4.Chapter - Anxiety
Las Vegas Memorial Hospital
Sounds of medical equipment breaking the silence. A light smell of antiseptics lay in the air. A pane separating her from Nick.
Sara noticed her eyes mirrored by the pane - they looked exhausted and reddened of periods of crying. She went on starring through the glass into the room of the Intensive Care Unit.
Her eyes rested on the bed - on Nick.
The upper part of his body, which was not hooded under white blankets, was wrapped in bandage. An intravenous drip enabled the blood transfusion.
"He lost a lot of blood", the doctors had told her, "we'll see if he'll get through! Thank God the bullet missed the heart - it was stuck in his chest, but we were able to remove it."
Sara didn't know how long exactly she had been pacing up and down the corridor; watching Nick or sitting on one of the uncomfortable wooden seats. There were no windows and no clock and before she had left home that afternoon she had forgotten to pick up hers.
Now she turned away from the pane, slowly crossed the corridor and sat down, placing her head in her hands.
She thought of the last hours. The ambulance had brought them to the hospital. She had been apathetic, shocked, not being able to answer any question.
A nurse had cared for her after the arrival, until Sara had picked up courage again and claimed to see Nick.
Now she startled as she heard steps approach. She lifted her head and saw a nurse - completely dressed in white - going up to her, holding a cup in her hands. She took measured to talk to Sara.
"Miss Sidle - I was wondering if you'd like to have a cup of coffee. You've been waiting for such a long time…"
"Thank you, that's really nice.", Sara said, putting on a light smile.
The nurse gave her the cup, then asked:
"Can I do anything else for you?"
Sara shook her head, but thought 'Pray for him'.
Not willing to leave Sara like that, the nurse tried once again:
"Miss, you should go home. It's two o'clock in the morning - you need some sleep!"
"I can't. I have to stay."
"But it might take days until he wakes up!", the nurse insisted, but Sara just lifted her shoulders in disinterest.
"Then I'll have to wait a few days!"
Realizing she'd not be able to convince her to leave, the nurse shook her head in disagreement, but didn't say anything. Instead she turned around and left, mumbling something like 'lovefool'.
But she didn't know what Sara felt. Of course she worried about Nick, because she liked him! OK, it was more than that. Her feelings for him had deepened.
But Sara also felt guilty. Guilty for what had happened to him.
"It's all my fault!", she mumbled between two sips of coffee.
She had been the one who had wanted to find out, if that guy could have been involved in the case. She had forgotten the security advises. And it had also been her, who hadn't paid attention.
And now Nick had to pay for her mistakes.
Her eyes filled with tears once again, and she swallowed hardly. But she forced herself to empty the cup before putting it aside.
She wiped her tears away and tried to calm a bit down. Then she searched her bag for her cell phone to call somebody - maybe Cathrine-, but hesitated, looking at the tag on the wall showing there were no cell phones allowed.
Finally she put it away, leaned back and closed her eyes. A few minutes later she had fallen into a light, uneasy sleep.
She found herself wandering through dark fog, where she couldn't see anything at first. She was frightened and staggered forward. Suddenly the fog disappeared and she was able to see where she was.
She looked around and realized she was in 'Tribbiani's Bar'. But it was somehow different - in a bizarre way she could not describe.
She felt a hand being placed on her shoulder and slowly turned around, aware of what she might see behind her.
She was surprised to look into Nick's face - but what did he look like? His head was bloody, his skin ripped to pieces. And he smelled, as if he had been rotting for a while.
Now he opened his toothless mouth and mumbled:
"Look what you have done to me... Sara..."
Sara wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Something seemed to press her throat shut.
Nick approached and yelled:
"Wake up!"
He shook her.
"Wake up!"
-
And Sara woke up. She quickly opened her eyes and found a man in a white coat softly shaking her to make her wake up. The name tag on his chest claimed him to be 'Doctor E. Newbaum'.
"Miss Sidle, is everything OK with you?"
Sara breathed heavily, but realized it had been him. Just him. No Nick.
"Yeah", she replied, trying to forget the dream, "Just a nightmare..."
Doc Newbaum took away his hands from her shoulders and stepped a bit backward - politely. Then he gestured into the ICU-room.
"Well, Miss Sidle - I'm glad to tell you that Mr Stokes woke up."
Sara jumped up in excitement.
"But,", the doctor added, "he's still very weak. You may see him, but don't excite him!"
"All right!", Sara nodded quickly, "I won't."
