I find it amazing that she can still be happy when she has such a shitty life. I still remember when she was younger how she would always come into my room whenever I was at home and was crying and kept asking me, "Where's daddy?" If I had a say in this I'd make sure Christine had nothing to do with her, 'cause she wasn't helping my screwing some guy in the room down the hall from hers.

"So, where am I gonna end up crashing?" I sat down at the table across from Monica in the living room…or I guess it's the dining room on this side.

"Stay with us!" Monica said over-enthusiastically. I sware, if she wasn't Kyla's kid, I'd slap her.

"Yeah, come on!" Lizzy said as she walked into the room.

"PLEASE!" Shannon added with a full mouth.

"Fine, fine. Only 'cause I hate seeing you guys beg…" I said as if it was a chore, and sighed. Honestly, I like spending time with them. It's the only time I get to really be my stupid self, and re-live high school life.

"God, I REALLY didn't need to hear that!" I yelled in partial disgust, and partial humor. Actually, I found it hilarious.

"So what?! He's hot…" Monica said while blushing.

"For Christ's sake…he's my son! And technically, he's your cousin!" I said in between laughter. Everyone was cracking up except for her.

"Not really, you're not his real mom," she said like she was clueless.

"Fucking retard," Lizzy said while she walked over to me and gave me a hug. I was about to cry, but I wasn't gonna cry in front of them. This is my shit to deal with, and they don't need to know anything about it. No one knows everything that happened except for me and Spencer…not even Shawn.

"Shit, sorry!" Monica crawled over to where me and Lizzy were sitting on the floor and joined in on our hug.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I pushed them away and smiled. I wasn't trying to convince them I was okay…I was more or less trying to convince myself.

"Now you know why everyone thinks you're such a bitch, Monica," Shannon said from the couch. Considering the fact that they're kind of cousins, Shannon really has a thing against Monica...but let's not get into that.

"Its not my fault you couldn't satisfy him," Monica grinned and turned to her.

"Satisfy my ass. More like, 'cause I wasn't gonna go down on him. He had you for that." See, Shannon's just like me reincarnated all over again. And way I say JUST like me, I mean EVERYTHING.

"More like 'cause you were too into you're best friend to. Oh yeah, that's right, now I remember. You were too in love with Emily."

"Shut up…" That hit a nerve.

"Why? Its not my fault you're a big homo, and you can't get your lesbian lover to like you back," Monica smiled at her as if she said nothing wrong.

"Got a problem with girl-on-girl?" I spoke up to try and settle this…okay…I lied.

"Umm…no…I just meant…umm…" She rambled on trying to figure out a good excuse.

"Yeah, thought so." I grinned and laid down on the floor, or technically the bed made out of a bunch of blankets spread around the floor. "Night." And I tried to fall asleep with a smile. Keyword…tried.