Killing the people we hate
Disclaimer: If you think we own Harry Potter, we will kill you too.
This is with me and a friend that doesn't have an account. Have fun reading, and don't call the police on us.
Just another day at Hogwarts… until we stole Ron's wand.
Then, just to make everything even more fun, we kidnapped Harry.
Why would we take these two things, you ask? Because we had a plan.
We turned Harry into a rug! Of course, he still had all his nerves, so he could feel everything (but couldn't die). First, we ran over him with a lawn mower. After he was delightedly disheveled, we threw him in a really dirty pool. He was so funky he looked like dirt.
To get him out, we stabbed him with a hook and dragged him out. With Ron's wand, we made it so that he wouldn't burn, but would still feel the pain, then we put him in a fire.
When he was nice and crispy, we put him in a meat grinder, so he was shredded into strands.
After that, we buried the rug, and turned him back to his old human, mortal self, so he could slowly be crushed to death.
To finish off our brilliant scheme, we told dear Ronald about this. But, for some reason, he couldn't find his new wand to kill himself with, so he had to use his broken wand. We had planned for this, and Hermione was standing in the perfect spot.
Ron's wand backfired, and killed Hermione instead!
Also, because of our super powers, this somehow made Ron immortal so he can't kill himself.
And, therefore, all the people we hate are dead!