Robin wasn't sure how to answer. Of course, in the reality of it, what Much was saying was true. They were walking in dangerous territory, just because neither of them had spoken about it, voiced their feelings, didn't mean they didn't feel them. Eventually the urge may become too much, and in either scenario of who 'cracked' first, Robin wasn't sure how he'd react in the moment. He couldn't trust himself to resist, to pull out of the situation and put an end to it before it went to far. Although it wasn't an option he wanted to think of, he knew he'd have to face Carter sooner or later, they'd have to get it all out in the open, because they couldn't go on as they were. And if they couldn't come up with a solution, they'd have to go their separate ways.
"I guess, I'll speak to him tomorrow perhaps. We'll, talk, and if we can't come up with some solution to this whole mess." he paused, not wanting to contemplate the inevitable, "I'll ask him to leave."
"Robin, you aren't going to ask Carter to leave." Much said firmly at the suggestion, sounding slightly appalled at the solution.
"Well what do you suggest?" Robin asked, confusion written all over his face. He didn't see what his other options were.
"Well, talking would be a good start. Then I think you should see where, things, go from there." Much said slowly.
Robin looked him, a dawning of understanding in his face, but he sat up a little, unwrapping his hand from Much and turning on his side.
"Much, are you suggesting," he paused, Much shrugged his shoulders and made a look to let Robin know he was on the right track. "No, that isn't an option." Robin shook his head.
"Yes it is." Much corrected, "I'm surprised you find it so, surprising."
"Much." said Robin irritated
"Master." Much replied innocently.
Robin pursed his lips and stared past Much into the dark of the night.
"No," he started again, "We can deal with this. We're all adults." Although right now he felt like a child who wanted everything and couldn't have it and no matter how much he tried to fight for it.
"Robin." Much started, but Robin cut him off.
"It's not fair."
"Whats not fair about it? Carter will be happier, you will be happier, and because of that I'll be happier. I'm not sure how long I can cope with you carrying this cloud around with you."
"It's not fair on you Much." Robin said with a deep sigh, looking down at him again.
"Whats not fair? I won't be losing you. You said so yourself, your feelings for me haven't changed." Much told him, a hand reaching up to caress his jaw again, a familiar gesture. "I won't love you any less, not sure thats possible."
Robin mused on the thought, although the guilty feeling wasn't slipping away, it was being shaded somewhat by a slight thought of 'what if', and slight surprise that Much was, one, making the suggestion and two, he was so calm about it. But then, in moments like this, it was so like Much to do so. Because he'd said it himself, if Robin was happy, then he was happy. In some ways Robin could read Much as easily as Much read him, but then, in situations like this, Robin couldn't read him as easily. Couldn't see how he really felt about it all, Much veiled it all to well. As Robin looked down at the man, took in his face, the look in the eyes, Much stared innocently back as if it were a regular everyday occurrence to be encouraging Robin to pursue another. But still it felt wrong, even now it was somewhat out in the open, it would still feel like a betrayal.
"No Much, I won't do that to you." Robin shook his head and placed a hand firmly on the mans shoulder.
"You wouldn't be doing anything to me." Much said, seeing Robin was struggling with the entire situation. He couldn't deny how he felt about Carter, but he would do anything to protect what he and Much had. "If I give my blessing, then I don't see the problem."
Robin felt a rising irritation again, because Much seemed rather blasé about the entire thing, didn't he care that he felt so much for another.
"That is the problem." he sniped and pulled his hand away, and turning to sit up with an angry sigh, wrapping his arms around his legs and pouting slightly.
"What?" asked Much, furrowing his brow not quite following the sudden change in behavior.
"You, being so, laid back about all of this. I'm telling you I feel, something, for Carter, and instead of being upset about it, your practically pushing me into his arms." Robin said, his voice slightly raised. "You could at least, pretend, to be upset."
Much didn't reply, but Robin spied from the corner of his eye and watched as he sat up. A hand came to a rest on his arm, and Robin took another breath and turned his head slightly to find Much looking at him intently.
"Do you love me?"
"You need to ask?" Robin replied, almost laughing at the question and its absurdity.
"Humor me." Much said, rather surprised at himself, because a pet hate of his was to be humored. But he was striving to make a point.
"You don't like being humored." Robin replied, and Much gave a slight smile before giving him an intense, serious look again. He gave a sigh, and nodded his head. "Yes, you know I do."
