DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters.

Previously… George and Izzie discovered what was in the locked room: it was a young girl's bedroom. "Her" bedroom was unbelievably beautiful and somewhat over the top. She had everything she could possibly want or need, and more. There were photos throughout the room, many of a 3 year old named Miley. Meredith was going out somewhere at night, wouldn't tell anyone where, and no one had any idea what she was up to.

Meredith was alone downstairs. Knowing George and Izzie were upstairs, she went to the kitchen and made herself dinner in the blender. Her special shake. Sitting at the table drinking it, she sighed, already so tired of living two lives. She had gotten so used to her normal, busy life as a surgeon the last 3 years, that she was having a hard time adjusting to her old way of living. She was scared. Of course she would never admit it to anyone, but how could she not be terrified after what had occurred 4 years ago. Meredith knew it was a possibility that something similar could happen again. Either to her or someone she loved. Being Meredith Grey, resident at Seattle Grace Hospital, as long as possible was everyone's best bet at safety.

Finishing her shake, she ran to the car, made sure she had what she needed, and headed out to her "other life".

CHAPTER 3

Meredith didn't get much sleep that night. She had arrived home at midnight only to have to go back to her "other life" at 3 a.m.., and still somehow not be late for her 12 hour shift at the hospital at 6 a.m. She didn't know how much longer she could handle this constant exhaustion from the lack of sleep and continuous energy and precision needed for her "other life". Stumbling out of her car, sighing as she rubbed her eyes, she continued to drink her special homemade shake: breakfast. As Meredith entered the lobby of Seattle Grace, she spotted Derek and Rose nearing the elevator hand in hand. There was no way she was going to ride the elevator with the two of them, so she opted for the stairs. Halfway up, dizziness crept up on her. "Thank God no one's around. That's all I need, something else the staff can whisper about behind my back," she whispered to herself as she leaned against the wall. "My body just needs to get used to this eating schedule again. I mean I did it for nearly 20 years, I can do it for another 4 months," she thought while finishing her shake. Once the dizziness passed she headed for the resident locker room. Everyone stared at her as she entered; her friends making worried eye contact with each other.

"You look like crap. Who was it last night? Shepard?" Alex asked.

"Fuck off," Meredith said, annoyed.

As her friends and fellow residents changed by the lockers, Meredith decided it would be better privately change in the restroom.

As soon as she was out of sight, the whispering began.

"Dude what's with her?" Alex questioned.

"She still wasn't home from her "mystery outing" when I went to bed last night," Izzie stated.

"I heard her come home around midnight and she was gone before we all left. Where do you think she goes? It's not the first time she's done something like that. In fact, it's been happening a lot for the past month or so," added George.

"She looks awful! Did you guys notice the bags under her eyes? Not to mention how pale she is," Izzie asked full of concern.

"I didn't think she could get any paler," joked Alex causing Izzie to roll her eyes.

"She's like a ghost," commented George.

"You can tell she's lost some weight, which is the last thing she needs. If anything she needs to put on some pounds," Izzie declared.

"Let's make sure she eats a sandwich," said George.

"Leave her alone! We all know she and McDreamy broke up and right away he starts love wrestling with NURSE Rose. She's dark and twisty Meredith right now, so of course she's not gonna look like a fucking model. Just back off," Christina snapped.

Meredith could hear them whispering about her, but had no idea what they were saying. She expected it from the staff, but not her friends. She finished changing quickly, but instead of joining them by the lockers, she just sat there on the toilet lid, thinking.

She knew the announcement would be made in a few weeks. The question was, were her enemies going to find out before that? So, everyday she had to be prepared in case the "shit hit the fan", so to speak. "Be prepared for anything Mer. You know they're going to come," she whispered to herself before exiting the stall.

"Since when do you change alone in the bathroom instead of out here?" Christina questioned just as she joined them.

