The Risk
You love simply because you cannot help it.By Kim Anderson
Chapter 3
Haley ran around the kitchen's center island, happiness reflected I her eyes. A smile lit her peachy skin and rosy lips. A tomato rested in her left palm.
"Grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and salad, want some Nate?" She winked holding up the red fruit at the childish grin that illuminated his strong masculine face.
"You wouldn't tease me, would you, Beautiful? You know I'm a man that takes his food very seriously." He said, his lip twitching with mischief. Haley's addicting giggle sprang forth, dispersing tingles throughout his tall frame. Lord help him, he had missed her.
"Want a bite?" She taunted handing him a cucumber slice from the salad bowl.
"Mmm .. Real food," he moaned, "Scrumptious!" He planted a loud playful kiss on her forehead. "When's dinner ready?"
"As soon as you set the table, Mr. Scott. You have to earn your keep around here!"
He grinned wider, "I'm on it."
"Beautiful that was delicious. I can't recall the last time I have had such a great meal. I haven't had a home-cooked meal in…. in-" Nathan paused realizing what he had mistakenly let slip.
"Since Mrs. Roe made spaghetti the night my parents and I celebrated your return from Bosnia." Haley didn't falter from his questioning stare. "It's okay to talk about my parents and Lucas, Nathan. Time has taken away most of the hurt. I have a lifetime of good memories of them to share." Her smile was bright. "Have I told how stoked I am to have you here? I get to show you how great of a cook I am." She reached over and rubbed his earlobe, a fetish of hers. "Would you like more salad? Rolls?"
She ignored the bursting excitement she got touching his tan flesh. Her breath hitched despite her efforts to control her underlying attraction to him. No. Now wasn't the time to remember how is calloused hand had felt on her breast and hips or how the way he licked his lips made her long for his tongue in her mouth making he quiver with pleasure.
"I'm stuffed and thanks for having me. Little Haley James, chef extraordinaire. What a world?"
Nathan felt the chemistry, his body hot with awareness he must shelter. He reached for his beer, casually freeing himself while fight back thoughts of how her petite figure fit perfectly against his long lean physique.
Haley giggled. "I had to beg Mrs. Roe for months to teach me." Her brown eyes sadly expressive when she said "Mom was totally pissed. Good old "domestic" Haley was such an embarrassment to her. She always took the opportunity to remind me. My hobbies were a little too Suzy Homemaker for her liking: cooking, gardening, charity work, and then the final nail in the coffin so to speak, I chose to be an educator rather than a company scientist or VP like the rest of the James women. She never quite grasp how such a liberated female such as herself produced a traditional daughter."
"Lydia was never disappointed by you, Beautiful. She was one of your biggest fans."
"Maybe…" She sighed indifferently. Nathan saw the skepticism in her face. "I know she loved me, she always made it clear despite her and Daddy's hectic work schedules. It's that she set such high standards for me."
"Goals that didn't interest you."
"Yes. I'm so glad Daddy was different. He got me. She couldn't see why I didn't want the same things in life as she did or why I had no interest in the science of creating and advancing feminine hygiene products like the James women and men before me. They approved of Lucas's interest in journalism. That's one of the main reasons they liked you so much. You were good for Luke. Beside that you shared their fascination with all things foreign and exploration. I was the outcast."
"You weren't, Hales. They loved you for who you are. You're special, so don't ever change." His eyes glowed with a deep intensity that she found impossible to look away from. Nathan was feeling such a stew of emotions he in turn had into safe and sober channels. He took another sip of his beer, hoping she didn't detect the shake in movements. He rubbed his clammy hands together.
"How's the book coming?" She forged ahead even though she knew he didn't like talking about his career. She rarely knew where he was half the time and only found out the magnitude of the danger he was in after the fact.
He grumble. "Gradually."
"That's it?"
He picked at his half eaten roll, refusing to continue with more details.
