All right, it's time for Chapter Three of "Big Red Revenge." Here's where "business starts to pick up," as Good Ol' JR would put it.
Chapter 3: Giant Complications
As Friday Night Smackdown! began, it showed clips of Edge and the Undertaker's Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match from One Night Stand, culminating in Edge winning the vacated World Heavyweight Championship and banishing the Undertaker from WWE. It then showed last week's episode of Smackdown!, where 'La Familia' had masqueraded as people from Undertaker's past to declare Edge as 'the new, ultimate Phenom,' only to have the ceremony crashed by the Undertaker's younger brother Kane, who cleaned house on 'La Familia,' before going into the traditional Smackdown! opening sequence.
"Hello, and welcome to the show that's changing the face of Friday nights!" introduced Michael Cole as the theme song ended. "I'm Michael Cole alongside the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley-"
"Don't you think the fans get tired of you using that same opening over and over again, Cole?" interrupted Foley exasperated. "We have an interesting night ahead of us, with a Main Event of the ECW Champion Kane participating in a match of our General Manager Vickie Guerrero's choosing, and if Kane wins, he will get to face the World Heavyweight Champion Edge at Night of Champions."
"We know that Vickie will do anything in her power as General Manager to protect her fiancée Edge's reign as World Heavyweight Champion," said Cole. "Will Kane be able to get past her challenge and get an opportunity at Edge? We'll find out tonight!"
"You think you know me..."
The cheers of the fans immediately turned to boos as "Metallangus" began playing, bringing the World Heavyweight Champion out to the ring alongside Smackdown!'s General Manager Vickie Guerrero. As the two of them entered the ring, both Edge and Vickie looked to be very pleased about something.
"Ladies and gentlemen," began Edge as "Metallangus" began fading into the background. "I, your beloved World Heavyweight Champion Edge, have important news to make: the date has finally been set. In four weeks right here on Smackdown!, my fiancée Vickie Guerrero and I will finally be joined together in holy matrimony." If Edge's words were meant to please the Smackdown! audience, they had the absolute opposite effect than was intended.
Vickie Guerrero, however, seemed to be especially pleased with this announcement. "Edge, ever since you first proposed to me several months ago, I've been waiting for our wedding day for so long. Words can't describe how happy I am right now and I know that these fans will be pleased when we finally officially become man and wife, baby." The fans started to boo as she and Edge leaned in to kiss each other, but before their lips actually touched, they suddenly jumped nervously as "Slow Chemical" began playing, bringing out the ECW Champion Kane, who was smirking maliciously at the couple.
"Congratulations on your setting the date, Edge," said Kane evilly. "Too bad you won't be able to make your happy day, because when I'M through with you at Night of Champions, the only way YOU'LL be able to attend your own wedding is if it takes place in an intensive care unit!"
"You haven't won tonight's match yet, 'Champ'," Edge said mockingly to the Big Red Machine. "You were going to find out later tonight, but because of the way you just interrupted us, how about you tell him now, babe?"
Edge handed the microphone to Vickie as the General Manager began speaking. "Kane, if you want to get your hands on my fiancée Edge so badly, I'm going to make sure that even if you win tonight, you still won't have earned the opportunity to face him, that's why tonight, you're competing-IN A GAUNTLET MATCH!" she shouted the last words at the monster. As the weight of this announcement sunk in on the fans, "Metallangus" began playing over the loudspeakers again.
"Kane's competing in a Gauntlet Match?!" exclaimed Michael Cole in surprise. "What a Main Event!"
"This is clever planning on the part of Vickie Guerrero," explained Foley. "Even if Kane wins one match, he'll be tired out for his next opponent, and so on until he actually loses, at which point he will not be able to face Edge at Night of Champions."
Later on in the night, Smackdown! announcer Eve Torres was shown backstage with Kane. "Kane, at the beginning of the show, Smackdown! General Manager Vickie Guerrero challenged you to participate in a Gauntlet Match, where if you win, you will have the opportunity to face her fiancée, the World Heavyweight Champion Edge, at Night of Champions. What are your thoughts?" asked Eve.
Kane simply glared at Eve. "Let me use this to send a message to you Edge. It doesn't matter who you and your little girlfriend throw in my path, or how many there are. I'm not going lose until I have earned the right to face you for the World Heavyweight Championship at Night of Champions, at which point, NOTHING will save you...from...my...WRATH!" At this point Kane sneered at the camera, then walked off-screen as Smackdown! went to a commercial.
"The following contest is a Gauntlet Match!" announced Justin Roberts. "In this match, once an opponent is defeated, he will be replaced by another opponent until the match is over. If Kane wins this match, he will earn the right to be the Number One Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship at Night of Champions!" The fans cheered as Roberts made this last announcement.
The ring suddenly exploded as "Slow Chemical" began playing over the loudspeakers, bringing out Kane as he made his usual fire-and-brimstone entrance.
"Vickie Guerrero has certainly stacked the deck up against Kane, making him run the gauntlet in order to get his chance at Edge tonight," Michael Cole commented at ringside.
"If Kane fails to defeat even one of his opponents tonight, then he will not be able to face Edge at Night of Champions," agreed Foley as Kane set off his pyro. "Normally, I'd pick Kane to win over just about anybody, but in a Gauntlet Match, you're certain to become more tired as you take on more opponents."
