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Chapter Two - Dinner
I woke up the next day to the sound of our doorbell ringing. At first I just stared at the ceiling, mind empty of reaction. Then I slunk out of bed and stumbled my way downstairs.
I paused at the mirror on the way and groaned. I'd been up all night watching - and arguing with - Ciara after she'd come home drunk, as predicted, just to make sure that she didn't fall and hurt herself. I didn't know why. I'd finally fallen asleep at around 10 in the morning, and now it was nearly 12. Whoopee.
Due to this, my skin was much paler than usual and I moved with a slump. My eyes were sleepy and dark bags hung under them. Blegh. What a wonderful way to start the day.
I opened the door looking - and feeling- like The Stoned Teenage Drug Addict from Hell. Sue's bright smile met me.
"Hi, Willow!" she said cheerfully. "How are you doing today?"
Oh, I just feel so awful right now and I've been taking care of my mother all night and I'm exhausted and this all sucks so much, thank you, Sue! And you are?
"I'm okay," I mumbled, my standard lie. "Thanks."
Sue just bounced on the balls of her feet and looked like she was glowing, she was so happy about whatever it was. "Good, good," she beamed, obviously not listening to me at all, mind elsewhere. I could see it in her eyes. "Well, anyway, I was wondering if you had any plans for tonight? Because I - all of us, really - wanted to invite you and your mother and sister to our house for dinner this evening at six o'clock. Of course, if you already have plans or don't want to come, that's fine. But we'd just thought that we would invite you."
I blinked at her.
"Jared and Embry are coming, too."
She said this as though it were supposed to make a difference. Was it? I wasn't sure.
"Uh...That sounds, um, nice, Sue. I'll ask my mom."
I didn't know whether or not I wanted to go. The invitation was appealing, but the type of dinner I was used to was fast food in our raggedy car. The change would be weird.
"That's wonderful!" Sue exclaimed, and the whiteness of her teeth was blinding. Without another word, she zoomed away, leaving me to stare after her and wonder what, exactly, had just happened.
I managed to cram in a few more hours of sleep until I woke up to CJ crying. So did Ciara; she grumpily stomped out of her room and looked around with bloodshot eyes, chapped lips turned downward in a frown. I ignored her as she shouted at me to get her medicine and scooped CJ up from his crib.
The two of us - CJ and I - sat in the kitchen a little while later. I'd let him loose in his playpen while I went to take a much-needed shower and comb my hair out. After a little while of digging through my closet, I'd changed into a short-sleeved green shirt and denim capris. It felt much cooler and more comfortable than sitting around in sweaty pajamas.
CJ was devouring vanilla pudding - he'd seen it in my hand and thrown a fit to get it - straight out of the cup, smearing it all over his face. Watching him eat it, I was suddenly reminded of the dinner Sue had invited me to. I looked at the clock; it was five. If I wanted to go, I still had time.
If I wanted to go.
Well, to be honest, I didn't really have anything else to do, and our refrigerator was bordering on empty. So why not? I'd have to bring CJ, but that wouldn't be a big deal. As long as he didn't erupt into a screaming contest while I was there. I'd just have to cross my fingers that he wouldn't.
CJ had gotten full by now and was making a point to stick his hands in the pudding cup and get it all over the high chair. For a minute I was about to tell him to stop, but then I thought, Well, weren't we all like that as kids? I let him continue, even when Ciara came in and glared at the table hard enough to burn a hole in it.
"You're so silly," I said to CJ now. He looked up at me with his wide, curious eyes, and I put a bit of pudding on my finger and placed it on his nose. He squealed with giggles and reached out for my own face with pudding-covered fingers.
We goofed around for a little while until I decided that I'd have to get cranking if I wanted to get to the Clearwater's house on time and cleaned up the pudding. Ciara, leaning on the counter behind us, pressed a hand to her forehead as I gave CJ a bath and sighed to herself. It was so slow and sad that I looked at her even moreso out of the corner of my eye.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm just...tired."
I knew the feeling.
"Well, anyway, I'm going over to the Clearwater's house for dinner tonight. See you later." I dressed CJ as fast as I could - the stupid minute hand on the clock seemed to be moving faster by the second - and checked to make sure that no pudding was on my own clothing. There wasn't, so I left on time. But barely.
The first thing I saw when I went into the Clearwater's house was Embry, Seth, and Jared, all gathered around a computer and playing a game with a lot of explosions in it. "Hurry up, Jared, it's about to get you!" Embry practically shouted, nearly hopping up and down on the spot. Jared said something in response that I couldn't hear and 'Game Over' covered the screen. All three of them cussed at the same second.
"Willow!" Sue sang as soon as I stepped in, looking as though she were about to hug me but stopping midway at the sight of CJ. None of the Wrestlers turned around. "It's so good to see you! I'm really glad you could make it. And who's this? He's adorable!"
She said the last word with great force, as though I might be offended if she didn't actually mean it. And then it clicked into place. God, what was upwith La Push? Everyone assumed CJ was my kid. True, it was easy to assume that from the way he looked just like me and I carried him around with me wherever I went, but honestly...
