I do not own any one in the WWE
When Matt and I had gotten back from Iraq, it was very hard for me to council the guys and gals who were affected by the aftermath of the war, because I too was being counseled for what I had seen and my feelings, so all I was doing was passing on what I was being told to do. I finally went to Vince after a couple of sessions with some of the new people I couldn't do it on this subject and had asked if my therapist could take over on the Iraq subject. He willingly agreed to let my doctor see the new roster people, but I would continue to see the old roster people because they could help me understand also, because they have been there so many times. This arrangement helped me out a lot I learned so much from the old roster who had been there year after year. The recovery process took a little over a month.
Matt and I were home for a about a month before we had to go back out on the road. We decided to take a mini vacation with the boys. We decided to take them to the sites of Florida. Andrew was still a baby but Adam was so excited. We called this our honeymoon with kids. We got on a plane and flew down to Orlando and rented a car to see all of the sites. First thing we did after renting our car we checked into our hotel suite; yes some how Matt managed to get us a presidential suite. Once we were settled in the boys were both put to bed because it was late. Kandi was also tired so she went to bed also, but before she went to bed we told her we were going to the bar for a couple of drinks if it was alright with her. She said go for it that's why I am here to watch the boys right. We told her we wanted her to have fun also. She just told us to go and have fun.
When we got down to the bar they had karaoke going on and Matt tried to take me some place else but I told him no I could go a night without singing, just watch me. I didn't even look at a book or anything. The next thing I new Matt and I were being called up to do a song. The song Matt had chosen was paradise by the dashboard lights. When we were done and back at our table I swatted Matt up along side of the head and told him I could go with out singing, so when and why did he put that song up. He told me he did it while I was in the bathroom and he liked the song and wanted to do it. I told him that wasn't fair, and now I wanted him to do my favorite song for me, or at least request some one to do it for me, but I would prefer you do it for me. Matt just looked at me and said any thing for you. So the next thing I knew Matt was up on stage singing Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry.
It was getting really late and we wanted to go to Disney world in the morning, so we finished up our drinks and went back to the room and went to bed holding each other as we drifted off to sleep.
We slept until around nine o'clock a.m. which was much latter than what we wanted to but Kandy had the boys up and ready to go a Andrew was fed and changed, and Adam was watching cartoons waiting for us to get up so we all could go to breakfast. Kandy still we say to this day was a god send. That's why we didn't mind taking her with us on our vacation/honeymoon. Matt and I got up and took a shower together of course because we were already running late. Then we all went down to the breakfast nook to eat. After we were done eating we got into the car and headed for Disney world. We didn't know where to start, the place was so big. Kandy suggested that since this was our honeymoon why doesn't she take the kids for the day and we can go where ever we want for the day and we would meet at eight o'clock by the entrance so we could spend some family time together before the parade. Matt just looked at me and I just looked back at him, we stepped aside and talked for a moment, then we gave Kandy 200 for the day to get Adam and Andrew some souvenirs, food and water to make Andrews bottles.
Matt and I held each others hand and walked thru the park trying to decide where to go first. Matt said lets go to space mountain, I said cool lets go. The rest of the day was just whatever we walked by we went to it. Then it was time to meet Kandy and the boys. We hooked up with them and watched the magical parade.
After the parade we were on our way back to the hotel when we were hit by a drunk driver in a big 4x4 he drove right over the back seat area of the car and flipped us onto the passenger side half on the roof. I just laid there and cried out to Kandy, but I got no response from her, I heard Andrew crying but I could not get to him. He seemed to be so far away. The next thing I knew Matt was calling my name and I could feel him reaching for me, I told him I couldn't move, I was pinned in by the seat belt and by the crushed side of the car had my right leg caught. He found my hand and he held it. Matt, can you see Kandy and the boys? No baby I can't but Andrew is crying that is a good sign. Help is coming Andria. Matt I am very tired. Andria stay with me, help is coming. Matt, I love you. Andria I love you too, stay with me. I will Matt where are the boys? They are in the back, they will be ok I know it. Just calm down, Andria. Help is here. They flipped the car back onto its wheels so they could get us out better. I screamed in pain because when they did that my leg was caught and it pulled a lot. They went to work on getting Matt and I out first, but I told them to get the nanny and our boys out of the back. They said that they had to peel off the top of the car from front to back. They wanted to get me out of the car because they had to relieve the pressure off my leg. It took them 15 minutes to free my leg from the crushed steel, as they were getting ready to take me away to the hospital, I seen Matt walking around, he only had some bumps and minor cuts that he was treated at the scene for. I told him to wait and ride in with one of the kids that I would be ok. Matt stayed at the scene for the fire department to get the back of the car exposed to see what has happened to Kandy, Adam, and Andrew. The paramedics just told Matt that Kandy and Adam didn't make it and that they were going to rush Andrew to the hospital to see if he could be saved. Matt rode with Andrew. Matt just broke down Crying. Andrew coded on the way to the hospital. They could not revive him. This made Matt sob even more how was he going to tell me that we lost both of our children.
