The music was quieter in the corner where Ray and Sam had taken me. I sat between them, head lowered, not knowing what to say or do feeling incredibly awkward.

"Neela…" Ray finally spoke "What the hell do you think you were doing? Getting drunk and groping random strangers? Fighting…this isn't like you Neela…"

I look up at him and shrug "I needed a change. Was tired of leading my boring life…can you just move so I can get out of here please?" I was pretending to be angrier then I actually was, hoping they would fall for it and leave me alone.

Sam scootches out of the seat, freeing up me an escape and I move quickly out of the cramped booth back into the open, letting a soft sigh slip loose before turning back to the dance floor.

"Neela wait…" Ray calls to me, and I stop, finding myself unable to take another step, my body turning to his voice uncontrollably.
"You shouldn't be doing this…"

I give him a silent look, trying my best to appear angry with him, uncaring when really all I felt was my heart breaking. All this time he had loved me and I had been blind to it, and now I had finally woken up and realized my true feelings for him, it was too late.
I turn my back to him and head back to the dance floor, accidentally running into someone, something I seemed to be doing a lot of recently.

"Well…come back for your beating have you?" The voice was familiar…and as I looked up, I saw why. The woman who had shoved me earlier stood in front of me, looking just as angry as she had earlier.
Not wanting to deal with her, I shake my head and move past her, heading to the bar and nodding at the bartender for a drink. "Something hard and strong…" I say simply, grabbing and downing the drink before he could fully set it down, and nodding for another. The bartender gives me a strange look then shrugs, pouring me another.

"I wasn't done with you." The girl's voice sounds from behind me "Stand up and let me get this over with.

I down the new drink set in front of me and take a breath. I was sick of this shit. Being the meek little bookworm Neela, always doing the right thing…fuck that…the voice of reason in me was fading with each drink I nodded at the bartender to pour me…I was tired of it all.

"Hey terrorist, I'm talking to you..." the girl's shrill voice speaks again, this time I don't ignore it.

Without a word, I spin quickly and jump off the stool, punching the woman with all I had right in that big gaping mouth of hers.

"I'll show you fucken terrorist…" I growl, punching her again before she could recover from the previous punch.


She gets to her feet and shoots me a glare, wiping the blood from her lip before charging at me, knocking me into the bar behind me. My empty glass, and that of a few others' at the bar crash to the floor upon impact. Working off pure adrenaline now, I shove her off me and send a punch to her midsection, followed by an uppercut to her jaw, having no idea how I all of a sudden learned to fight.

She grunts as my hits connect, but manages to punch me in the face, causing my nose to start bleeding. I wipe the blood away as she pulls away from me, circling me. This time it is me who runs at her, tackling her to the ground with all I could muster, punching her hard and fast multiple times to the face, letting out all the emotions I had been repressing the past few days.

"Neela!" I hear my name being called, but I ignore it and continue to beat the girl's face in, not even thinking about her or the comments she had made. Flashes of the past few days ran through my mind. Michael choosing the war over me, what I had selfishly done to Ray…finding him with her…

I feel myself being lifted from the girl, my arms still flailing in the air as I'm pulled away. I wasn't done yet. For some reason, wailing on that girl made me feel a hell of a lot better then all those shots and drinks I had…

"Back up I'm a nurse…" I heard Sam say, as she cut in front of me and knelt beside the bleeding girl, checking her over as I continue to struggle in the arms of my captor.

"Let me the hell down..." I grumble kicking whoever it was holding me, considering aiming for the groin and hoping they were male. Instead I lower my head and bite their hand.

"Oww Jesus Neela…calm down it's me…" I hear Ray's pained voice call out.
I relax slightly and look behind me to see that Ray was the one holding me down. I look away quickly, the humility of everything suddenly kicking in. What the hell was I doing?

"She's going to be ok." Sam says to the crowd that had formed while I was thrashing the girl, a crowd I hadn't seen until now.
"Let me go Ray I want to go home…" I say, trying to pull away from him. "Let me go home…"

Ray shakes his head "Neela you are trashed you can't drive home…Sam and I will give you a lift…" he lets go of me and I take a breath when my feet hit the floor again, trying to keep myself from lunging at the woman again…or lunging at Sam.
"You take her home…I'll stay here till the ambulance arrives…make sure she's ok." Sam says with a smile to Ray that made me feel sick.

Ray nods "Alright…you gonna come by after?"
Sam shakes her head "No…I should get home I have to pick up Alex in the morning from his friend's house and I said I'd spend the day with him…"
Ray nods and moves past me walking towards her, leaning down and kissing her, my stomach lurched forward and I was forced to look away.