Haley sighed, knowing when to give up. She was so sick and tired of him handling her with kid gloves. "Pound Cake?" She offered busying herself by collecting the empty beer bottle from the table rather than draping her arms around his neck and clinging to him for dear life. She could only imagine the dangers he had faced since their last visit. Un uh, she wasn't going to linger on that. He was here with her now. That's all that mattered.
The pair knew the was no way to penetrate the wall they had built between them. Years ago they had excepted their individual lives as part of their relationship. Yet Nathan was the only man Haley was capable of being in love with, and Haley was the only woman he couldn't have. They each silently caution themselves, let it be.
"Homemade?" He asked hopefully.
"Sara Lee," Haley laughed with glee. " But I did spring for whip crème."
Nathan added to her joyous spirit. "Haley James and whip crème. I think you just left me speechless." He couldn't hide his flirtation. "Sorry, I couldn't eat another bite. Why don't you relax while I clean the kitchen? You've done plenty today." He insisted, tagging behind her like an obedient servant with the salad bowl in one hand and two used plates in the other. They strolled into the orange and chrome kitchen with a rooster theme. It was totally Haley. The small lady took the items from him and place them in the hot soapy water that filled the sink. "Not a chance, Mister. I'm going to pamper you until you turn to mush tonight. Tomorrow, you're on your own, buddy."
"But-"
"If you want to be helpful, light the fireplace while I finish up in here."
"On my way." He grinned satisfactorily.
The wind blew strong outside, swirling the little that was left of multi-colored tree leaves off their branches and scattered them across the lawn like a beautiful blanket. With the turn of the gas, a couple of logs and a match, Nathan had the fire ablaze. His mind filled with worry. He assured himself how pleased he was to find her loving life here in Tree Hill. Unfortunately, his soul ached with loneliness and the dread she had already found or was going to find a man to complete her world here. A guy who didn't share a complicated past with her that had already gotten in the way.
"All done" Haley chirped, removing her apron. "Come have a seat."
Nathan moved from his perch in front of the fire to a cozy spot on the recliner. Haley sat across from him on the sofa. She amazed him when she twirled the charm (a compass) on her platinum chain between two fingers. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for my gift yet. It's lovely, Nathan."
He nodded bashfully. "I glad you like it. It reminded me of you." He had sent it just because last month. "Hey, Hales? Do you still eat a bagful of Skittle every time you go to the movies?"
"Ew, no they're too sweet! I hate them now!" She giggled. "I can't believe you remember that!"
He shrugged.
Haley laughed off her flattery. "Television?" She reached out the remote, but he waved it away while Haley try to appear unaffected that he chose not to sit close to her on the large sectional.
"You have a wonderful home, Beautiful. You really belong here."
"Thanks. Your opinion really matters to me"
"You love it here? Don't you? You found what you've been missing."
Hazel brown eyes connected with light blue deep blue ones. "I think so. Well, most of it. You never know what the future holds."
"The future. You done everything you could to put the past behind you, haven't you, Haley? From what I see the only things left are the painting and some photographs."
"A few precious mementos, I just couldn't part with. Yes, the rest is gone. I sold the property and auctioned its furnishings. I had no choice." She swallow the lump in her throat and fought the mist in her eyes. If only her loss and sorrow could be left behind.
Nathan came up the arm of the sofa where she was perched. His hand coaxing her shiny hair before resting it on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you, Beautiful. I wasn't thinking."
"Don't apologized," She said, lifting her hand to stroke his rugged cheek. "You love and understand me like no one else. You my best friend…my family."
"And you're mine." Nathan cleared his throat in hopes of disguising the huskiness of his tone. He so loved this woman.
"Now tell me more about your school. From what I can see, the place is incredible. You've outdone yourself!" He congratulated, resuming his seat and leaning back into the plush cushions trying to alleviate some of the pain throbbing in his gut. He casually threw his leg up on the nearby ottoman, refusing to give into his bodies demand for sleep.