*****
A few minutes later she entered the room, dressed with a green, sterile coat a nurse had given to her.
She walked across the room and stood next to Nick's bed, where she looked down at him.
His eyes were closed and he breathed irregularly, with a wheeze. His face was pale and there were dark shadows underneath his eyes.
She gently touched Nick's left hand and he opened his eyes.
"Sara…", he mumbled, but she shook her head.
"Don't say anything. Everything's all right...", she said and forced herself to put on a smile to calm him down - and succeeded.
He smiled back at her, taking her hand in his and stoking it lightly. The he cleared his throat and asked with a scratchy voice:
"How are you?"
"Well - I'm fine... apart from the fact that I'm suffering from a lack of sleep. Yeah, and of course that I worry about you." She tried to keep up her smile, but couldn't.
Nick frowned.
"You cried, didn't you?"
Sara turned her face away to hide her eyes filled with tears again. Her attempts to stay calm failed.
"It's all my fault, Nick. If I had paid attention, you would not have been shot!"
"And if I would not have cared, you were in my place now.", Nick said smirking sadly. "Sara, it's not you fault. This could have happened to anyone of us! Don't worry… Please!"
Sara noticed how important this seemed to be for him, and so she said:
"OK, I'll try to."
Nick looked deeply in her eyes and took measured to say something, when he was interrupted by the sound of the door being quickly opened. A nurse stepped in and approached.
"I'm sorry, but you need to sleep now to get well soon.", she said to Nick. "Both of you!", she added with a look on Sara, who squeezed Nick's hand and sat down on a chair beneath the bed, obviously tired.
The nurse had prepared an injection she administered Nick.
"You'll soon fall asleep - you should, too, Miss. You don't favour anyone if you collapse because of a lack of sleep in combination with a psychic trauma…", the nurse muttered, then left the room.
Sara didn't care. Everything she as able to concentrate in was Nick, who looked at her. She could watch him get more and more tired, hardly being able to keep his eyes open.
"Knowing you're safe is worth it!", he mumbled, then he fell asleep.
A light smile made its way onto Sara's face and rested. She kept watching sleeping Nick for a while, and without even noticing it, she slowly fell asleep, as well, and upper body sank forward onto the bed. This time, it was a dreamless, comforting sleep.
Las Vegas Memorial Hospital
Sounds of medical equipment breaking the silence. A light smell of antiseptics lay in the air. A pane separating her from Nick.
Sara noticed her eyes mirrored by the pane - they looked exhausted and reddened of periods of crying. She went on starring through the glass into the room of the Intensive Care Unit.
Her eyes rested on the bed - on Nick.
The upper part of his body, which was not hooded under white blankets, was wrapped in bandage. An intravenous drip enabled the blood transfusion.
"He lost a lot of blood", the doctors had told her, "we'll see if he'll get through! Thank God the bullet missed the heart - it was stuck in his chest, but we were able to remove it."
Sara didn't know how long exactly she had been pacing up and down the corridor; watching Nick or sitting on one of the uncomfortable wooden seats. There were no windows and no clock and before she had left home that afternoon she had forgotten to pick up hers.
Now she turned away from the pane, slowly crossed the corridor and sat down, placing her head in her hands.
She thought of the last hours. The ambulance had brought them to the hospital. She had been apathetic, shocked, not being able to answer any question.
A nurse had cared for her after the arrival, until Sara had picked up courage again and claimed to see Nick.
Now she startled as she heard steps approach. She lifted her head and saw a nurse - completely dressed in white - going up to her, holding a cup in her hands. She took measured to talk to Sara.
"Miss Sidle - I was wondering if you'd like to have a cup of coffee. You've been waiting for such a long time…"
"Thank you, that's really nice.", Sara said, putting on a light smile.
The nurse gave her the cup, then asked:
"Can I do anything else for you?"
Sara shook her head, but thought 'Pray for him'.
Not willing to leave Sara like that, the nurse tried once again:
"Miss, you should go home. It's two o'clock in the morning - you need some sleep!"
"I can't. I have to stay."
"But it might take days until he wakes up!", the nurse insisted, but Sara just lifted her shoulders in disinterest.
"Then I'll have to wait a few days!"
Realizing she'd not be able to convince her to leave, the nurse shook her head in disagreement, but didn't say anything. Instead she turned around and left, mumbling something like 'lovefool'.
But she didn't know what Sara felt. Of course she worried about Nick, because she liked him! OK, it was more than that. Her feelings for him had deepened.
