Disclaimer: Yes, I do not own Full Metal Panic. And yes, in my dreams, I'd like to pretend I do.

Summary: (Series of Drabbles from the FMP universe) Because, even amidst the bullets of war, their eyes speak of things that were never meant to be – of hopes and dreams and love and deaths. This is their story.

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Ammunition
Second Bullet : Repentance
By makka na yuki

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Dog of the military.

She broke the nose of the first person who ever called her that.

Those were in the old days, when she was still new to the service and had high hopes and ideals about serving her country. Joining Mithril was almost like a dream come true, a place where she knows she can make a big difference to the world. It was all about "protect and preserve." She had believed giving up a lot of her rights was worth it, especially with the overwhelming sense of fulfillment with the knowledge that she'd helped out those who were suffering.

But then war can forcefully open your eyes to what the world is really like.

She remembers the first time she ever took another person's life. She had many opportunities to hold a gun before, but then a target in the shooting range never did react as you feed it with ammo. The man, a boy no older than her, clutched his side as he struggled to stop the bleeding. She had looked at him with troubled teary eyes, and quickly put a bullet in his head. He was an enemy, and he might've killed a lot of her comrades as well… but then she thinks, no one deserves to suffer as much.

Killing was inevitable in the line of duty...

But sometimes she wishes there was another way.

In the midst of war, there was always a moment when everything seems to stop, and the only thing she could focus on is how the light seemed to die from everyone's eyes – companions and enemies alike. And then after that, when she suddenly realizes that a battle is still going on, she takes her gun, aims and fires, all the while apologizing for every bullet that escapes her weapon.

She loses count of how many had already fallen by her hands. And at night, she doesn't remember how long she stays awake forcing herself to cry, to prove that she was still human. But then the tears would not come, and she understands…

The next day she asked to be transferred to the Intelligence Division.

An undercover agent? the attendant processing her papers had asked, there's not much to do, but then the probability that you would get yourself killed is still as high.

I know, she replies.

Nowadays life is a little bit more peaceful and she doesn't get to steal peoples' lives as much as before. She believes that the only way to forgive her sins is to die, but she doesn't want to give up yet on reality. She gets to follow orders, just like the good puppy she has become, but she doesn't care anymore.

She could never remove the stench of blood from her hands.

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Author's Notes: Waiii… I do hope everyone realized that I was talking about Wraith here… but then after reading this over and over again, it can apply to anyone in the anime.