"I'll catch you later then…" Ray said with a smile, walking back to me. Sam smiles and nods at him and I unknowingly cast her a glare. "Common Neela…" he says to me taking my arm gently and leading me to the exit.

The ride back to the apartment was excruciating and silent. I couldn't do anything but stare out the window, there was so much I wished I could say, but I knew it wouldn't matter. Nothing could change his mind now, and I owed it to him to do as he wished…let the love of my life go because I was a stupid moron and messed it up…as per usual.

Once back at the apartment, Ray immediately moved me to the couch, bringing a soft blue blanket from his room and wrapping me in it before vanishing to the kitchen, to make us some coffee. I curled up with the blanket, closing my eyes slightly, fighting back the tears that wanted so badly to fall.

"Here we go," he says coming back into the living room with two cups of steaming hot coffee and setting one down on the coffee table in front of me. "I added a couple extra's to yours…old Barnett family recipe…will help with the hangover tomorrow…" he offers me a small smile and sits down next to me. I shuffle over uncomfortably, to give him some space. "You know it's our anniversary," he says after a few minutes of silence, and I finally look at him with a confused look. "It has been exactly two years to the day that you moved in here with me…it's our roomieversary!"

I laugh and shake my head "Yea and I have done enough celebrating for the both of us…" I bring the mug to my lips, but before I could take a sip, the mug touches my nose and I cry out in pain, nearly dropping the hot mug.

"You all right?" he asks, reaching to take the mug before it fell to the floor. I grimace in pain and bring a hand to my nose, my eyes tearing slightly.
"I think my nose is broken…" I say quietly, pain in my voice.
"Yea that's that happens when you get punched there…you're a Doctor figured you of all people would know that…"

I give him a look and he smiles, standing and heading to the bathroom, returning with the first aid kit then sitting back down to examine my nose. I could still smell…which at this point was more of a curse then a blessing. He was so close as he put a small bandage on my nose; just the smell of him was more intoxicating then anything I had drank that night. When he was through, he backs up to examine his work.
"There…doesn't look broken but tomorrow you can have Abby or someone look at it a bit closer…" he gets up again, replacing the kit back to the bathroom, heading to the stereo when he returned. "How about some music? Something soothing…calming…"

I nod silently, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. He was being so sweet to me…I didn't deserve it. An old country song begins to play and I hear him walk back to the couch, but not sit.



Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

I open my eyes to see him standing in front of me, hand outstretched, a small smile on his face. "Care to dance?" he asks quietly, and I respond with a small smile and a nod. Rising to my feet, he takes my hand and leads me to the middle of the room, pulling me close to him, one hand gripping mine tightly, the other moving to wrap around my waist, my own free hand slowly moving around his neck. I rest my head against his chest, grateful for him doing this for me. I thought he would be angry with how I acted tonight; I had been expecting an argument when we arrived back home, not an old family remedy, a comfy blue blanket and a slow dance.

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine

If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm so sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

"That was really stupid of you tonight Neela…" he speaks finally, and my heart sinks. So much for the nice no argument dance.
"I know…" I respond quietly, my voice slightly muffled by his chest.
"You have so much potential…as a Doctor as a person…you don't need to pull this crap. All it will lead to is pain and more trouble then you could ever want…believe me I know. You are an amazing Doctor Neela…don't throw that away because of all this shit…you're way better then that."

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied

I nod and hold him tighter. "Am I? What have I done that's so great? I kicked my husband out for wanting to make a difference in the world, for wanting to serve his country…I used my best friend…hurt him…messed up any chance of being with him…I may be an alright Doctor but as a person I'm crap."

He shakes his head "No Neela. You are amazing you always have been…so you made some bad 

choices…welcome to being human. Everyone does it you don't have to throw everything away because of it…" he pauses and takes a breath "As for the best friend thing…you haven't lost me Neela…you never will…"

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

I pull my head away from him, swallowing hard. Our eyes meet and he gives me a small smile, which I am unable to not return with one of my own. As we sway gently back and forth to the soft music, I take a breath, wanting so badly to kiss him at that moment, but knowing that would be going too far.

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

He blinks and takes a breath of his own, then leans downward, catching me off guard, our lips meet and my heart begins to flutter in my chest. All the pain, all the fighting, everything that had happened the past few days disappeared within that moment…with that embrace…I close my eyes and let go of his hand, wrapping it with the other around his neck, standing on my tip toes…nothing mattered now. IT was just us, he and I trapped forever in paradise…

You were always on my mind