Chapter 13 – Desperation
CSI, Las Vegas
'click' ... 'click' ... 'click' ... The sound of a ball-pen being pushed on and off again and again. In one edge of the lab there was a man sitting, looking at the wall on the opposite site of the room with unseeing eyes. People passing by didn't seem to notice him. If they had, they would have seen the painful expression in his eyes.
'click' ... 'click' ... 'click' ... Nick neither noticed the sound, nor that it were his hands which were fumbling with the ball-pen. Even if he had, he would not have cared.
Everything he was able to think of were the last hours. Arriving home finding the door of the flat broken – the message on the bathroom mirror – realizing someone had kidnapped Sara. Sara! The very thought of her in fear, kept somewhere by someone as cruel and mercyless as Belverde's brother drove him mad.
And the worst thing of all was, that he could not do a thing. Grissom, Warrick and Greg were still busy in his flat, searching for any clue, that might help them. After Nick had called Catherine they had been there in no time, trying to calm him down, but their tries had failed miserably. They did not know what he knew...
Nick reached for his bag and touched the pregnancy test. Now that he knew he was going to be a father he sould have been happy allover, telling everyone with pride and joy. He should have been celebrating with Sara...
Nick forced down the tears and groaned quietly. An ice-cold hand held his heart, slowly but mercylessly squeezing it.
"Nick?"
He looked up an realized it was Catherine who had finally noticed him and who now came closer.
"What are you doing here?"
Nick shrugged his shoulders.
"The police and the team... they are still busy in the flat. I didn't know where to go, so..." He did not finish the sentence.
Catherine smiled at him gently and softly put a hand on his shoulder.
"Look, I'm going home now – I have to say good morning to Lindsay and prepare her for school. Would you like to join me? I could offer you some coffee, something to eat, my couch – whatever you like."
Nick wasn't sure if he was up for company, but this was definitely better than staying in the lab, so he nodded.
"Alright. Thank you."
Catherine's appartment, Las Vegas
Catherine took out her key and opened the door. Almost immediately a girl's voice sounded from the inside:
"Mommy?"
Catherine smiled and gestured Nick to step in before shouting:
"Yes, Lindsay-darling, it's me. I've brought Nick Stokes from the lab, do you remember?"
Nick stood in the hallway and felt uneasy when Lindsay rushed in, wearing a pink nightgown. Her blonde hair flew around her head when she hugged her mother who lifted her up.
That scenery hurt Nick more than he would have imagined. He was glad when Catherine led him to the living room where he sat down on the sofa while Catherine prepared breakfast and watched Lindsay getting ready for school.
On the way from the lab to the appartment they hadn't talked a lot. Even though it had been a rather unpleasant silence, Nick had preferred it – compared to even more tries to calm him.
Nick sighed and shook his head, then he took a look around. He noticed that the living room was comfy. The furniture, the decoration – everything seemed to be in place. Nick wished he could have appreciated the harmonic furnishing more, but his thoughts went back to Sara.
Tears of fear and anger filled his eyes. He had never been the one who attended church regularly, but now he prayed Sara was fine and that Belverde's brother had not done anything to her.
From the hallway he heard Catherine's voice:
"Lindsay, don't forget to take your sun hat. On the radio they've said it'll be the hottest day of the week. And tomorrow there'll be a real bad thunderstorm."
"Yes, mom", Lindsay's voice answered and a moment later her head popped in.
"Goodbye, Nick."
Nick twinkled the tears away and gave her a smile.
"Goodbye, Lindsay. Have a nice day at school."
She smiled back at him.
"Thank you."
She disappeared and shortly after he heard her say goodbye to her mother, too, then she was gone.
Catherine came in with two cups and the tasty smell of coffee filled the air.
"I thought you might like some...", Catherine said and handled Nick one of the cups. "Would you like something to eat?"
Nick shook his head.
"I'm not hungry, thank you." Then he took a careful sip of the steaming liquid. Still he burned his tongue. The physical pain was welcome to him – it helped a little to take his focus away from the mental pains that tortured him.
He was aware of the fact that Catherine was watching him, but he avoided eye-contact. Finally she cleared her throat and asked:
"Do you want to talk?"
Nick shook his head and put the cup on the coffee table. All he could think of, was to flee; he just felt too much forced onto the defensive.
"Would you please tell me where I find the bathroom?", he asked and stood up.
Catherine just nodded.
"It's the second door on the right side."
As Nick started to walk he felt his bag fell onto the floor, so he grabbed it in hurry and threw it back onto the sofa before he quickly left the room.
In the bathroom, he laid his hands on the washbasin, lowered his head and closed his burning eyes. This whole situation was more than he could bear. He wishd he could be somewhere on his own, even though he knew his demons would be hunting him even more then.
In his mind he saw Sara's face and her pained eyes begging him to rescue her and their unborn child.
Nick moaned and lifted his head. When he opened his eyes he saw his reflection in the mirror and if he had had the power left he would have been appalled by his outer appearance. He seemed years older, deep wrinkles surrounded his tired, reddened eyes and the three-day beard underlined his rather shabby appearance.
He grit his teeth and pushed himself off the washbasin. He'd stay only as long as really necessary – which meant until the others returned to the lab to evaluate the clues. Then he would join them. He desperately needed to know if they had found something.
With his hand he stroke through his short-cut brown hair and went back to the living room. When he opened the door he noticed Catherine held something in her hand. As he came closer, he realized what it was and stopped in the movement. Catherine slowly turned around to face him and the expression in her eyes seemed a mixture of shock and pain, but above all of compassion.
"You've lost something when your bag fell down...", she quietly said and held out her hand with the item.
It was the positive pregnancy test.
Nick pressed his lips together, took the test and slumped down on the sofa. A million thoughts rushed through his head and he could not catch one. When Catherine finally put a hand on his arm and asked "Is Sara...?", something inside of him broke.
Tears ran down his face when he nodded, and he was shaken by sobs.
Catherine gently stroke his back and kept silent. There was nothing she could have said to calm his pains. Now that she was able to see the whole extent of the situation, she admired how long Nick had seemed so calm to the outside.
Finally Nick was quiet. The exhaustion of the last day and night took it's toll and he could hardly keep his eyes open.
Catherine fetched a blanket and when she came back in, Nick was already asleep, lying on his right side on the sofa. Catherine took off his shoes and tucked him in, then she quietly left the room.
A jingle cut the silence and Nick scared up, finding himself on a strange sofa under a blanket to keep him warm. It took hm one moment to remember where he was and another one to realize he had been woken by the jingle of his mobile.
He lifted himself up and grabbed his bag from which's inside the melody still resounded. Finally he found the mobile and looked on the display, hoping to see it was Warrick or Grissom phoning to tell him they found something.
He was disappointed to see it was none of them, but an anonymus caller
"Hello?", he said.
"Nick Stokes?, a male voice sounded, blurred by a cracking telephone connection.
Apprehension took part of Nick when he confirmed.
The crackling voice only said two sentences, but even though the line was bad, Nick could very well hear the cold hatred in it.
"We have your girl. If my brother will be killed, she will be, too!"
Author's note: So - it took a while, but as I promised I did not leave you hanging as long as last time. So I used a bit of my vacation to make up this chapter. I hope I'll soon manage to write the rest. I hope you like it! I'd love to read you reviews!