"Do you love Carter?" Much asked him and Robin had to pause for a moment and think over the question. He loved all his men, and woman, each in their own way. They were a family, a team, a gang, each one was important. But he couldn't deny he felt differently about Carter, that had been evident when they had first met, even if at the time Carter had been intent on bringing an end to his life.
"Yes, I love all of you." Robin replied, honestly, but Much just looked at him a little harder, eyes searching reading, and sometimes he wanted to turn away from such looks but he never could.
"Master, thats not what I meant."
"Yes, I do, not as much as I love you, but yes, differently than I love the others." Robin quickly replied, before Much could chide him any more. "Not that makes any difference to any of this."
"Of course it does." Much retorted. "Look, you may be surprised to hear me say this, but Carter has become an invaluable part of the gang. He fits in well with us, from what I've learned of him he has no other family, he has nowhere to go. I admit, part of me still holds a grudge for his trying to kill you, you can't hold that against me. But I do know he belongs here with us, and if his staying means I have to, 'share', you with him, then so be it. I won't see him cast out because you are stubbornly denying how you feel, and I'm not sure I wish to see what you would be like if he did leave."
Another silence, as Robin thought over the words, the reasoning behind it. He marveled somewhat at Much, that he was capable of such an act in order to make everyone happy. For the good of the gang as well as individuals. This was certainly a road he hadn't been contemplating on taking, certainly not in any real sense, and barely in thinking, having felt guilty if any such thoughts crossed his mind. He couldn't help but smile slightly, if this was how he felt, how would Carter react. There was a sinking feeling, perhaps he was reading too much into it all, perhaps Carter didn't feel the same way, maybe it was all in his head, and he was imagining the man felt the same way. His thoughts must have reflected on his face as he felt Much squeeze his arm slightly.
"What is it?" Much asked him, a little concerned.
"What if he doesn't feel the same way. Pointless pursuing something that doesn't exist." Robin said with a soft shrug.
Much's face broke into a smile and he gave a low chuckle. "Oh please, you know thats not true. In fact I think his reaction will be rather interesting when you, confront him, with all of this. Shame I'll miss it."
Robin pondered on it, the sinking feeling hadn't lasted more than a few moments, Much was right, he wasn't imagining things. He turned his head on his side with another thought and looked at Much.
"Maybe you shouldn't miss it." he said plainly, thinking over the words.
Much looked at him blankly, not following what he was talking about.
"Well, considering this concerns both of us perhaps you should be there when, you know, I, 'confront' him." Robin said, a half smile lighting his lips at the surprised look crossing Much's eyes, his brow furrowing in thought.
"Do you want me there?" Much pressed, a little surprised at the suggestion, although seeing the sense in Robin's words.
Robin seemed to contemplate the question a moment, eyes boring into Much's intently.
"Yes, I think perhaps I do." he replied finally.
Much wasn't sure what to say, the thought hadn't actually crossed his mind to be present if Robin did approach Carter, he just assumed knowing about it would be enough and that they would figure someway of living with it as time went by. But being there presented a whole new option and would completely change their dynamic as a whole. The knowing about it, and the seeing it were two very different things. But then, although Much highly doubted it, if Carter did have any rejections in terms of the feelings Robin was about to lay bare, then he wanted to be there to protect him. And kill Carter if necessary, because nobody broke Robin and got away with it. Much would make certain of that.
"Well then," Much said whilst musing, "All right."
He had encouraged Robin into taking this step, the least he could do was be there for him. Robin shot him a smile, obviously happy and a little relieved at the reply.
"Well then," Robin mimicked, before stretching his legs out before him and lying back down. "I guess thats settled."
"Yes," Much replied gently, looking down at him as Robin closed his eyes, hands folded together over his chest and looking rather relieved, as if a load had been taken from his shoulders. "I suppose it is."
He reached over and pulled at one of Robin's arms, Robin opened an eye inquiring as to what he was doing, before smiling as Much lay down closer, lying his head on his chest where his own hand had just lain. Robin slid his hand to rest on Much's back lightly, settling as he closed his eyes again.
"Can I just add that if Carter in any way hurts you, I will kill him." Much said, Robin could feel the movement of his jaw against his chest as he spoke. He grinned and nodded his head slightly, although Much couldn't see and his hand stroked against his back softly.
"Very well." Robin replied, not doubting Much's words. He was sure Much would make that obvious from the start with Carter, although he didn't doubt, Carter probably already knew it anyway.