"I've been blessed." Her face glowing with pride.
"Right. You've worked your ass off- you're still giving it your everything, I bet."
"Hard work never her anyone. Truthfully, I'm not keeping up with the demand for our services. I didn't think we would do so well so quickly. I've been fighting a loosing battle to keep the facility small and family oriented."
"Wasn't the idea to be profitable…..successful?"
"Not this big. Nathan. You know I don't need the money and I can certainly live with the headaches of an expansion. I have my hands full with the administrative aspects of the business. Lately, I've spent the greater part of my time substituting for absent employees with a flu virus going around than doing my own work." She bit her bottom lip. "I guess that's part of being a small business owner. Sometimes it makes me want to come out of my silent partnership of the family business. Corporate has been looking good lately. Okay, so I'm lying." She mused and he chuckled.
"How many people does it take to run a daycare?"
"Let's see- We have a nurse, a cook, a drive/maintenance man. Ten teachers and their assistants and a secretary. That's twenty-four not including myself and my secretary's daughter, Jersey, who does odd jobs after school like raking leaves and refilling supplies for the teachers. The biggest problem is we have a two-year waiting list."
"Sounds like you're definitely in demand. Why not open another location!"
"Nope! Never! I know all my employees, each child and their parents. I intend to keep it that way. I want to provide the best possible developmental and educational platform for the children. I'm going to make sure their needs are being met. I'm willing to expand here, but only a little."
"But? He prompted.
"The community is really pressuring me to enlarge. Am I being selfish, Nate?"
Nathan shook his head." Outspoken, pigheaded, hot tempered …. A little, but selfish…. never. Stand your ground. You know what your doing, Beautiful. It will benefit all of Tree Hill's young children in the long run." Nathan was impressed by her extreme devotion and talent in her career choice, but hardly surprised. He expected the best from her. After all, she was a James.
"Thanks." She was comforted by the understanding in his eyes. His opinion mattered. She enjoyed sharing her work with him. She hated that she resented his hesitation to do the same with her. His work was an extension of him and she wanted to know his every part.
Nathan was a rich man in his own right. His photographs of war widows and AIDS orphans worldwide were awe inspiring. His one-man showings in Paris and New York had been high successful. Also, he had wisely invested much of his money. He could live very comfortably if he chose not to work another day in his life and indulge himself in whatever his delight. Nathan also donated a considerable amount from his free-lance work to universal children's charities. The starving children in Asia and Africa had left an everlasting impression on the generous man. However he never forgot home, giving freely to Children's hospitals, community centers and many other American charities.
Money didn't drive him and it certainly wasn't the reason he constantly risked his life. Every new assignment, whether it's a magazine article, or a National Geographic documentary is what challenged him and kept him going.
"I don't know why I'm rambling on about this. I told you about it in one of my letters."
"Humor me. I never get tired of the sound of your voice." He teased sincerely, determined not to let his gaze stay on the softness of her glossed mouth and dainty facial features.
Her skin was a creamy peach, unblemished and smooth as butter. She was like that from head to toe. Her breast were perky and a full C cup, her nipples a rosy pink, the color of raspberries. iShit! Snap out of it Scott! It's a faded memory now/i If he didn't clear his mind he would be remember how silky the curls of her neatly trimmed womanly garden were. He had to get a grip right now. He was already semi-aroused.
"Nathan?"
"Yes? You've got my full attention, Beautiful."
"I hated it when Mr. Durham, our nurse's husband had to take an early retirement and quit driving the bus last year. I had to go to temporary service to replace and employee for the very first time?"
"Tim Smith, right?"
"Yes. He use to be so dependable. But lately he's frequently late when he does show up. He smelled of alcohol a couple of times and I refuse to let him drive the bus. He's distant and private. I just can't seem to get to know him like the rest of my staff. He so cold and defensive some times, Nathan." Haley told, having no idea of the frown on her face.
"I can try to find out more about him if you want?"
