Movie BJ and all related characters/content are owned by Tim Burton, Geffen Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Not me.
This is basically filler. I'm setting up the climax...which is coming just as soon as the scene plays out in my head. I already have the last chapter written, I just have to find a way to get there.
I had just opened my mouth to start gushing about what I had just seen when a swirling mass of lime green smoke enveloped me. I looked wildly at Beetlejuice, who rolled his eyes.
"See you when you get back," he said cryptically.
The apartment faded around me until all I could see was smoke. After about a minute, the smoke began to clear and I found myself sitting across a desk from Juno. And Juno, it seemed, was not exactly pleased with me.
"What did I tell you?" She ranted. "What was the last damn thing I told you? Don't ask for help from anyone but me. Did I not say that to you? What the hell were you thinking?"
"Whoa. Back the fuck off." I was not in the mood to deal with a screaming tirade. "You're the one who left me there with no damn instructions. That Handbook is bullshit, and it apparently takes 3 years or more to get in to see you. Plus you told me not to go wasting my 'help vouchers.' What the hell was I supposed to do, watch this clown snort coke while I moaned and banged on pipes? Put on sheets with holes cut out for eyes so that he could actually see me?"
"You certainly shouldn't have asked him for help. He's bad news, or couldn't you tell by the fact that his name has been cursed?"
I laughed bitterly.
"Funny how the 'bad man' is the only one who seems to know what the fuck he's doing around here. All this bureaucratic bullshit isn't helping get the job done. Beetlejuice, on the other hand, scared the fuck out of me. No handbook required. And if you weren't paying attention, he just scared the fuck out of the asshole who killed me."
Juno stood and walked around the desk to face me. She was so short that I was face to face with the slit in her neck and I was still sitting down.
"You listen to me, little girl. You may think he's the afterlife's gift to haunting now. But mark my words, something will happen to change your opinion pretty damned quick. And when it does, don't come crawling to me to help you avoid the consequences. I told you to do it yourself. I told you to read the manual and only come to me for help. You've done neither of these things. If you choose to continue your association with this…ghoul…then you and you alone will face the consequences."
I jumped up, preparing to really let her have it, but the smoke swirled around me again. Faster than before, and with a bit of an attitude I thought, it deposited me back in the apartment. Beetlejuice was lounging on the sofa.
"So, how's old Juney doing?" he asked. "She warn you all about me?"
I wasn't in the mood for witty banter.
"That shriveled old bat…why can't she just leave me the hell alone? It's my fucking afterlife. It's not like she was any fucking help anyway…"
I stomped into the kitchen and back into the living room. The apartment was so small you basically had to walk the length of it to pace effectively. I walked this route two or three more times, muttering under my breath, before Beetlejuice spoke again.
"Babe, you're making me sea sick with all this back and forth walkin. Come over here and sit down so we can plan tomorrow night's scare."
Beetlejuice lit a cigarette as I flopped down on the couch. I snatched the cig from his lips and took a long drag on it. I let the smoke pour out of my nostrils as Beetlejuice snorted and lit another one for himself.
"Maybe I like bad shit," I said. "Maybe I want bad shit to happen. Is it such a leap of faith to think that I might want some fucking revenge on the dickwad who killed me?"
"Now you're talkin my language, babe. What do you have in mind?"
"I dunno yet…but I'll think of something. You better believe it."
The air around us crackled with electricity, but I didn't notice it. All I knew was I wanted to hurt Scruffenstein. I wanted to hurt him badly. And my companion seemed to be up for anything.