Author's Note: I just want to clear something up really quick. Yes, I am poking a little fun at some aspects of the Twilight series, but it's just for humorous purposes, and my attempt at humor. I absolutely love the Twilight series, and I'm just trying to be a tad bit funny. Not mean in any way. Just wanted to get that out of the way to make sure no one misunderstands me.
Disclaimer: I forgot to put a disclaimer in my other two chapters, so this will be for all three. I own absolutely nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything. She even owns my plot lines because they wouldn't be possible without her novels.
July 14th Quote:
Tanya: "Ah, Edward. I've missed you."
My guess is that either the Denali coven came to the wedding, or Bella and Edward's honeymoon could be in Alaska. Either way it'll be total awesomeness. Onward and upward.
Edward and Bella are nearing the house of the Denali coven in Alaska
Edward: holds Bella's hand as he drives at inhumanly vast speeds
Bella: humming to herself I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon. La la la, gonna get in Edward's pants…
Edward: coaching himself in his head Alright Edward, you've got a big week ahead. You've got to face a crazy, potentially deadly strawberry-blond vampire that you turned down decades ago, you've got to become one with the love of your life, and then you have to eternally damn her to vampire-ey hell. You can do it man!
Bella: La la la, Edward's pants.
Edward: We're here.
Tanya: comes out to greet Edward that little gardening tool he picked for a mate Hello!
Bella: smiles politely and waves
Edward: smiles Hey Tanya, good to see you again.
Tanya: motions towards door Please, come in.
Edward: enters and sits down on couch in living room
Bella: follows and does the same
Tanya: comes to sit on other side of Edward Ah, Edward. puts hand on his thigh I've missed you.
Edward: looks uncomfortable
Bella: waits for Tanya to remove her hand from Edward's thigh, but kinda snaps when she doesn't Back off, bitch. He already rejected you. Let it go.
Tanya: stands up You little whore, you don't deserve him! You're human!
Bella: stands up too Yeah, for a couple more days!
Tanya: Wh-what? looks at Edward, who still looks uncomfortable You're changing her?
Edward: nods
Tanya: Bu-but, Eddiepuss, we had something special.
Edward: sighs As I've told you before, we had nothing.
Tanya: Humph. stalks away defeated
Haha, I kinda enjoyed writing this chapter. Did you enjoy reading it? I hope so.