The Risk

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Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. Rainer Maria Rilke

Chapter 9

The enjoyable December weather left Nathan wearing only a fleece jacket and a Henley shirt as he made his way to the edge of the garden. His hands were full of bounty, four different types of squash including pumpkins. As the weeks melting into another, he spent less times indoor healing. He began the day with long run along the beach and through the forest, before calisthenics and weights in Haley's gym. He was determined to get one hundred percent of his strength back. His days were complete with time spent working on his book as well as doing odd jobs around the house and school.

Honestly, he needed a distraction after that late night talk with Haley. Physical labor was good for his body and mind, but it also exhausted him to allows him to sleep when the rising thirst for Haley would have otherwise kept him awake…engorged and aching for what he told himself didn't belong to him.

Maybe it was time he moved on- get out while he could- before either of them got hurt more than they already had. He had stay a little over a month. It was long enough to heal his wounds- time enough to complicate their relationship even more.

He looked across the lawn at Jersey McFadden and her little cousin Candace. Jersey was bagging her last pile of leaves after a couple hours of raking and some sabotage from Candi, who had scattered several of the piles of colorful leaves with a variety of big running leaps before her older relative got her under control.

"Hi, Mr. Scott." Jersey waved, her perky voice carrying over the open area. Her eight year old playmate following behind her as she dragged the tall bag to the curb.

"I know you want to make money, but you still have to go to school, Kid." Nathan teased, checking the time on his watch.

Jersey rolled her eyes. "We had half a day. I wanted to get my work done so I can watch the Degrassi marathon that starts at 4." She explained. "I had to bring Candi along because her parents are working." Nodding the girl's way without looking at her. "They're picking her up from my house."

Candace was now pirouetting around the five large lawn bags. Her long wavy hair swinging underneath her winter cap. She was slightly chubby, with rosy cheeks, beautiful blue eyes and the most angelic giggle he had ever heard, well, the second most.

Nathan's gorgeous face displayed a rare smile. If their little girl had made it, she would be Candi's age. The realization was painful. No matter how long ago it happened, he still yearned for might have been. There's no doubt, the threesome would have been a family. Nathan's soul ached with regret.

When the man withdrew from his daydream, he saw one of the bags lying on it's side, leaves spilling from it. Candi's round little body gliding on the bag.

"I'm going to kill you!" Jersey screamed and immediately dropped her rake to chase her little cousin as she hobbled through the evidence, laughing mischievously.

Nathan placed the vegetables in the wagon, cracking up as Candace ran toward him with her stubby legs. If Jersey hadn't tripped over the bag, she most certainly would have been caught. However, by the time she reached the giddy school girl, the third grader's face was hidden in the back of Nathan's jacket as she clung to him with her tiny arms around only a portion of his narrow waist.

"Nooooo! Don't let her get me, Mr. Scott! Don't let her get me!"

Nathan bobbed and weaved the fiery Jersey, who was ready to kill her cousin. "When we get to the house, I'm going to pull all the heads off your Bratz dolls and cut up their clothes." She warned, stamping her foot and turning back to repair her hard work.

"I'm sorry, Jers. Please don't hurt my dolls. Puhleeeze." Candace begged lagging behind. "I'll fix it." The older brunette's head swung and she threw her and icy glare.

"Why don't you stay and help me, Candi." Nathan suggested. "Let your cousin cool down."

"Yes, Sir." She joined him in the fenced in area without argument, knowing she had gone too far with someone who was usually so sweet and forgiving. They were close and she hated the idea that the cousin she idolized was upset with her, but Mr. Scott was nice.

They worked well together, Candi's little hands gathering beets and radishes, while he yielded the pumpkins and collard greens. Candace asked questions non-stop, but Nathan found it endearing. Soon, Jersey completed her task and joined them, her anger forgotten. She reminded him so much of Haley. Marvin McFadden was a lucky man. He had a funny and energetic wife that adore him and a bright and kind daughter that any man would be proud to call their own. What more could a man ask for?

"Candi, Mommy wants us to come in and have a snack.!" Jersey shouted from the entrance of the daycare. Candace dusted off her pink and grey sweats and raced for the door. They bounced up the steps arm in arm. "Bye, Mr. Scott." They rang in unison.

Despite the tenderness in his middle, Nathan went back to work. He was out of shape. He would be leaving soon, finishing his assignment in the Sudan. Surprisingly, he was dreading it because it meant leaving Haley. That was something he didn't want to do.

