(( Note: Yes. Yes it has been a very long time since my last chapter. It's been, well, it's been years. I thank everyone who has left their wonderful comments and words of encouragement; you're the reason I'm picking back up my pen today. Hopefully, in my years of absence from writing this series, I've managed to acquire some more prose in my writing. This latest addition will hopefully be the best yet!...Even though I'm still quite fond of Chapter 2… And, I know the title says it's about the professors, but I often find myself focusing on Hooch. I can't help it. The more I write her character, the more addictive she becomes. I'll write one focusing on another professor. I promise… Eventually….))

Chapter 7: Drinking Buddies

Madam Rolanda Xiomara Hooch was pissed, frustrated, and above all, tired.

She trampled through the mainstreet of Hogsmede, seemingly unaware of the rain pouring down. It was late evening in the small village. Add together the untimely hour and the weather and one would find the area nearly deserted.

Rolanda threw open the door to the Three Broomsticks and went straight to the bar.

"Firewhiskey. Now." She demanded, her voice hard and even.

"Long day at work?" asked the barkeep

"Just shut up and give it to me." Said Rolanda, too tired to be kind.

"I wonder how many people you've said that to." Severus Snape's slick voice came from across the sparsely occupied room, his cool eyes glinting at Rolanda from above the rim of his own glass.

Rolanda took her order from the barkeep quickly. "Oh, shut up. I'm not in the mood for you at all." She turned back around.

"I know what's wrong with you." Severus continued. "You get like this every year, right at the beginning, when you have to take those first year's out flying for the first time. And we have to hear about it for the next week and half, all about how hard your position is, how easy we've got it, and how we should be thankful we're not you." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly. You're like a dragon with PMS."

"I don't get you." Rolanda took a swig from her drink, "I don't. On the outside you are a perfectly presentable looking man. If you overlook the fact that you're ugly. Why is it that your soul is just a big jackass with nothing better to do with bait me into arguments?"

"Well it's fun, on the one hand. Revenge is the other hand."

"Oh, revenge. Ok. Right. What did I ever do to you? We've been going back and forth like this for years now."

"Well you started it." The Slytherin took a sip from his glass.

"I did what?!" Rolanda finally relented and walked across the bar to stand on the opposite side of Severus' table. "How did I start-"

"The first day I started work here you talked Peeves into throwing me off the staircase, only to land in a giant pie."

"Oh yeah…" Rolanda chuckled, "I almost forgot about that." She took a drink, "Man, you must admit, that was good. Took some doing too. Peeves has a one track mind. He must be one of your dead relatives."

"Shut up!" Rolanda would have strangled the trouble making ghost by now had she felt it would've been any use. "Just be quiet for two seconds and listen to me!"

The partly transparent little man looked at her.

"And come down here" she called up at him.

Peeves merely continued to look at her.

"Down HERE! HERE HERE! There is there, here is here. Come HERE!"

The ghost rolled his eyes and finally floated down to join the flying instructor in the empty corridor.

"Now here's the plan-" Rolanda began.

"We hit him!" Peeves exclaimed.

"No! You wait until he gets about halfway up that staircase right there-"

"And then we hit him!"

"No! Then you pop up out of the floor of the stairs-"

"And then we hit him!"

"No! You scare him, then trip him-"

"And then we hit him!"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No. Then you make sure he falls over the railing, and I'll take care of the rest."

"…So… When do we hit him?"

"WE DON'T!"

"Well, geez man, don't loose your head. I get it." Peeves floated up to take his position below the staircase.

Rolanda took a deep breath. "Ok… Even in death, all men are idiots. Ok."

She saw a movement on one of the lower staircases. A swish of black robes. The sound of boots on the stone floor. Severus was nearly in position.

Rolanda paused for a moment. What exactly was the purpose of doing this? She thought about it. After a few seconds, she shrugged. Who needs purpose? This was just for fun!

With little time to spare, Rolanda reached into her pocket and pulled out a bouncy ball. She tossed it into the air, and with a flick of her wand transfigured it into a very large blueberry pie. Before it even touched the ground she placed another charm on it, making it hover a few inches above the floor. Scarcely making a sound, she placed it in the perfect position below the staircase where Peeves waited for the right moment.

"BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" Peeves flew through the staircase.

Severus let out an extremely high pitched squeal as he stepped backwards in surprise. Peeves raced around behind his legs, tripping him, forcing him to fall backwards over the railing.

Severus continued to scream like a small girl all the way down, twisting and turning in the air like a dying parrot.

He slammed into the pie with an audible plop; bits of pie flew everywhere.

"Oh man! Oh my god!" Rolanda appeared from around a corner, giggling uncontrollably, "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

"And it still ranks among the funniest moments of my life." Rolanda grinned. She was now sitting across the table from Severus. He was stone faced as ever.

"It was not funny."

"Severus, you fell from a staircase and into a pie. Please explain to me how that isn't the definition of funny."

The man rolled his eyes. "It just wasn't okay. You have no idea how cruddy a day I'd had before that."

"Aww, poor Sevvy had a bad day? What happened? Your boyfriend break up with you?"

Severus glared at her.

"You're right." Rolanda continued, "You can't be queer. Only room for one screaming queen in this school. And we've already got ol' Dumbledore..."

Both of them laughed at that one. Then there was silence for a few minutes as they stared in different directions, each sipping from their respective drinks.

"Y'know," Rolanda began, "It would be really funny if two people as different as us ended up in a relationship."

"Yeah, it would." said Severus thoughtfully.

"Too bad I'm gay." Rolanda took a swig from her glass.

"Too bad I have better taste." Severus stood up from the table, "It's getting late. I'm heading back to the castle."

Without a formal farewell, the potions master had turned and dissappeared out the door.

A tabby cat suddenly walked out from under the table and looked up at Rolanda.

"Why, hello, Min'. Seems like this place is becoming a Grand Central Station equivalent for us educators."

The cat leapt up into the chair Severus formally occupied, in the process transforming back into the familiar form of Minerva McGonagall.

"Seems like you and Severus are starting to get along. You suprised me." The older woman began.

"Ah, I was just too tired to deal with his crap properly. By the way," the flying instructor got a mischievious look in her eye, "do you know what DID happen on his first day to make it so horrible?"

"You threw him him into a pie from three stories in the air."

"Besides that, besides that."

"Well," Minerva leaned back and thought it over, "I think it was something to do with some guy roomate of his who wouldn't speak to him anymore..."

Rolanda's eyes shot open wide. "NO. WAY." She flew up from her seat and ran out the door of the taven, her feet sliding in the mud as she sprinted her way up the main street.

"Wait! WAIT!" Minerva called after her, "It's not what you're thinking!" She too ran out of the room after her spastic friend as she booked it for the castle.

The barkeep watched their retreating backs through the window. "These people are kooky." he said aloud to no one in particular, "... And they're teaching our children..."

((Note: Yes. I made her gay. Couldn't resist. But come on... She's got that queer vibe, doesn't she??))