Title: Our Love Now (3/?)

Author Name: Trinity Black

Rating: R

Pairing: Remus/Sirius

Summary: Change can hurt so much sometimes that it is hardly worth it. Are old habits really any worse than they used to be?

A/N: I know this took a while but it is mainly because I am once again attending the godforsaken place known as school. I will try to get one chapter or more out every week though.

Feedback: Thank you so much for all the feedback I've received so far I'm glad you're all enjoying it. If you have any suggestions they are greatly appreciated in any form :)

    Sirius' first observation upon waking was that his head hurt. Not just any hurt but the type usually suffered after a few too many drinks. Thankfully however there was no extreme desire to re-experience yesterday's meals accompanying the headache and Sirius decided he could cope with it.

    He rolled onto his back slowly. He was somewhat surprised to discover that he was in a bed, even though he must have known it all along. Judging by the familiar scent of the bed it was Remus', which seemed to tally with his fragmented memories of the day before. Sirius wanted to turn over once more and bury his head in the pillow obviously favoured by the werewolf. Two pillows, a double bed. Sirius toyed with the idea of Remus not spending nights alone. He came to no conclusion, and only really succeeded in making himself angry and his head hurt even more.

    Thinking of Remus brought a desire to see him, it always did. Only this time, Sirius realised, it was possible. Quicker than he should have, given his headache, he stood up. He tried to get a better idea of his surroundings but it was still night. No, that wasn't right the curtains were drawn. He walked slowly over to where the window was and pulled open the curtains. It didn't matter what the inside looked like anymore, the view outside was gorgeous. Sirius whispered, "Shit." He had just remembered last night. Headaches could make you forget some pretty damn important things. Important but very stupid. Very stupid but enjoyable. The thought of Remus' kiss was just that, important, stupid and enjoyable. It wasn't really Remus' kiss though as he had forced himself onto Remus. "Fuck." Sirius said in the typical style of someone who remembers doing something stupid. Remus had said he would forget it, or not mention it at least. Sirius was sure Remus would keep to his word but was unsure how much the other man would be willing to forget. Sirius didn't want to forget any of it and surely… surely Remus felt the same. Wouldn't he?

    Sirius walked away from the view and towards the door. The room, Sirius noticed, was decorated in blues and white and its overall effect was one of style (which was uncharacteristic of Remus) and sophistication (which wasn't).

    From what Sirius had seen the rest of the apartment the general effect seemed to match well.

    Before Sirius left what had been his room for the night he took a deep breath. He then pushed open the pine door and left the room.

    Sirius saw Remus immediately. He was sat on the settee, feet tucked under one side of his body, he leaned slightly towards the arm rest and was holding a book of some description in his hands. Sirius smiled at what was a once familiar sight. Remus would usually be disturbed from his reading by a quick peck on his cheek, from Sirius of course but that was a long time ago. Sirius decided he wasn't anywhere near brave enough and settled for a friendly, "Morning."

    "Afternoon." Remus corrected.

    "Really?" Sirius asked. He massaged his temples trying to rid himself of his headache. "How long…?"

    "Near enough a day." Remus replied to Sirius' unfinished enquiry. Without even being asked he supplied. "There's ibuprofen in the kitchen if you want it." He'd managed to say all this without even looking in Sirius' direction.

    "Lifesaver. Thanks." Sirius responded. He just had to hope Remus understood him; he always had in the past. He plodded into the kitchen and straight back out again without even the smallest of glances. "Where?"

    "Remus chuckled. His laugh was the most beautiful music that had ever made Sirius' head hurt. "I already put some out for you with a glass of water. They're on the sideboard under the window. You would have noticed if you'd bothered to look around."

    Sirius mumbled an indistinct reply to his love and walked back into the kitchen. True to Remus' word the tablets, and the water, were laid out on the creamy white countertop. With only a little effort he managed to swallow the pills. His head began to feel clearer almost straight away. The miracle of modern medicine, either that or a fair bit of magic, Sirius wasn't sure.

    Sirius spread his hands over the countertop to steady himself whilst his balance completed its last baby steps to normality. The memories of last night were once again flooding his, now pain-free, head. Although he had acted on the way he felt Sirius was beginning to regret his actions. Firstly because he had acted like a drunk teenager, completely unable of controlling his own actions. Secondly, and most importantly to Sirius, he had probably ruined any chance of having a relationship with Remus in any capacity. Then again hadn't Remus kissed back? It was all too confusing.

    He turned on his heel intent on apologizing to his friend.

    He bottled it as soon as he saw Remus. Sirius tried to justify his actions to himself by saying the other man wouldn't appreciate it. He felt awful, but still not awful enough to do anything about it. He flopped down onto the settee, defeated.

    "Any good?" Remus asked.

    "Yeah, my head feels great." Sirius replied honestly.

    "It must do. You've rejoined the world of people who use full sentences when speaking." Remus said.

    "Yes, but not the very exclusive world of the incredible witty." Sirius said. Although they were joking with each other Sirius still believed that the atmosphere was uncomfortable.