Shrugging, Meredith headed towards the door stopping near George. "What are doing in here? Last time I checked you were still an INTERN, which means you shouldn't be in the RESIDENT'S locker room," emphasizing the word intern.

"I just stopped by to say hi," George defended as he questioningly looked at the others.

"Rounds are soon. Don't be late," was Meredith's only response as she walked out of the locker room to get ready to round.

Walking down the hall, she berated herself for attacking George. She was just stressed out; she didn't mean it. "Why did I do that? Who cares if he's in the locker room?" she whispered rubbing her forehead and eyes with her hand.

Meredith and her interns were almost through with rounds as they entered the room of Jacob Deemer. Mr. Deemer had been in an automobile accident. His brain was slowly bleeding and he had horrible deep cuts on his face needing the assistance of both Dr. Shepard and Dr. Sloan. Both doctors were already in the private room along with Jacob's wife and four kids as Meredith and her interns entered. Meredith wasn't looking forward to being in the same room as Derek, but it was her job. There wasn't anything she could do about it. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, as much as she wanted to.

Derek Shepard looked towards the door as the love of his life entered. Shocked by what he saw, he couldn't help but stare. She looked awful, so pale and thin. "What is going on? I hope this has nothing to do with me," he thought.

Meredith knew he was staring without even looking. She could feel his eyes locked on her, but she didn't have it in her to meet them. Instead, she looked up at Dr. Mark Sloan, meeting his knowing and tentative smile. "At least I'm not lying to everyone," she thought as she half heartedly returned the smile.

As Derek filled Jacob and his wife in on the surgery he was to have that day, his four kids, two girls and two boys, played rough and very loudly. The boys had just come from some sort of baseball game or practice because they were dressed in uniform and carried their bats. Still extremely wound up, one boy started swinging his bat around. It took only one out of control swing for the kid to accidentally smack Meredith in her left knee.

Letting out a cry, she grabbed her knee, instantly falling to the ground. Derek tried rushing over, but Mark threw a hand out stopping him. "I've got it."

"What did I tell you about playing with your bat inside Jesse? Honey, apologize to the nice doctor," Mrs. Janet Deemer sternly said.

"Sorry doctor," the boy, Jesse, said from his hiding place behind his mother's legs.

"It's….um….ok," Meredith said, breathing heavily to try and mask the pain she was in as she stared at Mark for help.

George was shocked at how fast Meredith went down. In fact, he thought it strange. Even though she had been a real bitch to him earlier, he knelt down to try and help her. Mark reached her quickly. "Dr. O'Malley I'll handle this. Go back to your fellow interns."

George thought it was definitely out of the ordinary that Dr. Sloan was so bent on being the one to help her. Maybe that's where she had been lately. With Sloan. "Oh my God!" George thought, just as Dr. Sloan was trying to help Meredith stand. She whimpered in pain. Mark knew he had to get her to the Chief as fast as possible, so he scooped her up in his arms.

Derek wanted nothing more than to be Mark at that very instant, holding the woman he would always love. To try and help in some way, he took it upon himself to finish Meredith's rounds with her interns.

"You ok?" Mark whispered to her.

"Of course he couldn't hit my right leg. It HAD to be the left!" she whispered back doing everything she could to not cry.

"Maybe you should let Derek take a look at it."

She raised her voice, "NO! He can't know anything!"

"Everyone's going to find out eventually Meredith. Don't you think it would be better if it came from you?"

"No, if I'm lucky I won't be here when they find out. Or maybe I'll luck out and no one will ever find out. Maybe by some miracle I'll always be Dr. Meredith Grey to them."

"You know as well as me, that the day is coming given your appearance.

"What do you mean 'Given my appearance?'" she asked.

"Well look at you. You've lost weight and you're exhausted. For you, that can mean only one thing. Speaking of which, what made you decide to go back?"

A distant, solemn look overcame her face, "I have to. For her."

