Epilogue
Tegan stares around the room she hasn't seen in so many months. It is at once familiar and alien. Everything is as she left it, or so she assumes; clothes hanging neatly in the wardrobe, bed made, John's belongings in their little corner, the crib looking suddenly too small compared the armful he has become since he was last here. She lets him down to crawl around and explore what to him must be considered a new space, then sits heavily on the bed and drops her head in her hands.
She does not weep, although she is aching to; she will not cry while John is in the room, awake and aware. He crawls over to her, perhaps sensing the sorrow that has overcome her, or perhaps just wanting to be lifted on to the soft surface of the bed so he can explore that as well. Either way, he is a welcome distraction, and she musters up a smile that gains in sincerity as she watches him explore the new surface, chewing on the pillows and rumpling the coverlet.
She is home, and she feels empty.
As the weeks go by, she promises Nyssa she will see a counselor if necessary, but the nightmares have blessedly stopped frequenting her sleeping mind. She is still disturbed physically, with an uneven appetite and fatigue settling on her at odd moments, but she is otherwise fine and defends her ability to process things on her own with a ferocity that surprises no one except Tyrel, who has not truly witnessed her like this before, although Nyssa certainly has.
She has confessed everything to Nyssa that first day back, when her friend stops by to see how she is adjusting, if she needs anything. John is sleeping, Tyrel is in surgery, and Nyssa has deliberately left Borean in charge for a few more days. She tells Nyssa about the Master, about her time on his TARDIS and her captivity on the island, leaving nothing out, stating it as baldly as possible even though her friend's face is transformed by grief and horror. She has not heard all the details before this, and Tegan wishes she could spare her, but knows she needs to tell one other person.
One that will remain with her, that will be there to help, than can be there to help. Nyssa is seated on the edge of the bed, as is Tegan; they are holding hands, while tears slip down both sets of cheeks. When Tegan admits that she and the Doctor shared a night of intimacy, Nyssa's cheeks burn with remembered embarrassment at walking in on the two of them kissing. She suspected what had happened, and seems pleased that Tegan wants to share the good along with the bad.
She is suitably shocked at what the Master did in trying to destroy Tegan's self-confidence, and is thrilled at how the Doctor undermined that effort even before the physical part of their relationship. Tegan promises that she can share anything with Tyrel she feels necessary, and Nyssa assures her she will only do so if absolutely necessary. Then she gently presses her friend to speak to the counselor once more, only to be given the same brush-off she has received in the past. It is obvious that Tegan feels that speaking to her friends is just as beneficial as any disinterested third-party could ever be, however professionally trained and knowledgeable.
It is only when the physical symptoms increase rather than vanishing that Tegan consents to a physical exam; the only thing the Doctor actually checked her for was pregnancy, and she allows that she might have needed a more extensive review. Perhaps she has picked up an exotic virus on Primus Seven.
The results of the exam send her mind reeling, and she bolts from the room without allowing the doctor to finish, ignoring his agitated protests as she races through the door and down the hall, automatically taking the turns that will bring her back to the quarters she still shares with Nyssa and Tyrel, stopping only to pick John up from the day-care center, mumbling excuses to the bewildered caregivers; Tegan was not expected for several more hours, John is sleeping, but she insists on taking him. He remains asleep as she hurries into her room and closes the door, placing him tenderly in his crib and staring down at him, breathing hard.
This can't be happening.
But it is. She collapses onto the bed, throwing herself down and weeping into the pillows, muffling her sobs as best she can while John continues to sleep, blissfully unaware of his mother's current suffering. She intends to get herself under control before he wakes; his empathy seems to sleep when he does, but if she is this upset when his nap is over, he will be miserable and afraid.
Just like his mother.
oOo
Nyssa rushed down the corridor. She'd been in her office, going over financial figures from the previous quarter, when Borean put through a call from Dr. Ganong. "It's about Miss Jovanka," he'd started out, sounding agitated. Nyssa, too, became agitated well before the end of the call. Calling out to Borean to keep things under control, she left her office in the middle of the day and hurried to her quarters.
