Chapter 2-A not so person, person

After an hour I no longer had the ability to run. My legs buckled underneath me, something they had not done since I was human. Even so, I seemed to fall with a beautiful grace.

I didn't bother to wipe the dark dirt off my face as I sat up and I barely processed the fact that I had run farther from…that place then I had ever run. I also realized that I could see the sun.

Sun. Three or four trees had broken and fallen over letting in the bright warmness that was light, something I had not seen in this dreary and black place before. The sun seemed to sparkle as it fell on small patches of moss causing the dew to glitter. I was sure I noticed this because of my observant gaze rather than some more complicated explanation but in truth I knew my enhanced vision was the cause. But no matter, why was I paying attention to such trivial things like this? Was it because death was staring me in the face, was I trying to get my last glimpses of this world before I entered over to the next?

I shook my head trying to clear the endless chatter of a thousand thoughts. I focused only on the sunlight. The sun could kill me, slowly and painfully but it could end my pitiful existence, maybe bring me more joy than life ever had. Death was no longer a fear, it was a temptation.

My body seemed to ache at the thought of moving those few feet. You can do it. I told myself, soon it will be over. I jumped at that and slowly I dragged myself closer to the patch of sun. Right before I could put a hand in the sun, I hesitated.

I don't know why. I was probably already thought dead by my relatives (I no longer thought of them as family) and anyone who would have thought differently about my death. Then a miraculous thought came to mind. What if, wherever I ended up after this, Daniela was there? This time I didn't stop, I didn't hesitate. I threw myself with all my existing energy into the sun.

It didn't hurt when I hit the ground, it never did but still I had closed my eyes in brace for the impact. Clearly I heard my fall and its sound reverberating in the darkness and echoing off trees and plants.
The few birds and animals that were nearby ceased their relentless chatter, I heard most of them scatter away or hide and I felt more alone then I ever had.

After a few seconds I felt calming warmth spread over my skin. It creeped dutifully on my pores and I longed to soak it up like this; but rationality won me over. I was dying but in a much more pleasant way than I had thought. I prepared to open my eyes, and see my surely deterierting body before it was no more.

I opened my eyes to find I had turned my head to the side where I could see the dark, dead trees strangling one another for space. I tried to pull my gaze away but cowardly I turned even farther, seemingly mesmerized by the dainty weeds sprouting through the ground. Ok Becca, turn around this time. 1, 2…3!

I had expected bones, maybe blood but nothing prepared me for what was happening.



Death was an excellent choice. Not only was it painless but beautiful! My skin that was not covered in the remains of my clothes was shimmering and dancing like diamonds as the light was thrown upon it. It seemed like the warmth was continuing to rid my skins unusual coldness. I basked in the sun, throwing my arms wide open when I heard an odd sound. My throat seemed to be vibrating and out of my mouth came a scratchy noise barely detectable as a laugh.

I hadn't laughed in months, and talking to myself occasionally didn't really count as conversation, so I was totally unfamiliar with the tinkling, pleasant noise I was making. I didn't dwell on that I only lay there in my happy contentment waiting to fall into death's arms.

Hours later I opened my eyes to an unexpected sound. I was disappointed to see that the sun was no longer in the sky, and fading quickly. I was still not dead.

In my aniguish I focused on that sound, the unusual rustling of the grass and crouched low, ready. Somewhere in my mind I realized the irrationality of my behavior but all I could think of was how close I had come to death and how that sound had somehow interfered.

It seemed to quiet suddenly and by the scent it was nearer than before. Whatever this was, it was fast and I would have to be wary. I still ached with lack of blood and this apprehension was making me more uncomfortable. The stinging rush of venom pooled at the back of my mouth and I swallowed, praying I would be able to resist if it was a human. I was weak, but blood was no longer a top priority for me, I should be fine.

Then with no more than an echo of sound bouncing of a twig a tall human jumped at me landing squarely on my back. Shocked I bucked like an animal but strong hands grabbed my hand and used them to swing off me and the figure landed squarely on the ground a few feet in front of me. I didn't hesitate as I charged forward as fast as I could. With a blur the not-so-human, human moved quickly to the right and I almost threw myself into a bush. Then it was silent as I took many, unneeded breaths of air and the human/creature/man studied me. After what seemed long but was more likely a few seconds he spoke.

"Your weak and very slow, lack of blood am I correct?" His voice was laced with curiosity.

I kept my face a mask trying to disguise my shock, but I kept my eyes trained on his losing myself in their unusual topaz color.

"Where is your hunting range?" He tried again. He seemed merely curious but I could tell he needed this information for some unknown reason. I decided to reply but give him as little information as possible.

"I don't hunt." I said as bluntly as I could.

He laughed and to me it reminded myself of the sweet twinkling giggles that had escaped me a few hours ago.



