Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: For the readers of this story, I am really truly sorry that I haven't updated in 2 weeks! Slight writer's block issue. Every writer's worst enemy. -Sigh- But it's over now. Thanks to those who reviewed. They really do make me feel happy. For Mrs Ulliel-Whitlock, I am continuing the story. :) As you might have noticed by now. And so, after a long 2 week wait, here's Chapter 7.

Guilt

"Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway."

- Isabelle Holland

Slowly, I opened my eyes to a bright day. It wasn't exactly sunny outside, but there were fewer clouds than usual. Groggy from sleeping, I tried to bring my hands up to rub my eyes only to find that my arms were wrapped around a cold marble body. My eyes shot up to see cheerful, golden orbs staring back at me. I blinked a couple times to make sure it was real. And it was.

"Good morning." I mumbled, my voice hoarse from a night's rest.

"It is a good morning." Playfulness danced in his eyes and his voice. "How was your sleep?"

"Marvelous." I breathed, stretching out my rested muscles, for lack of a better word.

He chuckled. "Your hair's all over the place." A tinge of pink crept to my cheeks and I started trying to run my fingers through my hair and patting it down to make it less Frankenstein's bride status. He stopped me though, saying, "It looks fine. I promise." I stopped trying to make my hair look remotely decent. I hoped I didn't smell like sleep. At that point, being human was not so wonderful.

"I'll be right back." I muttered, afraid that if I opened my mouth any wider, it would reek of morning breath.

"Of course." He just smiled understandingly. He kept making it more and more difficult to believe that he hurt me at all.

In the safety of my bathroom, I brushed my teeth, got the tangles out of my hair, and looked in the mirror. I saw a girl full of color - as much color as I could possibly have - and eyes radiating with life. Did Edward really have this effect on me? I touched my face to make sure it was really my reflection looking back at me; it was.

Suddenly, I felt a tinge of guilt. I felt as if I were betraying Jacob and his love for me. All he wanted was my well being but here I was, fraternizing with the "enemy" and even going so far as to inviting him to sleep in the bed with me. Something was wrong with me! Yet it felt so right. I couldn't explain my own emotions. Jacob made me happy but inside, it was like Edward made me happier. I had to push thoughts of Edward out of my head. Yesterday night, I had my fun but now, I had to set the record straight. He hurt me and Jacob didn't want him around. I would put my foot down!

Or so I told myself.

I had everything all figured out in my head but once I stepped back into the room where he sat, waiting for me, and looked into his eyes, my mind went blank. He was smiling his gorgeous crooked smile, arms outstretched for me. It was an offer I couldn't refuse, even with my mind's nagging guilt. My heart gurgled in satisfaction and the internal wound hadn't acted up at all since last night. What was I going to do with myself? I sighed involuntarily as I sat within the protection of his strong arms.

"What's wrong?" I hesitated, wondering whether or not I should tell him what I was feeling. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, pleading me to tell him what I was thinking.

"Well.. I just feel a tad guilty. I mean Jacob told me to stay away from you so in reality, since he is my boyfriend, I should stay away from you."

"I should leave then?"

"Should. But I don't mind breaking the rules every now and then."

"Are you sure? I don't want him getting angry at you because of me."

"But I don't want you to leave." I said, a little too quickly to be good.

His laugh sounded like angels singing harmoniously. "I don't want to leave either."

I smiled. But happiness could only last so long. Jacob would be coming over soon and he would probably recognize Edward's tantalizing scent. I was going to be fed to the sharks once Edward was gone. Or rather fed to a werewolf, which I'm guessing might be much worse but I wouldn't know. "Jacob's coming over soon." I stated, hoping he would catch the hint.

And he did. "And that's my cue to leave." I pouted slightly. Honestly, I didn't want him to leave and I felt like a big baby for acting the way I did but it made him laugh, which was an added bonus. "I'll come back but only if you want me to."

"Would you really?" My eyes lit up, excited for the next time I would see him.

"Of course." His fingers brushed my cheek. "But now, I must go." And he left through the window.

Jacob came over and immediately noticed the scent. No surprise there.

"He was in your room again, wasn't he?" I was quiet. I didn't know what to tell him. I was afraid he would blow up at me. For the first time, I was actually scared of him. "Wasn't he?" He stressed. I nodded slowly. He exhaled, frustrated. "Why didn't you call me and tell me?" The truth? I didn't want him to know. The lie.

"I was half-awake when he was here. I couldn't think straight." Well, a half-lie.

He convulsed slightly. I shrunk away, waiting for the explosion that was about to hit me. It never came. He let out an angry sigh before speaking again. "You need to tell me next time so I can tell him to get lost." His facial expression softened. "You have to realize that it worries me when I'm not around you. I'm afraid he'll bite you when I'm not here." He thought for a second, then continued, "Maybe I should stay with you. Or you could stay with me." I wanted to shout, protest even, but that would seem immature. I was not a little girl. I could handle myself.

"You'd get sick of me." I stated calmly.

He raised an eyebrow. "How could you possibly think that?"

"At first, it'll be all fine and dandy but then, I'll start to complain and become a nuisance and you'll transform into a werewolf and rid yourself of the little nagging girl. Actually, you'll be doing the whole world a favor."

