A/N: Mmkay, sorry for not updating lately. I promise I will, and they'll get better. I just have alot going on in my life right now, and its partially inspiring me, and partially killing me. Anyway, yeah. Enjoy."Wake up fat ass!" I felt someone sit on top of me, and I automatically grinned.

"Come on Spencer, its too early for that. Can't I at least wake up first?" I said groggily.

I heard laughter, but paid no attention to it. My baby was sitting on top of me, and that's all I cared about. "Eww, if you think I'm gonna have sex with you, that's a little weird, Ash…" My eyes immediately shot open.

"Fuck…" I blinked a few times and sighed, remembering what happened last night with Spencer and Shawn.

"Language!" I heard Kyla yell from the kitchen. Knowing her she was trying to be a good mom and make breakfast. I feel so bad for her kids.

"What? She's not allowed to say fuck? You have a problem with the word fuck, sis? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fu-." Shannon's fuck rant was cut off by an amused Lizzy.

"Shut up, retard. We get the point," she said while laughing.

"Ash…" I looked over to Kyla who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

"What?" I asked, still extremely tired and wishing I could go back to sleep.

"Spencer called..." Those two words made me wake up immediately. "Shawn's missing…"

I opened the door and almost tripped over my own feet while running into the house. I was still in sweats and a t-shirt, but I could care less about what I looked like after what Ky told me.

"Ash…" Spencer ran up to me from out of nowhere and started bawling. I could feel a wet spot forming on my shirt, but I just held her in my arms and tried to make her stop crying.

"Shh, Spencer." I ran my arm up and down her back.

"He just left…" she said, and breathed in and out heavily a few times.

"Did he leave a note like last time?" I asked as if it was something common to me.

"No…but…" Her crying got worse, and she couldn't finish that sentence.

"But what?" I asked both irritated and concerned.

"He called just before you got here…" she sniffled and tried to regain her composure. "He said he was going over to Zach's for tonight…" I lifted her chin up with my index finger, and wiped the tears that were falling down her cheek with my thumb.

"Is he gonna be back tomorrow?" Part of me hopes he is, part of me hopes he isn't.

"No..." she paused and took a deep breath. "He said he's gonna go with Aiden for a little while…"

"WHAT?!" I yelled, and pounded my fists against the door behind me.

"Ash…I'm sorry, it's not my fault though…" she said as she started backing away.

"Bullshit, Spence!" I started walking towards her.

Before I knew it, she started running up the steps, but she's not that fast. When I reached the top of the steps, she hauled ass into the bedroom and tried to shut the door, but I was inside before she could.

"Ash, please don't…" She fell to her knees and started crying again. I reached down and grabbed her by the collar, and pulled her up.

"If you didn't make me leave, then he'd still be here!" I slapped her, but not that hard. I wanted to save my strength for later.

"I didn't know it was gonna happen, it's not my fault." She said in between tears as I threw her onto the bed. I crawled on top of her, and when she tried to sit up, I pushed her back down and pinned her to the bed with my hands on her shoulders.

"This is all your fault! If you didn't have Aiden be the fucking donor, then none of this would've happened!" I was almost nose to nose with her as I screamed that in her face.

"I'm sorry…" she said, defeated.

"Damn right you are!" I slapped her harder than the last time. "Now say my name. I love it when you do." I grinned evilly and waited for her to say it.

"Ashley…" she spoke so I could barely hear.

"Bitch…" I slapped her again. "Scream it! Come on, scream my fucking name!"

"ASHLEY!" I looked down at Spencer, whose mouth was shut. Then I noticed her looking at the doorway, and I turned to it.

"Shannon…"

"Are you fucking crazy?!" She was pacing around the living room while I just stood there watching her.

"Stupid question," I said sarcastically, and she stopped and gave me a death glare.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ashley?! I mean, you have the most amazing wife, why the hell would you do that shit?!" I find it funny that my LITTLE sister is yelling at me like she's in charge, but she has a point.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" I felt a few tears slide down my cheek. God! I'm crying in front of my sister, this sucks. "Do you fucking think I wanna beat the shit out of Spencer?! Do you think I like the fact that she cries every night?! Do you think I like who I am?! No, I don't! I don't like any of it!" I screamed while looking at her and crying my eyes out.

"Ash…" she tried to sound comforting, but it only made me continue my rant.

"It sucks! Everything sucks so fucking much! I hit my wife, I hit my son! I mean, I can barely fucking look at him! All I see is Aiden! Aiden, Aiden, Aiden!"

"What does that have to do with Spencer?! Why the hell do you hurt her?!" Well, so much for comforting.

"I don't know! I just…I just do…" I stopped yelling and ran over to the couch. I laid down on it and buried my face in the cushion, bawling.

"You should go." She almost commanded. I was a little taken back by the fact that my fourteen year-old sister was telling me what to do. Let alone get out of my own house.

"What?" I lifted my head up off of the couch and stopped crying.

"You can't stay here, Ash…" she said with sadness, but she was right.

"But…" I tried to talk, but I couldn't seem to find any words.

"Maybe mom will let you stay with her, or you could help out Kyla at her place, but not here…not until your ready." She stood next to the couch, staring down at her feet. I slowly walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, sis…" I said and buried my head in her shoulder.