He stopped suddenly and took a look at my ruined state. He must have seen my crimson eyes, most likely wild and untamed as I had seen in the water many times. Auburn tresses, knotted and filthily together and framed my face, smeared and blemished with soil. Eyes and cheeks sunken as I guessed the lack of food (and blood) had done. He must think I'm a madwoman.

"You don't hunt at all? No animal? Clearly you don't drink human though your eyes are still red from the change…" I perked instantly at the word 'change'. I knew something had happened to me but whenever I grasped at the details all I could remember was a small, kind face dripping with longing and lots and lots of pain.

And what had he said about hunting? The man had talked like we were discussing weather, not the murdering of people's and animals lives for sustenance. Was this normal?

"Am…am I supposed to?" My musical voice cracking near the end.

This caused his face to soften slightly and his feral stance shrugged into just a standing position.

"Yes, it is; for us. Tell me, do you know what you are?"

"I'm…I'm a monster." I answered in a saddened tone, surprising myself by voicing what I had been hating myself for these past months.

"To some maybe, but truly you are a vampire. Did you not consider that, after feeling the temptation of blood, the need of it?"

This time I was ready and a steady flow of words streamed from my mouth.

"Yes, but I no longer believe such things. The Sun won't kill me."

His brow crinkled in both sadness and amusement. "That is one of the many superstitions' of vampire's. Little can kill us, usually just pulling apart and burning the pieces of our bodies, which another vampire would have to do. But tell me why, why do you want to die?"

Such an honest question, normal to hear after admitting attempted suicide. I didn't answer, but replayed his question in my head many times.

"You said 'us', surely you're not…" I could only hope. A companion, someone who I wasn't a danger to…No I mustn't let myself hope.

He nodded half heartily but smiled all the same. "Didn't my scent give it away?"

I realized he had the sweet smell that I had and almost hit myself for not observing such before. Prepared to do better I looked him down once more, properly noticing his untidy bronze hair, seemingly messy but incredibly handsome against his chiseled jaw. He was tall but not very well built as far as I could tell not much visible muscle. His skin was pale, just like mine and there was no audible heartbeat.

"You never answered my question" He said "Why do you want to die?"



I don't know why I told him everything. I hadn't seen anyone for four months and the emotions that had been bottles up exploded. Soon he knew my life story from when I was six and first started to get beaten to how Daniela had died. When I finished I was a sobbing, depressed wreck. I had hoped telling someone would make me feel better, to heal my wounds that were scratched deep in my heart, now I just felt worse. Hope was going to destroy me.

The silence was deafening and seemed to reverberate against the trees. Neither of us spoke for a long time. I noticed he had moved beside me and was looking at me in utter astonishment something that curled his features in an unusual but sexy way.

He smiled sadly at me as I thought this and his face portrayed a knowing gaze.

"Don't ever be afraid to hope." He said quietly.

The rest of the night was passed in an utter recollection of his past. He had been a vampire far longer than I had and had suffered from worse than I. I felt shame at the thought of my problems; they felt so big but they were nothing in comparison.

"I wanted to die once too." He said continuing his story. "Do you remember Bella?"

"The girl you left behind after you moved?" I said repeating what he had said many times.

"Yes. I was told she was dead. My life just seconds after that was hopeless, unbearable. I brought myself in front of the Voultri and asked them to kill me."

I stared at him. He had told me of the Volturi, sort of the vampire royalty and their fearsome guard. Still he had not provoked any fear in me; I had no fear of death…or pain. It would be welcome if I could just feel something, anything.

"What happened?" I asked, awed.

"She rescued me." He said simply. "I had saved her life many times and she was there to save me when I needed it most. I told her about my lie and that I truly loved her."

He continued to talk about her, their troubles all because of their forbidden love. My heart theoretically (I found out my heart had stopped beating somewhere in the conversation) banged painfully against my chest. Was it so wrong to long for love, something pure and true, after being denied such for so many years?

"It's not." The story seemed to stop and there was a steely determination in his voice. "It's never wrong to love, or to hope."

"What? How?-"I stuttered, my voice lost blindly.

"Becca I have a power….I can read minds."



The shock of this was not because of his 'power' or whatever it was called. It was that this entire conversation he had known exactly what I was thinking, about my life, my future, about him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I had been a fool completely trusting him, and he hadn't told me, he hadn't even told me his name.

Maybe to anyone else this wouldn't have mattered as much, but my mind was the only thing I had left, that I had any control on. That had been invaded in one moment of trust.

"I wasn't invading; it's not something I can completely control…!"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed suddenly, leaping up. "LEAVE ME ALONE."

I ran tripping, into trees blindly trying not to let myself break down sobbing. Something so simple and I had to turn it complicated make things worse for myself. Still, I needed something I could control, to have balance over. I was practically shouting in my head as I stumbled through the forest, hoping, no, knowing he was listening. I would no longer let myself hope.

"My name is Edward…" Was the last thing I heard before I was finally out of hearing range.