Author's Note: Again, very sorry for the delay. But I'm here now. And it's good, I hope. I actually wrote a story for this one! It was too good an idea for me to pass up. Also, this chapter is dedicated to IsabellaMarieCullen3214, for inspiring the sparkling you-know-what. Check out her story, Insert witty title here. And if she reads this, I am intending no copyright infringement on her humor.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I don't own IsabellaMarieCullen3214's joke. I do however own the Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head (they like to be called Horace).
July 29th Quote:
Seth: "You'll hurt her. Let her go."
Laughs nervously You don't think anybody will get…seriously hurt, do you? Do you? No, of course not. No one will get hurt…that bad. No. Never. Trying to reassure herself that everything will be okay. I would think that someone is hurting Leah or Bella. Like Jacob has gone crazy and his trying to hurt Bella, but I don't really think that will happen. Maybe the Volturi are causing trouble.
somewhere in Canada
Jacob: eye twitch Ha, ha ha ha ha, I'll teach her to choose the bloodsucker over me! What does he have that I don't?!
Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: Bella. A sparkling penis.
Jacob: Shut up!
Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: We can't shut up, we're not even real. We're just figments of your demented imagination.
Jacob's Demented Imagination: imagining that the voices are quiet
Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: …
Jacob: Ha! drives back to Forks
A Few Hours Later
Bella: G'night Dad. closes door to bedroom, lays on bed to wait for Edward
Jacob: from the shadows in a creepy stalker voice Hello, Bella.
Bella: oblivious Jacob! You're back! runs to hug him
Jacob: hugs back Yes, I'm back. Miss me? tightens hold
Bella: Uh, Jacob…little too tight.
Jacob: doesn't let go I suppose you didn't miss me, did you? You were too busy frolicking with the bloodsucker!
Bella: Jake, what are you talking about?
Jacob: Well, Bella, you'll pay. Ha, yes you will pay for choosing him. drags Bella away to LaPush
in LaPush
Jacob: takes Bella just over the boundary line in an attempt to taunt the vampire who can't cross it and will definitely show up
The Pack: Jacob! We've seen the plan in your mind! Don't do it, man!
Edward: shows up Leave her alone, mutt!
Jacob: turns Bella so that her back is tightly against his chest and she is facing Edward
Bella: Edward, help!
Jacob: Oh, but dear Bella, he can't, can he? You're over the boundary line.
Bella: Bastard.
Jacob: I would choose your words carefully, since your life is in my hands. pulls out knife and holds it against her throat
Bella: Gasp!
Seth: You'll hurt her. Let her go.
Jacob: Always the caring one, aren't we Seth? Hurting her is the point.
Seth: Jacob, please.
Jacob: Nah.
Bella: Jacob, please! Please don't do this.
Jacob: Shut up! presses knife harder to her throat
Edward: Listen mutt –
Jacob: growls and presses knife harder
Edward: I mean Jacob. Listen, please, just let her go. No need to do anything rash.
Jacob: I loved her! I picked up the pieces when YOU left her, you ignorant boob! You were an idiot; you left the best girl in the world! Why should you be forgiven so easily!?
Edward: Jacob, I'm not the only one whose hurt her.
Jacob: growls in warning and is now very close to cutting Bella's throat
Bella: whimpers
Jacob: What are you talking about?
Edward: I've seen her cry over you many times. How do you think she felt when you told her you'd rather see her dead than become a vampire? She didn't punch you after you kissed her the first time because she loved you and wanted to be with you forever.
Jacob: drops knife You – you're right. I've hurt her. I'm more of a threat than you. She should've chosen you. She was right. I was…wrong. releases Bella and drops to knees
Bella: runs over boundary line and into Edward's arms
Edward: holds her tightly
Jacob: in hysterics I'm sorry Bella. So sorry. cries to the heavens I'M SORRY!
The Pack: takes knife safe distance away, puts Jacob in straight jacket, and sends him to the wacky shack
What do ya think?