But Sara also felt guilty. Guilty for what had happened to him.
"It's all my fault!", she mumbled between two sips of coffee.
She had been the one who had wanted to find out, if that guy could have been involved in the case. She had forgotten the security advises. And it had also been her, who hadn't paid attention.
And now Nick had to pay for her mistakes.
Her eyes filled with tears once again, and she swallowed hardly. But she forced herself to empty the cup before putting it aside.
She wiped her tears away and tried to calm a bit down. Then she searched her bag for her cell phone to call somebody - maybe Cathrine-, but hesitated, looking at the tag on the wall showing there were no cell phones allowed.
Finally she put it away, leaned back and closed her eyes. A few minutes later she had fallen into a light, uneasy sleep.
She found herself wandering through dark fog, where she couldn't see anything at first. She was frightened and staggered forward. Suddenly the fog disappeared and she was able to see where she was.
She looked around and realized she was in 'Tribbiani's Bar'. But it was somehow different - in a bizarre way she could not describe.
She felt a hand being placed on her shoulder and slowly turned around, aware of what she might see behind her.
She was surprised to look into Nick's face - but what did he look like? His head was bloody, his skin ripped to pieces. And he smelled, as if he had been rotting for a while.
Now he opened his toothless mouth and mumbled:
"Look what you have done to me... Sara..."
Sara wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Something seemed to press her throat shut.
Nick approached and yelled:
"Wake up!"
He shook her.
"Wake up!"
-
And Sara woke up. She quickly opened her eyes and found a man in a white coat softly shaking her to make her wake up. The name tag on his chest claimed him to be 'Doctor E. Newbaum'.
"Miss Sidle, is everything OK with you?"
Sara breathed heavily, but realized it had been him. Just him. No Nick.
"Yeah", she replied, trying to forget the dream, "Just a nightmare..."
Doc Newbaum took away his hands from her shoulders and stepped a bit backward - politely. Then he gestured into the ICU-room.
"Well, Miss Sidle - I'm glad to tell you that Mr Stokes woke up."
Sara jumped up in excitement.
"But,", the doctor added, "he's still very weak. You may see him, but don't excite him!"
"All right!", Sara nodded quickly, "I won't."
*****
A few minutes later she entered the room, dressed with a green, sterile coat a nurse had given to her.
She walked across the room and stood next to Nick's bed, where she looked down at him.
His eyes were closed and he breathed irregularly, with a wheeze. His face was pale and there were dark shadows underneath his eyes.
She gently touched Nick's left hand and he opened his eyes.
"Sara…", he mumbled, but she shook her head.
"Don't say anything. Everything's all right...", she said and forced herself to put on a smile to calm him down - and succeeded.
He smiled back at her, taking her hand in his and stoking it lightly. The he cleared his throat and asked with a scratchy voice:
"How are you?"
"Well - I'm fine... apart from the fact that I'm suffering from a lack of sleep. Yeah, and of course that I worry about you." She tried to keep up her smile, but couldn't.
Nick frowned.
"You cried, didn't you?"
Sara turned her face away to hide her eyes filled with tears again. Her attempts to stay calm failed.
"It's all my fault, Nick. If I had paid attention, you would not have been shot!"
"And if I would not have cared, you were in my place now.", Nick said smirking sadly. "Sara, it's not you fault. This could have happened to anyone of us! Don't worry… Please!"
Sara noticed how important this seemed to be for him, and so she said:
"OK, I'll try to."
Nick looked deeply in her eyes and took measured to say something, when he was interrupted by the sound of the door being quickly opened. A nurse stepped in and approached.
"I'm sorry, but you need to sleep now to get well soon.", she said to Nick. "Both of you!", she added with a look on Sara, who squeezed Nick's hand and sat down on a chair beneath the bed, obviously tired.
The nurse had prepared an injection she administered Nick.
"You'll soon fall asleep - you should, too, Miss. You don't favour anyone if you collapse because of a lack of sleep in combination with a psychic trauma…", the nurse muttered, then left the room.
Sara didn't care. Everything she as able to concentrate in was Nick, who looked at her. She could watch him get more and more tired, hardly being able to keep his eyes open.
"Knowing you're safe is worth it!", he mumbled, then he fell asleep.
A light smile made its way onto Sara's face and rested. She kept watching sleeping Nick for a while, and without even noticing it, she slowly fell asleep, as well, and upper body sank forward onto the bed. This time, it was a dreamless, comforting sleep.