He chortled. "Bella, you're absolutely over-the-top. I'm not going to get sick of you. You're much too loveable for that." Blushing slightly, I felt the tinge of guilt come back. My mind kept nagging He's only trying to do what's best for you. My heart had inappropriate things to say to my mind. Too many forces at work in my body at this point. Both forces were too stubborn for their own good. "Bella, are you okay?" I realized I had zoned out.

"I'm fine. Sorry. I'm kind of out of it today. I'll be okay though." I smiled.

"Okay good." He grinned.

"So what've you got planned up your sleeve today?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Technically, I don't have sleeves to pull any plans out of." That's right. He never wore a shirt.

"Well then. I guess that means we won't be doing anything today." I said, playing along with his charades.

He grinned. "Let's just get some breakfast first."

"Sure thing."

After breakfast, I managed to trip over my own feet and dropped the plates I was carrying to the sink, causing them to shatter into a million pieces.

"Ugh! Why me?" I sighed, exasperated by my own clumsiness. Jacob just laughed at me. "Oh thanks so much for laughing at me." I huffed and started picking up the broken pieces.

"I'm not laughing at you, hon. I'm only laughing because your clumsiness is endearing." I rolled my eyes but smiled at him anyway. It was like I couldn't stay mad at him for more than a split second.

He started helping me pick up the pieces. Just like he had when I had fallen apart. Now I really couldn't help but feel bad about yesterday night. And yet, a part of me still wanted to see him. To feel the way I felt when I was with him. To breathe in his wondrous scent. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked worriedly. "You said you'd be okay but I beg to differ."

"I'm really sorry Jacob. I'm just feeling a little light headed." He tensed. Whoops! I had said the wrong thing again. When was I ever going to get anything right?!

"It's because of that bloodsucker, isn't it? I'm going to have to hunt him down." He said, more to himself than to me.

"No, no! Don't do that. I don't want you to get hurt." I don't want Edward getting hurt either I added mentally.

"I won't get hurt, Bells. Besides, I'm a werewolf. You know I can fend for myself."

"But still, Jake. If you leave and get hurt, who's going to watch over me?"

He pulled me into a warm embrace. "Bella, Bella." He said in a soothing voice. "I would never leave you if I knew it was too dangerous. I won't leave you like that leech did."

"Please don't call him that." I interjected but added quickly for Jacob's sake, "I don't enjoy hearing the words leeches and or bloodsuckers after eating."

He chuckled. "Fine. I won't leave you like he did. I want to make you happy, Bella."

"And I'm grateful for it, Jake. I really am." I wrapped my arms around his waist, rather as much as I could since his torso was so well-built. "Still, you're not going out and hurting yourself."

He rolled his eyes. "Bells. I won't hurt myself. And I won't hurt you."

I sighed. "I don't know about the first part. But the second part I am definitely sure of." I smiled. "You would never do anything to hurt me. You're honestly a good person."

I couldn't help but notice that he had a sad smile on his face but one look at my worried expression and he locked the sadness away. Deep down in my heart, I knew I was making him sad too; even if he didn't know it. In my mind, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to swear that I would never make him sad again. But in my heart, I knew. Knew that I would want to see Edward again; knew that I would be selfish and allow him to see me again. Why couldn't I just love Jacob whole-heartedly and let Edward go as well? I was hurting everyone, including myself and it wasn't something I enjoyed doing at all.

"Bella." Jacob called my name. I looked into his warm, loving eyes.

"Yes Jake?"

"I'm sorry that I didn't have anything planned for today but I just remembered I need to go somewhere today." He was leaving me now?

"You're leaving me." I was feeling very confused, alone, and in need of .. of.. something! I didn't know but still, he was leaving me. How utterly selfish I was feeling today.

"No! Please don't take it like that. I'm leaving temporarily but I'll be right back. I promise."

Sighing, I nuzzled my head into his chest. "You better come back or I'll kick you again." I mumbled teasingly.

"Oh, I wouldn't want that." I could tell he rolled his eyes. Loosening his grip on me, he let me go slightly. He bent down and brought our lips together. Still no spark. "I'll be back." He whispered against my lips.

"Mm. Be safe." I whispered back.

He briskly hugged me again before going out the door. Again, I began picking up the pieces of the broken plate. What I really needed was to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

The cool breeze outside felt really good after enduring the intense heat of my werewolf boyfriend. I didn't understand why I couldn't just love him when he loved me so damn much. I was lost, confused, sad, scared, and alone. The wound that had temporarily healed started opening up again. An immense amount of pain released when the stitches of my heart started to come undone. I held myself together to keep composure. Why now? Why was it that Edward made me feel so much elation that my internal wound meant nothing? And why was it that with Jacob, there was no spark of electricity when our lips met? Why couldn't I just remember my past so that everything wouldn't be so cloudy.

I suddenly had a thought that my jump, Edward, and Jacob all had some sort of relation. I felt as though Jacob and Charlie hadn't told me everything that I wanted to know. Probably for my own protection. What a bad idea that had turned out to be. I vowed to figure out this puzzle. One way or another, I would find out the missing links in my life and I would find out the truth about me. I needed to feel like I knew myself again; I was always up for a good puzzle. Even if I was the puzzle myself.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize someone had crept near me.

"Hello again." I stiffened at the unknown familiarity of the voice. Why it was familiar was beyond me.

I slowly turned my head to see the face of the speaker. Why was it that the moment I actually might have needed protection

No one was there to save me?