By this time they were at the chief's office. Since Sloan's hands were full she knocked on the door. "Come in," the chief bellowed.

The moment Dr. Webber saw Meredith being carried, he panicked. He hoped a day like this would never come. "What the hell happened?"

Careful not to cause any more damage to her knee, Mark slowly placed her on the couch.

After explaining what had happened, Mark wished her well and left, knowing that he would have to keep Derek from trying to go to her.

Meredith pulled up the leg of her scrubs so he could examine her left knee better. He stared down at the bandage and tape that she revealed. It started above her knee and disappeared into her left shoe. "Was your leg already bothering you?" he asked as he slowly began removing the bandage to get a better look at her knee.

"No, I just want to be prepared," she replied.

Her statement stopped him in his tracks. He took a deep breath and finished examining her injury. "I want you to get an MRI."

"I'm fine. Plus an MRI's a big magnet; therefore, I'd have to get a CAT SCAN."

Exasperated, he rubbed his head. "That's what I meant. I know you can't have an MRI," he said eyeing her knowingly. "But I've got to tell you, I think it's a mistake not to get the scan Meredith."

"Trust me I've had worse things happen. I don't want to take the chance of anyone seeing the results."

"You mean you don't want Dr. Shepard to see it?"

Meredith was frustrated. "What's up with everyone assuming that every action I make lately has to do with Derek? I don't care about him. He's dating Rose!" she yelled.

"Well I'll give you a shot of pain medicine then, but you have to go home…and stay there for the day," He tried to negotiate.

"Yeah sure, whatever. I promise," she murmured.

He left her alone in his office for a few minutes to get the fentanyl. "Seriously? Seriously? Of all the times this could happen, it had to be now. No, it couldn't be in four months!" Meredith ranted to herself just as he came back.

He injected the fentanyl in her arm, "So I see you've made your decision?"

"Yes, I have to do it. Contrary to yours and Dr. Sloan's beliefs, I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing it for her,"

"I understand, but it's only going to be more dangerous for her."

"Only for a few months. Then everyone will be safe," she argued. "I can protect her," she added.

"But will you be safe?" he questioned.

"I can take care of myself. Plus I won't be alone; I'll have help."

Sitting down on the other side of the couch, the chief took on a serious tone in his voice "Since you've decided to go through with it, you're going to have to sign the contract we talked about."

Defeated, she sighed. "I know. Where is it? I'll do it now."

The chief stood up, walked to his desk drawer, and pulled out the contract he himself had written and typed. He paused on the way back, looking at her with eyes full of worry, but something else was there too. Pride. He was proud of her, but also scared. She couldn't bear to tell him that she too was terrified.

"I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. If you want I'll help you put an end to this," he told her.

"I know Richard. I wouldn't even be able to go back if it wasn't for you. However, I have to finish this on my own." He nodded with understanding. "But, I am sure I'll be needing your help for certain things," she hinted while looking at her left leg.

He handed Meredith the papers. "Do they say what we previously discussed?" she asked skimming them.

"Yes. However, the question is…are you going to go back on your word and violate the contract? I devised it with only your safety in mind. It took you years to get to this point, I don't want to see you backtrack."

"Of course. I'll stick to it," she lied knowing she couldn't win if she did. She quickly scribbled her name and handed it back. He too signed the agreement between the two of them.

"Alright. Do you need help getting to your car?"

"No. I don't want to draw anymore attention to myself," she said.

Slowly putting weight on her injury, she headed for the door where Richard stood. "Here's your new prescription. Only take it when necessary," he said, handing her the small paper.

"I know. I am a doctor after all," she smiled. "Thank you. For everything the past few years," she whispered to him as they hugged.

"No problem. You're like the daughter I never had. Just make sure you come to me if you have a problem," he said when she pulled away.

"Yeah, I will."

He sadly watched her as she limped slightly down the hall. "She's too young to have to deal with this. Dammit Ellis, how could you put her in this position?" he thought.