A/N: Enjoy chap 4.

Disclaimer: I own nothing…

Party of the Three Kingdoms II

Chapter 4 – Dinner's Served!

Everyone ran to the long table in the dining room.

"You all have a nickname on the table – you must find it!" Sima Yi yelled.

"Fat…fat, is it pig?" Xu Zhu asked.

"Yes, that's you, sit down," Sima Yi said. The chair was double the size of a normal chair.

"Who is 'boyfriend'?" Lu Bu asked.

"You're my boyfriend," Diao Chan said. "It must be you!"

"May I remind you all that if you sit in the wrong place you get a pie thrown in your face," Sima Yi announced.

"Ooh! 'Pretty Boy'! That's me!" Zhang He said.

"Slut?" Zhen Ji looked at the tag. "That can't surely be me!" Then she walked away.

"Pirate, that's you, Gan Ning," Lu Xun said.

"Yeah, and you're Burn Boy," Gan Ning laughed.

After 10 minutes of debating they were all seated.

"Now, Zhen Ji, PIE!" Sima Yi rubbed it in real good. "You are NOT an Enchantress. You are a SLUT!"

"OMG! How can you say that?!" she screamed.

"Everyone thinks so, stop pretending you aren't." Then he moved on. "Lu Bu, you are not my Boyfriend – Zhang He is! Zhang He you are not a Pretty Boy (well you are to me), you are my Boyfriend. Zhou Yu is the Pretty Boy. Well done to Gan Ning and Lu Xun. Zhao Yun – It Boy – correct!" Then Sima Yi arrived at a very angry looking Cao Pi. "Good you are Cow Pee. And there's The Cow at the head of the table."

"Sima Yi, come here. NOW!" Cao Cao yelled. Then he switched to a whisper, "next time you'd better give me a better name or leave me out altogether!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, don't moan at me – after all, it was you who hired me to organise most of this." Sima Yi moved onto the last names. "Fan Girl. Xiao Qiao? Well I suppose you are, I meant your sister. You are supposed to be sitting under 'Fan Girl 2 and Annoying Brat', you see that seat next to Zhou Yu? It's yours. I'm so nice aren't I? Sitting you next to your husband."

"IT'S THE FOOOOOOOD!" Xu Zhu yelled. Then he began to bang his knife and fork on the table.

"Give us a second," Dian Wei said as he placed down the fattest turkey ever.

XOXOX

"This is great food, Cao Cao," Liu Bei said.

"Yeah, I didn't think Wei's soldiers were such good chefs," Sun Ce said.

"Hey, Xu Zhu, how did you manage to get the name 'Enchantress'?" Xiahou Dun asked.

"I asked them all if I could move up the table – all the food's gone down that end," he explained.

"WHAT?!" Sima Yi exclaimed. "But all that money…can no one ever satisfy you?"

"Hmm…we put more food down that end…"

"Don't worry, Sima Yi," Xiahou Yuan said. "Most of that money was spent on sweets for later."

"There's MORE?" Xu Zhu had big dreamy eyes.

"What? No…did I say later? I meant earlier." Xiahou Yuan was trying to cover up his mistake. "Sima Yi, may I have a word?" Sima Yi nodded. "In private." The two got up and left the table.

"I've got an idea. We could give Xu Zhu a sleeping pill – without him knowing – and then that'll keep him out of the way later," Xiahou Yuan said.

"OMG!" Sima Yi slapped his forehead. "What a great idea. I never knew that you actually had a brain, I thought it was all sawdust in there."

"Oh shut up, just do it."

XOXOX

"A toast," Sima Yi said. "To Wei's excellent Christmas party and to the Three Kingdoms. Long live Wei!" Then they all drank their red wine.

"Ah-hem."

"Done," Sima Yi said as they watched Xu Zhu drown his glass quicker than anyone else. Their latest plan was going well.

"Now, feel free to relax for an hour or so," Cao Cao said.

"Zhuge Liang, we must play chess!!!!!!" Sima Yi yelled.

"Let us go then."

A/N: Sorry about the wait. Harry Potter came out, then Pokemon Pearl. Both are so addictive. Oh well, at least this is done. Please review.