Kitty looked at Hyde sleeping next to Jackie. It was so heartbreaking. This tiny little girl, who had been through so much, and Steven, who loved her so. She always knew he did. Even before he did. They had a volatile relationship. But behind their greatest fights, was always great love & passion. But Kitty knew she had to get Hyde out of the room before he was banned from the hospital.

"Steven, honey, wake up. You need to get out of here before rounds. I'll take you home."

"I'm not leaving."

"Steven, I'm not kidding here. When the doctors come around, you need to be out of this room. And you could use some rest. And a shower."

"What if she wakes up when I'm not here. I don't want her to be alone."

"Honey, she'll be out for a while yet. You have some time. Some time to get yourself together. For Jackie. She'll need you later, you can't help her if they kick you out of the hospital"

"I'd sneak back in"

"Now is not the time for being a criminal. Or stubborn. Or being a porky mouth. And if you bothered to take your head out of your ass for a minute you'd see that." Kitty paused for a moment, because she didn't mean to yell at Hyde.

"I'll stay here until you come back. Will that help?"

"yeah." That would be okay. Mrs. Forman would tell him what was going on. He could trust her.

Trust. One of his biggest problems.

Hyde looked at Jackie's still unconscious body and thanked Kitty for staying with her. He took his coat and drove back to the basement and the tiny room that was his bedroom. So many memories in that room. The whole house, really.

After showering and changing clothes, Hyde stared at his jacket. He wanted to read her note, but there was no going back after that. His life had already changed the minute that Jackie entered that hospital, and he knew he wouldn't be the same again. If Jackie didn't make it, his life was over. He wasn't going to be able to forgive himself, either way. Hyde thought back to what Forman had said to him, right before they got the call about Jackie.

"You still love her, don't you?"

"I never told you that."

"You don't have to. If you really wanted her gone, no matter what you've said, you would have left town. You never left. You tried to drive her away, treated her like crap, married a stripper, slept with everything with a heartbeat, drank yourself silly all in an attempt to either driver her away or make her go away. But you wanted her to fight for you two. And the only thing that's happened is that you both are miserable…You're incapable of hurting someone. Unless you're trying to protect them. Or yourself. That's what you've been doing. You don't think you can get her back, so you keep pushing her away."

And Hyde couldn't help thinking about what Donna had said to him right before she and Forman left the hospital.

"Start by reading Jackie's note…She still loves you" Donna murmured as the doors shut

Hyde swallowed hard and reached into his pocket, grabbing the pink note that, if he allowed himself, smelled like lavender. And he began to read…

To Whom It May Concern:

If you're reading this, you know what I've done. I couldn't take it anymore. I've never liked being alone, and well, this is about as alone as it gets. I never wanted to hurt anyone and by doing this I don't mean to hurt you. I've always loved my friends; you've been my family. More than my blood family. I just can't continue to keep living this way.

Mr. & Mrs. Forman: Thank you for making your home such a wonderful place to be. So loving and so welcoming. Please don't let your grandchildren forget me. Otherwise, they'll be skinny Star Wars freaks or sluts but either way, they won't have a fashion sense. I'll always be grateful for your help in my life.

Fezzy: Thank you for all your years of adoring me. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, but I have always treasured your friendship and loyalty. I hope you find happiness. You deserve it.

Eric: Welcome back twizzler! I wish I could be there for when you finally marry Donna. She's too good for you, but you make her happy. I don't get it, but always know that your love is eternal. And you belong together. Thank you for always being my friend – even though you think I'm the devil. Take care of Donna and Steven. You're like his brother. He needs you.

Michael: Thank you for being my first love. I hope your daughter grows up to know what a fine father she has. You make sure you do right by her or I'll haunt you from beyond. You know I can do that. You're a good man, Michael. Don't let me down.

Donna: My favorite lumberjack. My best friend. You & your dad took me in when I was so alone. Your friendship always meant so much to me, even when you didn't know it. Or I was driving you crazy. But I always admired you, because you were respected for being yourself. And you tried to hold on to your beliefs. Be happy with Eric. Please don't let Steven blame himself for this. I know he'll try. Look after him; invite him over for holidays. Include him in your lives. He's always been alone too.

Steven: My darling. Puddin' Pop. I can't believe it's come to this. I forgive you for everything. I could never hate you. I mean, I hate what you do sometimes, but not you. I love you. I've always loved you. Even when I was with Michael. I know that now. We had a connection that was always there. It will always be there. Carry me in your heart. I will never leave you. It was too painful to see what we'd become to each other. We're both responsible for what happened between us. But you are not responsible for this. This was my decision. I want you to be happy. I just wish I was the one who could have given you the home that you've searched for. The life you wanted, but didn't dare dream about. I'm so tired. I just can't fight anymore. Please forgive me for doing this. You are a good person. Please don't forget that. Or me.

Hyde put the letter down. It had taken him three attempts at reading it in order for him to finish it. They were all so stupid. And he was the most stupid. How could he have ever thought that getting away from her would help. Why didn't he fight for her? Why did he give up so easily? Why didn't he do anything? She was worth it. More than worth it. She had fought for them for so long, until she couldn't fight anymore. She was everything to him. And now…

He never thought she'd forgive him. He was too scared to even consider the possibility of her forgiving him. He was angry at himself for not doing what he wanted after Sam left. To go to Jackie and try to explain why he did what he did. He was too afraid. Now he might lose her totally. The pain of not being with her was one thing. The pain of her not living was worse. So much worse. He couldn't even imagine a world where her sparkling smile wasn't in it. Even when she was mad at him. The fire that raged in her eyes always had so much life in it. What if she was losing her life? What if she did this again? He couldn't take that thought. As hard as the next few hours were going to be, he knew what he had to do. He grabbed his coat and took off out of the basement for the hospital…