Enjoy...
Midori Fujiwara
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Kakashi watched Rin's mother carefully, fully aware of the fact that she was still in his apartment, and that she still had the capability to throw around random items in his home. But she simply slid open the glass door leading to his balcony and, despite not wearing any shoes, walked out onto the cold metal and ice. She didn't seem to be affected by the cold, not even slightly shivering, which Kakashi found amusing, since her name, he had recently found out, was Yukiko. Yukiko meaning 'child of winter'. She suit her name well. Kakashi glanced a moment at what she was doing. She was simply looking down from the balcony.
He thought a long long moment before joining her on the balcony.
"I don't want to leave her," she said a while after he stepped out.
Kakashi stepped fully onto his balcony and leaned forward against the black cold metal railing, after pushing off the snow on it away and down at the ground. He watched the snow fall to the blanket of snow on the ground, still untouched by any footprints. The snow he had pushed off killed the entire smoothness of the snow blanket. The only disturbed area.
That one disturbed area that ruined the rest.
"I just can't take care of her…" Rin's mother continued.
Kakashi paused mid-thought about the snow and without turning his hand, looked sideways to take a look at Rin's mother. Was she talking to him or was she talking to herself? And was she somehow apologizing for the whole situation?
"I don't want to see her cry…I don't want my child to live a bad life…she deserves so much better…"
Kakashi actually found himself ignoring her voice.
"That's why I have to just…abandon her, evade her suffering...there's no other way…"
He heard her voice choke and she couldn't finish her thoughts.
"I…can't support her," she said, forcing it out almost.
So she was talking somewhat in a way to him.
Then for a while, all Kakashi heard was the sound of quiet sobbing.
Kakashi channeled his thoughts on the snow again. He didn't have to hear all this.
"Oh kill me now," she said in the quietest voice the human could ever reach. And she began to climb over the balcony ledge, tears still running, unfrozen on her face despite the freezing temperatures.
The thought of the ninjatou going through him replayed in his mind.
Yukiko was already half way over and let go of the ledge completely without any moment's hesitation. It almost scared him because the abrupt decision she made, it made it seem as though she had been planning every one of her moves all along.
Kakashi reacted out of nowhere and reached out to grab her, almost missing. Sweat broke out as he pulled her back onto the balcony and she fell into and against him, crying into him, crying so that her tears soaked into the fabric of his shirt, in a sense, wiping away her tears.
Kakashi wished he had planned to do something other than site around the rest of the day.
Yukiko was cooking in the kitchen. The kitchen she almost trashed that same morning, she was putting out a different attitude on right now. With the lack of sound, Kakashi got suspicious, but when hearing bowls clinking he quickly concluded that she was starting to serve the food. He heard her call Rin too. And despite the extremely low volume of her voice, Rin still came up all the same.
RIn.
The pack of Oishi prawn crackers brought him in this situation here to that day.
Why'd he ever listen to his stomach anyway?
He watched Rin sit down to face a bowl of rice on the table.
There were three bowls of rice? Who was the third--?
Oh, of course.
Him.
He began to wonder if it was better to wait until he was called, or to just take a seat to avoid any speech.
He looked briefly towards Yukiko, and she caught his eye. She looked back at him blankly, and her eyes averted to one of the bowls on the table before she looked back at him again.
He took that as an 'okay-to-sit-down-there' sign and slowly made his way over.
How strange and paradoxical everything was today.
And then Yukiko sat across from him, Rin on the side between the two. The food was there to be served, but no one raised a chopstick. RIn, being a child, had to wait until her superiors took food, and she was drilled into this custom, living in a country with such traditions. Rin looked back and forth between her current superiors, both whose minds were going high speeds trying to make a decision as to whether to wait or take the food.
Kakashi kept his eyes on the food to avoid any eye-catching. It seemed hours waiting and a few times he was about to take the food himself and his arm actually twitched in anticipation and impatience.
So the three of them sat there, just waiting, watching the food go cold.
Finally, a chopstick took a small portion of the fish.
"Hee…" Rin sheepishly smiled and put the fish in her bowl. She began to eat, the first one out of the three.
Yukiko quickly took some piece of fish.
Kakashi waited until all the chopsticks pocking at the fish were gone before raising his hands above the table…
There was a silence as his chopsticks slowly dove for the food. How he hated this…attention he got…
It seemed forever to him, the time it took to take a portion of the fish. But finally he got what he wanted and put it down on top of the rice.
His left hand reached up to finger the end of his mask, before pulling it down to his head down, but his head didn't follow his mind's will and his eye caught Rin and Yukiko's eyes.
Shit, he thought. Too much attention…
He was glad he hadn't bothered to take off his headband either. Didn't need any more attention than he had now.
He concentrated on the food, eating quicker than usual, which was actually quite quick enough.
If those minutes waiting for someone to take the food were hours, then dinner in comparison was decades.
Kakashi thought the worst was over after dinner. But once the table was cleared, everything cleared, and Rin put to sleep, he knew he was in for a nightmare.
Because now, Yukiko came out of the bedroom, meaning she wasn't sleeping yet. Meaning Rin wasn't awake. Meaning it was just him…and her.
To make it worse, she sat down on the couch where he was sitting, but at least on the opposite end.
She made direct eye contact with him.
"I'm sorry," she said simply. "I should have thanked you before for taking care of her when I couldn't…instead of…overreacting…"
Kakashi looked away from her and to a wall.
"I'm such a bad mother," she said softly, as if talking to herself. But he still heard her, which made him wonder, again like on the balcony, whether or not she was talking to him, and whether that was supposed to be heard at all.
Kakashi's mind tried to put together the shortest question possible that would answer everything.
"How did you get in this situation?" he finally asked.
She thought a while before answering.
"I was poor from the beginning…and when the apartment I was living in caught on fire, everything I ever owned was ash. I had no living relatives so I would stay at my friends' homes, each about a day or two at most. They had their own families to support. While living with my friends however, I couldn't find any job. The one I had previously was affected by the same fire. I only found temporary work, which was nothing, practically free labor.
"I ran out of friends to stay with and started to live on the streets, slowly using up the money I had. I realized I was losing anyway…and that's how…" She dropped off.
Kakashi pretended to not have any reaction to the last statement. Though really inside he was being chilled at the time…the last time he was passing a bar…
"I don't know her true father…and everything has been downhill since…she's been more of a burden than a treasure to me…"
Just an accidental unintended child, he thought again like before when he first say Rin's mother…at her work.
"I'm sorry I overreacted in the beginning."
After several seconds, Kakashi said, "It's understandable."
A long prolonged.
Kakashi focused his mind to the floor.
And then suddenly he noticed she had gotten off the couch and was standing before him. He jerked a little, unnoticeably, when he say her bend down. She embraced him and he tensed.
"You don't know how grateful I am…" she said.
Kakashi wanted to squirm away from her embrace and became quite restless. If dinner was days, then the embrace in comparison, though lasting less than two seconds, was centuries. But he barely moved, just his muscles tensing.
Then she walked away and went into the bedroom.
Kakashi, in contrast to moving and getting out the twitch that he had held in, simply sat there. And in sharp contradiction to himself, had thoughts relishing on the still lingering heat of her arms around.
Do I really have to beg and plead for you to simply press a button and speak your mind? Which really, now that I think about it...reviews are like my salary...because otherwise I really wouldn't post the story now would I? I'd just keep it all inside...
So I'd like a promotion. Thanks in advance. XD
Midori Fujiwara