    "Fair enough." Remus, finally, looked up at Sirius. "You look better as well."

    "Thanks I think." Sirius said. He was looking back at Remus, although unsure of were to look. He also was dying to make a similar comment about Remus' appearance, but it was one of his worst ideas yet.

    "Do you want to know what was wrong with you?" Remus asked?

    "Figured it out already?" Sirius asked surprised.

    "I needed to know if I needed to obtain medical assistance." Remus replied.

    "Do you have to?"

    "Not really."

    "Then I don't need to know." Sirius said. He looked at Remus curiously for an explanation anyway.

    "Exhaustion. Physical and probably mental as well." Remus said. Sirius nodded for him to continue. "Symptoms include tiredness, trance-like states, confusion, and on occasion the sufferer may become delusional."

    "Nice." Sirius said. He smiled at Remus. His voice alone could cause this particular response, even with the harsh note on delusional. "Thanks for looking. I still don't think you had to."

    Remus effectively stopped the discussion with a wave of his hand. "I'm going to the shops, if you don't mind that is"- Sirius shook his head –"Can I get you anything?"

    "Not really." Sirius said.

    "Sure?" Remus asked.

    "Fine, a box of After Eight mints."

    "You are a very strange man." Remus said.

    "I know." Sirius replied. He smiled at the look of confusion causing his friends brows to knit together. "What should I do while you're gone?"

    "Erm… whatever you want." Remus replied. He then seemed to realise this wasn't the best thing to say. "Within reason."

    "Moony. I'm offended. Since when am I not reasonable?" Sirius replied in mock horror.

    "Since… since… well just about forever. The TV's over there. Have fun figuring out how to work it. If you get bored I suppose you could look around this place or even take a walk. I don't think anyone would recognize you; they're all Muggles around here.

    Sirius looked excitedly towards the TV. "Great."

    An hour and a half later Sirius was well and truly bored. Working the television had been fun but once he had that down… all he could say was that he finally understood the nastier comments about daytime TV. He wasn't brave enough to attempt going downstairs. He just didn't want to be surrounded by all those people; it had become something of a phobia with him.

    Instead of going downstairs Sirius decided he would take a shower. He had just finished when he heard Remus shout that he was home. Sirius felt disappointed the words weren't preceded by "Hi honey" but he lets it pass.

    Sirius hurried to get dressed; Remus didn't exactly need an eyeful of him naked right away. He walked slowly into the living room. Sure enough Remus was ridding himself of the wet jacket he was wearing. 'When had it rained?' Sirius thought to himself. "Hey."

    "There you are. I thought you'd gone out or something." Remus said looking towards Sirius.

    "Nah. I didn't mind staying here. I got bored of the TV and took a shower. I didn't think you would have minded." Sirius said. He walked over to the coffee table where many of Remus' shopping bags had been dumped.

    "Not at all." Remus said. Remus walked over to Sirius and slapped his hand lightly. "Keep your Snape-like nose out of my stuff."

    Sirius' hands immediately shot up to his nose to check it was still as well proportioned as he remembered. "Don't scare me like that."

    "It stopped you didn't it?" Remus said, with an unusually cheeky grin on his face.

    "Yeah, but even so… that's not funny." Sirius said with a smile on his face.

    "Whatever. Yours is in that bag over there." Remus pointed towards the fireplace.

    "Did you use floo powder?" Sirius asked.

    "Yeah, is that a problem?"

    "Just wondering. It explains why your jacket's wet." Sirius explained.

    "Ever the little detective." Remus commented.

    Sirius smiled back at his friend's comment and walked over to the fireplace. He picked up the paper bag and looked inside. The bag's contents were definitely not what he had been expecting. A long thin box. Too thin to be a box of After Eights. Any wizard with any sense would know what was inside. Even Sirius who wasn't exactly famous for his sense, more infamous for the lack of it, could take a good guess at what was inside. He took the box out and opened it. Tucked in amongst red velvet there was a wand, his first for thirteen years. He looked to his friend for an explanation.

    "Dumbledore had it made. I just picked it up. It's mahogany, 7 and 7/16 inches, with a core of unicorn hair. Dumbledore said it would suit you." Remus explained.

    "God, that man is a genius," Sirius said whilst showering the room with multicoloured sparks, and before producing various loud sounds and changing the fruit bowl into a chicken and back.

    "Alright, that's enough. You can mess about later when there's less chance of me being injured." Remus said.

    Sirius wanted desperately to argue but he did exactly as he was told. He tucked his wand inside his waistband, which once again belonged to a pair of jeans. "Say Moony…"

    Remus looked up, dread written on his face, "What?"

    "Where's my chocolate?" Sirius asked.

    "Go get it yourself." Remus pointed towards the table. "There's a fiver on there somewhere, use that. You know where the shops are. You'll be fine; you've got your wand with you if you need it."

    "Fine." Sirius said. He took the money and headed out of the door. He wasn't all that worries about being caught but all the people… He hoped Remus was right.