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"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Edward, you can't just lay there forever." I droned her out as I usually did. Unsure of how much time had actually passed, I let myself wallow in my own misery. As always, thoughts of regret ran through my mind. Why did I leave behind the one person that I couldn't live without? She was the equivalent of my soul mate but because I was eternally damned, she was my soul. If there were anything more precious in this world, she would be it. "Are you listening to me?" She sighed, frustrated with my stubbornness. I loved her stubbornness. It caused her to make some unsafe decisions but it was a part of her and I loved everything about her.

Looking over at Alice, I could see that she was having a vision. She blinked back with a terrified look on her face. "She jumped off the cliff.. and her future disappeared." Panic reflected from her eyes to mine. How could she do that? Why? She promised she wouldn't! Darn it Bella! You couldn't just go back to a regular life after the vampires left rang in Alice's head. It was time to go back. I had to see what was going on. Just a quick check, then I'd have to leave again.

Why, Bella, why?

The familiarity of Forks was slightly comforting but my mind wouldn't rest until I saw her face again. Fear washed over my body at the thought that she hurt herself even though she promised she wouldn't. Then again, I had broken promises too. I broke the promise that I would protect her forever; do anything in my power to keep her safe.

Reaching her house, I could hear her heartbeat. The wondrous sound rang in my ears as I slowed and stopped to appreciate the melody her heart sang to me. She smelled so good but besides her smell permeated the smell of another odor. An odor that made my nose scrunch up in disgust. My face paled even whiter than it already was. If I correctly identified the putrid smell, it would be the smell of a werewolf. And the werewolf had been near her! Of all the times to be a danger magnet, a WEREWOLF? Only she would attract the next dangerous thing in town. First, vampires. Now, werewolves. Couldn't she be less irresistible? I shook my head, already knowing the answer to that question.

Her window was open.. like it always had been. Was she still hoping I would come back? My mind raced as I jumped to the window with ease. Her scent was stronger, more concentrated. I glanced around the room. My eyes stopped at her figure. The edges of my mouth twitched into a smile, seeing her resting peacefully. Wherever the mongrel was, it wasn't here anymore. With every breath, her chest rose up and down; her blood streamed peacefully in her body; her heart pulsed, sending harmonic vibrations to my ears. Her lips barely parted, probably from her mumbling. I wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her, be with her.

I couldn't bring myself to leave. Needing to be in her presence, I sat in the rocking chair across from her bed. It seemed like a while I had been sitting there but it was worth seeing her. The warmth of her skin radiated and it was like I could feel her without actually touching her. Her eyes fluttered open, chocolate brown glittering in the room. She sighed.

"Just a dream." She murmured. Her eyes scanned the room and stopped when she saw me; then they widened. "Oh crap. What are yo-.. why.. who ar.. how'd you get out of my dream?!" She stuttered in a harsh whisper.

"I'm not a dream."

"I've seriously gone bananas." She muttered to herself. "Someone please take me to the crazy house."

"You're not dreaming. I'm really here. Though, I guess it's not hard to mistake me for a nightmare."

"Nightmare? I was having a good dream. Maybe the dream's just continuing.."

"Bella, this is not a dream."

"UGH! I hate not knowing anything anymore." I was confused. What did she mean by that?

"I don't understand."

"Hmm?"

"I don't understand what you mean by not knowing anything anymore?"

"Since I'm hallucinating, I might as well enjoy it right?" She rationalized before continuing. "Jumping off cliffs does wonders you know. When Jacob saved me, I couldn't remember anything. Not even my name." Her eyes were downcast. "I wish I hadn't jumped now. I can't even remember why I jumped. All I know is what Charlie and Jacob told me. I don't even think they told me everything but I have no choice. Trusting them is the only thing I can do." She wrapped her arms around her chest as if she were holding herself together. No longer could I stand the "no touching" rule I had set up for myself. I sat with her and held her close, basking in her scent and the closeness of her warm body. She shivered slightly. I unwrapped my arms around her to place the blanket on her as a shield against my cold body.

"Thanks." She whispered softly. Silence passed between us. I didn't mind. Finally, I was near her. After a long period of desolation and misery, she was in my arms, where I wanted her to be. Where I silently hoped she wanted to be too. She nuzzled her nose into my chest. "You smell amazing."

I chuckled. "I could say the same thing about you."

Hmm.. I thought I heard something. Did Jacob come over without me knowing? I should check on her, just in case. Charlie was coming. I had to leave, pretty sure Charlie would have a problem with me being in her room after leaving for so long.

"I'm sorry I have to go now." I kissed her softly on the top of her head and reluctantly unwrapped my arms from her.

"Do you really have to?" Her eyes pleaded me to stay. How badly I wanted to stay. But I couldn't. I was obliged to stay as far from her as possible so she could live a normal human life. Not until I get rid of that werewolf. My mind reasoned.

"But I'll be back. Soon." She smiled a small smile.

"Promise?" This promise, I wouldn't break. Charlie knocked on the door.

"Promise." I whispered and quickly hopped out.

Outside without her warmth, I felt alone again. But the joy of seeing her beautiful face lingered. Though I was still ecstatic from being in close proximity with her, I had to think about what she had told me. About not knowing anything anymore. Did the jump do more than just worry me to no end? If she didn't remember anything, did she not remember me? She seemed to be comfortable around me but she thought I was a dream. Was she really so shocked to see me that she thought I was a dream? Or did I really not exist in her reality. Did someone take my place as I had intended? The thought of some other man's arms around my Bella felt cruel; it was my punishment for leaving. Charlie's words rang in my head. Did Jacob come over without me knowing? Jacob? That boy that took her away from me during prom? My hands clenched into fists. The urge to stay and beg her to take me back surged through me.

I resolved that I would meet with her once more. Talk to her about everything and see if she was happy. Find out who Jacob really was to her. Find out if she remembered me at all. But mostly

I wanted to know if she still loved me.