Tegan was there, lying on the bed. Nyssa glanced in on John, saw that he was still sleeping, and quietly urged Tegan to join her in the main living area and a calming cup of tea. Tegan looked up, her face swollen and eyes red from crying, then nodded and allowed Nyssa to lead her from the room. She sat quietly on the couch while Nyssa hurriedly prepared the tea, finding the most soothing mix she had in the cabinet and heating it to the temperature her friend preferred. Then she joined Tegan on the couch, waiting until she'd had the first sip, watching as her friends fingers trembled and shook, nearly spilling the tea before managing to get it into her mouth.
"Tegan, Dr. Ganong called me, he said you'd rushed out of the exam without allowing him to finish it. He wouldn't tell me what he'd told you, but he knew how close we are and urged me to speak to you right away. Please, tell me what happened!"
Tegan gazed into her tea cup, then placed it abruptly onto the low table in front of the couch. "The Doctor did an exam, I told you that." Nyssa nodded encouragingly, already rehearsing words of comfort for whatever ailment Dr. Ganong had found, promises of cures and anything-that-we-can waiting on her tongue for Tegan to give her the necessary information to allow her friend to begin her research. Borean would have to be placed in charge of all administrative duties, of course, and Tyrel would have to be called in to consult, along with any specialists they might need. She was busy planning it out in her mind, and so nearly missed the two simple words Tegan offered in explanation.
"I'm pregnant."
Nyssa gaped at her, braced for any eventuality but this one. "But the Doctor said you weren't!"
Tegan nodded. "I wasn't. But I am now. The Master didn't do this to me, Nyssa."
"But if he didn't, then the only other person who could be the father..." Her voice trailed off in disbelief, but Tegan nodded confirmation.
"The only other possibility is the Doctor," she confirmed, her voice unsteady. She reached for the tea and gulped down a substantial amount. "I don't imagine he meant this to happen, any more than I did, but now he's gone off and left another woman pregnant with his child. And Kyris doesn't know he's about to become a brother, either. Because I will have this baby," she added fiercely. "I don't care how much work it takes, I won't give up even this much of the Doctor, especially when I can't have him any other way." She'd made her mind up about that immediately; all the tears she'd lately shed had been for her inability to get in touch with this new life's father.
Nyssa, usually so unflappable, collapsed back against the couch and groaned, covering her eyes with her arm. "Tegan, are you sure? Have you thought this through?"
"Whatever it takes," her friend replied firmly. "And you better get the tech laddies working on a way to contact a TARDIS, any TARDIS, so we can get word to him. I'm not doing this all on my own, no offense to you and Tyrel, but I want this baby's father in his life. Or her life. Whatever."
"Right, of course." Tegan was having another baby. John was going to have a brother. Or a sister. Whatever. And she, Nyssa, was about to become head researcher on an extremely rare case of a hybrid pregnancy.
"Well, you certainly know how to keep our lives interesting, don't you, Doctor," she murmured to herself, eliciting a brief snort of laughter from her companion. She pulled her arm down and opened her eyes. "Right. First things first. You go back and finish that exam, apologize to Dr. Ganong, and I'll keep an eye on John. When Tyrel comes home, we'll start planning your prenatal care regime; Dr. Alysz is good, but I suspect we'll need to contact some specialists for this."
Tegan nodded. "Good." She wiped away the last of the tears and finished her tea. "I'll apologize, tell him I just panicked. Which I did. But I'm much calmer now." She stood up and strode purposefully for the door, closing it gently behind her.
"You're much calmer; I'm glad one of us is," Nyssa muttered, groaning again. "Sometimes I believe the universe has a consciousness; the only problem is, most of the time it's laughing at us."
Then she too came to her feet and headed for her private research area, making sure to leave the door open for when John woke up.
"Doctor, you'd better be reachable," she muttered to herself. "Otherwise I won't be responsible for Tegan's actions."
She set to work, knowing that her life was about to be turned upside down yet again.
And secretly, she was thrilled.
The end?
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A/N: Well, there it is in all its glory, with an obviously open ending. Shameful, I know, but I'm enjoying this alternate whoniverse I've created too much to want to stop playing in it. Let me know what you think; twist or cliche? I love getting Tegan pregnant...wait, that didn't sound right. In my stories, I love thinking up different ways for Tegan to be pregnant. That's better. R&R and we'll see how long it takes me to write the next sequel.