"He's my little brother, CJ. My mom had to do something tonight, actually, so I had to bring him along," I lied apologetically. Sue nodded, looking relieved. As if it would be a bad thing if CJ was actually mine. But maybe she was just happy I didn't have to go through the troubles of parenting so young.
At that moment, I noticed Leah sitting on a couch nearby. She cleared her throat. "Ahem." I looked over at her to see if it was something with me, but she was staring at Seth.
"Ahem," she repeated.
Sue dragged me into the kitchen. It was a cozy place, with pictures all over the walls and mismatched chairs sitting at a table bigger than our family car. "I'm sure I have a high chair from the kids' baby days," she babbled.
"Oh, no, that's okay, Sue, thanks. He can just sit with me."
"Yeah, but..." Sue trailed off and wandered into the garage. I stood there and looked around the room. There was a picture of Leah on the wall in a swimsuit and sitting in the sand of the beach, looking more like a model than a regular person. Then there was Seth, Paul, and Sam sitting on the steps of some house and laughing, looking carefree as could be. In another picture, a slightly aged man smiled warily at the camera, looking like he'd woken up after a good night's sleep. He had Seth and Leah's eyes, and I guessed that this was Mr. Clearwater. I wondered why he was never around. Maybe he just had a demanding job.
"Dammit, Seth!" shouted Leah from the living room, scaring the crap out of me. Both CJ and I jumped and the sound of something being thrown shortly followed.
"What?!" Seth yelled back, and whatever Leah had thrown fell to the ground. "What do you want, Leah?!"
She hissed something at him in a voice too low for me to hear and there was a loud "Oh." Jared and Embry laughed at him and Seth said, "Shut up." He walked into the kitchen and grinned at me.
"Hey, Willow. Sorry I didn't notice you come in before."
"Oh, it's okay. I don't really care."
Seth sat down in a pink chair and waved a hand around. "This room is pretty stupid-looking, isn't it? I've always thought so."
"No, uh, it's...nice."
He snorted. "Ummph. If you say so."
Sue came in with a clattering sound and a crash. Smiling, she plopped down a high chair in the house, closed the door behind her, and dragged it over to the table. "Found one!" she exclaimed.
"Thank you!"
"It was nothing." She looked at me, and then Seth, and back and forth, and smiled for some odd reason. Then she moved to the stove, stirred something around in a pot, and yelled, "Dinner's ready, everyone!"
There was the sound of a bunch of crashing and a chair squealing, and Jared, Embry, and Leah all crammed themselves in the room at the same second. Leah had her arms crossed over her chest and was scowling at Seth, lower lip sticking out slightly, but Seth did not notice. He was too busy cramming food in his mouth.
All of the Wrestlers were. Embry was already on his second loaf - entire loaf - of bread. I realized that I was just staring at him, mouth wide open, with my fork hovering over my plate. Nobody noticed me; Sue was talking to Leah, CJ was sitting in his high chair and sucking on his thumb, and Embry and Seth were stuffing their faces. Eventually, Seth looked over at me.
"What?" he asked, sounded suddenly scared, like he'd been trying to impress me and had made a huge, embarrassing mistake.
"It's - uh - it's nothing," I stammered. Seth nodded and went back to his food.
"So Willow," he said after a moment, breaking the short period of silence, and Embry laughed. He laughed a lot when Seth was talking to me, I noticed. Seth ignored me and continued on: "What's your favorite band?"
And I thought I was weird. "Ummm. I don't know. I don't really have one. But I do like the Ramones."
"The Ramones? Really? I like them, too. And Embry told me I was the only one."
"Embry, you're stupid," I joked.
"I know I am. That's what you love about me, isn't it?"
"Oh, yeah, totally."
I felt at ease eating dinner at the Clearwater's. The atmosphere, however, was one I'd never felt before yet still recognized - happy, loving, like an actual family who cared for each other lived there. At first I was odd, out of place. But then I got used to it, I guess you could say. This was a nice feeling. I liked this house, this family. A part of me, deep down, yearned to have one like this of my own. I knew it would never happen, however, so I was just wasting my time hoping.
Later, I looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was nearly ten. Good God, I'd been here a long time. We were all sitting around the table, food long gone, and talking. I felt full and content, something I couldn't remember experiencing before.
CJ was curled up in my arms, peacefully dozing the night away, and he moved around a little bit when I stood up. Five pairs of eyes followed me. "Where're you going?" Jared asked.
"Home. It's getting late."
I thanked the Clearwaters for having me over and left. The night was hot, but I didn't care. I walked through La Push more awake than I'd thought I'd be, considering I burned up energy like the speed of light no matter how much sleep I got, but when I tripped over the top step and stumbled into the house, I felt exhausted.
It was oddly quiet, and I guessed that Heather and Ciara were out somewhere. CJ was asleep in his crib and I was changing into my pajamas when, from downstairs, the phone rang.