Wondering if I went to Becky's on Monday might?
Eventually I did. I didn't want to stay at home, alone, bored, and thought maybe if I go there would be at least something to write about in this empty blog.
David opened the door, I always liked David, but what he and Becky just did was disgraceful.
"what's the matter?" he asked, "why this face?"
"I hate you!" I returned
"it's good to see you too babe!"
I immediately went into the kitchen, and saw Becky doing something I didn't know what, I'm the last one to ask about cooking, I would really love to cook, but me? Cooking? I don't even know how to turn the oven.
"hey babe!"
"hey, what cooking?"
and she said something I couldn't remember.
"is it eatable?"

"you would like it"
"you know I'm a fussy eater" –but eat a lot of the food I like (don't know how to count calories)
"have you seen Edward?"
"who?"
"Edward Dark, David's mate"
"no! not yet! Do I have to?"

Edward Dark was sitting with David in the living room, I couldn't see his face, only his hair, which gave me the impression he wasn't old.

As we entered the living room David saw us and stood up, followed by Edward Dark, and I realized how tall he was. He turned around and looked no more than 30 years old, incredibly handsome and so charming.

"Edward" said Becky "This is Sam"
"nice to meet you" I said, trying to look nice.
"pleasure" he replied coldly as if he really don't like the sight of me.
"erm, I've heard you're a producer" I asked, maybe flirting, but what was the point?
"yes I am" he replied indifferent, but he had a British accent.

"ermm" I didn't know what to say, "I'm a director" stupid for saying that.
"ok" and he walked away. Unbelievable!

The night was pretty much boring, Edward wasn't talking much, he wasn't even smiling, too bad such good looks can be wasted on this man. He's already off my list, he didn't even touch his plate, while Becky kept begging him to eat.

"Sam is a good director" they never give up humiliating me, "I told her to go to Hollywood, she would be really successful there, how's Hollywood when you left it Edward?"
"I don't actually live in Hollywood" indifferently, "I take movies in the north".
"Why north? It's warmer in Hollywood"
"I like the cold" he said with a proud voice.

He barely spoke, he was so boring that I started doubting him being a producer, aren't producers pain in the arse? Or at least they talk all of the time.

It doesn't really matter if he liked me or not, Tom seems to like me, and I don't care much about any other bloke.

But I don't know why it made me feel bad when Edward told David while standing on the door before leaving, "she's not my type" that's what he said. I know I shouldn't feel bad for that, but I just hate when a man says that.
I felt so horrible, guys despise me, even a guy who's boring like a history book hates me. Is that because I'm fat?

That was it for that evening. I went back home and told Jules about the whole night, even Edward.
"Who cares if he hates you" she said "At least you would still have Tom"
"yeah, I know"
"Daniel said he was asking about you"
"really? Don't lie!"
"I swear!"
"what did he ask?"

"I don't know, just few stuff about you?"
"like what?"
"Ermm, what you do for living, Daniel said you're still looking for a job, and all sort of crap."
"good start I guess, did he say anything else?"
"don't think so"

The rest of the week was boring, and I couldn't do anything else, I tried looking for a job though, I helped dad with work trying to occupy myself (he's an accountant by the way), and of course I tried as much as possible not to be annoyed by mum.

confession: I actually looked on the internet for Edward Dark, not because I like him or anything, I just want to know more about him as a producer. To my joy or not, I haven't found anything interesting (or maybe because I haven't looked hard, I just typed his name and too many had the same name. one of them was a writer, the other a lord, or I don't know what, I closed the browser trying not to humiliate myself and be obsessive).