"No. Thank you, but I'm probably being overly sensitive. I checked his reference and they're fine. I'm worrying over nothing." She curled her feet up in the chair. "Why am I telling you all this? We have so much catching up to do." She didn't wait for him to remark. "So what's been up with you? How long are you staying?" was her attempt at being nonchalant, knowing his answer was extremely important to her. She was desperate for him to have a long stay.
"I'm taking the first flight out in the morning."
Over the years, he had sheltered Haley from the dangerous side effects of his job. He gave her minimal information: where he was station, an a emergency contact number. She never knew his actually activities until they were over, then he sent her a copy of his finished work. She had lived through enough hell, some of it his own fault without him adding insult to injury.
Nathan rubbed his forehead. There was no way he could stay without finding out he had been shot. He didn't want to go, but it was necessary. It had taken all his strength to appear fine during their visit thus far. He was cramping and needed to take another pain pill. Damn, he should have thought this through before he left New York this morning. She couldn't see him through a bout of delirium because he was still fighting a serious infections and had refused to stay in the hospital any longer. But, he couldn't fight his body much longer. He had to get some rest or face some very unpleasant consequences.
Haley looked at him with those beautiful tiger eyes. The sadness he saw in them filled his heart with grief. "You've only been here for a few hours. We haven't caught up. At least stay the weekend. I want you to see the school and meet my friends. Can't you wait until Monday. You look exhausted, Sweetie. You work way too hard and you don't take good care of yourself. Stay here and rest. If you're going to work, I know you laptop is around here somewhere. I won't bother-"She spite bitterly.
"Don't make it harder than it already is, Beautiful." Damn, this is what he didn't want. He was hurting her yet again. He shouldn't have come.
"But, Nathan. We rarely get this kind of time together. It's so precious." Haley whined aware of the high pitch and tremors in her voice despite her best efforts to shield them from her best friend.
His visit had been long enough for him to know he still wanted her. Like and idiot, he had given in to his addiction, his need to see her, be near her. If it weren't for this ache that altered his common sense, he wouldn't have taken such huge risk in the first place. He would have come once he was stronger, after he completed his work in the Sudan. Then he would have sent her a ticket to meet him in Amsterdam, Beijing, or Nashville- anywhere but his or her home. He had to leave before he destroyed the balance that was their relationship.
"I enjoyed our time together. Dinner was delicious. I'll come back soon. I promise."
"Liar! Don't patronize me. I've known you for too long, Nathan! Soon to you may means six months, a year, hell even two. That's if you make it through you next assignment. Why do you act as if you job isn't dangerous? I'm not some naïve kid! I know the atrocities going on all around the world, Nathan! It's not like you're some novelist, writing in the basement of a safe and sound farmhouse. You risk your life every time you go on one of your task."
"I won't let you worry about me!"
"So you're a magician now? Well that's a hell of a lot safer than a journalist!" She smarted and he narrowed his eyes at her. "How are you going to stop me from caring, Nathan! I love you! You're the only family I have left." She turned from him but he knew tears were brimming in her eyes.
She had just proven he was doing the right thing by leaving. She was too sacred to him. He wouldn't upset her with his injuries, and that's exactly what would occur if she found out. Hell no!
"Beautiful…" He started, still unsure on how to continue.
"You don't need to say anything. I apologize. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. I know you're doing what you must. Your last book on the changing political situation in Lebanon was brilliant. I guarantee the next one with be even better. Please, just ignore me. I was being too sensitive. I just wish you'd stayed at CNN. You were great at covering stateside news. You got so much admiration from your peers and viewers. We got to see each other more frequently. You were enjoying it."
She was referring to the three months he had worked for the national news channel covering the brutality of a tornado that swept through Kansas. One of his mentors had grown ill. As a favor, he had replaced him temporarily. He did like it- especially a weekend here and there with Haley. He watched her, his hooded eyes heavy.
