Chapter 7

Obviously I am in trouble! I can't nod to Anakin as a positive answer as if there is someone who…

Well, there is actually nobody! Mothma had been more or less a faux pas, a mistake…made in a weak moment of mine. Or us.

There is no "we", there will never be!

He poured himself another glass of wine; his fifth tonight, but it did not matter him at all, since all he wanted now was forgetting the recent events. Events that had crushed his life out of a sudden and left it into a thousand of pieces. It was on him to put them together again.

After Padawan Skywalker finally left he felt his anger rising; anger that was caused by himself speaking freely about something that did not even exist! It was strange to him that it nonetheless felt somewhat good to talk about a relationship. He never did that before and he planned to never do it again.

Another deep sip did not bring oblivion; it just made him focussing and remembering that night and morning again.

"A kiss.

The sweetest lips he had ever felt upon his own. A warm body next to him, hot but naked skin on skin. The incredible feeling of being one with another human being.

Lust.

Need.

Satisfaction."

What in Darth Bane's name was that?

A memory flashback? It must be. This kind of intensity of lovemaking had never crossed my way so far…

STOP IT!!

He took another deep sip of wine and began to pour himself a last glass to empty the bottle. It appeared to him that he was drunk, but that fact did not lighten his mood, but made it even more hurting.

These last days had been a complete horror trip to him, and for sure also for Senator Mothma. He remembered that she did not look straight at him, as she normally had done, while they had met today in a committee appointment. Before…this all went wrong between them. He was able to feel her discomfort and shame. They were trapped in their emotions; both of them.

Even I am not invulnerable by emotions,…and feelings. I actually do feel…but this is nobody's business but mine.

Feelings and emotions are for the weak.

I can be weak.

Today I am.

I am since the night we spent together began, since she invaded unwillingly my privacy. She'd seen me, my body, she'd been closer to me than anyone else in years, probably decades. While these few hours together she had hold my heart in her hands,…I had been totally unconscious, out of control. Like she'd been too.

We'd led by hormones, pheromones…whatever.

Desire?

Mothma had agreed to meet him tomorrow afternoon in his estate at Republica 500. At home. The place where their fate had ended after a night of pleasure.

I suppose it had somehow…pleased…us in that very moment. But,…well,…pleasure belongs to passion. Although passion is related to the Dark Site I'm pretty much sure the Masters did not mean that kind of passion, did they?

A service unit removed the empty bottle from his desk in his study where he spent the rest of the evening. Anakin Skywalker had troubled and confused the Dark Lord just by asking questions. He should not have answered him, but somewhat deep inside him had taken control over him and had made him open his mouth.

Darth Sidious knew that there was another point onto his priority list, set on top of all: Gaining back control over himself!

The moment she entered his private rooms in his home something unnamed changed. He did not know what this change caused but he could feel it momentarily.

I can't ask her, I can not!

That change made him feel numb. It broke his connection to the dark site, but opened another door to let in feelings Palpatine had buried deep down in his cold heart for very long lonely years.

With all his willpower he fought back and gained control at least for a weak moment. His mind was not willingly focussing on why his guest was here but on other more intimate issues. The Chancellor got himself caught when looking up and down the Senators slim figure, his eyes resting definitively to long onto her female features. Normally he was not interested in such a thing, especially not when his co-senators were involved, but this time his body reacted on its own and he just stood next to himself watching helplessly what happened without being able to control.

Get focussed…! Get focussed! Her beauty is not your matter! And it is not yours to…what am I thinking?

She…I…no, no,…stop it- this goes totally wrong!

"Senator Mothma, thank you again for accepting my invitation" he greeted her friendly putting a light smile onto his lips.

"It is for the better if we solve this situation together" she started, her voice just a whisper. Her face was emotionless, until their eyes met.

A moment too long to be justified.

Suddenly a shy smile appeared on her tender lips.

He sent his guards away. This was a private matter, something between the Senator and him. They did not need witnesses.

The intention was a good one, the result was a disaster; worse than their first night together.

Playing the events an extra time…

Both knew they would do everything just to understand what really happened that evening. How they were able to end together in bed making love.

They had remembered dancing together after drinking that cocktail. They remembered the talking, the laughing, even the flirting.

Palpatine felt himself relaxing in her arms. Having her body so unbelievable close to him was incredible. It was as if sparkles were flying between them. He smelt her perfume, the tenderness of her skin as they stepped nearer…her hand so delicate, so soft.

They lost control again. Desire consumed them without giving them even a glimpse of a change to escape.

A passionate kiss followed the first shy one.

While Mothma had already lost her mind, Palpatine was able to register this last moment before even he had to capitulate totally towards an upcoming fog in his brain.

Drugs!

We were…are drugged!