He treasured seeing her cheery smile and sunny disposition every morning at breakfast. She brought glory to his days. He loved talking to her, listen to her, even the comfortable silence that sometimes filled a room they shared. Nathan couldn't think of anything he wanted more than simply being with her, except making love to her.

Tim was outraged. He had trusted that bitch! He thought she was different. Idiot! She treated him like shit, just like the other beautiful tramp. He should have known, she even looked like her! They told him she had been in a plane crash, no survivors. Even he wasn't that stupid. There had been nothing on the news and he watched for days. She ran off with some asshole, claimed he was a movie producer and left him with Todd. He was going to fix her! He would get them both!

"Excuse me, Mr. Smith." Jersey said walking around the man in the driveway to get to the school's mailbox.

With his back still facing the girl, Tim took the satin purple handkerchief he had been twining in his hands and stuffed it in his pocket. Turning around, he greeted her.

"Hey, girl. No school today? You're early." Tim chuckled, his eyes slowly gliding over the child's maturing frame and lingering at her boot covered legs.

Jersey, thought nothing off it. Mr. Smith was a little weird, but funny. He was always nice to her. He brought her cool little bracelets and hair ribbons. She found it hilarious how shy and bashful he was around Ms. Haley or her mom. They were way to old to be crushed out on. "We didn't have school this afternoon." She sang, skipping to mailbox and returning with nothing. Candace joined them, but he paid her no mind.

"The bus is here!" Jersey shouting, watching the public transportation turn down the intersection at the far end of the street.

"I'm on my way in town. I could drop you home." Tim asked hopefully.

"Thanks, but Candace and I like riding the bus. It full of funny people." Grabbing the eight year olds hand, they took off for the sidewalk and the marked stop destination. "Bye, Mr. Smith." They rang in unison.

Tim watched the pair get on the bus and greet the driver, Felix. He was a dear friend of her parents and would make sure they were dropped off directly in front of Jersey's home. Tree Hill was a town where you could trust your child was safe on the city bus. No one could harm them.

Nathan worked until his biceps trembled with fatigue and his back ached from strain. Stopping to wipe the sweat from his brow, he looked towards the house. His thoughts were never from the woman that own the place.

He worked hard at pretending they hadn't discussed their past. They had purposely avoid the conversation for years. He hated exploring his feelings of disappointment and betrayal. The thoughts were best forgotten along with that of a future together.

It had been two weeks since that faithful night and he kept going over it again and again in his head. He always return to the blatant fact. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself from wanting Haley. A lifetime ago, he had accept his need for her in his life and he would do anything not to ruin that. Yet knowledge that she wanted him sexually was bitter sweet. Nathan's lips curled into a smirk, aware of the wild sense of masculine pride that lingered within because of her want for him.

What the f uck? He was only human. For years, the only roles he could play in her life was protector and close friend. He had accepted the limitations and made it through by not dwelling on his desire for her.

There was a short time after their reconciliation that he needed to be intimate with a woman periodically. Not any more. He had been out of commission for a stunning amount of time with no relapse in sight. He hated abstinence. His normal libido was too high for him to welcome being celibate. However, he preferred doing without than substituting for the woman he longed for. Haley had to only be in the same building as he, and he reacted like a horny thirteen year old. His cock would become rock hard, demanding a release.

Out of the blue, she had changed her mind. He could be with her, let his hands roam her body, squeeze her lush behind while he buried himself deep in her hot cavern. How could he turn that down? Where had his incredible will power come from when the compulsion for her was so natural and his shaft was rigidly hard?

He was going insane from craving her. He was sick of being partially aroused all damn day and fully arouse during his nights. The constant ache was breaking his resolve.

Did she truly think once they made love, the could go back to their old agreement? He was all man! Once he had her again, he was only going to want more. It was the nature of the beast. He was naturally possessive, aggressive, and savage. She would have to be with him, not in some small country town. Not being with her would only create a new kind of hell for him. Didn't she see that? It was better this way ….. For both of them. At least in Tree Hill she was safe.

Suddenly Nathan's face glowed with entertainment, his blue eyes sparkling. Haley was a stubborn and opinionated as he was. She had been too self-sufficient, too hell-bent on reaching her goals and making her own way in the world to need a man. Thus far, she had done a fine job. Apparently, she realized her error. She wanted something only a man could give. She had chosen him to provide that service.

"It's not that easy!" he bit, pulling the vegetables to the school, to take them to the kitchen, determine to fight his fantasies of how her lips felt on his chest, the way she sighed when …. He now dreaded bedtime as his night was filled with dreams of their lovemaking, praying not to remember, yet unable to stop himself.