As Kane stared toward the entrance waiting for his first opponent, the opening guitar riff of the Miz's theme song played, followed by "Ain't No Make Believe" as the WWE Tag Team Champions the Miz and John Morrison made their entrance as Kane's first opponents.
"It's the Miz and John Morrison!" exclaimed Michael Cole. "Kane's not only going to have to compete in a Gauntlet Match, but now his first match is a handicapped match against the WWE Tag Team Champions!"
"Last Tuesday on ECW, Miz and Morrison attacked Kane after he'd won his match against C.M. Punk," said Foley. "I'm sure Kane hasn't forgotten about those two Hollywood hooligans."
As the bell rang to start the match, Kane immediately started pounding away at Morrison, only to get hit from behind by the Miz, allowing the two of them to temporarily double-team Kane. The match continued to go this way, with Kane pounding away at one of the Tag Team Champions, only to have the double-team work against him as he got hit from behind by the other until Kane ducked a spinning heel kick from Morrison that accidentally hit the Miz. As Morrison stared in horror at his partner, Kane suddenly grabbed him by the throat ready to give the "Shaman of Sexy" a chokeslam, only to grab a rising Miz with the other hand, leading Kane to chokeslam the two of them at the same time. Kane then covered both of the prone bodies of the WWE Tag Team Champions for the one, two, three.
"And the next opponent..." began Justin Roberts. Three 6 Mafia's "Some Bodies' Gonna Get It" began playing over the loudspeakers as the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry stomped out of the entranceway, looking extremely focused. As the bell rang to start the match, Henry began pounding away at the Big Red Machine, sending him staggering. Kane tried mounting a comeback, but his blows seemingly had no effect on the World's Strongest Man. Henry soon put Kane in his devastating bear hug, but Kane was eventually able to power out of it. The World's Strongest Man then put the monster in the corner, ready to smash him into the turnbuckle, but Kane moved out of the way just in time, sending Henry crashing shoulder-first into the steel post. Kane then took advantage of this to hit a chokeslam onto Henry, pinning him for the one, two, three.
"You think you know me..."
The fans booed as Edge came out, an evil smirk on his face. "Not bad, Kane. One more victory and you'll be facing me at Night of Champions. Too bad that's not going to happen, because your last opponent is someone you've never been able to defeat since he arrived in the WWE!"
Saliva's "I Walk Alone" blasted over the arena, resulting in a mixed reaction from the audience as the Animal, Batista roared out of the entrance and performed his usual machine-gun-like pyro. Edge smirked and walked over to ringside to watch first-hand.
As the bell rang to start the match, both Kane and Batista both began pounding away at each other, Kane's punches seeming more fatigue since he'd previously had to go through three men to arrive at this point. Batista soon took advantage, using his explosive offense to smash away at the monster. Kane was eventually able to mount a brief offensive, but the tide turned once again when Batista caught Kane as he attempted the flying clothesline and turned it into a spinebuster. As Batista began shaking the ropes signaling for the Batista Bomb, Kane suddenly sat up, surprising the Animal. Kane grabbed Batista by the throat, ready for a chokeslam, but Batista slipped out and managed to hit the Batista Bomb. Batista covered, but Kane was able to kick out at two, much to the surprise of Batista and the fans and the annoyance of Edge. Batista then tried to put Kane in position for the Batista Bomb again, but the Big Red Machine was able to slip out, then grabbed Batista as he prepared to perform a finisher he hadn't used in years.
"Tombstone Piledriver! It's all over!" shouted Michael Cole as Batista's head hit the canvas and Kane made the cover in his brother's famous style for the one, two, three!
"Here is your winner, and new Number One Contender, Kane!" shouted Justin Roberts as "Slow Chemical" blasted over the loudspeakers. Edge got in the arena and held up the World Heavyweight Championship in Kane's face, leading to a stare-down between the two of them, but suddenly...
"Weeeellllllll, It's the Big Show..."
Brand New Sin's "Crank it Up" started playing as the World's Largest Athlete made his way down to the ring, glaring at Kane. As Big Show entered the arena, he suddenly pounded Kane from behind, leading to a double-team by him and Edge on the Big Red Machine.
"What's Big Show doing here?" Cole said surprised at the World's Largest Athlete's arrival. "Did Vickie Guerrero send him out here to help Edge?"
"It wouldn't surprise me, Michael. This isn't the first time the World's Largest Athlete's done 'La Familia's' bidding," commented Foley, referring to the incident after No Way Out where Big Show had attacked an injured Rey Mysterio on Vickie Guerrero's orders in order to send a message to Mysterio's friend, Floyd Mayweather.
Big Show soon felled Kane with his Showstopper backbreaker, leaving him and Edge standing over the fallen monster. Edge started patting Show on the back, but then the World's Largest Athlete grabbed the Rated-R Superstar by the throat, lifting him into the air for a giant chokeslam.
"Crank it Up" soon began playing again in the arena as Big Show stood over the fallen bodies of Kane and Edge. He then grabbed both the ECW and World Heavyweight Championships and lifted them into the air as Smackdown! went off the air, Michael Cole and Mick Foley both confused over what had just transpired.