WOOHOO I wrote another ch yay me! enjoy :D
And sorry i keep spelling Carlisle's name wrong. i just dont feel like fixing it lol
Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight but this time I think I want a piece of Emmett...RAWR lol :D
and just so yall know this ch is written like as they talk not like the other ch sry :( but its wayyy funnyer :)
Mixed Emotions…And Bella's "Episode"
Esme: That's a wonderful idea honey. Now you kids can have some much needed bonding time while me and your father have some... bonding time of our own in the IMAX theater.
- Kids make gagging noises while Edward falls on the floor screaming "AHHHH mental pictures! make them stop make them stop!!"-
Rose: Okkaayyy? Anyway sure whatever I'll go and grace all of you with my presence. -she smirks- Just make sure Jasper doesn't try to eat any of the animals... or people while we are there.
Jasper: -Looks offended- Your a meanie! -pouts like a 2 year old-
Rose: -mumbles- Like that wasn't weird. Anyways Jasper you know your self control isn't that great. Even Bella who has only been a vampire for 7 years hasn't even tried to eat a human... or attack one, which is definitely the opposite in your case.
Carlise: Rose be nice. Plus you know the only reason Bella doesn't want to eat a human is that fact she is repulsed by their blood. Which in my theory is because when she was a human she fainted and became nauseous at the sight/smell of blood.
Jasper: -Mumbles- Lucky
Carlise: Besides Jasper look on the bright side, you haven't tried to eat a human since you tried to eat Bella at her birthday party all those years ago.
Jasper: -Looks ashamed and slightly embarrassed- Thanks for reminding me.
Carlise: Sorry, and yes Alice I think that going to the zoo is a lovely idea.
- Everyone hears a loud crash and the look around to find Emmett sitting in the remains of their new love seat.-
Everyone but Emmett and Bella: Emmett!!
Alice: WOW Emmett you bounce more than me when you are excited. Congratulations. - mumbles spaz- I guess we will take your uncontrollable excitement as a yes.
Rose: -Pops Emmett in the back of the head- Nice job you broke our love seat... again. Ugh it took Esme and I forever to find that too. We went to 6 different stores. 6!!
Emmett: Well I guess now we are going to have to love in your seat... haha I made a funny.
Rose: -Pops Emmett again then mumbles through the side of her mouth- not here honey. That's for later so shut up.
-Emmett does the supposedly seductive wiggly eyebrow thing towards Rose, while Jasper gags.-
Edward: Alice why on earth would we want to go watch animals walk around, eat, poop, and sleep in little cages, when we can go look at them in the wilderness then eat them after we are done looking?
Alice: Because it's going to be fun and you know it, so stop being such a party pooper. What do you think Bella? Bella? Bella? Where the hell is Bella?
-Everyone looks around for Bella. They find her sitting under Edward's piano hugging her knees, rocking back and forth, twitching and mumbling something-
Edward: Bella? love are you ok?
Bella: -Whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear- Shamoo-twitches- scary monster. Whale is gonna eat Bella. Bella can't let whale eat Bella. Bella eat whale 1st. Yes mwahahaha whale taste good. whale tastes like Edward's Princess Sophia (If you seen how to lose a guy in ten days... ya lol if you haven't don't worry check out my profile and it will tell you) -Edward looks embarrassed while everyone else gags and Bella twitches- Whale. Bella. Cotton candy. Eat. 8 Years old. Bella eat Shamoo. Whale scares Bella. Bella scared. -twitches again-
Rose: -Rolls eyes- Dear God Bella your a freak
Edward: -Glares at Rose-
Rose: But in a good way -scowls at Edward-
Esme: Bella sweetie, What's wrong? You know you can tell us anything.
Bella: Whale. Cotton candy. Eat. Sad Bella. -Twitches again-
Alice: -Has vision of Bella and laughs- Silly Bella, Shamoo -Bella twitches- is at Sea World not the zoo, and besides you can't even eat cotton candy now so you will be fine, I promise. Even if you still want to get cotton candy you can but you have to be the one to carry it around all day not me.
Emmett: Dude like what the hell?
Alice: -Sigh- Ok here's what happened. When Bella was 8 she went to Sea World with her mom to see Shamoo. -Bella twitches and whimpers-
Edward: -Sighs then kneels- It's ok love. Come here. -Bella crawls out from under the table and into Edwards arms.- See love? Much better now, right? -Bella nods like a fat kid who was just asked if they want some cake. Then Alice stomps her foot.- Sorry please continue.
Alice: Anyways like I was saying Bella and her mom went to see 'air quotes' He-who-must-not-be-named 'air quotes' and Bella got picked out of the audience to pet 'air quotes' you know who 'air quotes' and he ate Bella's cotton candy.
Bella: Like the horrible bloodthirsty savage he is -shudders-
-Everyone busts out laughing while Alice giggles and Edward tries to keep a straight face the best he can-
Edward:It's ok love, if i have to eat "him" to protect you know I will.
Bella: NOOOOOOOO!!
Carlise: Huh? Bella you just said you didn't like -whispers- 'air quotes' you know who 'air quotes'
Bella:Yes I know but if anybody is going to eat that cruel, horrifying, savage, scary, untamed, horrible, wild, molesting, black and white son of a bitch its a gonna be me -Does the black girl head bobbing thing while snapping her fingers in the shape of a z (A/N no offense i swear)-
Emmett: -Does same thing- OH NO SHE DIDN'T
Rose: -Pops Emmett- Stop it 'air quotes' sister spice 'air quotes'
Esme: -Looks confused- What didn't Bella do?
Emmett: I don't know i just felt like doing that -shrugs-
Jasper: Well don't it's weird
Emmett: Whatever
Alice: Well then I guess it's settled we are going to the zoo
Edward: When?
Alice: Tomorrow yay!!
Ok so how was this ch? be honest and review!! I accept criticism, praise, negativity, and suggestions or whatever else you feel like saying :D