"Coffee?" She interrupted, knowing he rarely touched the stuff. She had spoke out of turn. Photojournalism was his calling, his passion everything or one else was second best.
"None for me, I think I'll call it a night."
She tried to get up to but he held out his hand in a halt. " Stay. Enjoy the fire. I know you haven't had your tea. I'll see you in the morning. I'll let you cook me breakfast." He gaffed.
Haley agreed, plastering on a smile. "Frozen waffles and burnt bacon for you, mister!"
He laughed lightly in hopes of softening the blows the rumble gave his tense abdominal muscles.
"As long as I get to make the omelets. I know my way around a frying pan too." He rose, cautiously approaching her with slow determined steps to hide his discomfort. Carefully bending at the waist, he place a lingering kiss at her temple. His eyes tightly shut as he battled dizziness and nausea. Sweat glistened off his bronzed skin as he said. "Sleep well, Beautiful."
"Goodnight." She whispered, her hands underneath her hips so she wouldn't reach out and pull him to her heaving chest. She wanted the impossible, to be held in his strong and loving arms.
She kept silent or she would start begging him to stay longer once again. She had so dreamed he would be staying for a full weekend. Their departures were always hard, but this one was going to be a grand disappointment in a long list of separations. Five long years of partings since their reconciliation.
Unconscious of the tears streaming down her face as she sat alone, Haley knew he made his choice a long time ago. Yes, she hated it! However, in the morning when he left, she would give him her brightest smile and warmest hug and pretend her heart was breaking.
After making herself some tea, she really wasn't drinking. She placed it on the coffee table and lay back on the sofa, her thoughts going back to the first time Lucas brought Nathan home. It was during their camps Fourth of July break.
He had been so handsome, cool and confident, intriguing to a fifteen year old girl. Later, she would come to recognize how unsure and nervous he had been meeting her parents that first time. Accidentally, he had trampled Jimmy's prize tomatoes and broke Lydia's nine iron, but they still adored him.
The both knew the dedication it took for an emancipated boy to succeed without any support from friends or family. Haley was the only one jealous of Nathan's appearance in their lives. She was envious of his closeness with Lucas and planned to hate him forever.
Mature beyond his years, Nathan was kind and patient with her. He never complained when she tagged along with them and would sometimes offer an invite upfront.
During their college years, Nathan spent every break at the James estate. He and Luke worked well together. Their friendships was steadfast. So after college it wasn't surprising they would choose to become free-lance partners. Not only were they good at journalism, they thought they were invincible. Getting the story was all that mattered. As Haley grew from a silly high school girl to smart co-ed, her feelings changed and grew for Nathan Scott. He created a strong bonded with all the James and he became family. Reflecting back, she knew she had been in love with Nathan Scott since she was fifteen.
Stop! She couldn't think like that. She had wasted too much time on the past. Nathan was in her home now and she was grateful. He had taken time out his busy schedule just to see her. The rest was water under the bridge. She would leave it alone. She had a successful preschool by moving forward…. No turning back.
Concentrating on the positive, Haley did her nightly ritual of making sure the doors were locked, putting out the fire, and cutting off the lights before heading to bed.
Light crept from the underneath the door as she past Nathan's room. After changing into her flannel nightgown, Haley remembered she didn't feed the fish today. She hurried to the sunroom and threw a few pinches of flakes in the saltwater tank.
When she returned to the stairs, Nathan's light was still on. Placing her ear to the door, she could hear his light snoring. He was worn out, she thought, as she gently turned the door knob. Her slippers barely made a sound as she crossed the room to cut of the bedside lamp.
"OHMYGOD!"
Haley's short scream caused Nathan's lashes to fly open. Instead of the stress evading his system, it spiraled as he studied the fear embedded in her youthful features. He didn't have to follow her line of vision. He knew she was staring at his nude chest, A little below his belly button, where his tightly wound bandages started and end low on his trim hips. ……..
Pamela