What he felt for now was so much more passionate. He was ravenous for the seasoned woman she had flowered into. He pined to unlock her feminine secrets.

He was at the side entrance when he noticed a husky man crossing the street, his car door slamming loudly. Instead of going inside, Nathan left the wagon and made his way down the drive.

Cooper Lee hastened his paced, his keen eyes taking in the casual clad figure. He grinned. "Nathan Scott. How the hell are you? You look good, Dude!"

"Thanks, man. How's it going?"

"Great! You know you scared the hell out of us. I apologize for not visiting you in the hospital. I was stuck in El Paso."

They shared a manly hug. "I understand. Jules came and told me you were there in spirit. I appreciated it." Cooper and Jules Lee had often had Nathan over for dinner or a barbeque when he was home in Manhattan. The pair met years ago when working on a similar story in Thailand, working on different angles of the child sex slave industry and the involvement of American men.

"What are you doing in Tree Hill?"

"I'm visiting a family friend." Nathan scanned the other man's navy suit and shiny loafers. "I was wondering why you're here too, but it's obvious this isn't a social call, unless Jules is sick of Long Island and forced the family to a simple country life."

"That would be a no. It's serious business."

"The FBI is staking out daycares now?"

"I take it your friend works here? Who is it?"

"The owner, Haley James." Nathan quirked a brow. "What's up?"

Cooper scratched his head, he knew Nathan wasn't going to be thrilled. "The lady may have a situation on her hand." In detail, Cooper gave Nathan the low down on visit.

Nathan cussed like a sailor. Haley was going to flip! She didn't deserve this bullshit!

Mr. Lee was intrigued by his behavior, but didn't probe for the nature of their relationship. He knew Nathan well. He was a quiet and private man, but there was obviously a special woman in his life. She wasn't open for discussion. Was Haley James the one? Lee decided to let it go. "It's wonderful see you're better man. You were really lucky, Scott."

"I wasn't sure I'd make it for a minute."

"When are you headed back?" Both men knew it was only a matter of time until he returned, it required that kind of dedication.

"In a couple of weeks I should be solid and out of here. Come inside and I'll introduce you to Haley."

"This place is amazing." Cooper whistled as they came up the back hallway.

They poked their heads in several classes. The singing of kids songs filled the air along with giggling from a story being told in Ms. Marsh's room. The five year olds were finger paintings and the babies were happily napping in their cribs. " The only time it's quiet in here is when they're sleeping." Nathan joked. They were nearing the party room, when a toddler came dashing out, banging into his Mr. Scott's legs.

The little girl was shrieking at the top of her lungs. Her brown cheeks tinted red with anger as tears raced down them.

"Hey, where's the fire little one?" Nathan soothed when the round little girl refused to let go of his calves.

Bevin trailed the child. "Nathan," She breathe. "I don't know how in the world Brandy got out that door without me seeing her."

Nathan gaffed, bending down to pick up the crying sprout. He rested her against his shoulder. "Have you seen Haley?"

"She's actually in her office. Can you believe it?" Bevin said with amusement, sending a questioning glare to the other man.

"Bevin Freeman, an old buddy, Cooper Lee."

While the two said their Hellos, Nathan took a clean tissue from his jacket pocket and persuaded the tiny girl to let him clean her face. Although she had calmed slightly with her thumb rubbing her ear lobe, she refused to move from her station against Nathan's broad shoulder.

"Don't you want to back inside with Mrs. Freeman? Shaun wouldn't want you to miss her party?"

"Want my daddy." Brandy pouted and whined. "Wanna go home."

Cooper watched his single friend. Kids seem to flock to him, just like his two boys.

"Brandy's mad at me because I wouldn't let her help Shaun blow out the candles." Bevin clarified patiently.

Nathan nodded. "Brandy, if you go back inside, I'm sure Mrs. Freeman will let you pass out the milk. Wouldn't you like to be her big helper?"

Brandy's large dark brown eyes volleyed from the tall man to her teacher. Finally she shook her head, long black braids with butterfly snaps at the ends bobbed around her arms, ending at the elbows. Nathan hander her over.

"You're a lifesaver." Bevin and a tear free Brandy wave, returning to the classroom.

As the two men continued their walk, Cooper chuckled. "That was a cute kid."

"This place is swarming with them." Nathan said drolly.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of and why I'm here."……..

Pamela