Matt entered my room, shortly after they put stitches in my leg and made a make shift cast for it because I couldn't get a full cast until my stitches were out and that would be about two weeks. I asked him right away about the boys and Kandy, he didn't have to say a word I seen the look on his face and the tears well up in his eyes. They didn't make it, did they? He just came over by me and embraced me and we cried together. I totally lost it as I looked at Matt and said no there must be some mistake not both of them I heard Andrew crying. Andria, he died on the way to the hospital I was with him. They did all they could for him. The truck drove right across the back seat. That's why when he came off of the car he was still going so fast he flipped the car. The paramedic said Adam and Kandy did not suffer any they were killed instantly. Matt is that supposed to make me feel better. No Andria it's not. The doctor released me being confined to a wheelchair and limited crutches use. Before we went home we were told that we could spend some final time to say our good byes to the boys. We called some close relatives and friends who came and spent some good by time with us. We also called Kandy's parents to let them know what happened.
It finally hit me when we were sitting there looking at two little lifeless bodies, they were gone, I started to get mad at the person who did this to my babies and cry that they were gone. I didn't know what to do but sit there and cry. Matt just sat there with me and he cried along with me. Every one who came to spend some good bye time with us would just hug Matt and they would hold me and let me cry on their shoulder.
Jeff, Shannon, and Gregory made all of the funeral arrangements for us, knowing that Matt had his hands full with taking care of me and my injuries. I just kept looking in the boy's room and telling myself they were just some where with Kandy. I was right but not in the right mind of thinking. The reality sat in very hard when we were at the funeral home. I cried almost thru the viewing, with every one coming and giving their condolences. I had Matt or Jeff by my side at all times. There was a point where I didn't want to be in the home any more so I asked Shannon to take me outside. He did and told me he knew what it was like to lose a child, because when he was married to Kristal they lost their little girl when she was six months old. I asked him how. He told me that Kristal went to get her up one morning to take her to day care and she wasn't breathing, so in a way he kind of knew what I was going through. But Shannon I lost two to a drunken bastard, and I started to cry even harder. Shannon took me in a full embrace and told me it will get better the memories will always be there and from time to time you will cry but the hurting that you feel will go away, just don't let it tear you and Matt apart like it did Kristal and I. Right now you both need to pull together to get through this and if his grieving process is shorter than yours then you just need to let him know that you are still grieving and to please be patient with you. I wish I would have been more patient with Kristal. After my talk with Shannon I asked him to take me back inside where I did start to mingle with the people. Shannon talked to Matt about what he had told me. Matt told him he is going to give me all the support that I need, because my life revolved around my children, and he knows that he will need to fill a lot of that void him self.
After the memorial service Matt took me back to the house and we sat up for hours looking at pictures of the boys, some of the pictures Matt had never seen before, like the ones of me in the hospital right after the birth of Adam and some in an old album that I had forgot about. I got out the old movies of Adam's birth right up to his first words and his first steps. They were in a box marked Adam that wasn't even unpacked yet. Matt was happy to share these memory's with me; he said that he was so sorry that he was not there to see them himself. We both just cried and said at least we have our memories. Good or bad we still have them. I told Matt that there should be a brown photo album in the bottom of the box. He found it. I told him to open it, when he did it had an autographed picture from him that said "To Adam with love Matt". My sister went to one of your signings and had it done special for him. Then as he looked on the next page there was one that said "To Adam with love Uncle Jeff" I got that one right from Jeff when I went to a signing. Adam was one month old. That is why I couldn't believe nobody ever told you. Matt told me that was in the past and now we had to live one day at a time and deal with what was going on now in our lives. I told him I knew that but I guess I was trying to divert my anger some where else, I am sorry Matt. That's ok My Love do what you need to do. I don't want you to ever leave me Matt you are the only thing good that I have left in this world, As Matt took me in his arms he assured me he wasn't going any where. With that being said it had been a long day, Matt carried me upstairs and laid me in bed elevated my leg and laid on my left side and just held me until we both fell asleep.
Two weeks latter I went back to the doctor to get my stitches out and have my full cast put on. This made it a lot better to get around. It was three days before Matt and I were due back to work; Matt asked me if I was ready to go back. I told him that we have to restore some sort of normalcy to our lives; we can't dwell on the accident forever. When I got back I hung a sign on my door if you want to offer your condolences don't come in. I am here to help you not the other way around. Shawn had been out of the country with his family for the last two months so he had no idea what the message door meant. He came in with the question about the message. Well Shawn since you are the only one who doesn't know Matt and I were in a car accident and our boys and our nanny didn't survive. I got this broken leg and Matt got some bumps and minor cut and scrapes. Now don't say any thing to me, let's just talk about you how did your book and DVD signings go? Did you and Becky have a good vacation? He told me every thing went well with him and that he would pray for strength for Matt and I and it was left at that.
We went to the after show party and had a few drinks and made some small talk with the others, then Vince came up to us and asked us if we were indeed ready to come back to work, because of the note on my door earlier. I told him I just couldn't have any one talking about the accident, because I am just starting to accept what happened and I don't want to be reminded of that horrible night. I am here to talk to them about their problems not to them about mine. Vince totally agreed and left it at that. Matt said nobody has said any thing to him, I just think that they think Andria is the one that is not strong one, but she has been quite strong in handling this situation, better than I expected her to be. With that Matt told Vince we were sure that working was the best thing for us both us.